Guten Tag, America!
by CornCob
Summary: Zack and Cloud had the easy life until two Foriegn Exchange Students showed up and turned their lives upside down. Seph and Leon are fresh from Germany, poor Leon doesn't speak any english, and Seph isn't exactly feeling generous. LeonCloud ZackSeph
1. Home is Vere the Heart is

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own ANYTHING in this story. Not Final Fantasy or its characters, not Waffle House, not Victoria's secret, not anything. I own nothing so I don't want to get a letter in the mail with a court date, kay?

::::All right, guys. Very first chapter of my very new story.

This one is going to be a Leon/Cloud and Sephiroth/Zack.

I hope you will enjoy it! I would also like to say a monstrosus thank you to Sleighbells. Without her, I would e putting this off for years. She typed 3/4ths of this chapter up for me, anyway. I don't mind writing..I just hate typing.

Anyway! Read on!

_**fffffffffffffff**_

Cloud Strife and Zackary Fair stood in their living room, staring at the official document that the blond had just read out loud.

"So…what does that mean?" Zack asked, regarding the paper warily.

"Okay." Cloud started, raising his hand palms up before lowering them.

"Ready?" Zack nodded with a playful smile. He loved Cloud's unnecessarily lengthy explanations, though sometimes he felt like he should be offended at the simplicity.

"Ready." Zack announced nodding his head for emphasis. Taking a deep breath, Cloud began as though he were speaking to a 12 year old.

"You remember out first year in college, yes? We didn't do so hot, and the dorm room was horrible."

Zack was going to interject that they had _met_ in that horrible dorm room, but thought better of it.

"So the next year, being the mediocre students we are…." Zack broke in with an "Amen!"

"We found a way to get extra credits and free, excellent, _off campus_ housing. The very reason that _we_..." He paused and pointed between Zack and himself before gesturing around their two-bedroom apartment, "live _here_."

"Okay." Zack nodded slowly.

"But what does _that_ have to do with our house?" He asked, picking up the paper from the table. Cloud sighed, almost looking depressed.

"We got all of those benefits because we signed up to house any foreign exchange students if they transferred. Signed up to live with them, help them adjust, manage. We got an apartment off campus so we could more conveniently show them 'American life'…" Cloud walked over and sat on the couch next to Zack, who hand long since opted to relax during his friend's monologues.

"We signed up for it because there hasn't been a foreign Exchange Student at out school in _years_. We thought we had cheated the system…live for free, pass easy…but…"

Cloud flopped his head back on the couch, pulling the paper from Zack's hands.

"There _is_ someone coming to live with us."

The two sat in silence for a moment, allowing everything to sink in.

"So…" Zack started with a grin. "We're going to have someone living with us?"

Cloud looked at his dark haired friend, smiling back softly.

"Yea…"

Over the last several minutes, Cloud had experienced many changing emotions. On one hand, he was upset that it wasn't going to be the same. For the last two years he had lived in this apartment with the best friend he had ever had. For the last two years it had been just Cloud and Zack, and he wasn't sure if he ever wanted that to change.

But on the other hand… Cloud was ready for something new. It wasn't that he was unhappy, that was _far_ from the truth, he just felt like something was missing. Who knew, maybe somehow this new roommate 2ould be good for the pair. Lord knew that their household was lacking in the 'exotic and worldly' department.

It was with this reluctant excitement that he grinned and stood from the couch. Regardless of how they felt, it was happening, and preparations had to be made. Besides, if he was half-keen to the idea, Cloud knew Zack was probably bursting at the seams. One look at Zack's huge smile confirmed his suspicions. He was surprised though when the older boy's smile faltered and looked at Cloud with stern eyes.

"Does this mean we have to clean?" when Cloud nodded and Zack groaned in agony, one thing became apparent to the blond; while cleaning didn't sound fun, he was going to have to step up. If he didn't make sure things got done, _nothing_ would.

"Fine!" Zack mock-snapped, standing from the couch and prodding Cloud with his finger. "But hear this Clean-Queen, I'll clean the toilet until the cows come home, but I _am not_ vacuuming!"

_**ffffffffffffffffffff**_

****

All but collapsing onto the couch in exhaustion, Cloud and Zack looked around, basking in fruits of their labor. They had started cleaning bright and early so they could make the most of their day. Of course, 'bright and early' in any home of Zack's meant 'noonish'. So ever since twelve, the boys had scrubbed, swabbed, dusted, vacuumed, and mopped. They'd used every ounce of willpower in them to actually throw away the 'treasures' they had accumulated over the two years, and though said treasures had served no purpose but to clutter since the day they entered the house. It hurt the pairs hearts to say goodbye. It was now seven p.m., and all the cleaning had taken it's toll on the two limp bodies.

"…Cloud…" Zack muttered the best he could without moving his mouth.

A quiet grunt was his only answer as his friend seemed reluctant to move as well.

"I don't think I can make it to my bed."

It was sad but true. The dark haired male wouldn't have stood from that couch if he found out Waffle house was serving free eggs. And anyone who knew Zackary Fair _knew_ how he loved Waffle House.

Beside him, Zack heard cloud release a breath.

"Me either…" They sat, sprawled out on the couch, in silence, both staring longingly at their bedroom doors before Cloud spoke.

"Screw it. Sleep on the couch."

Zack had no words of protest as the two did their best to squeeze into a laying position on their, clearly _not_ meant for sleeping two, couch.

After feeling Cloud shift for the third time, Zack gave up and rolled onto the floor. What did he care? He could sleep anywhere, plus- he had cleaned this floor, may as well experience it.

Silence reigned for another short while, both trying to pass out but being too tired to sleep, before Zack's voice broke the peace.

"Hey Cloud?"

He was happy that the darkness covered his face, as there was no way he could say this without a horrid grin. He took the undistinguishable gargle as a 'Yes, dear Zack, please; do go on.'

"I just want you to know…"

He knew it. He was already trying not to laugh.

"Well, I know how insecure you are." Cloud's eyes flew open.

"But no matter what- no matter who moves in with us, you'll always be number one in my heart, Cloud."

Cloud grimaced and rolled his now re-closed eyes at Zack's antics. The blond idly wished that he had the energy to throw a pillow at the hyena of a man on the floor, but some things could not be helped. Instead he waited for the laughing to die down before speaking in a dry voice.

"Goodnight Zack."

_**ffffffffffffffffffffffffff**_

****

It was on the third day since receiving the letter that Zack and Cloud began to get antsy. Zack because Cloud wouldn't let him touch anything, for fear of dirtying their perfectly cleaned apartment before the new guy showed up, and Cloud because of Zack.

The letter had been very vague with the student's date of arrival, almost painfully so. It had simply stated that a student would arrive 'soon'. The two found themselves seated at the kitchen table, just as the day before. Ever since waking up on the couch the morning before, Cloud had laid down the law. Neither of them was to touch the sofa, the coffee table, or eat anywhere but over the sink.

All of this left Zack one thing; bored. And a bored Zack was a miserable Zack. And a miserable Zack made for a downright testy Cloud.

"Can we go to Waffle house?" Zack whined out, his eyes pleading as he cradled his stomach. Cloud cut his eyes to the side, regarding Zack coolly.

"We have no money. We spent it all on Clorox and other cleaning stuff."

He motioned his hand towards three bottles of bleach that hadn't even been opened. And that was _after_ Zack had used half a bottle cleaning the toilet. Apparently the man had no concept of 'a little goes a long way'. Remembering this, Cloud glanced at the bathroom door. It had been left closed with a towel jammed under it to block the overpowering scent of Clorox that still overtook the bathroom. It was a miracle that Zack hadn't asphyxiated.

Zack groaned again, happy to make his displeasure known.

"But I'm still starving! Can you make me sandwich?" Zack had lost all kitchen privileges, for now, as he made a mess no matter what he was making.

"I can't Zack. We're poor college kids. We have _no_ foo- _shit!_" The blond jumped up from the table, his hands finding his hair in a remarkable amount of time.

"We have no food! He could show up any day now!" Cloud carried his conniption fit over to the table by the door, grabbing his scarf and door key.

"Hey!" Zack rose, his tone suspicious. "Where are you going?"

"Grocery shopping." Cloud replied, reaching for the door. Zack's face screamed of betrayal.

"You said we didn't have any money!" Zack screeched, hands resting on his slim hips in disbelief. Cloud closed his eyes and turned to Zack.

"Correction- We don't have money to _blow_ on _Waffle House_." He amended, turning back to the door. The dark haired man's eyes widened in shock.

"Waffle house is _not_ a waste of money!" Cloud rolled his eyes, sparing Zack a look as he opened the door and smirked.

"Waffle House is disgusting and their food is shit."

"WAFFLE HOUSE IS NOT SHIT! TAKE IT BACK!" Sadly, Zack's word's only met the thick door of his apartment. Rolling his eyes and grumbling to himself, he decided Cloud's priorities were on longer his concern. Screw that anti-Waffle House bastard. Zack gave a smug grin as he walked to the couch. He was about to plop down when a voice echoed through the door.

"And I swear on Vincent's watery grave that id you _touch_ that couch, Zack, I will wring your neck. I _will _find out!" Zack's jaw dropped before he let out a roar of frustration; how could Cloud do that do him? He _always knew_…and swearing on Vincent's grave was just dirty. Zack looked over to the counter where a water-filled bowl sat.

Vincent has been their pet goldfish; they had gotten him themselves the week they moved into their first crappy dorm together, as a housewarming gift of sorts. Vincent had been a wonderful pet. A little mopey, as far as fish went, but they loved him all the same. He had even made the big move from the shit-dorm to the apartment they were in now.

Then about four months ago, both Cloud and Zack awoke to find Vinny belly up in the bowl. After blaming each other with 'you were supposed to feed him-no you were' they both sobered up and flushed their departed friend. To this day they talked about him like he was still around. They even had a picture of him taped to the wall behind the bowl.

Zack sighed and walked back to the kitchen table. With one last remorseful look at 'Vinny', Zack shook his head.

…It was just a couch--he didn't need it.

_**ffffffffffffffffffffffffff**_

****

Cloud walked down the street as he wondered just how much food their pathetic budget could actually afford. He was behind schedule, as halfway to the grocery mart he remembered having left his ID card with one of the women who worked the desks at the college. He was just leaving the offices, ready to finally get the shopping done, when he spotted a man, but not just any man…no, a drop dead gorgeous man.

He couldn't see his face from here, but he didn't need to. The man was very tall, with impossibly long silver hair that fell to his calves. Cloud would have been content with admiring him all day, but the beautiful stranger turned to face him, and he had a change of heart. That man was still gorgeous-but; on top of that, he was absolutely fucking terrifying. Ignoring the glare, Cloud hastily went on his way. To the grocery store it was!

_**ffffffffffffffffffffffffff**_

****

"Ohh…" the secretary groaned, tempted to scream as Reno Sinclair stepped into her office.

"No, no, no. Not you again. You drive me up the wall!"

The redhead gave a saucy grin as he took a seat in the room. It's not like he had anything better to be doing. He was actually somewhat of an anomaly on campus. He could always be found, but no one knew what he here for. As far as anyone knew, he didn't have any actual classes.

The secretary was about the weigh the odds of pleading when the door to the left opened. Out of it stepped a young brunet who looked about as lost as a blind man holding a Where's Waldo book. In the man's left hand was a keychain and a card with directions, and clutched tightly in the other was a small slip of paper. As he stepped into the office, the door closing behind him, he cast a helpless look back, as though his very life force was left in the room, and for all Reno knew, it was.

"You look a little lost, yo." Reno inclined his head to the shaggy haired brunet before him.

He only received a blank, confused stare as the man looked at the door again, then at the objects in his hands. The secretary shrugged and much to her relief, Reno got up from his seat and approached the man, taking in his fur-lined leather jacket.

"Hey, can I help ya out?"

When he didn't receive an answer, Reno carefully reached out and took the contents of the man's left hand. Studying the name and numbers of the keychain, Reno was pleased to know exactly where the other man needed to go.

"Come on." Reno grabbed the helpless man's arm as he led him from the office, his captive giving one last pathetic look at the door, barely able to mutter a word as he was dragged away.

"…Sephiroth…."

_**ffffffffffffffffffffffffff**_

****

"He couldn't _really_ know…Could he Vin?" Zack asked the deceased fish as he hovered over the couch.

He was debating whether or not to sit when an abrupt knock startled him, causing him to topple forward onto he couch. Zack cursed under his breath as he frantically tried to fix the ruffled sofa before he realized Cloud wouldn't knock. Quickly calming himself and giving a thumbs-up to the empty fish bowl, he answered the door, opening it and immediately wishing he hadn't.

"Got ya somethin" Reno drawled, cockily leaned into the door frame. Zack rolled his eyes and slammed the door- only _then_ responding.

"What would I want from _you_?"

Reno was probably the only person Zack just flat out refused to get along with. No one really knew why, that's just how it was. This, of course, posed a problem as Reno and Cloud were rather close friends.

As Reno and Zack continued their 'through-door' argument, the leather-clad brunet watched on, torn between confusion and horror. Weren't people supposed to...you know..._open_ the door? Now talk through it?

"Just open the door, Zacko. There's a guy out here for ya."

Zack cringed at the name Reno called him, before caving and opening the door. Peering around Reno, Zack saw the most abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous man he had ever seen. He continued to stare as he stepped aside, the brunet hesitating briefly before entering, hoping he wasn't going to be kidnapped. Slamming the door again on the still talking Reno, Zack rounded on the man.

"Hello, Beautiful." He gave his most dazzling smile only to be mildly offended to see the man looking at him in fear for his life.

"Uhh…"

Zack was drawing a blank.

Stalling for a moment he gestured to the couch, happy that he could sit on it, since this guy had finally shown up. After a few moments of trying to look as harmless as possible, Zack finally got the man to sit down.

"I'm Zack." He smiled, sticking his hand out.

The brunet continued to stare, as though he did not understand. Catching on, Zack made a very exaggerated motion towards himself.

"ME- ZACK!" He tried again loudly, the pointed across from him.

"YOU?"

The man seemed to look hesitant, nervous, and doubtful.

"Eh, Squall Leonhart." He spoke with a thick accent that Zack couldn't place, much less understand.

"Uh…What?" He asked, not quite catching what the foreign man had said. Again, the man looked nervous and confused. He really didn't know what was wrong with this guy, he was only guessing that it _was_ his name that this 'Zack' was asking for, though he didn't understand it when he gave it.

"Leon." He tried again, speaking as evenly and clearly as he could.

Leon took it he was understood when Zack beamed at him.

"Well Leon, give me one second! Be right back!"

Leon had no idea what the strange, hyper man had just said, but he was leaving. Thank God. Too bad it was only to the other room…

As soon as the crazy man had left, Leon remembered the paper still clutched in his right hand. Sephiroth had told him not to lose it, that it would help him when he met their roommates.

In the other room, Zack was dialing furiously and waiting for Cloud to answer his cell phone.

"Hello?" He finally answered.

"CLOUD!" Zack screamed, unaware that his friend's hearing would pay for that later.

"Cloud you have to come home _now!_ The hottest man on the _planet_ in on out couch!"

Cloud stammered.

"Uh..I'm almost home…5 minutes….I swear to _God_, if you stain the couch I will _kill_ you!"

As Cloud realized Zack had already hung up, he began running for the apartment.

When Zack reentered the room, Leon was waiting attentively, now seeming more confident that he had Sephiroth's note to pass on. Surely that would clear everything up. \

Seeing Leon's outstretched hand, Zack eagerly reached to accept what was being offered. Unraveling the piece of paper, reading it before his face contorted in absolute confusion.

"Uhhh…"

At this point, Leon was horrified. What in the _hell_ had the note said?! He should have known better than to trust Sephiroth, that bastard! At the moment, a small blond burst into the room screaming something he couldn't understand. He did know one thing, these people horrified him.

"Zack! If you stai-…Oh…" Cloud froze, his gaze settling on the brunet on his couch, Zack was still staring at the note.

"Who's..Uh…this?" Cloud asked, unable to tear his eyes away.

"Said his name's Leon… Came with this…" Zack passed the note over to Cloud, who finally looked away from Leon to the slip. Cloud read the neat writing out loud, confusion settling in as he did.

"Are you my mother?" He read looking up at Zack confused, he shot a look over his shoulder at Vinny's bowl before looking back to Zack who just shrugged, while Leon was torn between anger at not knowing what the note said, and horror at…well, not knowing what the note said.

He was going to kill Sephiroth, that much he did know.

"Uhh…nooo…" Cloud drew out, staring at Leon, trying to keep the whole 'I want to eat you' look out of his eyes and wishing Zack would do the same.

"So…Leon…" Cloud began, pointlessly he soon realized, as the man didn't seem to know English at all. With a stroke of genius Zack decided to use the same technique as he had with his name.

"ME- AMERICA." He said pointing at himself, then at Leon.

"YOU?" Leon seemed to understand, though he was annoyed with the yelling.

"Deutschland."

At the blank stares he was drawing, Leon closed his eyes and tried not to hate himself for what he was about to do- as well as hoping it wasn't taken the wrong way. Then only thing worse than being stuck with two insane men was being stuck with two insane men who wanted to kill you. Swallowing, he rose his right arm in the air.

"….Hail Hitler…."

"OOOOH!!!" Both men almost yelled, finally getting it.

"You're German, then." Cloud muttered.

He was about to ask another question when Zack began dragging Leon away on some sort of deranged, politically incorrect tour of their apartment. Apparently Zack thought that because Leon was foreign, he was also deaf and blind.

"THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM!" He spoke slowly and loudly before moving along, unaware that the man he was pulling along thought he was going to die.

"THIS- BATHROOM!" Leon seemed frustrated that Zack was speaking so loudly, and let him know in the only way he knew how. He screamed back.

"BATHROOM!" Zack froze.

Leon thought he had gotten he point, and didn't realize that Zack was really only thinking that before now the word 'bathroom' had never turned him on.

Fortunately, Cloud knew the look on his friend's face and took Leon's arm and led him away. While Leon was weary of the blond as well, anyone was better than Zack. Zack was a maniac.

"Let's show him the campus for now, Zack."

The older boy seemed happy to comply and they set off for the door, Zack in excitement, Cloud in intrigue, and Leon in mortal terror.

_**fffffffffffffffffffffffffff**_

****

They were luring him to his death, he just knew it.

Leon walked a few feet behind Cloud and Zack, wishing that someone would save him. It was when the two American boys got into another argument of sorts when Leon saw it. He'd seen a flash of silver round a corner ahead of him. It was Sephiroth! He was safe! Sephiroth would make this all better!

Zack didn't know what was going on as suddenly Leon rushed passed him, breaking into a dead run. The two looked absolutely mortified at the prospect of losing their beautiful German in the first hour of knowing him. They took off after him, turning the corner, both their hearts going aflame with jealousy as they saw _their_ Leon grabbing the arm of some man, the same man Cloud had seen earlier, the blond noted.

Leon was rambling in German to the silver haired man frantically about two insane American boys, gesturing to Cloud and Zack as they approached. Regarding the two with mild disinterest as Leon more or less hid behind him, he spoke with a thick German accent.

"So you're za crazy vons?"

That was all it took to make Zack completely forget Leon's name. He'd never been more attracted to another person in his entire life.

Leon began rattling off again, Sephiroth looking at the poor brunet as he recounted his horrible experience.

"Ah." Sephiroth spoke, stopping Leon and turning again to the two before him.

"So vee are staying with yous?" Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

"Wunderbar…"

Both American boys were still glaring in envy, though for different reasons.

Cloud because Leon was hiding behind _this man_ who didn't even respect him enough to hear him out, and Zack because of the attention this _beautiful_ man was giving to _Leon_.

"Wait…" Cloud shook his head. "'Vee'?..." He panicked at Sephiroth's raised brow. "We! I mean 'we'…as in…both of you?"

"Ja." Sephiroth answered, slightly amused at the two idiots before him and the unnerved idtiots behind him.

"Is zis a problem?" he asked.

"NO!" Zack screamed. "Not at all! Hi, I'm Zack!" Sephiroth seemed confused by the outburst and Leon rolled his eyes. He didn't have to understand English to know where Zack's interests were.

"Sephiroth." The silver haired man answered.

Cloud decided it was time to ask something, but was going to be subtle.

"Is this your boyfriend?" he asked, instantly wanting to kill himself; so much for subtle.

Smiling evilly, Sephiroth nothing if not a conniving asshole. Reaching around he pulled Leon to him suggestively ignoring Leon's look of shock and disgust.

"Yes. Vee very happy togezzer."

Both Cloud and Zack's worlds went black before Leon started screaming, ripping himself away. Sephiroth smirked.

"No. Squall is mine…" He paused. "Eh…co…cousin?"

He seemed uncertain and Zack's heart melted. This man was absolutely adorable. Intimidating, but adorable.

He and Cloud were also relived that they were related.

"Eef you don't mind, vere is home?" Sephiroth asked, and both boys snapped to attention. They day was shaping out quite nicely.

_**fffffffffffffff**_

After getting home and another attempted tour (which Cloud stopped because Zack only wanted to show Sephiroth his bedroom). Cloud and Zack noticed that the two Germans looked beat.

"Tired?" Zack asked Leon, who had just yawned for the third time.

"He dos not know Eng-a-lish." Sephiroth answered, stifling a yawn of his own.

"But yes. Vee are."

Though upset that their questions would have to wait, Cloud and Zack knew that the two men were probably suffering jet lag out the wazoo. Zack quickly ran into his room and grabbed a few things.

"There, you guys can crash in my room for tonight. We'll work out the rest tomorrow."

Sephiroth entered the room without a word, Leon watching with wide eyes. Confused, Zack made a sleeping sign with head and hands and pointed to the room.

Leon stared momentarily before understanding, bounding off to the room with a quick

"Danke."

Cloud, meanwhile, was too excited to form words. He knew what 'Danke' meant!

_**ffffffffffffffffffffff**_

Cloud and Zack observed with amazement and some fear that Sephiroth and Leon had not stopped arguing since they both went into Zack's room. The two friends were bunking together tonight and they could hear the Germans easily through the thin wall.

As they lay there, they had no idea that a furious battle for the bed was taking place in the next room. Apparently Sephiroth didn't see any reason why a dog should be allowed on the furniture: Leon not finding this amusing at all.

After about five minutes everything seemed to have quieted down, before Leon remembered a certain note that Sephiroth said was supposed to 'help.'

The two Americans had no idea what was being said, they just knew it wasn't happy.

_**ffffffffffffffffffffffff**_

Cloud sat up instantly as a knee connected with his rib cage, followed quickly be a hand coming over to smother his face.

"Shut! Up!" Cloud looked over through the splayed fingers on his face to see that it was _Zack _attacking him, groaning miserably for him to be quiet.

Blocking the next few kicks and struggles efficiently, Cloud grabbed a pillow to smother Zack with.

"Stop hitting me!"

Zack whined through the fluffy cotton.

"Why won't you stop making noise?!"

The blond was more than a little confused. He knew Zack didn't like to wake up until noon or so, and that he liked to be able do that…but…he hadn't been making any noi-

It was then that he heard loud sounds coming from the living room. It sounded like someone was up and renovating the house. He wasn't sure if the foreign muttering he heard along with it was a comfort or not. At least who ever was doing it wasn't dead?

Cloud flopped back over onto the bed beside his friend, who was now awake, though he wasn't happy about it.

"What do you think they're doing? It's….seven in the morning."

Zack only shrugged in response. They continued to lay listening to the hustling in the next room when a furious growl broke out from another room. You didn't have to speak another language to assume what that tone said. Some form of 'Shut the fuck up, idiot.'

Glancing at each other briefly, both men shot out of bed and into the living room in time to see Leon chuck a hairbrush at Zack's bedroom door.

They were both wondering how Leon could look so perky with so little sleep in his system when the reality of the brunet's action set it.

The bedroom door tore open and Sephiroth came storming out of it, looking every bit the sleep deprived, pissed off man that he was.

Zack didn't know about Cloud, but he thought the guy had the hottest bed head he'd ever seen. Instead of all perfect and straight, it was tangled, and poofy. The first connection in Zack's mind was 'Victoria's Secret Sexy Model Hair.'

Beautiful as me may have been, Sephiroth was absolutely furious to find that some time this morning their bags had been delivered, and that his idiot cousin had opened and ransacked every single one of them.

No scratch that, he had ransacked every one of _his_. Leon's own looked just fine.

Cloud and Zack sat on the couch as they watched the demonic man stalk across the room to the oblivious brunet, silently praying that no one was going to die.

After the first few moments of being hovered over, Leon finally looked up with a smirk at his older cousin, much to the Americans' horror. Standing from Seph's upside down baggage, Leon held out his hand, revealing the note from the day before.

"Are you my mommy" he asked in his heavy accent, the silver-haired man having told him what the note said the night before.

Sephiroth only glared at Leon and the mess he had made.

Cloud and Zack, while mesmerized than Leon had just spoken English, were mortified at what was going to be an obvious and nasty rivalry. Life was either going to be a living hell with these two, or it was going to the best thing that had ever happened to them.

_**fffffffffffffffff**_

"Psssst, Cloud." Zack whispered, trying to get the blond's attention. Cloud looked over to regard Zack, who looked slightly distressed.

"What?" he whispered back.

"I can't remember his name!" Zack said in a strained tone as he pointed to the silver-haired god in their living room who was working very hard to re-organize his luggage. Cloud stared at him momentarily as he realized that he couldn't remember either. The guy had only said it one time, and it's not like he spoke that clearly.

"I don't know…" Cloud answered in an awed voice.

"Wasn't it like…Strudel, or something?" Zack asked, racking his brain.

"Strudel?" Cloud asked, not too sure about that one…It _sounded_ like a German word…

"Ehh, it's close enough…" Zack whispered.

"Hey, Strudel!" he yelled trying to get the brooding man's attention.

Sephiroth turned slowly to stare at Zack in complete shock. Surely he hadn't just called him a dessert…

Leon's overjoyed cackling distracted him for a moment. The brunet had been digging through his own things when he heard Zack refer to his cousin as 'Strudel.' He definitely knew what that word meant and was loving Sephiroth's disbelief.

"Ah? Strudel?" Leon asked in mirth at the other man's expense. Cloud and Zack tried not to laugh at how happy their mistake seemed to make the brunet. It was just _so cute_.

Sephiroth glared at the man before leaving his bags to walk over to the couch. This sobered the two American's instantly. Were Germans big on torture?

"'Sephiroth.'" He said as he reached them. "My name eez 'Sephiroth.'"

Cloud stood quickly.

"All right, Sephiroth. Well, uh…Me and Zack decided that him and I are going to share a room from here on out, and you two can just take his."

Sephiroth seemed to grimace, not liking the thought of rooming with a retard, but nodded anyway.

"Ja. Sounds gute." He then yawned.

"But. Idiot here voke me up, and I's still vant sleep. I am going to bed."

At his cousin's departure, Leon looked uncomfortable. It seemed that while the pair may not get along, Leon still relied on Sephiroth entirely, something that Cloud sympathized with strongly.

When Leon gave a yawn of his own, he looked around and stood up, crossing the room for the door, only to find it locked.

He beat on it before yelling a few things that Zack and Cloud couldn't understand.

"Sorry!" they heard Sephiroth call through the door.

"I zon't understand vat you are saying. Speak Eng-a-lisht, please."

Leon stood fuming, glaring at the door, wanting nothing more than to kill the man inside. What had he even said!?

He was about to beat on the door again when the crazy blond man tapped his shoulder and pointed to another room.

Catching his drift, Leon smiled and nodded, giving Sephiroth's door the finger before walking to the other room and shut the door behind him.

Cloud sat back on the couch smiling like a fool.

"He's in my bed."

Zack smiled lazily as he dropped his head back.

"And _he's_ in mine."

Both men sat in companionable silence, contently imagining their fantasies in their beds.

This went on for a while longer before Zack turned fully to Cloud.

"Will you make me a sandwich?"

**_fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff_**

**A/N:**

Well, there it is. Chapter one, and what a beast it was.

I hope you enjoyed it, and didn't think this was too slow. I promise it will move along better once it gets going, so bear with me, please.

Wunderbar is pronounced 'Voon-da-bah,' if you were wondering. Everyone knows how to say it, just maybe not how it's spelled, haha.

Anyway- please let me know what you think. If you have any questions, if I got confusing, ask away and I will do what I can to clear things up.


	2. Traditional doesn't mean 'Gute'

**Disclaimer**:

Don't own Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts. Or Post-It notes. I own nothing.

**A/N:**

Took me a little while, didn't it? Yea, sorry about that. First of all- If we have any German readers (by some slim chance), I would just like to say that I know nothing about the German language, and any words I do use I have either heard before or got off a translator site, so sorry for any errors/offenses I may have unknowingly committed/wind up committing.

Secondly- I get the feeling some people may take Seph's attitude the wrong way. He's not a bad guy in this story, I swear! He's just not very nice..yet. : ) hahaha. Give him a chance! I love him and his attitude problem, and so should you.

**VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING::::**If the words are in **bold** typeface, they are being spoken in German. We will know what is being said, but Zack and Cloud will not!

----------

Cloud awoke the following morning at his usual time of 7 am. He dressed quickly and quietly to avoid waking Zack, who wasn't due to be up until 11 or so. Honestly, Cloud had no idea how the man could sleep as late as he did everyday. Whenever he tried it, he either ended up feeling groggy all day long or just wound up laying awake for two hours, trying to fall asleep.

Tiptoeing over to the door, he opened it silently and left the room preparing to go about his usual morning ritual of messing around alone until Zack woke up. He didn't have classes until evening, after all. About half way to the kitchen, Cloud smelled something peculiar. Coffee? Strange, he was the one who made coffee. Nothing got done around here if he didn't do it.

As he passed the counter, he shrugged at the empty fish bowl, letting 'Vincent' know that he had no idea what was going on, either.

Entering the kitchen, Cloud was proven correct. Sitting at his kitchen table was a very bored Sephiroth holding a large mug of coffee. While he was happy that he wasn't going to spend the next few hours alone, the blond wasn't exactly sure the man was safe company.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Cloud decided he didn't much care if the towering German was safe or not. The man could make coffee; the man was good. Who knew, maybe now he would have help around the house

"Good morning" he offered in a friendly tone. At first, he was a little put off at the strange look his greeting warranted. Had he done something wrong? Was saying 'Good Morning' bad luck in Germany? Cloud doubted he should be thinking this hard this early in the day.

"Gute morning. Please excuse me, I am not used to any-von else being avake this early."

Cloud smiled and Sephiroth went back to staring at the table, his coffee, then back at the table.

"It's all right. I was pretty surprised myself. I'm usually out here alone for a while. What time do you wake up?"

Cloud had by now poured himself a cup of the steaming beverage and had joined the taller man at the table. He figured he may as well learn about the people he was going to be living with, after all.

"Four-Forty-five."

Running a hand through his hair, the younger man made a face. He woke up early enough in his opinion, he didn't want to think about 5am…Next question.

"So…what exactly are you guys doing here? I mean…why?"

It seemed as though the blond had hit a sore subject for Sephiroth, as the German closed his eyes and placed his mug down before taking a few heavy breaths.

"Vat do you know about foreign exchange programs?" At the silence he received in response, Sephiroth assumed this meant 'nothing', and continued.

Zare are vays to do it. In some cases, you can enter contest. You can write essay explaining vie you vant enter program, und if you win- you go. Very simple."

Cloud was having a particularly difficult time determining just what the man before him was saying. That accent was thicker than molasses.

"Any-vay. Ze idiot entered, und somehow he von za contest. But he didn't enter himself, he entered ze both of us vithout my knowing. Of course, ze dumbass can't speak a syllable of English…"

Sephiroth trailed off and Cloud tried to make sense of what he had just been told. He had to admit, if he found out Zack entered them to go to another country without telling him…well…Zack would probably not survive long enough to collect his winnings.

"So you didn't want to go?" At the look he received, Cloud instantly hated himself for asking. Nothing about the man before him said 'I am happy to be here.'

"Nien."

A few moments of awkward silence passed, and Cloud became increasingly uncomfortable. Not because of the silence, but because Sephiroth appeared to now be in a positively foul mood. He should have never asked why they were here!

He wordlessly excused himself from the kitchen, giving Vincent's bowl a wide-eyed look before passing on back to his room. Zack was going to have to forgive him, but it was time to wake up.

----------

It had taken about 20 minutes of shaking, slapping, and threatening to get Zack out of the bed, but Cloud always was a dedicated individual and had eventually succeeded. The violet eyed man was now sitting up groggily in their bed, trying to convince himself that whatever Cloud had to say was important and that passing out again would be wrong.

"I found out how those two came here."

Zack stared at Cloud for a few moments, willing himself to care just a little bit. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in the origin of the two sexy men in their house, it was...just so _early_. But if he didn't at least sound like he was actively listening, Cloud would get irritated, and that was no good…

"Uh…why?" There you go Zack, that sounded interested!

Cloud didn't buy it, but figured that once he got going, Zack would eventually wake up and pay attention.

" Apparently Leon entered the two of them in an essay contest of some sort, a competition for the foreign exchange program. Well, he won and he dragged Sephiroth over here with him. Let me tell you…Sephiroth is absolutely pissed about it, so I wouldn't bring it up if I were you."

The mention of a certain silver-headed someone seemed to wake Zack up just fine, as he was now grinning and searching for clothes for the day. He seemed to decide that the PJs he was wearing now were good enough and quickly abandoned his search for clothes. Stretching a final time, he motioned for Cloud to follow him.

"Come on, let's go enjoy our morning eye candy. "

Rolling his eyes, the blond complied, following his friend out into the living room.

-----------

How so much had changed since he had gone to his room, Cloud had no idea. In the short amount of time that he had spent waking Zack up, a full blown fight had erupted in the living room.

Obviously Leon had woken up and Sephiroth, in his less than delightful mood, saw fit to vent his frustrations on the poor guy.

Standing wide eyed in the door way, Zack and Cloud just stared as the two Europeans continued to scream at each other in such a manner that they were both suddenly aware why no one just told Adolf Hitler 'No.' Germans were terrifying.

"Um, excuse me?" Cloud was shocked to hear Zack attempt to intervene between the two raging men, and severely hoped that Zack would survive the day.

Both men looked over to Zack, one in annoyance, one in gratitude and confusion.

As Zack went on trying to console the two, Cloud couldn't get over how much he felt for the poor brunet. He couldn't imagine being thrust into a country in which you did not know a word of the language. This reminded him…he should probably tell Zack to stop asking Leon what was going on. Sephiroth beat him to it.

"He doss not know vat you are saying." The taller man said with a disdainful sneer towards his younger cousin. He was tired of these people talking to Leon like he was going to magically understand this time, and he sure as hell was in no mood to play interpreter. Not when he was so pissed off at the man himself. If the moron would have been satisfied to stay where they belonged, and not drag them both to this strange place, he wouldn't _need_ translating.

"He doesn't speak _any_ English, Zack." Cloud spoke up when he saw the curious confusion on his best friend's face.

"_None._" At the complete silence and appearance of deep thought, Cloud was really hoping that Zack wouldn't have the audacity to ask Sephiroth to speak for him, and instead, something worse happened.

Zack smiled.

"I have an idea!" Smiling wider, he ran into Cloud's bedroom once more. When he returned, he was dressed in a decent pair of street clothing, but that wasn't what bothered Cloud. No, it was what was in Zack's hand that disturbed him the most.

"Why do you have my wallet?" Again, that terrible grin.

"You'll see!" Running to the door and waving before disappearing behind it, Zack left the people in the room with varying emotions.

Cloud in horror, since Zack was _not_ to be trusted with their already _pathetic_ amount of cash, Sephiroth in irritation, since he really just plain out did not understand these Americans, and Leon in absolute confusion as to why the man was talking one minute and running away the next.

Shaking his head, Sephiroth looked down at his cousin.

"I hate you."

The look of incomprehension he received in response made him feel much better. He knew that even though the brunet had no idea what he said, Leon knew it was some sort of insult.

----------

It had been hours since Zack had returned with a shopping bag containing an English to German dictionary, a label maker, scotch tape, and enough post-it notes to have killed a small forest.

Since his arrival he had explained his grand plan, which Cloud had surprisingly found to be a very good idea.

Every object in their home now adorned a label or post-it, which read it's name in both English and German. The TV now read both "_Television_" and "_Fernsehen_."

This is how the entire house was. Small objects, such as the remote, or '_entfernt__'_, had labels, while the post-its were reserved for bigger items, like the oven, '_ofen__'_, and toilet- '_t__oilette_'(Zack's favorite so far, as it was the easiest).

Leon was in heaven. He could have kissed Zack and Cloud for this! It was wonderful not having to ask Sephiroth what everything was called. He was also picking up the English words for everything at an amazing rate, something that left Sephiroth quite displeased.

It wasn't that he _enjoyed_ having to answer Leon's stupid questions, quite the contrary. He just didn't like the idea of things working out for his cousin just yet. Couldn't have things to easy for the man, so soon.

He could not conceal his smirk when Leon met his eyes, proudly informing Sephiroth that he was sitting on a "Chair" and not on a 'stuhl.'

"No progress vill be made." He muttered to his cheerfully unaware companion.

As soon as Leon had wandered off to go recite household objects like a brainwashed retard, Sephiroth set about switching some of the less obvious labels. It wasn't like Zack or Cloud would notice unless they looked it up again, which was unlikely. He would switch more later on. He leered about the house evilly, switching the German word for 'bookshelf' (bücherregal) with the translation for 'toothpaste' (zahnpasta). Yes, he would start small for now.

--

It was 7pm and Zack found himself wishing for the hundredth time that these guys came with subtitles. The two Germans had spent the past half an hour mumbling under their breath to one another about God only knew what. Personally, Zack didn't know why they felt the need to whisper, since no one knew what they were saying anyway. He just hoped it wasn't about him.

In the kitchen, Cloud was worrying himself over boiling pots of water and their temperamental oven.

"_Ofen_." He corrected himself internally. "Our temperamental _ofen._"

Cloud didn't want to admit it, but the fact that he was learning even the most mundane words was exciting to him. He had always been a dork. He was torn from admiring his newly formed 'bilingual' ability as the pot on the stove began to boil over.

"Shit!" He worked quickly to clean up the mess before the water could steam up and set off the smoke alarm. The _last_ thing the exchange students needed was a perpetual fear of being burned alive.

"Zack! You wanna come help me?" He knew he was in sorry condition when he was requesting _Zack's_ aid in the kitchen. That boy ruined everything he touched.

"Sorry!" He heard a voice call back to him. "I'm busy entertaining!"

Had Cloud known that Zack's definition of entertain was staring shamelessly while the two men spoke, he may have enfored his request a little stronger.

Back out in the living room, Zack was all but drooling as the two cousins continued to speak to one another, though now they had quit muttering.

"**What is that smell? It's horrible."** Leon asked Sephiroth for what seemed to be the millionth time, and the older boy couldn't even find it in himself to become frustrated with him. It really just smelled _that_ bad.

**"I have no idea…I am not eating whatever it is, though."** Sephiroth turned to regard their audience of one. He did not enjoy being treated like an art exhibit.

"Vat?" He hated speaking English, he really did. If it weren't for the fact that he would no longer be able to talk about them in front of them, he would have given anything for their two new room mates to speak German.

Zack looked startled at being called out, and tried to pretend like he hadn't just been starting at Sephiroth, which only caused the taller man to roll his eyes.

"Vat is zat smell?" Zack decided that his usual response of 'the smell of desire' would not do in this case.

"Me and Cloud decided to make you guys feel welcome and cook some German food! We looked it up online and just kind of picked whatever sounded familiar…you guys eat some weird stuff."

Sephiroth did not look amused, and he had a bad feeling about whatever it was that the boys had cooked.

"**They cooked German food they found online for us. ****To 'welcome' us.**** It's probably sauerkraut."**

Leon looked horrified.

**"I hate sauerkraut."**

**"Me too, cousin. ****Me too."**

Zack was trying very hard to memorize their words so he could look them up later when Cloud called out from the kitchen once more that it was time to eat. Sephiroth said something else to Leon and the two shared a pained look before standing and following Zack into the dining room.

-----------

**"This is so fucking disgusting."** Leon ground out to his cousin around a particularly vile bite of sauerkraut. Purebred German or not, he didn't understand why pickled cabbage would appeal to _anybody. _He forced a smile at Cloud and nodded in false approval. He didn't want the adorable blond to know that this was the worst thing he had ever put in his mouth.

**"Stop eating it." ** Sephiroth had opted not to serve himself any of the foul substance and instead, doubled up on mashed potatoes. The mashed potatoes were wonderful.

**"I'm trying to be nice, unlike _you_, you bastard….is that supposed to be bratwurst? Please tell me it isn't…" **Both of them tried to restrain a cringe as they looked at the over-cooked, over-stuffed sausages on their plates.

"How is everything?" Zack had to ask, he had watched the two take several bites of everything, each time commenting to one another. Leon had a pretty good idea what was being asked, and decided to be truthful. What could it hurt? As long as it looked like he was saying something nice, they would never know!

**"This is the worst thing I have ever tasted. I am trying not to vomit up my insides. You are very cute, Cloud, but if you ever cook sauerkraut for me again I will strangle you."** He finished off his rant-in-disguise with a very warm smile at their two hosts, ignoring the look he was receiving from his cousin.

"What did he say?" Cloud asked Sephiroth, hoping that everything was pleasant for their guests.

Sephiroth gave Leon another look as the brunet managed to finish off his last bite of the cabbage, looking pleased to finally be through. One more bite and he very well may have thrown up. Sephiroth smirked.

"He said it was vunderful and dut he vould like another serving, please." Sephiroth took extreme joy at the look in Leon's eyes as Cloud happily served the boy another spoonful. Looking away from his glaring cousin, Sephiroth settled his gaze once more on the two Americans.

"Aren't you going to haff some?" His grin only widened at the look the two boys shared with one another as they nervously studied the bowl in front of them.

"Um…sure." Zack started, a little more than unsure of himself. "What about you? Don't you want some, too?"

"Oh, no danke. I can not eat sauerkraut. I am allergic to…" there was a pause and his eyes shifted. "…_such foods_."

"…Oh…I'm sorry. Guess I should have asked if you guys were allergic to anything." Cloud sounded suspicious and he hesitantly served himself and Zack, and fear quickly replacing suspicion. Did he really want to eat this? Because he had read the recipe… and he didn't like the sound of this.

Zack apparently had no qualms, not to mention zero knowledge to what sauerkraut actually was, and spooned up a humongous mound of the acidic greens, intent on impressing Sephiroth with his willingness to try out his culture.

All intentions were cast aside, however, as his tongue touched the intruding food and he flung it back onto his plate, shoving himself from the table and entering an immediate coughing fit. Sephiroth looked amused as Leon used the momentary distraction to hastily ladle is own food back into the serving dish.

Cloud was trying to help Zack keep from suffocating as he was silently thankful that he hadn't gotten a chance to taste his own cooking. He now understood why Sephiroth was 'allergic' to 'such foods.' He briefly wondered if Leon was going to be okay after eating as much as he had before Zack's high pitched agony took his attention.

"Cloud! What the hell is that?! Are you fucking trying to poison us all?!"

Cloud tried to force down him embarrassment, suddenly grateful that Leon could not understand English and that Sephiroth didn't make a habit of translating for him. These feelings were quickly dashed, though, as he heard Sephiroth mutter something that caused Leon to laugh.

"Zack, what did you think sauerkraut was? It's fermented cabbage…"

Zack froze from his hacking to stare at Cloud in disbelief.

"You served us rotten food?! I thought it was some kind of fish or something! Jesus H. Christ, Cloud!"

The blond rolled his eyes, no longer feeling guilty. Zack was the one who chose the recipe, he could have taken the time to actually check what it was.

"Whatever, this dinner was a failure. I'll go get dessert."

At the word 'dessert,' Sephiroth perked up considerably, causing Leon to stare curiously at his older cousin.

"Vee haff dessert?"

"Yep! How do you say dessert in German?" Cloud answered and asked at once, hoping to inform Leon that something good was coming after possibly feeding him straight poison.

"Nachtisch."

Cloud looked thoughtful as he went towards the kitchen and Leon regarded his cousin skeptically.

**"Please don't embarrass me. _Try_ to contain yourself."**

Sephiroth ignored his cousin's words as Cloud reentered the dining area holding a large cake. German chocolate cake, to be exact. Cloud had been cooking that baby all day, he'd be damned if at least ONE thing wasn't going to taste good.

It wasn't until the cake was set down that Sephiroth's spirits dropped and Leon cackled like a maniac.

Atop of the cake was something that Sephiroth actually _was_ allergic to. He glared at Leon's antics as the brunet served himself a much larger piece than he probably cared for. He wasn't eating for taste anymore, the saukraut had made sure of that. He probably wouldn't be able to taste anything for a week. All he knew was that Sephiroth had one hell of a sweet tooth and he couldn't eat any of this.

"I can not eat coconut…" The crestfallen man informed his hosts.

Next to him, Leon was eating his cake like it was the best damn thing he had ever eaten, groaning his appreciation. Cloud and Zack watched in rapture as Leon continued to moan exotically around the cake. The blond wondered idly if he would now have a hard-on every time he passed the cake isle in WalMart.

**"****Mmmmm****…Such a good cake.**** You should have some! I have never had anything so chocolaty before. Oh, you can't! Sorry. Here, I'll eat it for you."**

Sephiroth was going insane. He wanted to murder his cousin. Leon was doing this on purpose, there was no doubt in his mind. Well you know what? He was not going to win this.

Staring at Leon as he grabbed a napkin and swiped his plate clean in one fluid motion, Sephiroth reached forward and cut himself an absolutely massive piece of the chocolate cake. Allergies be damned, this was going to be worth every bit of misery he would experience.

As he began to cram the cake into his mouth, Leon looked on in concern.

**"Should you be doing that? I didn't mean****.."**

His concern quickly turned into determination of Sephiroth continued to eat the cake like he hadn't eaten anything in years. It wasn't long before it was an all out competition.

Cloud and Zack watched on in mystified horror as the two men made short work of the entire cake. Though he looked ill, Sephiroth smirked as he finished his last bite, successfully out-eating his younger cousin, who was now staring at him with worry in his eyes once more.

**"Maybe you shouldn't have done that****.."**

Sephiroth shook his head proudly.

**"Nonsense.**** I feel fine. Perhaps I am no longer allergic to…"**

It was then that Sephiroth's stomach dropped and he felt as though he had been backed over with a semi-truck. Pulling himself up on unsteady feet, Sephiroth slowly began to make his way to the bathroom, stopping now and then to steady himself.

Cloud and Zack stared at each other before looking at Leon. The brunet stared back at them, trying to relay to them what was going on. He tried many times to explain the situation, but since the two boys did not understand him, things were not going his way.

In a last ditch effort, Leon stood from the table and place one hand on his stomach, and bending over, used his other hand to motion in front of his mouth as if vomiting.

"Ooooohh……." The boys seemed to finally understand.

It had taken a little while, but Leon was grateful he had not had to make the retching noises to get his point across. Who knew sign language could be so helpful? That was the good thing about hands. They did the same thing, no matter where you were from.

-----------

It had taken about an hour for Sephiroth to extract himself from around the toilet. He had no idea how many times he had thrown up, just that he never wanted to do so again. Never again would be baited into competition with Leon, especially if allergies were involved. Honestly, what had he been thinking? He knew better than that.

Upon joining the rest of the house in the living room, he was immediately caught off guard as Leon spoke to him. In English.

"Hey, Ugly." Sephiroth was not the only one who was in shock. Cloud and Zack were amazed as well, though amazement quickly turned to panic when they realized exactly what Leon had just said. Did he know what that meant? The fact that he was grinning smugly and holding the dictionary said that he did.

Sephiroth continued to stare at his cousin in disbelief, getting angrier by the second as Leon continued to smile at him.

"Vat did you say?"

Again, Leon did not need to understand English to know what was being asked to him.

"Ugly."

Closing his eyes and regaining his composure, Sephiroth gave a shaky sigh as he walked into his bedroom. He emerged moments later with Leon's entire suitcase and quickly crossed the room, opening the front door and dumping its contents into the hallway.

Leon stared at Sephiroth hatefully and said a word which, coincidentally, was the same in both languages.

"Bastard."

He only received a smirk in response. Glaring for a few more seconds, he stalked into the doorway and began to violently shove everything back into his suitcase. Sephiroth continued to stare down at Leon's back a moment longer before easing himself onto the end of the couch, far enough away from Cloud and Zack to satisfy him. He still felt like shit from eating coconut.

"Are you all right? You look like you're pretty sick."

He creaked open his eyes to see Zack looking at him with concern, noticing too late that both Zack and Cloud moved to stare behind him. He was about to turn and see what they were looking at with such an expression when something pounced on him and began smothering his face.

It was Leon. And he was holding a pair of his underwear. Sephiroth had Leon's underwear on. his. face. He had never been so pissed off in his entire life and if he had, he was currently to angry to recall it.

Leon gave a startled yelp as he was shoved onto the floor and Sephiroth stood up from the couch with murder in his eyes. Leon wouldn't lie, he was scared. He was about to get the shit beat out of him. He was considering just begging for mercy when, suddenly, Sephiroth froze, all of the color draining out of his face.

"Seph?" Leon asked cautiously, still untrusting of his cousin, but worried all the same.

All he received in response was a raised index finger as the man padded off to the bathroom to empty his guts into the toilet once more.

Leon flinched at the sound, feeling overwhelmed with guilt for baiting Sephiroth into eating that cake. He was going to apologize when he came back, but Seph spoke first, though he couldn't understand.

"I am going to bed." When Sephiroth had closed himself into the bedroom, Leon looked over at Zack and Cloud. Cloud looked guilty as well. Probably because he had cooked the cake the begin with. Leon wished he had the ability to reassure the blond that it wasn't his fault. He'd be damned if this language barrier wasn't driving him crazy.

"I hope he's okay…" Zack trailed off, still staring at the bedroom door. "Maybe I should go check on him."

Leon regarded the darker haired man in horror as he made to go towards Seph's room.

The brunet quickly jumped in front of Zack, blocking his path as he shook his head frantically, trying to convince him not to go in there. Sephiroth would not appreciate it, and Leon was growing to like these two. They had gone out of their way to label everything in their house for him. The least he could do was keep them alive.

He was saved from further convincing by a knock at the door.

"Cloud, honey! Are you home?" A sweet voice called out. Leon noticed Zack's pout at the voice.

"That's the neighbor, Ms. Barbara. She hates me…" he informed the brunet. Leon did not understand, but proceeded to nod anyway.

"She doesn't hate you, Zack." Cloud tossed over his shoulder as he opened the door to greet the elderly woman on the other side.

"Hi, Ms. Barbara!" The blond greeted her warmly. He didn't know why the old woman liked him so much, but she did. And she cooked food for him about 3 days a week, and he couldn't argue with that. Something about wanting to fatten him up or something.

Zack chimed in happily.

"Hello, Ms. Barbara!" She looked at him with disdain in her eyes and her voice took on an exasperated tone.

"Hello, Zack…"

Leon tried to hold in the laugh at Zack's sigh for being so obviously shot down.

"My! Who is this! He is simply adorable!"

To Leon's horror, the old woman was making her way steadily over to him. To his side, Zack instantly backed off, obviously intent of getting out of the woman's way.

"That's Leon." Cloud answered, giving a guilty smile to Zack who was mouthing to him 'I told you she hates me.'

"He is an exchange student from Germany, he doesn't speak any English though. He just got here a few days ago."

Leon tried to back up but he was already against the door. The woman was smiling at him and rambling on about…something. It was a little frightening. Looking over her shoulder, he noticed Zack motioning to him in a way that suggested yawning. He was confused, but he did as he was told and let loose a large yawn, complete with the usual unnecessary yawn noises.

"Aw, the sweetheart looks tired! I just dropped by to tell you boys that I cooked up some casserole for you. I'll go get it real quick and I will let you dears get to sleep…" she cut her eyes over to the side. "And Zack, too."

Zack's shoulders slumped as the woman walked out of the apartment, Cloud following after her to get the meal. While the food would be good (they hadn't eaten anything since that awful dinner), he was happy to have the old devil out of his house.

Cloud returned a few moments later with a tin of corn casserole, setting it down on the table.

"She hates me!" Zack threw his hands in the air as he walked over to get a plate. While she hated him, he would continue to eat her food. She wouldn't dare poison it, she loved Cloud too much.

Cloud shook his head.

"She does not hate you, Zack." He began serving them plates of food. He offered one towards Leon, who shook his head 'no'. He was chocked full of cake.

"What do you think, Leon? Does she hate me?" Leon stared blankly at Zack, who was trying to nod his head without being noticed. Taking the hint, Leon when with it and just nodded his head as well.

It was then that his eyes fell on to the phone and something came to him. They hadn't called their parents yet, or rather, Sephiroth's parents; Leon's aunt and uncle, like they had sworn. Thank God that English or German--numbers all looked the same.

Quickly grabbing and dialing the phone, Leon sat on the couch and waited for an answer.

-----------

After an hour of listening to his aunt fawn over him, he finally hung up. She had asked him a million questions, given him a lot of useless advice, and, of course: asked if Sephiroth was being nice to him. He had told her Seph was asleep already, conveniently leaving out all the…nauseas, chocolaty details.

By the time he had gotten off the phone, Cloud was a nervous wreck. Did no one else seem to notice how expensive international calls were? Holy hell, it was around $3 A MINUTE. They were broke as it was; now they were just going to go bankrupt. He was all for talking to your family, but…they were screwed.

"Hey, Cloud? You all right?" He nodded to Zack, sighing heavily. He needed to think about something else. What better for numbing the mind than school? They would have to go back soon, after all…They had been given a few days off of class to get Sephiroth and Leon settled; the week to be exact, and when they returned to school, the two exchange students would start, too.

"I'm fine. Hey, we should get their schedules figured out, while I'm thinking about it."

Zack looked unsure.

"You sure now's a good time? Seph looked pretty sick, I doubt he is in the mood to work on his schedule, let alone interpret for Leon's. Maybe we should wait until tomorrow morning."

Zack did have an excellent point. It was 10pm, and he was tired now that he thought about it.

"I'm going to go to bed, you tired?" Zack shook his head.

"Nah. I'm gonna watch TV for a little while."

Cloud nodded and looked to Leon, smiling and giving a wave before pointing to himself and to the bedroom. Leon grinned and waved back, not really sure why they were waving.

Cloud went into his room and Zack plopped down onto the couch with Leon. When he reached for the remote, Leon smiled widely and proudly proclaimed "Remote."

Chuckling, Zack nodded and flicked on the TV, almost having a heart attack when Leon shouted something and pointed at the screen.

Someone left the TV on the History Channel, and they were playing a special on World War II.

Leon was pretty sure he had never been so happy to see a Nazi flag in his entire life. While he hated it, at least he knew what it was!

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END CHAPTER!

Whew! This thing took a two days to pump out! Not to mention causing me to neglect my other responsibilities...Like updated Friends/Foes/Fatuous, or F-Cubed as it is so lovingly refered to as...

I would like to say a big thank you to all those who reviewed on my first chapter and I hope you continue to do so. The feedback keeps/makes me happy : )

Next chapter we may see some more exciting things, hopefully. I haven't outlined it yet, so I'm not exactly sure, haha. Again- A big thank you to Sleighbells for helping me figure this whole thing out. I would be lost with out her.

Thanks for reading!


	3. Hallo, Mein Name ist

_**Disclaimer**_: yada-yada. You know the drill... I know it has been a while since my last update, but in that time I most definitely did not require any rights to anything I mention in this story. I don't own FFVII/KH or any of their respective characters. I do own Florida, though! Haha, no… You can keep yucky old Florida. 10/1/07

_**Author's Note:**_

I am so sorry! This chapter was SO not supposed to take this long! I promised (kinda) that this chapter would be out before the end of last month…and here we are approaching the end of the next one. : ( Sorry guys. Don't give up on me! It just took me a little while to get back into the writing mood.

I want to say a SUPER thank you to all of you who have reviewed so far. I have never gotten such a good review per chapter ratio before! It makes me very happy. I would also like to give the mega-est, most special thanks to** Sarehptar** for being SO gosh dang helpful. Seriously, that girl is a God-send. Much love goes out to her, as this story would fail if not for her wonderful tips and such. Lastly and as always- Thanks to **Sleighbells** for being such a wonderful co-worker here. We all know I would be nowhere if not for her aid. Who am I kidding, sometime she just straight up does things _for_ me. : )

**----------**

It was only 11 am and already all hell was breaking loose. The two Foreign Exchange boys were, once again, going at it while an intrigued Cloud and Zack looked on in more than just mild amusement.

"Oh! I recognized that word!" Zack broke in excitedly and Cloud looked away from the two feuding boys.

"Really? What do you think it means?"

At Cloud's inquiry, Zack only gave a helpless shrug.

"I dunno, but I have heard it about five times now, mostly from Strudel there." He said, pointing towards Sephiroth, who had just dodged a pencil that Leon had aimed for his head.

"Hmmm…" Cloud's curiosity was getting the better of him as he glanced towards the middle of the room near the coffee table.

"If you think you can spell it, I'll go get the dictionary."

Zack looked up as well to see that the book in question was currently right next to Leon, who was already searching for another soon-to-be projectile object. The older of the two nodded solemnly.

"I will be able to spell it enough to look it up."

The blond took a deep breath, wondering just why he was willing to risk his life for a word that Zack had probably only _thought_ he had recognized. He tossed a quick look at Vincent's fishbowl for luck before he gave a nervous glance in Sephiroth's direction. The silver-haired man was pacing behind the couch, waving his arms occasionally in frustration as Leon continued to ramble on about something.

Seesh! If they had known that working out the boys schedules would have lead to this, he and Zack would have chosen their classes _for_ them. Oh well. At least the book was by Leon. He now seemed at least somewhat calm for the moment. Apparently he had just won whatever little squabble had just taken place. Mentally, Cloud cheered at Leon's victory.

He was brought back to the physical world when he felt Zack's hand on his shoulder, causing him to turn around. Zack's face bore an expression of wisdom far beyond his years.

"Good luck, Soldier. I will tell the others of your bravery."

Rolling his eyes, the blond shrugged the hand off of his shoulder and smiled, preparing to give a cheesy line of his own. Ducking his head and looking around conspiratorially, Cloud lowered his voice.

"I'm going in."

By the time Cloud had made his way to Leon's side he noticed a distinct change in atmosphere. The brunet was looking up at him blankly while Sephiroth now had a slight smirk and was giving his cousin a '_look_'.

Feeling a tad like prey, Cloud quickly leaned past Leon and grabbed the dictionary. He offered a quick smile before tottering back over to the "safe-side" of the room. Fortunately for Leon, Cloud seemed to have missed the light blush that had crept over his features. Sephiroth, however, had not, and was already muttering things that the brunet was grateful he couldn't hear.

The scarred man gave his older cousin one final glare( for good measure) before looking curiously after the dictionary stealing blond who had waltzed away as quickly as he had come.

Reaching his waiting friend, Cloud happily plopped down on one of the stools by the counter, handing the book over to Zack as he tossed a quick smile at the empty fish bowl in front of him. He mouthed a silent "Hi Vincent" before turning to watch Zack eagerly flipping through the pages. The older boy seemed to finally settle on a page, continuing to stare at it in concentration before a slow smile spread to take over his face. Cloud tried to be patient as he watched Zack continue to smile at the dictionary entry in front him, hoping that Zack remembered that he was supposed to actually _share_ his findings.

He was about to badger the boy about it when Zack glanced up from the open book with a sly look in his eyes.

"Crush."

Cloud's eyes widened as Zack smile became positively evil.

"The word they keep saying is 'crush'…" Suddenly his face split into a goofy grin.

"Someone has a crush on someone!" Zack looked like he was on the verge of dancing in his mirth.

Cloud didn't look so sure.

"How do you know it's _that_ kind of crush, Zack?" The more level-headed of the two questioned.

"What if they meant, like…'I'm going to crush your head' crush? I mean…look who said it."

Cloud turned to eye Sephiroth, who he alarmingly found to no longer be in sight. Ducking his head to look beneath the shelves over the counter he could see the man in question mulling around in the kitchen.

Zack only rolled his eyes, already forming the most outrageous scenarios possible.

"Maybe Leon has a huge crush on _you_! But he is afraid that you have a crush on _me!_ Because I am pretty sexy... But then wait! Seph has a crush on Leon, his own cousin!…then there's me. I have an unrequited love for our elderly neighbor, whom of which has vowed to never love again."

Cloud watched as Sephiroth stared at the two of them from his spot before the refrigerator, a look of pure disgust etched across his features. It seemed like Zack was always forgetting that Sephiroth could speak English, which was ironic, as he constantly forgot that Leon _couldn't._

"Zack, please don't imply incest when they can hear you…and _why_ would you like Ms. Barbara?" Cloud mumbled as he gave up and laid his head down on his crossed arms.

"He _can_ understand you, you know."

"Of course he can!" Zack chirped, clearly undeterred and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Everyone can understand the language of _lo__oo__ve_."

Cloud sighed miserably at the complex idiocy that was his best friend. Half the time he believed Zack only said what he said to keep himself entertained. At least that was what he was hoping.

He listened with his head down as Zack continued to talk about this and that, until he heard conversation start up on the other side of the room. Picking his head up, Cloud watched as Sephiroth and Leon exchanged words, giving no sign that they had been on the verge of killing each other just moments before. He eyed the dictionary before shaking his head, deciding that he couldn't look anything up fast enough to know what was going on.

"**I'm going to go down to the school and turn in the rest of our paper work. Are you sure that these are the classes that you want?"**

Leon looked up to regard his older cousin from the television he had yet to turn on.

**"Ja, that's fine." **The brunet paused momentarily.

**"Do you even know how to get there? You can't get lost. I'll starve to death if you disappear, you know that, right?"**

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, pretending that that wasn't a serious question.

**"It's a school. It can't be too hard to find. I'll just walk around until I see it. I'll see you when I get back.."**

He didn't make it three steps from the door before he was bombarded with questions.

"Where are you going?" Zack was already up and crossing the room by the time he finished the question.

"I am going to the school. I haff to turn in ze papervork."

Zack cocked his head, a confused expression crossing his face.

"Do you even know how to get there?"

Fighting the sense of annoying déjà vu, Sephiroth took a deep breath and closed his eyes, already dreading where this was going. His dread seemed well warranted when he opened his eyes to see Zack smiling sweetly at him.

"I'll go with you! I know where you're going , and I can't have you getting lost out there. Some one might snatch you up."

Sighing, Sephiroth turned to Leon.

**"It would seem that his idio****t is going to escort me to the school**** I suppose it's for the best, so that I can be sure to turn these into the correct department; I wouldn't want to crush your precious 'American Dream'****"**

Leon ignored the sarcasm and smiled a little before giving his cousin a different kind of grin.

**"You know he likes you, right? That's so cute."**

**"No he doesn't. He's just an idiot."**

"See!" Sephiroth could hear a laughing whisper from behind him. "They said that word again. It must be so hard to love your own family that way."

Torn between rolling his eyes and throwing up, the silver haired man settled for another option entirely.

Quickly crossing the room, Sephiroth bent down to Leon's level and nuzzled against his face before giving a coy look and brushing past Zack through the door.

"HOLY SHIT!"

The three of them remained silent in their shock for a few moments before Zack realized himself and gave a quick wave and darted out of the apartment after the silver-haired psychopath, leaving Cloud and Leon to continue staring in disbelief.

Nothing could properly explain what Leon was feeling. Where in the hell had _that_ come from?! Never in his life had Seph ever even bumped into him without complaining, and now this?! Obviously he was missing something. That, or Sephiroth had gotten a hold of some contraband when no one was looking. Whatever the cause, Leon was going to do some serious ass-kicking when his enigmatic cousin returned home.

Cloud, while still mildly perturbed, had a pretty good idea as to what was going on. Sephiroth had probably gotten fed-up with Zack's comments and gone with something drastic to shut him up. The blond sighed. He had tried to warn Zack not to talk about his batty, off the wall stories when Sephiroth was within ear shot, but Zack just never listened. And now look what happened. Poor Leon was probably going to need psychiatric help.

He eyed the brunet, who was still seated on the couch, staring at the door that the two less-stable men in the house had just left through. Silently, Cloud prayed for all of those who would have the misfortune of running into those two while they were out.

Still eyeing Leon, the blond slowly made his way to the couch. However awkward it may be, he was secretly thrilled that he was going to get to spend some one on one time with his current interest. By now, Leon was watching him as he joined him on the sofa. The brunet opened his mouth as if to speak before averting his eyes and setting his jaw.

The two men sat quietly as the time dragged on, each of them wanting so badly to break the horrible silence but not being able to do anything about it. Cloud took a deep breath, giving Leon a hard look.

"I wish to God you could understand me. This would be so much easier."

The tone and facial expression, paired with the current situation, were fairly easy to read, and though Leon could not understand the words, per say, he had a pretty good idea what Cloud had said, and he couldn't agree more.

In truth, Leon was in the middle of an inner-debate. He had taken a few English classes before, and while he couldn't _speak_ it to save his life, he was able to write enough to get his point across. It was just a matter of pride, at this point, as it had been quite sometime and he did not wish to completely humiliate himself if he were rustier that he thought. Glancing at the adorable, sullen looking blond on the couch next to him, the argument was pretty much over. Who cared if he made a fool of himself? That kid was adorable. It was worth it.

Standing abruptly and gaining Cloud's attention, Leon held up one finger, since the 'hold on' finger was pretty much universal. Quickly locating the pencil he had launched at his cousin earlier that morning and a note pad from the coffee table, Leon sat back down, though this time closer to Cloud. This definitely got the blond's attention.

Cloud watched in fascination as Leon repeatedly held the pencil to the paper before laying it down and staring at the blank page, biting his lip in thought. This action was repeated several times before the brunet, racking his memory, finally scribbled something down. Looking over it for a moment longer, Leon passed the paper to Cloud, who looked anxious.

The words were simple and they reminded Cloud of his high school Spanish class, where he wouls struggle to say two words that made sense, but could write you pointless sentences all day long.

_"My name is Leon."_

Leon watched in fascination as Cloud's face fell into a wonderful smile, shoulders hunching slightly as he released a quick breath of laughter. He wasn't happy with the sentence he had written, but he figured it was best to start small. His eyes widened as he felt Cloud take the pencil from his hands to respond with his own note. Trying to keep it simple and correct, the blond smiled as he began a conversation.

"_My name is Cloud. I am__ 21 years old."_

Again, the paper was passed.

_"I am 22."_

The two continued passing the notepad back and forth, each learning about the other in the only way they knew how. It was exciting for both of them, probably more so than they would like to admit. As the notes went on, slowly Cloud would use different, bigger words, some that Leon would understand and some that he wouldn't. There was one note in particular that grabbed Cloud's attention, after he had written the phrase "_I am hungry."_

_"Can I take you to eat?"_

Cloud's heart sped up as he read the words again and again, feeling like a school girl who just received a 'check yes or no' note from her long time crush. He felt stupid, too, since he knew he was probably reading too much into it. Sure it _sounded_ like Leon was asking him out, but it was probably the only way the guy knew how to respond to a comment on hunger. Still though, he couldn't help but feel slightly giddy at the thought.

Cloud took the note pad, looking at it and biting his lip once more, unaware that Leon couldn't look away from him when he did that.

_"I have no money._" Next to the words, he drew a little sad face, complete with a little tear drop. Again, he felt stupid, especially since the flirting was probably one sided, but he couldn't help himself.

_"I have __money__. 1 Euro $1.37 after changed._"

It took Cloud a little bit to understand that one, finally settling that "after changed" meant after currency exchange. Okay, so they had money. He took a moment to eye the happy smiley that Leon had drawn next to his words as a smile touched his own face. Pocketing the pencil and the notepad, Cloud stood from the couch and gestured to the door.

"After you, babe."

What was wrong with a little shameless flirting? It's not like Leon knew what he'd said, anyway. Grinning, Leon left the room and shuffled around for his wallet and joining Cloud at the door.

**"After you, babe."**

What was wrong with a little shameless flirting? It's not like Cloud knew what he'd said, anyway.

**----------**

As the two walked down the street, Cloud could not tear his eyes from Leon. The man seemed so interested in everything. From the signs to the people to the cars on the road, Leon seemed to be absorbing everything like a sponge. Actually, now that Cloud thought about it, he pretty much looked like every other tourist who came to Florida, so he fit in quite well. Just Leon had, thankfully, better choice in clothing that the usual tourist did.

The blond watched as Leon froze suddenly, obviously very taken with something before him. Trying to figure out what had gathered the brunet's attention so wholly, Cloud looked around in vain, unable to find anything that interesting. Moving to stand closely to Leon, Cloud rested a hand on the other man's shoulder, giving him a questioning look when he turned to face him.

"Palm tree." Leon said simply with a smile.

At first Cloud thought he was going to faint. He wasn't actually sure what surprised him more, the fact that Leon had said something in English or that what he _had_ known how to say was something as random as 'Palm tree.' Deciding that beggars couldn't be choosers, Cloud smiled and nodded, continuing to stare at Leon as the brunet went back to looking at the trees. He decided it was unnecessary to burst the man's bubble by telling him that palm trees weren't actually native to Florida, but since Leon wouldn't' have understood it didn't really matter anyway.

All that mattered was that the man next to him was so enraptured by something as simple as, in Cloud's opinion, ugly, decorative vegetation. Apparently German's had a thing for palms. Who knew?

Grinning, Cloud got an idea as he reached for the notepad in his back pocket.

When Leon responded to the tap on his shoulder, he was met with a piece of paper a being held in front of his face.

_"Want to touch it?"_

After having to almost physically drag Leon away from the trees (and drawing somewhat of a crowd in the process), Cloud finally led them inside of one of his favorite cafes. It wasn't so much of a café, really, as it was a coffee stop in one of the town's larger book stores, but hey, what could you expect from Pensacola, Florida? As far as he knew, there wasn't an actual 'café' in the entire city, save for downtown, but Cloud didn't enjoy the thought of eating so close to the sewage treatment plant.

Walking up to the coffee line, Cloud was about to go through great lengths to find out what Leon would like to eat when he noticed that, somehow, between here and the science-fiction section, he had lost his beautiful companion. He was about to hijack one of the loudspeakers and sound the alert when he saw a familiar, shaggy head pop up momentarily near the "World Travel" section before ducking back down.

Deciding that, after the cake episode from the other night, Leon liked chocolate, he ordered a few chocolate cookies and paid before gathering the food and making his way over to the brunet.

Finally coming around the row of shelves, Cloud was met with the sight of Leon sitting Indian style on the floor, a large book laid open in his lap. From what he could see, it was a book on Germany. Smiling at the scene before him, Cloud plopped down next to the other man, who looked up at him briefly before flipping to a page with a map on it. Pointing at one of the outlined areas in the Southern part of Germany, Leon looked up at Cloud with a neutral expression.

**"This is where we are from, Sephiroth and I. We live right…"** he paused **"here." **Cloud could only sit in silence as Leon whispered to him things he could not understand. He whispered to him these beautiful things that he could not understand but would gladly listen to for as long as the other cared to talk.

**"Then we moved over to…"** the brunet paused once more from his whispering as he dragged his finger north. **"to here for a while."**

Cloud was absolutely mesmerized. The way that Leon's lips moved as these words passed lightly from them, the way his finger slid gently across the glossy page of the book, all of these things stirred up feelings in him that he didn't understand. He felt warmth surround him as a soft, peaceful smile passed over Leon's face as he closed the book and placed it delicately back on the shelf, seemingly happy to have shared something with Cloud, somehow confident that he had been understood despite the language barrier.

Standing and stretching, the two of them removed themselves from the floor and made for the door, somehow deciding in an unspoken agreement to eat back at home. They both noticed with a certain amount of pleasure that they were walking much closer together now than they had been before.

**-----------**

They made it back to the house far sooner than Leon would have liked, as he had enjoyed walking and occasionally rubbing shoulders with the blond next to him. But, he supposed all good things must eventually come to and end.

Fighting with his stubborn lock, Cloud finally managed to ram the key into the door and unlock it, pushing it open and entering. Throwing his keys down on the door-side table, Cloud looked up to notice that they had been beaten home.

From where he was standing, he could see Zack's spiky head of black hair over the back of the couch. Thoroughly expecting crude questions as to where he and Leon had been off to, he was surprised to find that Zack had yet to even turn around, let alone ask a question.

Looking to Leon, Cloud pointed a thumb in Zack's direction and made an angry face before making a questioning one, to which the brunet could only shrug. How should he know if Zack was in a bad mood or not? All he knew about that guy was that he was fucking crazy and that he very clearly had the hots for his older cousin, and while Sephiroth had no disputes about the raven-haired mans mental instability, he did deny that the man felt anything for him. Leon found this both amusingly naïve and annoyingly stubborn.

He was torn from dissecting Sephiroth's possible love-life-in-denial when he saw Cloud take a few cautions steps around the couch.

"Zack? Are you okay? You're awfully quiet…" Cloud eased down next to his friend who was currently staring straight ahead with his arms crossed, a displeased frown on his face.

"…Zack?" Cloud tried again, this time successful in getting Zack to look at him. The blond cringed inwardly at the grumpy look on Zack's face. The man rarely ever succumbed to the usual angers in life, but when he did it wasn't pretty, though it was generally a fleeting emotion with him.

Zack stared at his friend somberly when he heard laughter ring out from the other room. This instantly worsened his mood and he looked back at the wall. Cloud sighed next to him and stood from the couch, curious to see why there was laughter and voices in the other room, knowing it must be directly involve in his friend's foul mood. Apparently Leon was curious as well, as he joined Cloud in walking to the doorway of their room. The blond was planning to knock, but Leon seemed content to simply barge in.

Inside of the room sat Sephiroth and another person that Cloud was familiar with. It was Zexion, a young, petite boy who had shared a few classes with him in the past. It wasn't until Leon spoke that things started to make sense.

**"Who is that? You find some hungry homeless kid on the street?" **

Leon, being used to Sephiroth being the only one to understand him, had never been to worried about talking about people in front of them. He was awfully surprised when it was Zexion who answered instead in perfectly articulated German.

**"You must be Leon. No, I am not some homeless child. I am a German major here at the school and Sephiroth invited me over. It is nice to meet you."**

Leon was pissed. He didn't even know why, but he was. That was _their_ special thing here! He was supposed to be the only one who could speak their native tongue with Sephiroth! If there was someone else Seph could talk to, would he eventually chose them over him? Glaring coldly at the purple haired youth, Leon stormed from the doorway and took a seat on the couch next to Zack, joining him in his brewing jealousy, though for different reasons.

Upon sitting down, Zack turned his head to regard Leon.

"Can you believe that little jackass? Suddenly he's hot shit because he can speak German, and _he's_ getting invited over." It was an overall pathetic, petulant tone, and Leon was more than happy to join in on the immature attitude.

**"Bastard"**

Zack grinned at the brunet, nodding his head.

"I know that word. Bastard is right, my friend."

"What is your problem?!" It was Cloud this time, leaning over the couch from behind him.

"What is so wrong with Zexion coming over? It must be nice for Sephiroth to be able to _talk_ talk to someone who isn't related to him."

Upon being met with only blank stares, Cloud rolled his eyes and turned to Zexion, who had heard Zack's little rant and was now seeing his way to the door. Torn between apologizing to the guy and looking good for Leon, Cloud settled on both.

"Hey Zexion." The blond called out in a snippy voice and placing a hand on his hip, making Leon smirk. After all, it was a classic "about to tell someone off" stance.

"I am really sorry about how rude these two idiots are." He said it in an angry voice and with an displeased expression, which Zexion found to be rather confusing.

"Leon doesn't know what I am saying, so just pretend to look offended, if you don't mind." At that, Zack jumped up from his seat, since he _did_ know what was going on.

"You're consorting with the enemy!"

The blond rolled his eyes.

"Shut up Zack. And Zexion, again, I am really sorry. I'd really like to do lunch sometime if you are free."

The smaller man put on a mock offended expression, trying to hide an amused smile at how Cloud's tone conflicted with his actual words. He had always liked Cloud, he made for good, intelligent conversation, which was getting so difficult to find these days, which was probably why he had enjoyed talking to Sephiroth today.

"That would be great."

With that he turned up his nose and walked through the door, making sure to slam it on his way out for Cloud's benefit.

As soon as the door closed, Cloud rounded with the intention of chewing out the two miserable assholes currently sitting on his couch, only to find that they were no longer there. In the 3 seconds that Cloud had seen Zexion to the door, Leon and Zack had run to Sephiroth's bedroom. Cloud could see Zack leaning in the doorway while he could hear Leon's voice carrying through the house.

**"Who is he? What did you talk about? His accent was horrible."**

Sephiroth rolled his eyes as Leon continued to ramble out pointless comments and drill him with questions in hopes of feeding his insecurities.

**"He already told you who he was. I was trying to find the office and I was very fortunate to bump into him, as he proved to be quite helpful. Is my darling cousin jealous? Isn't that sad."**

Leon took his turn to roll his eyes and collapsed on the bed. Sephiroth stood with the intention of leaving the room, only to find that Zack wasn't yielding.

"So who was that kid?"

Horribly annoyed at being asked the same question in a matter of seconds, he decided to just answer and be done with it. He was not in the mood to be bantered for hours on end, which he would not put passed the man standing before him.

"You vere zere ven he showed up. You know who he is. He is ze only reason ve found ze office."

Zack stared suspiciously at the taller man for a few moments longer.

"What did you guys talk about? He didn't ask you out, did he? Because I bet I could catch him on the stairs and beat his ass if I left right now."

Sephiroth gave him a ridiculous look, wondering if he was actually being genuine or not.

"Vell you have nossing to vorry about. Vee talked about Germany und stupid, jealous room mates."

Zack seemed to accept this answer, completely disregarding the blatant insult. He finally smiled and moved out of the way, letting Sephiroth walk through the door before following him out into the living room where Cloud was already seated.

"So!" Zack chirped as he made sure to sit just a little too close to Sephiroth.

"What do you guys want to do?"

Cloud shrugged as he scooted over and made room on the couch for Leon, who had just shuffled out of the bedroom. Zack was all too happy to slide closer to Sephiroth to make room, as well.

"Anyone want to watch a movie?"

Sephiroth tilted his head to the side, seemingly interested, which thrilled Zack.

"Vich von?"

"I don't know…I guess we can just look through all of the movie boxes and which ever one actually has German subtitles—"

"Deustch." Sephiroth corrected, holding up a finger.

Zack nodded slowly as he smiled and gestured toward Leon.

"Whichever one has _Deustch_ subtitles for Scruffy here will obviously be the winner."

"Scruffy?" Cloud and Sephiroth both restated the ridiculous name in unison, neither sure they even wanting to know where Zack had some up with that one. Zack only shrugged and reluctantly gave up his spot next to Sephiroth to reach for the crate of movies.

Dragging the box back over to the couch, they began shifting through all of the movies, finally finding one that had what they were looking for and popping it in.

Halfway through, the movie revealed itself to be absolutely horrible and with subtitles about at useful as brail to an amputee.

The comically incorrect subtitles were enough to keep Sephiroth entertained, while Leon had given up and passed out with in the first 20 minutes of being utterly lost. Cloud found the movie to be incredibly stupid, but was able to cope with that, as Leon wound up draped halfway over him in his sleep. The only person who seemed to be enjoying the movie was Zack, but Zack managed to enjoy most things, and being shoulder to shoulder with his current love interest hadn't hurt. Especially when Sephiroth felt generous enough to share the occasional over-the-top mistake between the subtitles and the actual dialog.

Zack grinned and sighed.

"It's awesome having a bilingual boyfriend."

Sephiroth and Cloud gave him pained looks.

"Und vere did you get zis idea?"

Zack pretended to look innocent and Cloud tried not to smile.

"You mean you aren't bilingual?"

Cloud snorted and continued to smile as he went back to staring at the movie, which thankfully had just begun rolling the credits.

"Vell. Zat vas terrible. Danke for za lovely evening." Sephiroth remarked sarcastically before standing stiffly from the couch.

Zack looked up at him from the couch.

"You going to bed, sweetie-pie?"

Sephiroth grimaced and began walking for his bedroom.

"Stop calling me by those stupid names."

With that he closed the bedroom door, and Cloud fought the urge to release the very immature "Oooooh, rejected!" that was welling up in his through and just dying to be released.

"Don't say it." Zack said as he turned to look at his best friend. Cloud wasn't sure how Zack always knew, but he did. Zack's eyes then dropped to Leon, who's head had fallen into Cloud's lap.

"Oooo, look at you! Mr. Romeo, aren't we?"

Cloud turned a light shade of red at Zack's teasing, figuring that he wouldn't' be able to get the night over with without getting made fun of.

"So what did you guys to today?"

Cloud smiled at the question.

"Turns out, he can write in English if he thinks about it, so we spent a long time passing notes. He asked if he could by me lunch and we went to the book store coffee place. Then he pulled out a book and we sat and he showed me where he lived, I think. Oh, and we saw these palm tree--"

"You make me sick."

Cloud laughed as Zack rolled his eyes and flopped back on the couch.

"It's not fair. You're getting all romantic-sicky-lovey-mush-mush over there, and all I'm getting is blown off. And not in the good way."

Smiling, the blond reached around the man in his lap and laid a hand on Zack's shoulder.

"Don't worry Zack. Just follow your heart and one day, love will come to you. You just have to show him how amazing you are."

"Cloud?"

"Yea?"

"Shut up."

---------

When morning came, Cloud was reminded yet again that he was no longer the first person to wake up anymore. Walking in to the kitchen he was greeted by Sephiroth, who was seated at the table staring down into a cup of coffee. At least he assumed it was coffee by the smell, the actual beverage itself looked the color of light khaki pants. Apparently the guy used a _lot_ creamer.

"You know," Cloud began, stifling a yawn as he pulled himself a chair and sat down. "You could just make a milkshake or something. That way, you know, the _coffee_ doesn't taint the vanilla taste."

Sephiroth's shoulders rose in a halfhearted shrug as he lifted the mug to his lips and took a sip.

"There is… no ice cream."

The blond gave a puzzled look.

"Yes there is, I bought some the day you guys got here. Two boxes, actually." He stood and went to inspect the freezer, only to find that there was, indeed, no ice cream to be found. Cloud gave a surprised 'hmph.' Before sitting back down. He supposed he would have to have a talk with Zack about controlling himself, though he had never known the guy to clear two boxes in a week.

The two continued to sit in silence; Sephiroth taking the occasional leisurely sip and Cloud mentally going through his list of things to do. It was definitely time to do laundry. You could always tell it was time to wash your clothes when Zack resorted to stealing your underwear because he had none.

The blond sighed. He hated laundry day. If you wanted to beat the crowd, you had to go early. To go early meant to go alone, as Zack was never awake, and to go alone was a lot of work—not to mention dead boring. Eyeing the seemingly calm man before him, Cloud weighed the pros and cons of asking for his assistance. The best that could happen is he said yes, the worst that could happen was..Well he get offended and unleashed the wrath of God upon him.

Upon remembering the already formidable size of their clothes pile, and that there was now twice as much laundry to tote nearly two blocks to the Laundromat, the blond decided to go for it.

"Hey Sephiroth? You wanna help me do the laundry?"

The silver haired man looked up at him from around his mug before setting it done on the table top.

"Okay."

------------------------------

Cloud decided he could get used to this.

He was sitting on the bench next to the washing machine while Sephiroth loaded the damp clothing into the drier. They had agreed to switch off, taking turns on loads, something that was entirely new to Cloud. He had never had any sort of regular help around the house and this was definitely a welcomed change.

Over the course of their time that morning, he and Sephiroth had agreed to share all of the household duties, other than laundry. The two of them would take turns cooking dinner, the weekly vacuuming, washing dishes and the like. The two of them sort of thought of themselves as mothers for their respective little "human pets" as they had jokingly labeled Zack and Leon; Cute to look at and great for company, but a hazard to the day to day chore list.

It was relieving to get to spend some time with Sephiroth and establish a comfortable acquaintance with the older man. Cloud did not particularly enjoy the thought of living with someone he knew nothing about, and the fact that this man was related to Leon made it a plus.

-----------

When Zack awakened to someone shaking his shoulders roughly, he wondered idly just when the last time he had been allowed to sleep in properly had been. Groaning his disapproval, he cracked open an eye to see a frowning Leon hovering above him.

"Eh, good morning." Sitting up to work the sleepy haze out of his body, Zack stretched and stared at Leon.

"Gute Morgen." Zack grinned at Leon's response. It pleased him that English and German were actually so similar. Shaking his head and running a hand through his hair, he stood and followed Leon from the room. Apparently Leon had a purpose, other wise he wouldn't' have bothered to wake up.

Upon entering the living room, Zack immediately noticed something…amiss.

"Where's Cloud? And Sephiroth?"

Leon only shook his head and Zack pouted. What did Cloud think he was doing, running off with his man?! He grinned. He could play that game. Recalling a tidbit of information that Cloud had gotten out before being shushed the night before, Zack pried the dry erase board off of the bedroom door.

_"Who needs them?"_

Leon smirked at the crudely written note, agreeing internally. If Seph and Cloud could disappear to God only knows where, then they may as well use this time to get to know one another as well. Besides, over the last few days, Leon had truly grown to enjoy Zack's boisterous behavior. It was so different compared to what he was used to.

Plucking the marker from the board, Leon returned the message.

_"What will we do?"_

Zack stared down at the question on the board a moment longer. Honestly, he was at a loss. They had no money, no car, and no real form of communication other than written method. Both boys sat, deep in thoughts, when they heard the distinct jingling of numerous keys from the outside hallway. Leon looked up curiously and noticed Zack's excited expression. Reaching for the board quickly, Zack began scribbling.

_"That is the apartment floor's janitor. Come on, I thought of what we can do."_

Leon was nervous but excited as the two stood from the couch. He had a bad feeling about what Zack had in store for them, though he was excited at the same time. He got the impression that Zack probably didn't play by the usual rules.

Zack silently crossed the room and cracked open the front door and peeked out before turning to Leon and motioning for him to join him.

Upon reaching the raven haired man, Leon looked out of the cracked door to see a rather strange sight. A little ways down the hallway, standing before an open vending machine, stood the single skinniest human being that the brunet had ever seen. The stick of a man had the most flamingly red hair he had come across, which reminded him of the talkative boy who had guided him to this apartment in the first place. This man bore a dark blue, full-body jumpsuit with a large ring of keys clipped one an empty belt loop.

As the redhead turned away from the open vender, Leon heard Zack shift beside him. Zack put a finger to his lips as he motioned for Leon to be silent before soundlessly slipping out of the apartment. Leon watched with wide eyes as the stealthy man made his way down the hall towards the vending machine. The redhead still had his back turned as Zack quickly stole a can of soda and bolted back to the room. Running into the apartment and slamming the door, Zack instantly began to release the laughter he had been trying so hard to contain. Leon couldn't believe his eyes. This man was outrageous. It was only when he noticed Zack's expectant look that discomfort began to fall over him. Surely he wasn't expected to do the same thing…

Leon pointed a finger at his own chest and gave a questioning look, to which Zack grinned and nodded, making a shooing motion towards the door. The brunet tried to bit back the thrilling feeling of what he was, stupidly, about to attempt. He swore to God, if he got deported for stealing a can of soda he was going to kill himself. Zack bit his tongue to contain his excitement as Leon reopened the door. This time the hallway was empty. The redheaded janitor was missing, but the vending machine remained open. Pushing back suspicious thoughts, Leon wasted no time as he quickly sprinted down the hallway, careful to make no noise with each step.

He was just about to reach and snag a can of soda when a voice startled him.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Freezing, Leon looked up to see the redhead leaned up against the other side of the machine, regarding him with a skeptical expression. Shit. Yep, he was going to go to jail and get shipped back to Germany, where all his friends would tease him for stealing something that costs 50 cents. Or at least that's what he was imagining when Zack made his way down the hall, instantly causing the redheads expression to change into a lazy smile.

"He with you?" To the question, Zack nodded and rested an arm upon Leon's shoulder."Yep! He's the exchange student. We have two of them, actually. Cloud's out with the other one and didn't bother to tell us. So now we are out seeking cheap thrills, hoping to have a good time to make the other two jealous."

The redhead snorted and crossed his arms, regarding Leon with a mellow expression.

"Hey kid, the name's Axel. You're damned lucky; you've got the best freakin' janitor on this side of the state swabbing on your floors."

Zack chuckled as Leon regarded Axel with amusement. You didn't have to understand Axel to enjoy his personality. Grinning, he leaned down and snagged a few more cans of soda while Axel pretended not to notice, much to Leon's interest.

"So yea, it's just the two of us hanging out. You wanna come over for a while?"

Axel cast his eyes down one end of the hallway and then the other.

"Hell yea man, just don't tell the other people on the floor. They might get jealous."

"You mean you might get fired."

"That, too."

------

* * *

When Cloud and Sephiroth trudged through the door of the apartment dragging four bags of laundry, they were met with a surprising scene. They could hear the laughter even from the hallway, but seeing it was another thing entirely. 

Out on the balcony, Cloud, Leon, and Axel stood leaning over the railing as they screamed various commands through choked and uncontrollable laughter. It was obvious that the three were having quite a time.

Sephiroth cast Cloud a confused look, to which Cloud could only shake his head.

"The redhead is Axel. He is the janitor of this floor…we fed him once, and now we're stuck with him."

Cloud smiled as he watched the sight before him. Setting down the laundry, the two men made their way over to the balcony to see what was so interesting to cause such a commotion.

Sliding the glass door open, the noise level grew to an unanticipated height. They were defitiely getting a noise complaint, Cloud thought wearily.

"Go! Go! No, you stupid bastard! The other way!" Axel waved his arms about as he continued to yell before snatching a few cheetos and tossing them off the balcony.

Zack laughed maniacally as they continued to watch something that Cloud and Sephiroth could not see.

Joining the insane bunch at the railing, the two fair-skinned men glanced down to see several ducks, each of them chasing mindlessly after the cheetos that the men above were tossing.

**"What in the fuck are you doing?"**

The deep voice pulled Leon out of his joyful concentration as he turned to his cousin, a goofy smile in place.

**"Racing ducks.**

Sephiroth remained silent as he continued to stare at the brunet.

**"Excuse me?"**

Leon smiled.

**"We each picked a duck, and who ever can get theirs to touch the sidewalk first wins. We were trying to lure them with Cheetos, but the wind keeps blowing them farther into the water. I won three times now."**

Sephiroth regarded Leon for a few moments longer before hanging his head in shame and walking back into the house, the brunet wandering after him.

After a few more insults at the expense of the ducks, Axel and Zack decided to stop wasting the Cheetos on idiotic birds and just call it even. It was only then that Zack noticed Cloud had returned. After working very hard to wipe the smile off his face, he managed to fake a scowl, placing a hand on his hip.

"And where do you think you went today? With _my_ man?"

Axel gave a mock-gasp as Cloud rolled his eyes.

"To wash your underwear. What in the hell were you teaching _mine?_"

"Um…the relaxing benefits of bird watching." Zack averted his eyes before smirking and changing the subject. 

"It's nice to see that you two were out doing the chores while us men went to work. You two will make fine wives for Leon and I someday."

It took Axel several minutes and a pair of special janitor-issue pliers to remove the cheeto that had been jammed in Zack's nose. God, he loved these people. He'd have to start hanging out here more often.

* * *

Okay okay, Yea. Sorry again that it took so long, and sorry again about the lack of events in this chapter. This was more of a "Get Cloud and Leon closer" type of deal. If it makes you feel any better, this chapter originally ended at _"Cloud?" "Yea?" "Shut up."_But I felt guilty so I added 4 more pages worth of filler chapter : )

All right! That's all for now! Thanks again for all the reviews you have all been so gracious with (I feel no shame in being a review-monger). So please keep it up and let me know how your feeling about this! Thanks for reading. Also, if you have any requests/suggestions over certain situations that you would like to see the boys in, let me know, as I am hurting for random events in this story. No promises that I'll be able to work 'em in, but we'll see! Besides, after this whole thing is over and done with, we're thinking about compiling a bunch of random situational drabbles for this AU scenario. Think of it as a bonus chapter/blooper run.


	4. All is Fair

Disclaimer:  
Don't own Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts/any of their characters, Bisquick, Frosted Flakes, Popsicles, Comet, Dial, Pictionary, Barbie, scrunchies, Volkswagen or the Beetle, The Fair and ANY of its rides, Nemo, or the Mason-Dixon Line.

A/N:  
All right boys and girls, this ones a bigg'un. I mean really….My goal was to get this out ON Halloween, so you will have to forgive me for being late. Maybe the size will make up for it. Hopefully you're still in the spirit enough to enjoy it properly. Anyway. There's a lot of things going on during this chapter, so if you like the abnormal length of this …Don't get used to it. I would explode if I had to write this much every time (I don't know how the author of Seph's Guide Love/Deception can do it. Amazing story, by the way). I just had to jam a lot so I could get Halloween in, getting the holiday's on track and setting the stage for a romance-filled holiday season : ) haha. Anyway, hope you like it.

Chapter Four  
"Okay, so how many do you want?" Cloud asked with one hand on his hip, the other holding an obscenely sized box of Bisquick as he studied its measurements.  
"Four, eight, fourteen, or the whole box?"

Sephiroth looked up from his bowl of Frosted Flakes, swallowing the spoonful currently in his mouth.  
"Whole box."

The blond froze slightly, regarding the other man skeptically. Surely he was kidding. Nobody used the whole box at once, the only reason they included that set of directions on the box was to feed trivia-buffs.  
"You want the whole thing? You don't even want to think about it?"

Sephiroth paused as well, lowering his spoon to rest in his bowl and settling his gaze on Cloud thoughtfully.  
"How much does von box make?"

Cloud double-checked the back of the yellow box, an eyebrow rising as he did so.  
"One hundred and fifty-five."

Sephiroth lifted his spoon as he resumed eating his second or third (Cloud hadn't been counting) bowl of cereal, swallowing again before answering.  
"Whole box."

The blond's eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped.  
"You can't be serious."  
Cloud stared at Sephiroth, waiting for the man to smirk, or laugh, or something to signify humor. Nothing came, only those inhuman green eyes staring blankly at him.

"But, but…" Cloud began to stammer, his voice cracking and wavering, growing higher in pitch as he protested helplessly.  
"That's over a hundred pancakes! If you rounded them, they would be two hundred! Most people get full after eating three or four!"  
At the lack of reaction, the blond turned to the yellow box for support.   
"It says here that to use the whole box it would take eighteen eggs and three quarts of milk. That's more eggs or milk than I can consume in a month!"

Sephiroth continued to stare at the sputtering blond, seemingly unaffected by the disbelieving arguments. Cloud's shoulders sagged.  
"Well, we only have a little bit of milk left in the fridge, and I know for a fact that those eggs aren't safe to eat…let me see if we have any money to run down to the grocery store…"

Shaking his head, the blond gave the still-eating Sephiroth a disturbed look before leaving the kitchen to find his wallet. God, he didn't want to make a hundred and fifty-five pancakes. Last time it took him twenty minutes to make ten of them, and even then he swore he would never cook that many again. Picking up the rather abused wallet, he prayed for the first time that he would find it as empty as it usually was. He really didn't want to make that many pancakes. He heard a few noises from the kitchen as he opened the wallet to see that they were, indeed, still dead broke.

Sighing a breath of relief, he returned to the kitchen to see that Sephiroth had gotten himself a rather large drink, presumably milk as the empty container sat next to him, as well as a few slices of bread. Cloud had no idea how the man could eat two bowls of cereal, bread, milk, and still want pancakes. It was unnatural.

"We don't have any money to buy anything with, so I guess pancakes are-" Cloud stilled as he picked up the pancake mix box to return it to the cabinet, only to notice a significant change in weight.

"This box is empty." Cloud deadpanned, stating the obvious and now eyeing the silver-haired man in suspicion. Sephiroth, however, paid him no mind as he dipped a piece of bread into his drink before eating it, following the bite with a hefty sip from his cup. As Sephiroth pulled another swig and dipped more bread into it, the blond noticed that what ever was in that glass was awfully thick, and didn't drip like milk was supposed to.

Cloud's eyes fell upon the empty milk jug on the table, and then to the box in his hands. Surely he wouldn't…  
"What are you drink—" he was cut off as Leon stumbled into the kitchen, releasing a massive yawn.

"Guten Morgen" the brunet mumbled, plopping down at the table and eyeing his cousin sleepily before reaching over and taking his drink.

"**You won't like it."**  
Leon picked up the empty milk jug with his free hand and shook it, rolling his eyes as he brought the cup to his lips.  
**"I like milk."  
**Taking a big gulp from his cousin's drink, Leon suddenly shot up from the table, coughing and sputtering as he dropped the cup against the table. As it hit the wooden surface, thick, lightly-colored and more than slightly-chunky liquid spewed all over it.  
Cloud almost gagged as he looked at it and realization dawned on him. Sephiroth had mixed up half a box of pancake mix and milk, and was drinking it. Jesus Christ, he needed to leave the room. His stomach turned. Oh yes, he really needed to leave the room now.

"**What the fuck is wrong with you?!" **Leon had just recovered from his hacking fit and now the anger was setting in.  
**"I can drink what I want. Besides, I told you, you wouldn't like it."** Sephiroth wasn't even looking at the brunet; instead he was staring longingly at the mess on the table, debating whether or not it was actually worth scraping back into the cup for later consumption. He was saved from his dilemma as a howling flash burst into the room, shocking all of its occupants.

"GUESS WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY!" It was Zack, and the man seemed positively giddy as he was unable to stop bouncing. Cloud was just glad for a distraction.

"We're going to go to—Uuuh! What is that?" The raven haired man halted his excited rambling as he caught sight of the bubbling mess on the kitchen table.  
"Sephiroth was…drinking pancake mix." Cloud answered, placing the back on his hand against his mouth and concentrated on not getting sick at the thought of it. Zack's face curled in both intrigue and disgust before shaking his head and resuming his excitement.

"Anyway, guess where we're going today!"  
Cloud stared blankly at his best friend while Leon watched in revulsion as Sephiroth went about mopping up his batter mess. Seeing that no one was going to bother guessing, Zack took it upon himself to inform his less-than interested audience.

"We're going to the fair!"  
That certainly got Cloud's attention.   
"What?"

Zack smiled a sheepishly at the blond, already sensing the upcoming battle.  
"Come on, Cloud, you do this to me every year. You always say you never want to go, we spend forever arguing, and we always go, and you always end up having a good time."

Cloud rolled his eyes.  
"This is different, Zack. We can't afford the fair, especially not with four people this time."  
The older boy made his best kicked-puppy look.  
"But Clooooud! I have to go to the fair! It's in my name, Cloud! Do you think I'm Zack Fair for no reason? It's destiny! And you don't fuck with destiny, Cloud! Fate is nobody's bitch."

The blond sighed. It was like this every year. Each time the fair rolled into town Zack would want to go, he would argue with him, and he would lose, and every year it seemed like Zack's arguments got more and more ridiculous. Why Cloud always fell for it, he would never know.

"We have no money, Zack…"  
No sooner had the words left his mouth had he been seized around the shoulder by a friendly arm.  
"I had a feeling you would say that, actually."  
Cloud looked over to see Zack's infamous shit-eating grin. Oh God, nothing good was coming out of this.

"So you see" the elder started. "I was thinking. In this house reside four very, very attractive men." He paused to gesture to himself. "Myself included."  
Cloud snorted. Wonderful, Zack was planning to exploit their bodies. That was just great.  
"I'm not going to hook, Zack. And neither are they."

The raven haired man chuckled, closing his eyes in mirth.  
"No, silly, we're going to have a car wash."

"A car wa-" Beginning his protest, Cloud froze, closing his mouth. That actually didn't sound like a bad idea. Seeing a chance open on his friend's face, Zack dove in.

"See, I figure there are lots of kids and adults alike around here that have a million other things they would rather be doing than washing their own cars. And who better to do it for them than four good looking guys? I mean just look at those two, Cloud!" Zack pointed a finger at the two Germans. Seph had finished cleaning his mess, and was sucking on a Popsicle as he and Leon watched the two Americans in interest, Sephiroth translating occasionally for this younger cousin, who would in turn nod dismissively.

"Tell me one person on this earth that wouldn't pay good money to have those two wet, soapy, and barely dressed, washing their car.

"Anyone south of the Mason-Dixon line?"  
Zack pursed his lips and dropped his head. Apparently sarcasm hadn't been what he was looking for.  
"Look at them."

Leveling his gaze on the two in question, Cloud tried to honestly think of at least one person, he really did, but after a long deliberation he just couldn't come up with anything. Even his own mother would pay to see that, shamed as he was to say it. His mother had actually flirted with Zack before, to his horror. The blond brought a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and tried to force exasperation into his voice.  
"How much do you think we could get away with per car? Five dollars?"

Zack grinned.  
"I was thinking twenty bucks a car and thirty for trucks."  
"Who in the hell is going to pay that much for a carwash?"  
The dark haired man shook his head and sighed.  
"Okay. Ten for cars, fifteen for trucks, happy? But no lower. It'll work, I promise."

"I don't know…" Cloud still didn't look totally convinced.   
"Stop worrying, Cloud. Hey, Seph?"

The silver-haired man looked up from around his Popsicle, causing Zack's eyes to linger at his mouth for a tad longer than necessary.  
"Would you mind washing a few cars so we can make some money?"

Sephiroth thought about those eggs and milk Cloud had said they couldn't afford.  
"Dat's fine vith us." He answered, not bothering to actually ask Leon.  
"Though vee don't have ze proper clozing."

"Not a problem! Me and Cloud have extra pairs, I'm sure they'll fit."  
He turned toward his room and looked back at Sephiroth, motioning for him to follow.  
"Come vith me." He said it in his best German accent, much to Cloud's horror. The last thing they needed to do was offend these two with Zack appearing to make fun of them.Instead of the blank stare he had been expecting, Zack was thrilled to be rewarded with light-hearted laughter from Sephiroth and a grin from Leon. Shaking his head and not bothering to suppress his smile, Sephiroth trailed off after Zack to his room, inclining his head for Leon to come along as well.  
Still slightly shocked that Sephiroth appeared to be in a good mood, Cloud grinned to himself and followed the rest of them. Maybe this carwash would be fun.

"So what do you think about these?"  
Cloud entered the room just in time to see Sephiroth and Leon's eyes grow three times in size as Zack held up a small pair of black underwear, stretching it with his fingers hooked in the waistband.  
"Put those down!" Cloud yelped, flustered as he snatched the tiny pair of undergarments from his friend's hands, causing Sephiroth to raise a curious brow.  
Cloud huffed indignantly.  
"I don't wear them. They're for emergencies; if I run out of my regular ones."

Sephiroth smirked and muttered something to Leon, jerking a snicker from the brunet and causing Cloud to blush. Zack grinned and went back to digging through the drawer.  
"Stop pouting, Cloud…What about these?"

He produced a pair of black swimming trunks to Sephiroth, who accepted them before looking them over, not seeming to find anything directly wrong with them. As the taller man left to go try them on the in the bathroom, Zack nodded his head, quite proud of himself.

"All right…now for you. I'm saying you have hips more Cloud's size, so we'll dig through his things some more."  
Cloud glared, still embarrassed.  
"No, thank you. I will find him a pair myself."  
Zack smiled and stepped aside, holding his arms out to showcase the dresser to the blond.  
"By all means, be insecure about your undies."

Cloud ignored him as he began searching through his things, finally pulling out a pair of blue shorts and holding them up for Leon's inspection.

"Zese are fine." Sephiroth called from the door, causing Cloud, Leon, and Zack to look up, only for the latter to absolutely lose his mind. Sephiroth stood in the doorway in nothing but the low-hanging pair of swimming trunks he had been given to try on.

"Whoa…" Zack stated, and Cloud only nodded. 'Whoa' was right. Sephiroth stood with his shoulders slightly hunched and his arms crossed over his muscled chest, his hair pushed back over his shoulders, giving perfect view of a tight stomach and sharp hip bones.  
"I mean…Whoa." The raven-haired man continued to stare at the gorgeous creature in his doorway.  
"So ten bucks a car…I don't think there will be any problem." The blond said, still eyeing Sephiroth as Leon glared at his older cousin for stealing his Cloud's attention.

"Zock?"  
As the word left Sephiroth's mouth, Zack cocked his head.   
"'Sock?'...Okaay..." He tried to rummage through his drawer without looking away. His hands finally found a rolled up pair of socks and he held them out, confused at Sephiroth's baffled expression.  
"What, wrong color?" he asked, finally coming out of his trance and taking a few steps towards the taller man.

"Not sock, you; Zock." He rolled his eyes as Zack's face displayed recognition.  
"Oh! "Zack!" Okay" Zack laughed as he repeated it the way Sephiroth had said it a few times.  
"Sock, huh? I like it. I mean, it sounds stupid when I say it, but it's pretty sexy when you do it."

"**Are you done showing off now?"** Leon interrupted, walking up to glare up at his cousin. Sephiroth only smirked.  
**"It's not my fault that I was born with better genes."**  
Leon's lip curled in annoyance as he stocked down the hallway with his swimming shorts in hand, only to return in record time to stand next to his cousin. He looked Sephiroth up and down before viewing his own toned, bronzed body. Now it was his turn to smirk.  
**"When's the last time you saw the sun, Seph? It hurts my eyes to even look at you."**

Sephiroth frowned as he held out his arm to rest against Leon's shoulder, eyeing the extreme color contrast. Zack and Cloud tried to with hold a laugh at the scene before them. Leon chuckled.

"**We're going to have to wear sunglasses around you outside. And don't stand against any white walls, we'll lose you."  
**Sephiroth glared at his cousin's teasing before a thought crossed his mind. He turned to Zack with wide, mock-innocent eyes, causing the man's breath to catch in his throat.

"Zock…" Cloud had never seen Zack completely focus on one thing in his life, but with one, pouting word, Sephiroth had the man's full, undivided attention.  
"Does it hurt to look at me?"  
Zack looked absolutely appalled.  
"No way, baby!" he cooed, moving to lay a hand on Sephiroth's arm. "If it will make you feel any better, I'll look at you aaalllll day..."  
Sephiroth smiled sourly at Leon. Zack narrowed his eyes at brunet and pointed a finger.   
"Don't go filling his head with lies. He's beautiful."

As the raven haired man continued fussing over Sephiroth, Leon smirked and shrugged, not really caring about whatever Zack had told him and instead pretended not to notice that Cloud was staring at him. Good, that's where his eyes belonged, not on that prematurely grey, asshole cousin of his.

"Excuse me, Cloud?" Zack coughed after a few moments and the blond looked up.  
"Yea, thanks for joining us. If you could please rip your eyes away from the hot brunet so we could go get ready for our carwash?"

Cloud grumbled something and looked away before grabbing his own pair of swim shorts and trudging off down the hall.  
"What did he say?" Leon asked, looking questioningly at his cousin. Sephiroth glared.  
"He said you looked mangy, and that skin conditions kill his libido."  
Shock passed over the brunet's features before it occurred to him that, as usual, he was being lied to. He hated relying of Sephiroth for things like this. Of course, Seph may be more inclined towards honesty if Leon would stop picking on him. Like that was going to happen.

"All right. I'm gonna go change, Seph? You grab the bleach before Cloud gets back and finds out that's what we're using. Leon? Stand there and look sexy."

"**What did he say?"**  
**"He said get fucked."**

------------------------

As Cloud stood above a sudsy bucket, inhaling a very unique scent, one thing became painfully obvious.  
"Zack…this is straight bleach isn't it?"  
"…Maybe."  
Cloud's eyes slipped closed.

"That's going to eat the paint right off of these cars, you know that, right?"  
Zack rolled his eyes.  
"It will not. The Comet might, but the bleach won't. Besides, we had so much left and I hated to see it go to waste. And I brought some hand soap to mix in."

Cloud sighed. Great. They had a car wash with toxic bathroom cleaners and Dial. He did not want to be involved with this.   
"I'm….going to go hold the sign…"  
Shaking his head, Cloud walked over and picked up the hideously colored sign, Zack's own design, and headed out to stand by the road.

"Okay, good spirit!" Zack shouted over the hose he had just begun running.  
"Just make sure you smile, Kay Spiky? No one wants a mopey wash job!"

Not minding that he had gone fully ignored, Zack stood proudly over his filled buckets of bleach water in his white and green floral swimming shorts. It was then that something occurred to him.

"Oh Shit! This is bleach!"

Sephiroth looked up from sparing Leon an annoyed glance.  
"I belief that ist vat Cloud just got done telling you"

Zack brought a hand to his forehead.  
"Yea, I know, but…Crap! If we get this in our hair, we're screwed." He looked at Sephiroth for a moment.  
"Well, you'll be fine, you could leap into a swimming pool of bleach and you'd never be able to tell the difference with that hair—"

"Except that it vould probably all fall out." He interrupted.  
Zack nodded slowly.  
"Well yea…But this little bit won't hurt you. Or Cloud, really…Hey Leon!" he yelled, jerking Leon's attention from a certain sign-toting blond waving people down on the roadside. Once gaining his attention, Zack motioned for the brunet to follow him with exaggerated motions before pointing at the bleach and tugging at a strand of his own hair, making an unhappy face.  
Getting the point, Leon set down a sponge and began to follow after Zack.  
**"Afraid to mess up your hair?**  
**"Just don't want to look like you."**

The walk back to the apartment was a quick one, as the boys had decided to use the complex parking lot as their place of business. Zack had originally wanted to do it at the Waffle House, but Cloud managed to convince him that would lead to spending all their earnings on fried eggs and greasy sandwiches. While Sephiroth hadn't really seemed to think that was such a bad thing, they all finally agreed to just do it here instead.

"All right." Zack began as he pushed open the door. "We're looking for hair bands. We haven't got any, since me and Cloud's hair is too short, but I have the feeling we have some rubber bands, twine, dental floss…something."

At Leon's blank stare, Zack gathered a large section on his own hair and held it back in his hands, looking at the brunet expectantly, hoping he had made it clear. If this didn't always work, he figured he could break out the paper pad. Fortunately, Leon was saved from being at the mercy of Zack's Pictionary skills as he had a pretty good idea what he meant.  
Nodding his head briefly, Leon took off into the room he now shared with Sephiroth. With hair like his cousin had, pony tails were a must. Even if the man rarely wore them out, he still used them to keep his hair back to wash his face, keep from choking in his sleep, and to avoid drowning in a swimming pool. These among other purposes, of course.

When Leon emerged with a whole handful of hair bands, through their proud success, they both realized something. Neither of them knew how to tie their hair back.  
"Uh…" Zack plucked up a band with his fingers, holding it away from his face to examine it.  
"This couldn't be too hard, right?" Leon shrugged.

While it really shouldn't have been difficult, Zack was forgetting something. His hair was an absolute nightmare. While he looked damn good with his hairstyle, it was almost impossible to do anything with. It was after using his third hair band that he began to get frustrated, looking to Leon for help. Giving a scrutinizing glance, the brunet held up a hand and motioned for Zack to follow him, leading him back into their room and sitting him on the bed. From his position, Zack could see himself in the mirror on the wall.  
He withheld a cringe at his hair as Leon began to rummage through a bag, probably Seph's, before returning with a large scrunchy, sixteen or so bobby pins, and a few odd hair clips.  
Okay, he could do this. He had seen Seph do this a hundred times before, and he had four times as much hair as this guy did, and he could do it by himself.  
Removing whatever monstrosity Zack had already inflicted upon himself, Leon took a deep breath and began with a fresh start. Zack watched on, intrigued as the brunet gathered as much hair as he could into one large bunch before wrapping it up with the large, bright red scrunchy. It was with that out of the way that he set about on all of the pieces that had escaped hold. A handful of bobby pins and six purple hairclips later, the beast had been tamed, albeit unattractively. Standing and looking fully in the mirror, Zack realized that his hair looked absolutely horrifying, though somehow…it worked on him. He flashed himself a smile and a cheesy wink before turning to Leon, signaling that it was his turn to have a seat on the bed.  
Hovering above him, Zack cocked his head and rested a finger at his lips.  
"Hmmm…" Leon laughed and sat patiently, trusting Zack to do as he pleased, hoping that his hair would come out looking at least a little bit better than the other's had.  
"All right, I think I've got the solution. Nurse? Scalpel."  
Zack held out his hand and Leon instinctively handed him a band, watching as he worked his magic.  
It was over much faster than they had both expected, and with much less blood. It would turn out that Leon's hair was long and manageable enough to simply fit in one ponytail, and though the bangs didn't quite stay in, Zack doubted the man would get bleach that close to his face.

Rubbing his hands together, Zack patted Leon's shoulder and the other man stood and inspected his reflection, snorting quietly at himself. He didn't look bad by any means; he just wasn't getting out of this without a smartass comment from Sephiroth.  
"You know, we should probably bring one of these for Seph. Once he gets wet, all of that hair is going to drive him crazy." Zack continued musing himself as the men made their way back down to the parking lot.  
Reaching the outside, both Zack and Leon were met with a sight they would have rather not seen. It would seem that while they were gone they had gotten their first customer. The driver of the car was talking a tad too intimately about money to Cloud for Leon's liking, and the passenger's stare was damn near burning a hole in Sephiroth's back, or rather, his ass.  
Sharing a glance, the two men frowned and advanced upon the group, Zack walking up and slapping his hands down on the hood of the car, startling Seph in the process, who jumped up a little faster than he would have liked.  
"What can we do you for?" Zack asked with a mock-friendliness. He was a nice guy, he really, genuinely was, but he was only human, and humans could only take the love of their lives being drooled over for so long.  
The driver of the car looked over at the two newcomers, his gaze settling on Zack, or rather, Zack's hair.  
Cloud seemed stuck on it as well.  
"Zack…Wha…nevermind." He then looked over at Leon, who had his hair out of his face for the first time since Cloud had known him. It was very nice to see the man's face in its entirety…Very nice. It was like this that Cloud saw the entirety of the man's scar, something that Cloud was more turned on by than he would have liked to admit.

During this time, Zack and the driver had struck up a price conversation, Zack having dropped the jealous act, realizing that the success of this was by luring people in with their bodies anyway.

"I thought the sign said it was ten bucks for a car?" The driver pointed to Cloud, confusion on his face.  
"Well yes," Zack began, the perfect businessman. "That's the single-washer, base charge. But if you want more than one of us to wash your car, you have to pay an extra buck per person."

Behind him he heard Sephiroth snicker. It would seem that his extortionist ways were not going unnoticed, nor unappreciated.

"I want that guy." The passenger said, pointing at the silver-haired man, already fishing for a dollar in his pocket. The driver sighed. "All right. Him, too" he pointed at Cloud.  
Zack grinned.  
"I see, so we have a fair-skin fetish? All right, excellent choices, gentlemen. That'll be eleven dollars. And don't forget to tip our lovely workers on your way out. Strudel, Muffin, get to work."

Sephiroth and Cloud froze, eyes whipping to Zack.  
"Oh I forgot to tell you about our stage names. You," he pointed to Sephiroth. "Are Strudel, and you, Cloud, you're Muffin. This charming young man here is Key Lime Pie, Key-Lie for short, and I..." he smirked. "I'm Socks."

Sephiroth released another laugh and Cloud rolled his eyes and grabbed a sponge.  
"You need to shove a sock on that head of yours, maybe hide that hair." He cocked a hip, eyeing Sephiroth.  
"All right, 'Strudel', let's get this over with."

Bending down to snatch up the hose, Sephiroth gave Zack a look before beginning to spray down the car. That was when it occurred to both Leon and Zack that they may very well not make it through the day. As the darker haired men stood watching their pale companions, they realized that business was the last thing on their minds. Were they really supposed to focus on taking peoples' money when two soapy angels were walking around in front of them?

To make matters worse, the two washing the car had chosen to do the most inconvenient parts of the job in comparison to their body structures. Cloud, being the shorter of the two was straining and stretching to reach the top center of the vehicle's roof, giving Leon quite a show as the boy's muscles tightened and contracted with every move. Sephiroth, on the other hand, had dropped down lower to the ground to clean the bottom edge of the rims and tires, pulling his hair out of the way and giving Zack a wonderful first view of his back and shoulder blades.   
Anyone else watching would have thought they lacked common sense. Zack and Leon just thought they were evil.

----------

Two hundred dollars. They had been working for a little over four hours; they'd washed four trucks, eleven cars, one conversion van, and had come out with two hundred dollars even. This, of course, was not including tips, which bumped the boys up to a total of $376.50. Almost half of the tips hadn't even come from people in the car wash line, and instead were gifts from appreciative passersby. In truth, a big chunk of it came from Ms. Barbara, who found it cute that they were working for their money and wanted to show her support, even if it would benefit Zack. While the boys were incredibly grateful to her, her visit had thrown things off a little bit, as she had seen fit to insult Sephiroth, whom she hadn't yet met.  
The silver-haired man had been in the process of scrubbing a license plate clean when the old woman had stumbled upon them. No one was exactly sure what he had even done, Ms. Barbara just took one look at him and turned up her nose. Zack said it was because she used to be pretty in her youth, too, and was just jealous that age had not been kind to her.

Another huge some of money had come from a few girls from school: Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith, and Elena. The girls each took turns loading into each others' cars and went through the carwash four times, the last two times with a video camera. They had also paid the extra money to have all four of the boys get to work, squeaking and giggling the whole way though. Zack gave them one of the washes for free though, on the condition that he got a copy of the videotape in return.  
Some of their costumers, however, had been less pleasant, at least for Zack and Leon. Fate would have it that Zexion was just out and about when he saw the carwash and decided to drop in for a quick wash over, though from what Zack could see there wasn't a fleck of dirt on his vehicle. Fucking perfectionist. He was just there to steal his man, he knew it. Zack had made sure he and Leon volunteered themselves to wash his car for him, the two making short work of the job, as well as accidentally leaving a scratch or six on the back, right panel.

After four hours, things had finally begun to slow down, allowing the boys a chance to sit down in a set of lawn chairs Zack had dragged over from the apartment pool deck.

"I never want to wash another car in my freakin' life." Zack groaned as he held up his wrinkled hands for everyone to see.   
"My hands feel disgusting."  
The rest of the group mostly kept their silence, only nodding their concurrence. They were exhausted. It was definitely going to be a quick trip to the fair this year.

"Guess I've got good news for you then, huh?"  
The new voice caught them off guard as Reno strolled up from behind them. Zack rolled his eyes and Cloud gave a lazy smile. Leon acknowledged the red-head, weary of him though still grateful for the man's earlier help. Sephiroth just regarded the man's hair skeptically.

"You come to help us?" Cloud asked hopefully.  
"Ooooh no, I don't think so." Reno answered, waving his hands in dismissal before a playful smirk fell over his features.  
"I came for a wash."

Zack raised an eyebrow.  
"You don't have a car."  
Reno smiled sweetly, holding his arms up in the air.

"I know. I've got some cash, though. Wash me."  
Sephiroth snorted and Zack narrowed his eyes.  
"Get lost, Reno."  
Cloud slapped the darker man's head and looked at him with a scolding expression.

"Shut up, Zack. He's a paying customer. You should be happy that he didn't go rent a bus and drive it up here." Zack rolled his eyes, much to Cloud's disapproval, as the blond stood and approached his friend.

"So." Cloud grinned. "We're a pretty basic operation. Pick a guy, fork over 10 bucks, and lose the shirt."  
The redhead smiled, digging into his pockets and producing the cash before walking up the still-seated men. His lips turned downwards in concentration as he looked the group over before his cruel eyes finally fell on Zack.  
"I'll take that one. The concubine with a dead crow on his head."

Cloud choked on a laugh that he knew Zack would abuse him for later, as did Sephiroth. Leon didn't crack a smile until he saw Zack leap up from his chair with a disgruntled yell. Cloud rushed over and hauled Zack back down by the shoulders.

"Calm down, we charged him car price for something that's going to take you thirty seconds. Just bite your tongue and… slap him with the sponge a few times."

Zack grumbled and shrugged out of the blond's reach.  
"Shoulda brought the steel wool."  
Reno pretended not to imagine himself being skinned alive by Zack and a piece of wire sponge in favor of removing his shirt and giving a cheeky smile. That smile quickly dropped, however, when he heard a foreign howl to his left.

"**He's whiter than you are! Holy Christ! It's a goddamn ghost!"** Leon squawked through laughter, slapping his hands over his eyes dramatically. Sephiroth frowned and Zack had to cover his mouth to hold in a threatening bout of laughter. Even Cloud had to hide a smile at Leon's reaction, even though he had no idea what he was laughing about.

At Reno's hurt, questioning expression, Sephiroth cleared his throat.  
**"Excuse him. He is vat you vould call…retarded. He fell down a stairvell at a young age. Ve only found him because ze dog vouldn't stop barking. Since zen he is fery fond of Peek-a-Boo." **Reno giggled and Cloud gasped, praying that there wasn't a thread of truth to that statement. While he didn't think Leon was unstable, he also had no idea what in the heck the brunet was saying unless a pad of paper was involved. For all he knew every word that came through Leon's mouth were the ingredients to no-bake taco salad.

Zack was still snickering as he approached the red head, quite pleased with himself for dipping the sponge in the bleach bucket without Cloud noticing.   
"Hey Seph?"  
The silver haired man looked up.

"Wanna do me a favor?"  
Sephiroth smirked and picked up the hose he had hooked to the arm of his lawn chair, giving Reno a good shower from his seat. To his credit, the noises Reno made weren't as bad as they could have been, considering it was the end of October and he was soaked, though the ones he did make would be held against him later.  
When Sephiroth released the trigger of the hose, Zack got to work on the shivering but smug red-head, soaping him up, taking care to get his underarms, and giving special attention to his face and hair. It was when his eyes began burning that Reno distinctly noticed something was awry.

As Reno pulled a face, Cloud hung his head. He knew he smelled the bleach bucket. Great. He'd definitely be giving the guy a full refund once Zack was out of earshot.

----

"I still can't believe he didn't tip." Zack shook his head as he mused out loud. That earned him a look from Cloud.  
"You probably ruined his hair, Zack. He didn't take the precautions that you did, as horrible as they may look."

Zack raised a self conscious hand to his hair.  
"I don't know what you are talking about…" he grinned. "Leon worked very hard running his hands through my hair to make me look like this."

Cloud's head whipped up. He had been on his third attempt at counting their earnings, every time being interrupted by Zack. This time, however, he gave up and slid the money over to Sephiroth without breaking eye contact with the grinning man.

"He did what now?"   
Zack's smile grew.  
"That's right. He touched my head. He did my hair and I did his. Let me just say, that kid's got some silky hair. And it smells wonderful. I bet it looks great have a nice round of sex, too."

Cloud glared.  
"Well why you were up here playing Barbie make-over, Sephiroth and I had a nice time down there as well."  
Zack raised a brow, trying to act unaffected.  
"Is that so?"

Cloud looked smugly at him and nodded his head.  
"Yea, he gave his number to some guy in a Volkswagen. He was pretty cute, too."

Zack's eyes narrowed and Sephiroth coughed.  
"I don't remember zis."

Cloud pouted as Zack sighed in relief. He really didn't feel like tracking down every guy in a Beetle and playing twenty questions.  
"I did give Leon's nummer to dat bus driver."

Cloud jumped and Zack chuckled before settling back in his chair, propping a leg on the table, much to the blond's distaste.  
"I'm beat." He stifled a yawn and folded his arms behind his head. Cloud's eyes lit up.  
"Too tired to go to the fair?"

Sephiroth had never seen someone flip emotions so quickly in his life. In two seconds Zack went from relaxed to on his feet and bounding to find the keys, talking loudly all the while.  
"Everybody in the car! We're leaving in two minutes!"

Cloud hung his head.  
The only thing keeping him from staying home was that he didn't have the heart to leave Sephiroth and Leon at the mercy of a ride-happy Zack. If they were to walk out that door alone, he would never see either of them again.

---------

"**Why did we spend all afternoon washing cars if we were just going to sneak in?"** Leon asked his cousin as they followed Zack and Cloud to the side of a building, the dark haired man looking around for a clear shot. Sephiroth shrugged.  
**"Cloud said they never pay to actually get in the fair. Said all their money goes on food and games."**

Leon digested that momentarily before nodding his head slowly, jumping slightly when Zack came up behind him silently and pulled his arm.  
"Come on, we have to get through here real quick before that both attendant comes up. He bent down for ketchup refills and we have approximately fifteen seconds before he resurfaces."  
As they were pulled through the gap between the gate and the entrance building, Sephiroth spared his cousin a translation, faulty as it may be.  
**"He said you'd make a great underwear model."**  
Leon felt his eye twitch. It was going to be a long day.

Once they made it through the gate and walked a few yards, they were in free, or so they thought.   
After they had made it in, it would seem that there was another mission to complete. They had to get wrist bands. Without paying the outrageous price tag. Sephiroth and Leon watched in amusement as Zack and Cloud stood on their tip-toes, looking around for something in particular.  
"See one?" Zack asked and Cloud shook his head, biting his tongue in concentration as he continued to search.   
"Ah! Found one! Fourth from the left!"  
After a few moments of hard work, they had been rewarded with the discovery of a young, female ticket booth attendant. Now it was time for Zack to work his magic.  
"You have to watch this." Cloud whispered as he joined Sephiroth and Leon.  
"He does this every time. He sweet talks the kiosk and she just…gives us the wrist bands. I really don't know how he does it."  
**"What's he doing?"**  
Sephiroth didn't look away.  
**"Stealing."**

As Zack turned away from the booth, wrist bands in hand, with a world class smile that made men and women alike weak in the knees, Cloud could only think how goofy he was.  
**"He's pretty cute, eh? You should do something before someone else takes a liking to him. Or are you scared of rejection?"**  
Sephiroth rolled his eyes at his younger cousin, who was all to happy to keep talking.  
**"It's not like you have any reason to worry, really. He is practically throwing himself at you half the time. You should pay him a little attention once in a while, before he gives up and moves on."  
**The older was about to reply that the brunet wasn't exactly following his own advice when they stopped suddenly and they noticed Zack staring at them expectantly.  
"So how do you like it?" he asked, gesturing around them.

Sephiroth and Leon took a moment to look around, taking in their surrounding. Great, now they were surrounded by drunk, crazy Americans. Not only that, but they were a bit iffy about these rides. Looking at them rattle, shake, and squeak, they didn't exactly get the impression of being safe. Not that either of them had any real experience with rides. Sure, they had been to fairs dozens of times, but they didn't really do rides. Leon always visited the fair as more of a social outing, going with a few friends to hang out and get away from the house, where as Sephiroth didn't care to go at all. Once he reached the age to which his parents couldn't make him go, he just didn't. Something about the hordes of dirty people had never appealed to him.

The boys were pulled from their dread-filled staring when Cloud stepped up beside them, Zack already four steps in front of them.  
"Just do what he says. It goes by much faster when he isn't physically hauling you around and throwing you onto a ride." Cloud shook his head as he gave his advice and fell into step with his overexcited friend.  
Leon didn't bother asking Sephiroth what the blond had said, which was lucky, as the silver-haired man was already prepared to inform him to struggle for his life.

"So which one should we go on first?" Cloud asked, smiling as he took in Zack's happy face. He loved seeing him like this. He really was just an oversized kid sometimes. Of course, then Cloud remembered that this was the same man who keyed a car and bleached a human today, causing the innocent image to shatter, if only a bit.

"I was thinking…" Zack looked around before his eyes fell onto a large, circular ride, an evil smile falling on his face. "That one."  
Cloud followed his best friend's fingers to see the Himalaya, already catching on to Zack's train of thought. This was the ride that you rode if you wanted someone in your lap. And they both definitely had two people with them that they wouldn't mind having in their laps.  
"Good choice. You know, I don't think the fair won't be so bad this year." The blond and black haired men grinned at each other as they led the two unsuspecting Germans to the front of the line. As the ride supervisor led them on to the ramp without bothering to check for their wristbands, Zack and Cloud stood to the side.

Cloud took the car in front of Zack, holding his arm out to allow Leon to be seated first. Zack did the same thing with Sephiroth, though his manners were regarded with suspicion. Worried that he was going to be found out, Zack smiled and rushed him to sit down. Once they were seated and had pulled the waist bar down, Cloud turned around and received a large thumbs-up from Zack, something that made Sephiroth go from suspicious to nervous.

"**Hey Leon…"** The brunet turned around at the unsure tone in his cousin's voice, raising his eyebrows in question.  
**"…Be careful." **At that, Leon felt a pit grow in his stomach. He wasn't exactly sure what Sephiroth had meant, but he didn't seem to be teasing him. He looked over at Cloud, noticing that the blond was trying to hide a smile. Okay, so something was definitely going on.  
As the ride huffed and pulled into motion, neither of the Germans were expecting what happened next. Once it reached a medium speed, gravity took its toll. Both boys suddenly slid across the seat; Leon shoved against Cloud, and Sephiroth into Zack's open, expecting arms. It only became worse as the ride began to pick up speed, the gravity preventing either of the two to pull away from their bench-mates. Zack was delighted, or at least he was until his world turned black, or rather, silver.  
He had completely forgotten that at high velocities, Sephiroth's hair would become a living death trap. He had five feet of hair wrapping around his neck, getting in his eyes, nose, and mouth. Cloud turned around to smile at his friend when, to his shock, he couldn't see him. All he could see was this…thing sitting next to an unhappy Sephiroth. The thing was trying it's best to lift its arms and free its face, though gravity wasn't having any of that.

Chuckling, Cloud shook his head and turned back around, looking at Leon who was desperately trying to push himself back over to the other side of the bench. The blond was overjoyed, however, when he and Leon made eye contact and the struggling man stopped resisting and allowed himself to mold to Cloud's body. It was almost a shame when the ride began to slow and Leon forced himself to detach from the other. The car behind them, however, was another story entirely. As the ride finally came to a stop Zack was able to break free from his prison of hair.

"Holy Mother you have a lot of hair…" Zack continued to mumble as he rubbed his eyes where the tips had whipped around and stung him, trying to soothe them. Sephiroth only picked up a strand of his now tangled hair and eyed it sadly, trying for the life of him to get it into some semblance of a presentable state. He knew it was a lost cause with the way Leon kept laughing at him. Cloud, too, would giggle occasionally and look away.  
"New rule." Zack finally said, giving his face one final comforting rub.  
"You. Braid. Now."

Sephiroth cocked a brow at the strange command, wondering just how in earth he was supposed to braid his hair when it was too tangled to separate pieces from.  
Had he known he would been be dragged off to a hair wrap booth to have an elderly Native America woman do it for him, he probably would have made more of an effort to get lost in the crowd. But he didn't, and instead he was subjected to sitting still for an hour while an old woman combed through his hair with a, to his horror, very well used brush. Meanwhile the other three had gone off scouting the fair, vowing not to actually ride anything; they were only looking.  
So with Sephiroth's newly done five foot braid complete, the boys were on their way for another ride. This time, however, Sephiroth and Leon decided it may be best to partner up. Actually, it was more of a thing Sephiroth had decided and forced on to Leon, who really was quite anxious to get beaten into Cloud again.

"All right, which one did we decide we wanted to do next?" Cloud asked, looking around at all the choices.  
"That one."  
Zack pointed to a ride located in the center of the game booths. It was the most colorful, awful contraption that any of them had ever seen, and though no one but Zack would admit it, they were all a bit too excited to ride it.  
"Ah, yes." Cloud tried to look nonchalant. "The carousel."  
He glanced at Zack out of the corner of his eye before snatching Leon's hand and making a run for it, yelling over his shoulder.  
"I CALL THE HIPPO!"  
As the two got farther away they could barely hear Zack's scream.  
"WHAT?! I ALWAYS GET THE HIPPO!"  
Leon's face fell into a dumb smile as they came up to the ride, the funny word that Cloud had said stuck in his mind.  
"Hippo?"  
Hearing him, Cloud's eyes widened before he instantly fell into a fit of laughter at the smile at Leon's face, combined with the tone of his voice. The man was just too adorable. This was dangerous though, little by little these two newcomers were ruining everyday words for the American boys, causing unacceptable sexual stimulation at the mention of certain household items and now zoo animals.  
Cloud stopped laughing, his smile matching Leon's.  
"Yes. Hippo."  
He pointed at the large, bulbous fiberglass hippo. It wasn't exactly the gruesome killer that nature proved it to be; instead it was a light shade of purple and wore ribbons and a set of reigns. Leon nodded as Zack dashed up to them; Sephiroth was still some yards behind as he had refused to run for something so childish.  
"Cloud you can't have the hippo, you know it's my favorite!" Zack whined, hoping to coerce his friend's willing surrender of his favorite carousel animal, meanwhile ignoring all of the strange looks he was receiving from the parents waiting in line. Cloud tried to hide a smirk. He didn't really care about Zack's hippo, he was planning to take the Ostrich, he just wanted to mess with Zack.

"Hey, my kid was here first, you can't skip in line, Buddy."  
Hearing the unhappy statement, the boys turned to see Sephiroth staring down at a rather stocky man.  
Saying nothing, Sephiroth held his gaze for a moment more before turning to face the group with a smirk. Behind them they could hear the father apologizing to his child, explaining that one person wouldn't' make a difference and that his son would still get the giraffe.

Grinning at his cousin, Leon pointed at the ride.  
**"Which one do you want? I think those two are fighting over that fat thing…which now that I look at it, kind of reminds me of you."  
**Sephiroth raised a brow at the comment.  
**"I'm not fat, thank you."** He paused to think before smirking. **"And I was considering the giraffe."  
"You don't like giraffes."  
"I know."  
"…Whatever."**

When it was finally time to board the ride, the ticket taker didn't even both checking Zack for a wristband when the raven-haired youth practically flew to his gender-confused hippopotamus. Upon reaching his prize, Zack turned to glare at Cloud, who had gone off in a complete other direction. The blond pulled himself onto a rather goofy looking ostrich while Leon seemed torn between the neighboring camel and pony. On one hand, the horse was obviously reliable, as it was included on every carousel known to man. But then you had the camel, and how often did you get to sit on one of those? It was closer to Cloud and his ostrich anyway, so the camel it was.  
The brunet tried not to imagine just how ridiculous he looked as he plunked down on his trusty, humpless camel. He didn't feel so embarrassed when he noticed Sephiroth standing next to the giraffe, giving the evil eye to a random kid who had beaten him to it.  
He seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of physically removing the child from the plastic, mammalian replica before decided that he could do with out it. Besides, this kid had beaten the young boy he skipped in line as well, so as far as he was concerned, he had won. He gave the child an approving nod before sliding between a few deranged looking walruses to take a seat on the sled.

"**Well aren't we boring?"**  
Sephiroth looked up to where Leon had yelled at him from five rows behind. He considered shooting back an insult when he decided the look he was giving was enough. Leon suddenly realized that he was sitting on a grinning camel and had no room to be making fun of any one, quickly finding something else to look at, namely Zack. From across the ride the three could see the black haired man pretending not to hear the five year old girl to his bottom left. Trying and failing.

"But..But..I wanted the hippo." Zack tried his hardest to ignore the child, knowing that if he looked the girl in the eyes he would cave in and relinquish his steed. Fortunately, he was saved when the ride attendant arrived.

"We're starting the ride, little girl. You'll have to find a seat or get off."  
The thought of the child being removed from the ride tore at his heart, and upon glancing downwards, the look in the little girl's eyes was just too much for him. He sighed.

"Hey sweetie, here you go." Reluctantly he slid off of the hippo and smiled at the delighted child.  
He offered out his hand to help her up and she took it. After making sure that she was properly seated he patted the hippo on the head.

"I guess you have a new master. Until next year."  
With that the black haired man shook his head and made to walk off of the ride until he heard his name being called. Kind of.

"Zock!" Grinning, knowing that no one else said his name like that, Zack looked around to see Sephiroth sitting on one of the rides benches, patting the space beside him. Zack smiled as he approached and joined him.  
"You know these are for old people and parents who are too insecure to ride the animals, right?"  
"Now zey are for spineless men who give into children."

Zack laughed.  
"Got you too, huh?"  
Sephiroth rolled his eyes and nodded.  
"Something like zat."

------------------

The next few rides went smoothly, if you ignored the way Leon panicked when one ride slowed to a stop, only to begin again in reverse. The group of young men was approaching a large ride by the name of Pharaoh's Fury, an enormous boat-shaped hunk of fiberglass that swung like a pendulum. Compared to the last few rides they had been on, this one was child's play. Or at least it should have been. Much to Sephiroth's disbelief, as the ride got half way through he began to feel a familiar feeling in his stomach and the tell tale zingy taste in his mouth. There was no way he was going to throw up; He did not throw up. Upon thinking that, he flashed back to a week before when he spent all evening throwing up after eating a cake. Okay, he didn't throw up on rides; especially not one's as mild as this one. As the ride made a barely noticeable indication of slowing, he had to admit it. He was probably going to throw up. He decided he would be all right if he could just get off the damned ride. He considered asking the attendant to stop it, but one- the man probably wouldn't understand him, and two- he would never hear the end of it from a certain brunet.  
After an eternity the ride finally began to really slow, much to his relief, although how he was getting the definite red flag from his insides. After what felt like centuries the ride stopped entirely and the waist guards popped up. Or at least every one else's did. They seem to have chosen the one row in which you had to manually release the bar, which the attendant was taking his sweet time doing.  
Holding his silence, as soon as the bar lifted Sephiroth all but leaped from the ride and down the walk way, barely making it to the grass before the bile began making its way up his throat.  
Coughing in his sick misery, Sephiroth became aware of someone lifting up the long braid which had fallen to ground by this time. He felt another pair of hands hold his bangs out of the way. When he finally stopped emptying the contents of his stomach, he looked up to see that it was Leon who had held his bangs out of the way and Zack who was keeping the rest of his hair safe. A few seconds later Cloud showed up with a few napkins and a bottle of water.  
Accepting the napkins first, he wiped off his hands. He was about to say thank you to each of them when an annoying and ampliphied voice reached his ear.

"You got some throw up on ya! Oop, we got a upchucker!"   
The boys turned to see that they were standing next to the dunking-booth, where the obnoxious man inside was all too happy to watch and humiliate those around him, trying to goad passersby into playing his game. Zack frowned.

"Don't make me come up there and kick your ass."  
The man in the booth only smiled.   
"This is high-qual chain link, my friend. But may I suggest a ball? One ball for two bucks."

Zack was considering when Cloud rolled his eyes.  
"Zack, are you really going to pay him to get revenge? Besides, he's been getting dunked in that tub all day; you think it makes any difference to him?"

"Hey, what is that, anyway? Is that a lady or a man that just puked?"  
Wiping his mouth, Sephiroth looked up at the man, anger on his face. Leon followed his cousin's unhappy gaze to the obnoxious man in the cage who was pointing and laughing. It didn't take a genius to see that he was making fun of Seph, which pissed Leon right off. No one got to make fun of his cousin but him.  
Glaring, Leon looked around, his eyes falling on to the booth across from the caged man. The booth had a wall of balloons which you paid some sum of money for three darts and tried to pop them. Those would do just fine. Digging through his pockets, Leon approached the dart booth and slapped down five bucks, not sure exactly how much he owed the man. He accepted the darts, ignoring the man as he turned back around and headed back to the dunking-booth.

Wondering just what had caused the cruel mirth on the man's face to change so drastically, Cloud turned in time to see Leon rearing an arm back before whipping forward and releasing a now air-born dart. It would have hit its intended mark of right between the shirtless man's nipples if he hadn't thrown himself into the water to avoid being punctured, yelping as he did so.

Still feeling a bit like shit, Sephiroth smiled at his younger cousin as Leon walked up to him and placed a hand on his back, leading them away from the cowering man in the water. Leon returned the rest of the darts to the other booth attendant as they walked by, continuing leading Sephiroth with a hand on his back.  
Zack and Cloud were a bit shocked as they watched Leon's display of protectiveness over his cousin. It was the first time they had ever seen the two display anything other than hatred towards one another. Realizing that they were being left behind, they shook it off and ran to catch up with the pair. It was nice to see this side of the two Germans.   
"Remind me to never piss Leon off."  
"Same here."

------

Finding a table to rest at had been fairly easy, considering the ungodly amounts of people around. Cloud had decided they needed a break, and that Sephiroth needed a little time to sit down and settle his stomach. It hadn't taken long for the love to wear off and for the relationship between Leon and Sephiroth to revert back to normal, either. Not long after finding a seat had Leon quickly reverted back to his smug commentary, though Cloud and Zack would be damned if they knew what was going on.

"**The boat ride."** The brunet said in wonder as he shook his head. Sephiroth groaned.  
**"Shut up. I know."** Leon snickered, though quickly dropped it when he watched Sephiroth's eyes go from ill to wildly alert. The silver haired man's posture rose until he was sitting back-breakingly straight his neck and head turning to follow something he had seen.  
Zack, curious to what had taken his crush's attention captive looked around, following Seph's eyes to a small child, though it was what the small child was holding that had gotten him.  
"You want a funnel cake?"

Cloud looked at Zack strangely, answering for the other man.  
"No, he doesn't want a funnel cake. Are you crazy? He just got sick, I'm sure the last thing he wants to do is eat."

"Jawohl. "  
The answer was sharp and absolute, which confused Leon greatly.  
Zack's eyebrows furrowed and he tilted his head.  
"Hey, don't go German on me."

Sephiroth shook his head.  
"Yes, I vould like von, please."

Zack, all too happy to please the other man, quickly made his way up to a food vender, laying down his money before yelling back.  
"Do you want a lot of sugar or a little?!"

"LOTS. I vant a sugar mountain." Zack raised an eyebrow at the answer before turning back to the amused vender. Smiling and receiving his heart-attack on a paper plate, Zack nodded his thanks and made his way back to the group.

"This good?" He asked, setting the plate down in front of Sephiroth, causing Leon's lips to curl in revulsion.

"Ya, dis is fery, fery gute."  
Zack grinned at the response. Apparently the accent got worse when he was excited. He'd have to remember that.

"**Are you serious? You just threw up. And now you want to eat...that?!"**  
Sephiroth didn't spare his cousin a glance as he gazed lovingly down at his funnel cake. Oh, this day was turning out magnificently.  
**"Fine. I'm not holding your hair when you barf again, though."**

Zack and Cloud looked around at what they should do next while Sephiroth continued to eat and Leon watched him, a slow smirk spreading over his face. About that time Zack turned around and noticed the smile of the brunet and quickly shoved Cloud in the side, who turned quickly to yell before he noticed Leon as well. As Leon moved slightly closer to Sephiroth, his evil intentions became quite clear. Cloud and Zack were in utter horror as the brunet sucked in a large breath and the world stood still. All the two boys could do was stare as Leon released the air he was holding, sending a monsoon of powdered sugar all over Sephiroth and anything else in the surrounding area. The first thing to be seen once the sugar had settled was Sephiroth's eyes. Despite the great amount of sugar that had entered them, causing them to be a watery red, he looked absolutely heartbroken. Then, slowly, the sad eyes turned to those of rage and revenge. Of course, by the time the sugar had settled, Leon had been long gone.

Fortunately he hadn't gone far, so after Sephiroth properly mourned the loss of his sugar pile and finished eating, Leon rejoined them as they stood from the table. It was on to the next ride, though this time they weren't going on anything that exceeded the speed of a three-legged Chihuahua.

"How about this one? It looks pretty...tame." Cloud was careful with his word choice, as not to offend Sephiroth.

"I don't know if you should trust that one, kid."  
Recognizing the rough voice, Zack and Cloud turned quickly to regard an aged blond male in a dirty pair of jeans and an oil covered jacket.

"Cid!" Zack look ecstatic and Cloud smiled.  
"We were hoping we would run into you this year!"

Cid grinned a half smile around his smoking cigarette.  
"Yea, I was hopin' I'd see you boys again, too. That way I could tell ya you owed me five bucks from last year."

"**Who is that?"** Leon was regarding the older gentleman strangely, wondering how Cloud and Zack knew him. Sephiroth turned his back to the new man in favor of gossiping with his cousin.  
**"I don't know. He's rather old and he smells like a lawnmower."**  
Leon stifled a laugh.  
**"He looks like a lawnmower blew up on him."**

Hearing the foreign conversation, Cid turned an eye towards to the two Germans, looking the silver-haired one up and down before looking back at Cloud and Leon.

"**You know her? That's a pretty good lookin' broad. And here I always pegged you two for faggots."**  
Zack burst out laughing and Cloud's jaw dropped. Sephiroth turned, wondering what would make Zack make such an awful noise. Upon realizing that the 'broad' was a man, Cid inhaled too quickly and choked on his cigarette.  
"That's a man!"

Zack continued to laugh and Sephiroth glared. Leon didn't know what was going on, but he was amused by the man who had just nearly swallowed his cigarette.  
Leaping into Damage-Control mode, Cloud quickly moved between the two staring men.

"Uh, Cid, this is Sephiroth and Leon. They're foreign exchange students from Germany who are living with us now. Seph, this is Cid, he works around town doing repairs. Me and Zack met him about seven years ago at this same fair. It's a pretty funny story, actually. He randomly warned us not to get on a ride, so we listened and it ended up breaking down with everyone on it. Now we hunt him down every year."

Zack, by now, had recovered.  
"Yep, with out this guy we would have been stuck on 'The Claw' for two horrors."  
He grinned at Cid, who only shook his head at the younger boy.

"So you were saying you don't trust this one?" he asked, pointing his thumb back at a childish looking ride.  
"Why? I've never seen it before, it looks like it's the newest thing here."

"Exactly." Cid started, lighting up a new cigarette. "I've never worked on it, so I don't trust it."  
Zack rolled his eyes.   
"So it doesn't have a history of breakdowns, that's a good thing."  
The older man only shook his head as the walkie-talkie on his waist buzzed into life.  
"Carousel just broke down, I've gotta go. I'll see you kids later. And don't get on the Gravitron. It's been acting up this year."

The older man released a breath of smoke as he gave a slight wave and walked off, leaving Zack and Cloud smiling, Sephiroth glaring, and Leon staring off into space.  
"All right. So I think we should try this one." He pointed back at the ride Cid had never had to work on.  
"It's called Mild Mouse, how bad can it be?"

Those were famous last words, apparently, because Mild Mouse was anything but mild. Every time it took a corner, Cloud was pretty sure he felt a rib shatter. It was over quickly, but he had a feeling he would be feeling the long-term effects.

"Okay." Cloud started once they had gotten off.  
"Zack doesn't get to pick any more rides. All in agreement raise your hand."  
Zack pouted as Sephiroth rose his had while grabbing Leon's wrist, raising his as well.  
The dark hair man sighed.

"Fine, I knew you were a mutinous bunch any how. Lead on, Captain Cloud."  
The blond smiled and look around before letting his eyes fall on Leon. He held up his hands, gesturing at the whole fair with question in his eyes. Leon understood that he was being asked to pick the next one and pointed at the towering ride to their far right.  
Cloud blushed as Zack began to hoot.

"The Ferris Wheel, huh? The ride a la Romance?"  
Cloud regarded Zack wearily.  
"That didn't even make sense. Let's go"

Approaching the large wheel, Cloud began to have doubts. While it wasn't a serious phobia, he would openly admit to being uncomfortable with heights. Trying to push it aside, he quickly boarded the cart when it was their turn, getting in the car before he could change his mind. He felt the small car waiver as someone boarded, and looked up in confusion as the small plastic doors closed. He saw Zack holding his arm out to stop Sephiroth, signifying that they would be riding separately. As the wheel moved slightly to allow the next empty cart to enter the boarding area, he turned his head to see a smirking brunet next to him.

Gradually the ride set into motion after everyone had boarded. Cloud was grateful that Sephiroth and Zack had been in the car directly after them, since you really couldn't ever see the person in the car next to you.  
When they reached the top, Cloud made the mistake of looking out over the entire fair ground. Sharply, he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, only to open them when he felt a gentle hand on his leg. He was met with stormy grey staring back at him and he tried to fight the blush that was rising in his cheeks. Did Leon like him? Was he imagining things?  
Slowly Leon scooted over closer to him until their sides were pressed together and draped an arm around the small blond's shoulders.  
They stared at each other for a moment before Leon allowed a thin smile.  
"Beautiful."  
The word was weighed down with his heavy accent and it went straight to Cloud's heart, causing it to beat faster than he could remember it ever doing before. He could feel his pulse thundering as he watched the gorgeous brunet and his smirking lips lean in closer to him. At the first contact of the feather soft kiss, Cloud's eyes slipped closed as his hand immediately found its way into Leon's shaggy, chocolate hair. He pulled the brunet closer as the kiss deepened, Leon's hand slowly trailing from the blond's waist to his arm pit and back down. Cloud's stifled moan only encouraged him and their kiss became wilder as they shoved their mouths together almost violently. Slipping an arm between them, Cloud worked his hand into the neck of Leon's shirt, grasping and caressing the other man's shoulder as their lips continued to battle for dominance.

"Ewwwwwww!" Both men froze as the high-pitched squeal reached their ears. It wasn't until they heard the giggling that they pulled apart from each other and looked for the source of the sound.  
"Mommy, are those two boys?"  
Blue and grey eyes fell upon a group of children and their parents, every single one of them staring at the two men. In their heated kissing, it would seem that they forgot that Ferris Wheels actually came back down now and again.  
Cloud pouted and Leon frowned while they waited for the cart to lift off of ground level and out of the kids' line of sight. He knew Zack had heard the children, too, so he was already in for it once they got off the ride. Speaking of Zack, he wondered how he was doing with Sephiroth. Were they in the same position that he and Leon had just been in?  
As talented fingers slid up his neck to tilt his chin upwards, Cloud found it quite hard to care about what Zack was or wasn't doing. He reached out and clutched the front of Leon's shirt before shifting his weight into the brunet's lap, straddling him.

"Beautiful." It was Cloud who whispered the word this time.

---------  
By the time the boys filed back inside of the sanctuary of their own apartment, exhaustion was setting in. They had wound up spending much longer at the fair than they had guessed, though they enjoyed every second of it. They would have left much earlier on if Cloud hadn't pointed out that no trip to a carnival was complete with out face paintings.  
With that said, the men had located the nearest 'facial artist', as she called herself, paid the ridiculous fee, and subjected themselves to over-used paintbrushes. Zack had decided to get a fish in honor of Vincent, and Cloud had just gotten the same thing he got every single year. On his left check was a poofy, white cloud. It was a design that he thought was stupid, and yet he loved it anyway. Sephiroth had not cared to get one, although upon nagging, now adorned a bright blue turtle, God only knew why. Leon had wanted the train, but after the funnel cake incident, Sephiroth's translating skills seemed to have taken a convenient trip to hell. That being said, Leon wound up with a rainbow with two clouds on either end. The only thing that kept him from throwing a fit was when Cloud pointed to the cloud on his face as well. That got the brunet to shut up about it, if only for a little while.

After taking the necessary time to view their new face art, they had made to leave before Sephiroth and Leon stopped them, informing the two that there was something they really wanted to do. So Zack and Cloud watched on as the two Germans proceeded the cheat the hell out of the game booths, either by just somehow being good at the rigged games or by distracting the attendant while the other stole the prizes. There was actually one occasion when, upon winning a prize from the lower level, Sephiroth mentioned to the bother supervisor that he would prefer one of the bigger ones. Needless to say, the silver-haired man was now carrying the largest plush Nemo that any of them had ever seen.

Dropping all of their prizes in various locations of the apartment, all four men parted ways to their respective beds. To fall asleep, it takes the average pre-school class fifteen to twenty minutes. It took these men two.

-----

END CHAPTER  
A/N:  
..I'm a bad person. I decided to skip Halloween. I'm sorry!!! I just figured that, 1- I had already missed Halloween, 2- the chapter was already over 20 pages long, and 3-I could always just write scenes from it after the story is finished and post them separately in drabble form. So yea…I'm really sorry, I hope none of you feel too cheated. I swear though, Thanksgiving IS happening, and Christmas is, too. Even if I have to quite my job to get it done, it WILL get done.


	5. Erntedankfest

Disclaimer:

Don't own McGuire's or their strange hamburgers, the beach (haha), FFVII/KH or their characters, the fair (still, i know), any brand of butter, or Scrabble.

A/N:  
It hasn't been TOO long this time, has it? And lucky you guys, not only will you get an update on New Years, but you will get one between then and now, as well! You know how much that is going to kill me, don't you? I'm like…the laziest human alive. You should all pity Sleighbells, who has to endure my phone calls in which I complain for hours on end about not wanting to write. I'm sure it must be very hard for her.  
Anyway, like I said, I am trying to keep the holiday thing up to date, so if you are noticing some Calendar/timeline Discrepancies…well I am sorry. If you like this story, I hope you will just turn a blind eye and deal with it. Hopefully it shouldn't bother anyone, though.  
As usual, read it and enjoy it! I won't even beg for reviews, since everyone seems to be doing such an amazing job of leaving me feedback, so everyone so far who has done that, give yourselves a huge high five, 'cause I super appreciate it.

**Chapter 5 **

"I can't believe you made out on a Ferris Wheel. How cliché can you get, Cloud? And those poor kids! They're probably scarred for life. Not to mention, can you imagine the parents trying to explain why a man and another man were molesting each other? They're probably scared to death that their children are going to wind up being gay all because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. You're sick, pal."

Cloud's shoulders sagged before he bowed his head in defeat. Zack had been relentless in making fun of him for the previous 'event' all morning. The blond had tried to defend himself at first, but after the first few minutes, it became painfully obvious that Zack would not be beaten.

"And I totally saw you in his lap, man."  
Cloud's head jerked up at the cocky statement, a blush already filling his face. He hadn't known Zack had actually seen him and Leon going at it at the fair. Zack's cruel smile widened at the blond's shock and he wiggled his eyebrows and plopped down next to him on the couch. The dark haired one smiled and shook his head as he leaned closer, placing his hand on Cloud's leg.  
"You're such a woman."

Cloud's eyes widened before they narrowed considerably, leveling his taunting friend with a glare as he slapped the hand from his leg. It was then that a thought that had previously eluded him so beautifully crossed his mind. He didn't even try to stop the smug grin that came across his face.

"What about you?"  
Zack seemed taken aback by the question, quirking his head slightly to the side.  
"What about me?"

Cloud's grin turned positively feral.  
"What did you and Sephiroth do?" The blond did not give his stunned friend a chance to speak, and continued.  
"Wait, don't tell me! You didn't do anything! I bet he sat on the complete other side of the ride, didn't he?"

Zack's jaw dropped as he began to stutter in objection.  
"He didn't want to make the cart unbalanced! Equilibrium is very important, Cloud! He was looking out for our safety!"  
Cloud let out a sharp, mocking laugh, standing from the couch and smirking down at the man.  
"That's bull and you know it, you can't even spell equilibrium! He sat on the other side of the car because he's not interested! You've been making fun of me all morning because you're so jealous it's killing you!"

Zack shot up from the sofa as well, absolutely appalled by the blond's defensive brutality.  
"That is not true! You have no idea that he doesn't like me! He might just have issues dealing with emotions! And why in the hell should I be jealous of you?" He asked, raising his jaw in the air, a vicious smirk touching his lips, making the blond a bit uneasy.  
"At least I can talk to mine. And you know…have him understand me!

Cloud gaped at the statement before sucking in a breath and jabbing a finger at Zack's face.  
"We don't need words!"  
With that, the blond turned sharply for the kitchen, only to nearly bump into a certain brunet, who was looking particularly sexy that morning. Maybe it was the pajamas; Cloud had a thing for pajamas. Or maybe it was the whole "I own you" look Leon had going on with his eyes. Cloud couldn't be exactly sure.

"Good morning." The brunet stated with a wide grin, proud of himself for remembering the English salutation, despite how his accent weighed it down. The dispute from just moments ago was forgotten as Cloud smiled back at the man, returning the greeting and blushing furiously as Leon gave him a quick and unexpected peck on the lips.  
Zack grinned at the display and forced himself to roll his eyes for Cloud's benefit. The blond stuck out his tongue as Leon yawned at moved to the couch, trailing his fingers along the blond's arm as he walked past. As Cloud stared at his still-tingling skin, Zack released a loud groan of despair.  
"Okay, fine! I'm jealous!"

Zack huffed and Leon looked up at him, seeming to ask him what was wrong without having to say it. Sighing, the raven-haired man plunked down next to him, giving the brunet a serious look. Slowly he raised his left hand, pointing first at the door that led to the two Germans' bedroom. After holding his finger in that direction long enough, he brought it to point at his own heart, before making a pained face and slapping both hands over his eyes and flopping backwards on the sofa.  
This caused the brunet to chuckle and look around the living room. After a few moments of searching, he located his, by now, well used note pad and pen.  
He scribbled something quickly before prodding the distressed man next to him with it. Zack lifted his hands from his face and lifted his head, awkwardly trying to look over his body at what was poking him. Sitting up stiffly, the dark haired man smiled and accepted the paper.

"_You like Seph, yes_?"  
Zack smiled at the note and snorted in the back of his throat. He looked up at Leon and nodded, and the scarred man took the note pad back, lifting his pen to write something else.  
'_I can help you. You want_?'

Zack's eyes widened as he read the words, a monstrous smile already spreading over his face. Was the brunet really offering his aid, like… an alliance? This would be perfect; having an inside source helping him on his quest for love! Or sex. Whatever came first. Either way, there was no way he could turn this down. Hastily he took the pen and jotted on the paper, handing it to other.

_'Be my cupid and I'll tell you how to get in Cloud's pants.'_  
Confused at first, it only took a few pages flipped in the German to English dictionary for it to make perfect sense to Leon . Of course, it only went down hill from there, or at least from Cloud's prospective. The blond had been watching ever since Zack finally admitted his envy over the relationship that he and Leon were beginning. He continued to stare as both men passed the pad of paper back and forth, grinning deviously and consulting the dictionary every so often.

"What are you guys talking about?" It finally ate up at him; he had to ask. He was rewarded with two sets of eyes, both filled with evil mirth and conspiracy.

"Nothin." Was his only answer, so generously provided from the black haired man as he scribbled something down, causing the neighboring brunet to nod and 'hmm' thoughtfully.' Cloud glared as Zack waved him off and went back to playing Secret Sally with Leon . Less than amused at being dismissed so carelessly, Cloud stared suspiciously at the two a moment longer before quietly turning away and heading towards what used to be Zack's bedroom door. Upon reaching it, he gave a quick look over his shoulder, satisfied that they weren't paying attention before rapping softly on the door and slipping inside.

Sephiroth, who had not been expecting an unannounced guest, looked up with annoyed eyes at whoever had interrupted him from his morning snack. He was surprised to see that it was Cloud, as the blond had not entered the room once since the two had moved in.

"Something is going on out there, and I don't—" Cloud trailed off as his eyes fell upon Sephiroth's hand's, or rather, what he was holding. It didn't look like any sort of food he had ever seen before, that was for sure.

"…What are you eating?" The blond asked, though unsure if he really wanted to know after the Bisquick ordeal. At his question, Sephiroth looked down before shrugging and taking a bite.  
"A candy bar."

Cloud stared as the man chewed a bite, his lips parting slightly as he started to speak before stopping himself. He went through this pattern several times as he watched Sephiroth finish off the strange looking food before he picked up another one from a paper plate.

"That is not a candy bar." Cloud finally stated matter-of-factly, now confident in himself that it really was not a candy bar. He took several steps into the room to stand next to the silver haired man, who was seated on the bed.  
Sephiroth regarded the strange food a bit before holding it out to the blond.  
"You vant to try?"

Cloud regarded the thing wearily, hesitant in what he should do. It was a brown, crystallized looking item in the shape of a rectangle, probably about four inches in length and one in width. On one hand, he was dying to know what it was, and Sephiroth seemed to be enjoying it. On the other…well, Sephiroth seemed to be enjoying it.  
Finally shaking his head, Cloud sighed and accepted what was being offered, holding eye contact with Sephiroth before steeling himself and taking a bite.  
At the word 'candy bar,' Cloud had been expecting something relatively solid. This was, however, obviously not the case, as his teeth slid effortlessly into it and a decent sized piece broke off into his mouth. While it was unidentifiable to the eye, the tongue was another matter entirely. It took Cloud all of two seconds to realize he had just taken a large bite of cooking margarine.

"This is straight butter! This is just a stick of butter rolled in brown sugar!" When Sephiroth didn't deny the claim, Cloud felt his stomach drop, absolutely repulsed that he had just ingested almost a third of a stick of butter. He could already feel his cholesterol rising, and he knew his arteries were clotting as he spoke.

Sephiroth only stared before he took the stick of margarine back, quickly finishing the rest before dropping his paper plate in the trash can.  
"You are here for a reason?"

Cloud continued to stare at the man before finally shaking his head. There was, after all, no chance of winning a staring contest against Sephiroth.

"Zack and Leon are…being weird."  
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.  
"Veird?"

The blond nodded, trying not to crack a smile at the man's heavy accent.  
"Yea. Veird." Cloud's hand instantly flew to his mouth as he uttered the word. He was in sheer horror as he quickly realized that this wouldn't even mark the first time he had accidentally mocked the man's accent. You would think he would have more control over his tongue than this. Sephiroth only rolled his eyes at the panicked expression on Cloud's face as he unfolded his long legs and stood from the bed. Stretching momentarily, he straightened and awkwardly patted Cloud on the shoulder.

"Is okay. I zon't care if you do zat. I know you don't mean anyzing for it."  
Cloud nodded with a small smile, still feeling guilty for his mistake.

"Anyvay, zey are being….ott?" In his attempt to use a different word for the blond, Sephiroth's pronunciation seemed to leave Cloud not only confused, but even more embarrassed.  
Cloud hated the thought of having to ask the man to repeat himself. He always felt so rude and ignorant when he couldn't understand any sort of accent. He maintained his silence as he tried his hardest to filter through what Sephiroth could have possibly just asked him. From his point of view, it sounded like Sephiroth had just asked if Leon and Zack were being 'hot.' Which they were, he supposed, though they just had better not been being hot together.  
A few seconds passed and Cloud gave up, feeling like a complete jackass.  
"I'm sorry..Are they being what?"

Sephiroth lowered his jaw, sighing as he looked Cloud in the eyes. He shook his head at the shorter boy before standing straight and moving for the door.

"Let's go see zem, ja?"  
Not waiting for an answer, Sephiroth smirked as he left the guilt-ridden blond in his room, listening shortly to hear Cloud's hurried foot steps scuttle to keep up with him.  
Upon reentering the living room, Cloud found Zack and Leon to still be passing their notes, though now each new message was rewarded with a sneaky laugh.

"Und vat are you doing?"  
Zack glanced upwards to see Sephiroth and Cloud both standing with their arms crossed on the other side of the coffee table. He gave the two a winning smile before he looked over at Leon, who gave him a knowing grin and leaned back against the sofa.

"We're just bonding, ya know."  
Sephiroth regarded the man skeptically while Cloud heard all of the Zack alarms in his head going off.  
The silver haired man stared at Zack a few moments longer before shifting his gaze to rest on his younger cousin, who was doing his best job to look casual and disinterested.

"**Do I even want to know what you two are doing?"**

Leon let a smirk slip as he spared his elder cousin a fleeting glance before his eyes fell onto an empty fish down across the room.  
**"Why do you think they keep an empty fish tank?"**  
Sephiroth glared at Leon 's pathetic attempt to change the topic.  
Meanwhile, Cloud leveled Zack with his own glare, beckoning the older boy to him.

"I'm going to ask you again. What are you doing."  
"But you never asked me to begin with. You asked if you wanted to know what we were doing."  
The brunet yawned, ignoring the outraged expression on Sephiroth's face.  
**"But if you must know."** He began, as he stood from the couch. His tone of voice had pulled away both Zack and Cloud's attention, as the man kept talking in very offhanded way to Sephiroth, who was obviously not appreciating it.  
**"We were discussing baking techniques, and trading a few recipes. You know, man talk."**  
Sephiroth was quickly losing patience with his cousin. How dare he talk to him like he was a child. And to lie straight to his face as well. Leon watched as Sephiroth's eyes dropped to the coffee table, where the note pad lay innocently. The brunet had a fleeting moment of panic when he watched Sephiroth take a step forward. Quickly, Leon snatched the note pad and held it behind his back, using his other hand to wag a finger at his cousin.  
**"Sorry. Classified."**

Cloud and Zack watched in amazement as Sephiroth gained a very menacing aura and took another step towards Leon, who in turn, made a dash around the table. Sephiroth's arm flew out, snatching Leon by his hair and ripped the man to him, pulling the brunet's back to his chest and wrapping one arm around the man's torso to prevent his escape, the other still keeping its painful grip on his hair.

"**Now I am asking you again, smart ass. What are you doing."**  
The words came out in a very threatening hiss. Leon scowled at his unappealing predicament, wondering his chances of actually managing to escape at this point. His gaze fell upon Zack and Cloud, who were just standing side by side by the television, seemingly hypnotized by the scene before them.

"…**Let go of me and I'll tell you."**  
Sephiroth rolled his eyes. Like he was going to buy that. Leon grunted his disappointment; he hadn't exactly expected that to work. Tired of dealing with his cousin, Sephiroth bowed his head, seeing the note pad still clutched in Leon 's hand. He released his hold on the brunet's hair in favor of reaching for the paper, only for Leon to swing his head back and head butt him in the face.  
Everyone in the room was shocked as Sephiroth froze, slowly lifting a hand to his already bleeding nose as Leon quickly shoved the notepad in the front of his pants.  
The brunet realized, unwittingly, that had not only had he just drawn blood from his older cousin, but he was still locked against the other man's body. Basically, he was still in 'swinging ' range. Well shit.  
Amazingly enough, Sephiroth released him and took a few steps back, his eyes even greener against the contrast of the blood pouring from his nose.  
Leon noticed, with a sense of fear that Sephiroth's eyes were on his crotch.  
**"If you don't think I will reach down your goddamn pants to get that, you're wrong."**

Stalking furiously towards his younger cousin, Sephiroth took advantage of the other man's shock and grabbed his arm; the other had resting on Leon 's hip.  
Behind him, he vaguely heard Zack's proclamation of "No fucking way!"

"**Last chance, being after this you are getting your ass kicked despite your answer. You're cooperation will just decide how badly it ends for you. Give me the paper."**

Leon, not exactly wanting his cousin's hand in his pants for any reason, noticed Zack waving his arms frantically behind Sephiroth's back. Quickly looking down, the brunet sighed heavily, feigning defeat before reaching into his pants, only to remove the note pad and quickly throw it to Zack, who shoved it down his own pants and gave Sephiroth a suggestive look.

Sliding his eyes closed, Sephiroth's breathing grew heavy around the blood in his nostrils. Opening them, he glared hatefully at Zack before shaking his head.  
"Keep it. I zon't vant it."

Zack pouted and Cloud punched him in the arm before hesitantly making his way to stand next to Sephiroth. Leon and Zack both glared as Sephiroth allowed the blond to touch his face and lead him in to the kitchen, Cloud intending to give the man an icepack for his nose.

Jealousy aside, Leon suddenly began to feel very guilt about what he had done. Not only that, but he recalled Sephiroth's threat of retaliation. He shook his head at Zack, who sighed in response.  
The raven haired man removed the note pad and held it away from him, wondering if any of them would ever want to use that particular one again.  
Shaking his head as well, he tossed the paper back on the couch behind him, motioning for Leon to come along as he headed toward the kitchen.

Inside, Cloud was digging through the freezer while Sephiroth was bent over the sink, pooling water in his hands and splashing it onto his face repeatedly. Leon felt guilty all over again at the bloody rag on the counter and he moved to stand beside his cousin.

"**I'm really sorry, Seph."**  
Sephiroth turned his head in the sink to glare at his cousin before resuming his washing. Leon frowned and pushed off of the counter and took a seat at the kitchen table. Zack decided to try his luck.

"That kind of got out of hand. Leon and I had just been planning a…" Zack thought back at the tips Leon had given him. The brunet had said to use either large, complicated words or lots of slang, since Sephiroth would likely not know them, and wouldn't dare ask what he meant.  
"A celebratory outing. Just for congratulatory purposes in response to our efforts. You know," he continued, deciding to ramble on until Sephiroth was talked in circles.  
"Just find a nice joint to chill at for a few, maybe catch give a few peeps a ring to come with and all that jazz. No sense in staying cooped up in the crib twenty-four seven."

Sephiroth wiped his face with his hands as he stood up straight, turning off the sink.  
He stared at Zack for a few moments, the blank expression never leaving his face. Zack was pretty sure he saw a trace of confusion before Leon 's voice broke out.

"**What did he just say? I can't understand him."  
**The silver-headed man tossed the brunet a lost glance.  
**"I have no clue…something about catching colds and ringing jazz. Then something in regard the dimensions of a child's bed. I'm not even going to try."**  
Leon looked thoughtful for a moment before responding.  
**"Pity."**  
Sephiroth rolled his eyes and moved over towards the cupboard. Nothing cured confusion like Pop Tarts.

Zack was about to go in for round two of word-games when Cloud seized him by the arm.

"What are you trying to do?!" he hissed. "I have no friggen idea what you just said, so I know he didn't. Are you trying to screw him up? The poor bastard's probably already dizzy from blood loss; don't drive him to black out, please."  
Zack only grinned, handing over the much sought-after note pad before joining Leon at the table.  
Cloud watched the black-haired man walk away before inspecting the note pad, his eyes widening with every word he read.  
He read one particular line that made his jaw drop before he whipped his head up to gape at Zack.  
"And how do YOU know how to get into my pants?!"

When he was only met with a smile, the blond gave up and resumed his reading. Lucky for Zack, the blond didn't hear his low mutter of 'who doesn't?'  
It didn't take him long to read it all, though when he finished, he had to admit, he was a little excited. He tried to suppress a grin as he glanced sneakily at Sephiroth, who was using the toaster, before joining the other two at the table.

"A double date, huh?" He asked, quietly. Zack's lips split into a huge smile and he gave Leon a thumbs up, causing the brunet to smirk.  
Cloud tried not to feel too giddy at the thought of going on an actual date with Leon , though it was becoming increasingly difficult. He hadn't been on a date in such a long time, and certainly never on one with someone like Leon . No one he had ever met could compare to the man, physically or otherwise, though the blond felt like he had barely cracked the surface of the strange brunet…God damn language barrier.  
The blond was pulled from his musing as he noticed Zack tried to motion towards him with out being noticed. Confused, Cloud looked at Leon, who seemed to be trying not to grin as he cleared his throat.  
"Wha—"  
"Shut up, Cloud. You'll like this."  
After silencing Cloud, Zack sat back, watching Leon .

"You look fery sexy zis evening, Clowt." Cloud felt his cheeks burning at the compliment, his mind wrapping around the adorable mispronunciation of his name. No, no, not mispronunciation …'Cultural Enhancement.' He looked back up as Leon continued, as he had taken a short pause to concentrate.  
"Vould you like to joi…" at Zack's hasty nod of approval, Leon assured himself and went on.  
"Join me for launch."  
At the word 'launch', Cloud's head danced with perverted scenarios, and none of them including a rocket shuttle. He only settled his thoughts when he heard Zack clear his throat in an exaggerated manner. In the corner of his eye, Cloud saw the raven-haired man knock his spoon to the floor and bend out of his seat to retrieve it. Once his face was out of eye sight, Cloud heard him mutter softly.  
"Lunch, not launch."

Cloud made a small 'o' face, grateful for Zack's interpretation. He really needed to get better at deciphering accents…Granted, Leon's was much worse than Sephiroth's, as the silver haired man was at least slightly well-versed in the English language.  
He looked back to see Leon staring at him intently, looking a tad concerned that he had said the wrong thing, although he and Zack had gone over it at least a dozen times.  
Cloud didn't try to halt the genuine smile blossoming on his face; a smile that Leon realized would never cease to increase his heartbeat.

"Ja." He answered, trying to keep a straight face, but ultimately failing at the silly grin that broke out on Leon 's.

"**Congratulations. Now you're an idiot with a date."**  
Sephiroth set his pop tart plate down on the table before taking a seat with the other three, his insult doing little to lessen Leon 's mood. To be completely honest, the brunet was fighting arousal at hearing Cloud's slight attempt at a German accent. In his mind, he was wondering just how to get the blond to say other things, other much nastier, raunchy things.  
Grey eyes lifted, while he was on that thought, to meet vibrant green, or at least he should have. Instead he was met with the pasty pink top of a pop tart blocking his cousin's face. Rolling his eyes, he spoke anyway.

"**Will you teach Cloud to talk dirty to me?"**  
Two sets of eyes watched as the pop tart smacked against the table, half of it breaking off and falling into Sephiroth's lap as said man stared stunned at Leon . Zack brought a hand to his mouth to cover his smile, horribly amused at the expression on Sephiroth's face. The man looked absolutely terrified and disgusted. Actually, he looked a little freaked out.

"**Why? Why would you need that? You two aren't having sex are you? When would you have found the time to have sex? You didn't. You wouldn't'? Not already..."**  
Sephiroth rounded his questions to Cloud now, confusing everyone with the sudden shift from German to English without a breath to separate it.  
"Have you two had sex?"

Zack couldn't stop the sharp laugh that sprung from him and Cloud's eyes widened, his lips parting in his surprise. By now Leon was also laughing at the rare mild panic attack his cousin seemed to be suffering.

"N-No!"  
Cloud sputtered in his dazed confusion, having been completely caught off guard by Sephiroth's forceful questioning. His answer seemed to quell the silver haired man, as he nodded slowly, holding Cloud's gaze for a moment longer before finally looking into his lap with dismay, displeased that he had dropped and mangled his strawberry Pop Tart.

"**You're a freak, you know that?"**  
Sephiroth didn't look away from the Pop Tart as he gently lifted it to his plate, careful not to disfigure it further.  
**"You're disgusting. The only thing I am teaching that boy to say is 'No.'"**  
Leon chuckled at his cousin's protective nature, always amused by Sephiroth's strange views on sexual activity. When it came to his sex, his cousin could be such a woman about it. Needing to be sure that it was right with where and with who and all of that shit that Leon didn't so much fret over. The brunet knew that he was growing very swiftly attached to Cloud, and that was all that mattered to him. In his opinion, he needed to be more physical with the blond, as it was really the only way to let the man know he had feelings for him.  
Cloud and Zack watched as Sephiroth and Leon continued to speak softly back and forth, seeming to be arguing about something or another. You could never really tell with those two. Unless they were having a particularly bad fight, they tended to argue and have their minor squabbles in a very neutral tone of voice. Of course, living with the two had taught Cloud and Zack to just assume, that if the two were talking, they were probably arguing about something.

"So, Sephiroth?" Cloud began, deciding to go ahead and get what needed to be discussed out of the way.  
"I believe what Zack was saying, or was trying to say, was that we are all going out to lunch this afternoon. Do you want to go? You and Leon can pick where we eat."  
At the mention of food, Sephiroth surrendered his full attention to the blond, laying his Pop Tart back on his plate.  
"Ja, I go."

Funny, Zack had thought it would be harder than that. After watching the tall man's habits, it would seem Cloud knew better.

----------------------

On the way to the restaurant, it would turn out that Cloud and Zack made the fatal mistake of driving past the ocean, to which both Sephiroth and Leon instantly shut up and glued themselves to the window.

"**It's so pretty.."** Leon almost cooed, memorized by the waves and ripples as the car drove along the bridge.  
**"I know…"** Sephiroth answered quietly, also unable to take his gaze from the water.

The two usually stern men continued to gaze out of the car windows, Leon from the front passenger seat, and Sephiroth in the seat right behind him. Cloud, who was driving, and Zack, who was all too happy to sit with Seph, were in awe of the fact that the two were in awe. Smiling, Zack unbuckled his seatbelt and slid across the seat to lean past Sephiroth to look out the window as well.  
"You guys like the beach, huh?"

Sephiroth nodded slowly, keeping his eyes trained on the water and the random barges floating across it, sad to see that they were almost over the bridge. Zack took a moment to enjoy being this close to the other man, noting the smell of shampoo that perpetually clung to the silver-haired man before meeting Cloud's eyes in the rearview mirror.  
"I bet after lunch we could make a stop at the beach. What do you think, Cloud?"

The blond gave the man next to him a short look before meeting Zack's eyes again in the mirror with a smile.  
"I think we could manage that."

------

"All right, I will be right out with your drinks, just review your menus and order when you're ready!" The cheery waitress bounded off, no doubt to brag to the rest of the staff that she was the lucky one to cater to a group of four gorgeous men that evening.  
They were seated in a bench; Cloud and Leon one side and Sephiroth and Zack on the other. There was quite a large possibility that the only reason Sephiroth allowed for this seating arrangement was because he still did not know this was expected to be a 'date.'  
They had chosen to eat at a place called McGuire's Irish Pub, a dimly lit, four-star restaurant known for their unique atmosphere, as well as strange menu items. Every inch of wall and ceiling in the place was covered in one dollar bills, each bill sporting the name of its original owner.  
Since entering, Zack had counted at least six other "Zacks," though five of them had been spelled with a "C-H."

"Bet there's not a "Cloud" dollar in here." Cloud mock-glared at the raven haired man before smiling and picking up his menu.  
"Probably not. You guys know what you want?"

Looking over, Cloud saw the cutest display he had seen all day. Leon and Sephiroth were both leaned over the table, meeting half way with a menu placed down between them. Leon would point to a random menu item and Sephiroth would mutter back, presumably telling Leon what it was. Zack was making no attempt to disguise the fact that he was staring at Sephiroth's ass and lower back due to the taller man's awkward position.  
It was when Leon pointed to one particular menu item that Sephiroth froze, his eyes scanning over the entry several times before he raised his wide eyes to Leon 's in disbelief.  
Slowly, he went back to a natural sitting position before turning to Zack and pulling at his arm to point to his menu.  
"The Sundae Burger?" Zack asked. He made a slightly disgusted face before he looked back up to Sephiroth, who looked like he what he was about to ask would either make or break him.

"Ist dat….really vat it is? Ist….choco-latt on hamburger? Und ice cream?"  
Zack gave the man a strange look and nodded.  
"Yea, that's pretty much all it is. I don't know why it's on the menu, I doubt anyone ever orders—"  
"I vant zat."  
Ignoring Zack's surprised expression, he looked and Leon and nodded.

"**It's what it says it is. I love America ."**  
Leon looked around.  
**"This looks like an Irish place to me."  
**Sephiroth nodded.  
**"I love the Irish."**

----

After about twenty minutes of Cloud and Zack watching Leon and Sephiroth mutter back and forth about something while they pushed around the ice cubes in their drinks, their food finally arrived. Cloud got his food first; a massive platter of chicken fingers that made him wish he had ordered off the kids menu. Though judging by the way Sephiroth was looking at his tray, he suspected he would have plenty of help finishing them off, should he need it.  
Leon and Zack both got average hamburgers of some sort, though they were enormous in size. What made everyone's stomach turn, however, was when the waitress set down Sephiroth's platter. It was, indeed, a hamburger bun and patty smothered in vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup.  
Eyeing his cousin's misplaced smile, Leon only shook his head. He didn't bother insulting the man's unusual tastes, as he had grown more than used to it by now. Zack and Cloud, however, could not rip their eyes away. The silver haired man just stared down at the messy creation on his plate, trying to figure out just what anomaly of a human being had the brilliance of designing such a spectacular meal, and better yet, why he had never thought of it.

"**I would say stop staring and eat it before it gets cold….but…"  
**Sephiroth looked at Leon briefly before grinning and lifting a fork, politely cutting a piece away from the whole and taking his first bite. As Sephiroth but the food in his mouth, Cloud had to look away. Ice cream and chocolate just didn't belong on beef. The only thing keeping him from being completely ill was the fact that he didn't know for sure if there were any pickles or ketchup on it as well.  
As Sephiroth continued to scarf down the disgusting burger, politeness long since cast aside in favor of feeding his more primal urges, Cloud looked at Zack.

"That's the nastiest thing I've ever seen."  
The raven-haired man sighed, taking a bite of his own burger, looking back at Sephiroth and chewing thoughtfully before swallowing.  
"I know."  
Cloud continued to stare in disgust as well.  
"You like him."  
Zack nodded this time.  
"I know."  
The blond watched as Sephiroth licked his lower lip clean from the drip of chocolate that had fallen on it. He had finished his entire hamburger and was now dragging his fries through the excess syrup.

"You want to kiss him, don't you?"  
Again, Zack nodded.  
"I know."

Cloud shook his head and turned to see how Leon was faring. The brunet had gotten halfway through his mondo-burger and seemed to be taking a break to watch his cousin devour everything on his plate.

"**Is it good?"**  
Sephiroth looked up from double coating a french-fry in chocolate and ice cream.  
**"Words can not explain my elation. Would you like to try a chocolate fry?"  
**The silver-haired man held out the covered fry to his cousin, who tilted his head before reaching to accept it, much to Cloud's horror.  
He popped it in his mouth and chewed it slowly, swallowing before looking back at his cousin.  
**"It's okay. I still think the whole concept is nasty, though. It bothers me to know that someone out there would make and enjoy a food as nauseating as you would."**

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and began on the last of his fries. Looking down at his own plate, Leon realized that he still had half a burger left and he already felt full enough to be sick. The portions here were ridiculous. It's like they thought everyone was like Seph.  
Snickering at the thought of a bunch of red-headed, freckled, potato-toting 'Sephiroth's' sitting around and planning a restaurant, Leon picked up his hamburger and casually dropped it on his cousin's plate. Sephiroth did not even bat an eye as he picked it up and made short work of it. Cloud watched all of this with a sick fascination, wondering just how much the man could actually eat before he either got full or threw up.  
Zack, who seemed not all that bothered by the fact that his current object of affection was eating more than a four hundred pound man, took the final bite of his burger and slid his plate of fries over to the silver haired man and began fishing threw his pathetically thin wallet for a couple of ones.  
Try as he might, Zack only came up with two, and for the life of him could not convince the bills to duplicate themselves.  
"Hey Cloud? Do you have two ones? If you don't we can just let those two do it, but I kind of want to, too."  
Cloud looked around and the hundreds of name-bearing dollars and gave his friend a sad look.  
"I'm paying with the card. I didn't bring any cash."

Finishing off Zack's French fries, Sephiroth picked up his napkin and gave his face a much needed wipe and looked at Leon.  
**"Why do they need money? I'm not fucking doing dishes."  
**Leon gave his cousin a ridiculing look.  
**"How would I know, I just sit here and look pretty. If I had to use my imagination, however…"** He drawled off and looked around him  
**"I would say they wanted to staple their perfectly good currency to the wall."**

Sephiroth raised an eye brow, unsure why you would just stick money to wall because you got to Sharpe your name to it before shaking his head and digging into his pocket.

"Vill zese vork? I zon't have any American dollar on me, only few Euros I did not exchange."  
Zack picked up one of the bills curiously, eyeing it as he turned it around in his hands.

"I don't see why they wouldn't…" He smiled as Sephiroth handed him the other One as well, trading him and Cloud the two Euros for the two American bills that he and Leon would use. Kind of a weird culture trade, in his eyes.

As the waitress returned to give them the bill, she eyed the four finished bills curiously. She gave Cloud a funny look as she reached into her apron for a stapler.  
"Your name is 'Cloud?'" She giggled as he groaned her smile faltering as she picked up Sephiroth's. She gave it a strange stare before looking at the four of them and shaking her head and stapling the money to the wall.

----

Having narrowly escaped without being forced to kiss the moose (a restaurant tradition in which any customer could kiss the nose of a stuffed moose for good luck), Cloud counted his blessings and pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road, careful not to park too much of the car in the soft, white sand. He really wasn't in the mood to have to push it out later.  
Before the car even pulled to a complete stop Leon and Sephiroth were already out of the car, taking their first step on the sand, freezing as they looked down at their feet.  
It didn't take long for them to discard their shoes and shocks, curiously studying the feeling of the sand on their feet.  
Zack, who had just worn flip flops to begin with, kicked his off and got out of the car, walking around to join the two hypnotized youths. The raven haired man bent down and stared at Cloud through the car window, motioning for him to hurry up and get out.  
The blond shook his head as he popped off his seat belt. He really didn't see the big deal with the beach. It was just a bunch of nasty sand on a bunch of nasty water. Not only that, but it was basically almost winter, it wasn't even beach-going weather. He flinched as he stepped out of the car, the sharp wind chilling him as soon as he was in the open. He shivered visibly and laughed, walking around the front of the car to stand by Zack as he watched the two Germans make their way down towards the water. They were walking while staring at their feet, seemingly unused to the strange sinking and sliding sensation of walking barefoot in the fine, white sand.

"I hate the beach." Zack stated with a huge smile.  
"Me too." Cloud agreed, grabbing Zack's arm and pulling him after the two ahead of them.

Upon reaching the waters edge, Leon and Sephiroth broke out into fascinated smiles all over again. They stood side by side, letting the water wash up to the angles before the tide went out, causing their feet to sink into the wet sand, only to be buried further as the tide came back in. Meanwhile, Zack and Cloud stood farther back, practically clinging together for warmth as they watched the two freaks of nature, who seemed unbothered by the cold.

"I don't get it, its friggen sub-zero out here."  
Cloud rolled his eyes at Zack's over-exageration.  
"It's not that cold, it's…" a particualty cruel breeze pushed past them, this one carrying a slight mist of ocean water.  
"Holy Christ, its freezing!"

He noticed Zack halt from his quest for warmth, the body next to him stilling before the raven haired man shook his arm.  
"Look, look!"  
The blond followed his finger to Leon, who was staring at Sephiroth, who had walked out to shin deep water, doing his best to gather his hair up to prevent it from being drenched. It was the way that Leon was watching him though, that was cause for alarm. It was that same look that Cloud could remember giving his little brother every time they went to the beach. It was the same look Leon had given Sephiroth at the fair before he blew the funnel cake everywhere.  
Shit, they didn't have any towels. This wasn't going to end well.

Sure enough, the two boys watched enraptured as the brunet slinked up beside his cousin, giving Sephiroth a large shove before jolting for the sand, sparing a glance over his shoulder as the other man hit the water.  
Cloud's hand flew to his mouth for the second time that day, shocked even though he had seen it coming. Zack groaned next to him, obviously feeling Sephiroth's pain.  
As the silver haired man pulled himself up from water, which had suddenly gotten lot colder, he looked positively miserable. Not only did he look miserable, he looked pissed. Through this, he made to move to chase after his cousin, probably to cold and stiff to really move. He only began to slowly trudge his way back to the shore, where he was met half way by Zack.

"I'm going to kill him. Tell Cloud I am sorry, I know he liked him, God only knows vhy. But he deserves dead."

Zack cringed as Sephiroth stiffly took a hold of his long hair, pulling it over his shoulder and ringing it out. The dark-haired man bit his lip to stop a smile as reached out and plucked a piece of seaweed from the man's hair, feeling nothing but sympathy. And maybe some arousal. Yes, definitely some arousal. The way Sephiroth's cloths were clinging him was not lost on Zack.

Cloud shook his head at Leon, who would cackle every time he cast his elder cousin a look. The brunet had taken to keeping about fifteen feet away, not seeming to worry about the fact that he was going to be stuck in the car with the man for the next twenty minutes.

"**You look like a wet dog."**  
Sephiroth glared from his long process of straining out his hair, scowling at the stiffening salty feel it was taking on as it got drier.  
**"When I'm done with you, I don't think you will be comparable to anything."  
**It was hard to sound threatening when your teeth were set of clattering together from the cold, and your whole body was shaking. He was hoping that maybe it looked like he were shaking with rage, which he would have been had he not been on the verge of hypothermia.  
He was pulled from his thoughts as he felt Zack wrap an arm around him, confused why the dark haired man would get himself wet by touching him, though unable to argue with the warmth he was offering.

"Let's go home so you can get changed. Don't want you to catch a cold. I don't think you'd look too hot with a runny nose."  
Zack smiled at him, ignoring Cloud's disgusted look.

Upon returning the car, Zack got in to the back seat first, taking off his jacket and tossing in back before patting his lap. Three sets of disbelieving eyes fell upon him. Surely he didn't expect Sephiroth to actually sit in his lap, although, Cloud noted with a half-smirk, it would probably be very warm there.  
Along with wide eyes, two sets of jaws fell as the silver-haired man ducked to get into the car, complying and pulling himself into Zack's lap.  
Zack had a positively unbearable smile as Sephiroth settled on him, sitting side ways and clinging for some sort of heat.  
Cloud shook his head and walked around the car to get in the drivers seat, belting up before looking out the window where Leon was still standing, staring shrewdly at his cousin. Never in a million years had he imagined he would ever see that man in someone else's lap. Leon couldn't help but go through all the ways to make fun of him later as he finally shook off the disbelief and got into the car, hoping that Zack would use his obviously powerful persuasion to keep his cousin from hurting him on the way home.

It was half way home that Cloud nearly wrecked the vehicle, ripping it across a lane of traffic with a loud scream of "HOLY SHIT!"  
Zack did his best to keep Sephiroth from flying through the windshield as they pulled over on the side of the road.  
"Jesus Christ, Cloud! What, was there a fucking child in the road?!"  
"THANKSGIVING IS IN TWO DAYS!"

Resettling a startled and still shivering Sephiroth against him, Zack gave Cloud and incredulous look.  
"There for we must perish in auto accident? I don't get it."

"**Lunatic."** Sephiroth muttered, causing Leon to give a sleepy laugh.  
**"He's cute though."**

----

Two days. For two days Cloud had been blockading himself in the kitchen, only coming out to sleep, use the bathroom, and yell at Zack for being so useless. Yep, around holiday season, Cloud could be a total bitch. Much to the relief of everyone in the household, it was Thanksgiving afternoon and the cooking was almost finished.

"I don't get it, Cloud. You do this every year. You always let Thanksgiving sneak up on you, and then you throw a total fit and stress over it. It always works out, yet you still always panic. Is there some sort of underlying issue we need to get to?"  
The blond ignored Zack as he took a much needed seat on the couch.  
"There is no underlying issue, Zack. I just hate doing things at the last minute."  
Zack looked to his side.  
"You had two days."  
The blond nodded and sighed, reclining backwards.  
"I know."  
Zack shook his head, sitting up to reach for a magazine.  
"It's not like our guests are going to freak out on you if don't have everything done, either. For God's sake, we have the same two people over every year, I think they would understand. It's just Reno and Axel."  
Cloud smiled, laughing as memories of past Thanksgivings crossed his mind. It was true, every year Axel and Reno just sort of showed up at their house. There was no real reason for it, as there was never an invitation laid down. It was just how it went, it was an unspoken tradition that they all understood. Axel and Reno didn't even really like each other all that much. They got along well enough, but they would trash talk the other as soon as they left the room. This year, though, they had three new people coming. Along with Sephiroth and Leon, Sephiroth had invited Zexion over. Zack hadn't been too keen on the idea at first, though after his car ride home with Seph in his lap, he felt a little less threatened by the purple haired youth. He was also unbearably cocky for the next couple of days, though Seph was sure to shoot him down several times for good measure.

"What time do you think they'll get here?"  
Cloud shrugged, his eyes falling to rest exactly where Zack's were. On the floor on the other side of the coffee table, Sephiroth and Leon were sitting Indian style on the floor with a Scrabble board. They had been at the game for quite some time, sitting and playing the game with vulgar German words. Actually, if Leon was able to correctly spell an English word, he got his points in triple.  
Cloud looked to see that the brunet had managed to correctly spell out the entire word "Motherfucker" with a satisfied smirk. At this, Sephiroth gave him an approving nod before placing a 'C' above the 'U' in Leon 's 'fucker' and a 'N-T' below it.  
Leon stared at it before looking it up in the dictionary, giving Sephiroth an impressed look when he found it.

"Ew. Nice one. Where did you learn that?"  
Sephiroth pointed at the television across the room before withdrawing a few letters to replace his used ones, giving Leon some as well, as the brunet constantly forgot to do so. Leon nodded and thanked him for the wooden squares.

"Wanna play Go Fish while we wait?"  
Cloud's trance was broken at Zack's question, looking over to see the other man holding a deck of cards he must have dug out of the sofa cushions.  
"Sure."  
It took Zack about ten minutes to actually hand out the cards, as he never was one for talented shuffling. It took another ten minutes before the game got old.

"Do you have any twos?" Zack asked form behind his dwindling hand of cards.  
"Go Fish." Cloud replied, looking bored. "Any fives?" Zack huffed as he threw a five at Cloud. "Any….a-a" Cloud paused holding up a hand letting out a loud sneeze.  
"Gesunsheit." Zack said without missing a beat. Leon and Sephiroth who had been talking quietly to themselves suddenly whipped around and stared at Zack and Cloud. Cloud looked up from behind his hands, his eyes flickering from Zack to Leon and Sephiroth. An awkward silence settled over the room. Zack cleared his throat.  
"So…got any sevens?"  
Fortunately, the two were saved from the close watching eyes when they heard a knock on the door, as well as loud voices behind it.  
"That's Axel and Reno ." Cloud said hurriedly, tossing his cards to Zack and getting up to answer the door. Some how, though the never actually came together, Axel and Reno always managed to show up at the same time. Not that Zack minded, it meant they didn't have to wait around any longer to eat, though this year they had to wait for Zexion to show up.  
As the blond opened the door, the voices grew sharper and more defined as the two loud-mouthed redheads strolled into the room, each with their own unique strut.

"Hey Zack , Leon , Other Guy." Axel waved as he greeted everyone and made his way to a chair in the living room with a lazy grin.  
Leon quickly laid down a decent sized German obscenity before looking up at Axel with a smile and returning the wave. He then turned his eyes to Reno , who had just taken a seat on the couch next to Zack, causing the dark haired man to roll his eyes. He still didn't understand why the two of them didn't get along. They were so much alike he figured they would have a wonderful relationship. Who knew, maybe they were _too _alike and just ran on each other's nerves.  
"Happy Thanksgiving, yo." He said, tipping his head. He looked around the room, watching Leon and another man playing some deranged version of Scrabble. Most of it didn't look like words, though "Motherfucker" and "Cunt" certainly caught his eye.

"Awesome. People who play Scrabble my way." He made quite an effort getting off of the couch and moving to join the two on the floor, tilting his head at Sephiroth.  
"I've met him, but I don't know you yet." He gestured to the word that Sephiroth had just placed down, unable to identify it.  
"I'm assuming you're a foreign exchange student as well?"

Sephiroth nodded, beginning the process of dumping all of his letters back into the box, having just won the game with the word "felatio". Leon pouted and began doing the same. Try as he might, he just couldn't think of a word to make with only the letters "N-D-A."

"You speak American?" Reno asked, eyeing the silver haired one curiously.  
"No, but I speak English."  
Zack laughed as Sephiroth answered with a smirk, causing Reno to fake a glare.

"Okay I deserve that one. I'm Reno ." He offered, extending his hand.  
"I'm the guy who led your little friend here to the apartment the first day you guys were here, I guess."  
Sephiroth rolled his eyes.  
"I am forefer grateful for zat. I vould be so sad if he vere to haff gotten lost. Sephiroth."  
The red head laughed at the man's obvious sarcasm, and also just enjoying the rolling accent.

"All right, Reno . It's Thanksgiving, you know what that means."  
The red head turned to Cloud, who was standing in the kitchen doorway.  
"I have a job to do!"  
Cloud smiled at Reno 's enthusiasm, gesturing for him to follow. Every year, Reno got the task of helping Cloud finish up the last minute cooking. He wasn't allowed to 'cook,' per say, but he was put in charge of things such as stirring and putting things in and taking them out of the oven.

Once inside the sanctuary of the kitchen, Cloud pulled him aside and whispered softly.  
"This year you have a new job."  
"A promotion!?" Reno joked, quieting down for Cloud to continue.  
"Not quite. You know Seph, tall guy, silver hair?" Reno rolled his eyes, wondering if the blond thought he was that dumb. Even if he hadn't met him, he could at least use process of elimination. He nodded and Cloud went on.  
"Well he's an absolute monster. Not in like….a bad way, but as in, he eats _EVERYTHING_. You have to keep him out of the kitchen."  
Giving a mock salute, the redhead moved to stand at attention by the door and Cloud raised an eyebrow as he went back to the stove. He really didn't know if anything else needed to be done. The only things still cooking were the rolls in the oven, and they didn't have too much longer to go. This would have been much easier if Reno had gotten there earlier, since the blond had had to spend a majority of his time fighting Seph off, who claimed to be "sampling"; something he had learned from watching the Food Network. Because of this man, Cloud was beginning to wonder if TV actually did have an adverse affect on society, though youth no longer seemed to be the target.  
Out in the living room, Leon had long since gotten off the floor and had taken to sitting quietly in one of the chairs. He felt rather left out, as well as out of place, as he looked at the other three in the room. Axel, Zack, and Sephiroth were all talking about something, each of them laughing, except for Sephiroth, who just smirked occasionally. Sephiroth seemed to have finally calmed down from his earlier anger towards Zack. The violet eyed man had been rambling on about something, when it struck him that the two Germans had no idea what Thanksgiving was, or that's what he thought anyway. He went into a particularly length explanation about Indians and Pilgrims, and all about food and parades. The whole while he talked very slowly, which pissed Sephiroth off rather quickly.  
It wasn't until Zack tried to really break it down for the man that Seph had lost it.  
"Basically, it's…Danke Day!" Zack had said, looking quite please with himself. Sephiroth only repeated the word flatly before his eyes narrowed, wondering why Zack thought he was that ignorant. After that, Leon had the benefit of listening to Sephiroth's five minute, one-sided rant about being treated like a moron and knowing plenty about 'Erntedankfest.' Sadly, Leon was the only one who got really _got _the benefit, since in his upset mind set, Sephiroth had delivered the entire argument in German. When the only response he had received were stupid smiles from both Zack and Axel, the silver haired man grimaced, giving up and sitting back down.

Leon sighed, bored out of his mind and feeling more than a little lonely watching the three interact. His cousin seemed to be enjoying Axel, or at least as much as Seph could enjoy anybody, and was willingly making conversation with him.  
Faintly, he could hear Cloud in the kitchen as he and Reno did God only knew what in there. Deciding he had quite enough of listening to what seemed to be Sephiroth insulting Zack and Axel's cackling laughter that followed, the brunet got up from his seat and walked over to enter the kitchen, or at least he tried to. Upon pushing the door open, he found it to be instantly slammed shut as someone or something threw their weight against it.  
"You can eat when it's ready!" It was Reno 's voice coming from directly behind the door, and he heard Cloud laugh softly.  
"I swear it won't be too much longer."

Leon let go of the door handle, wondering what in on Earth had just transpired and not fully understanding why he was being kept out. The most he could assume was that because Sephiroth had been exiled for 'snacking' and Zack for ruining things, he, too, was banned by association. He was going to turn back when the door cracked open and a single, green eye came into view.

"Oh, hey Leon ." Reno opened the door half way, looking around to make sure that the brunet wasn't being used as a distraction for his older cousin. Satisfied to see the taller man still out on the living room with Zack and Axel, the redhead opened the door fully, turning his head over his shoulder to speak to Cloud.  
"It's an Innocent."

Cloud looked up from peeking in the oven, noticing Leon and giving him a warm smile. He stood up from his knees, giving Reno an offhanded look.  
"I figured it wasn't Sephiroth. He would have probably ripped the door off the hinges at first resistance." The redheads eyes widened, giving Cloud betrayed stare.  
"You totally fed me to the wolves, yo."  
Cloud smirked before a telltale smell drifted into his nose, his blue eyes growing wide with panic.  
"Shit!"

Leon watched as the petite blond dashed back to the oven, throwing open the door and fumbling to find an oven mitt through the now billowing smoke.  
"I don't get it!" He yelled, appearing to be half bent inside the oven.  
"They were fine two seconds ago!"

Reno laughed loudly and Leon cocked his head, once again feeling left out and awkward. He understood that Cloud was busy, however, so he couldn't bring himself to hold it against him. Silently he excused himself from the kitchen as Cloud pulled his smoking bread from the heat and Reno continued laughing, the redhead finally making his way to help the blond.

When Leon reentered the other room he found that the population had rose slightly.  
**"Why is he here?" **Leon directed the question to his cousin, though Sephiroth was not the one who answered.  
**"I was invited. Happy Thanksgiving." **Zexion answered politely as he held a bowl in his arms, ignoring the ridiculing look he was receiving from Axel.  
Leon mentally berated himself, wondering why in the hell he always forgot that the purple haired boy could easily understand him. He decided to us the advice he had given Zack when it came to English and Sephiroth. From now on it was a lot of slang or a lot of really big words. Remembering that 'pterodactyl' was probably the biggest word he could properly use in a sentence, and the fact that it was universally spoken in Latin, he figured slang was his best bet.

"What is this, a fuckin' potluck?" Axel's voice broke out obnoxiously as he disregarded all personal space and manners, reaching around Zexion to lift of a tinfoil corner from the glass bowl in his arms. The tiny man only cut the redhead a glare and stepped away, tightening his hold on the dish.

"I was trying to be polite. I didn't want to show up empty handed."  
Axel cocked his head to the side, finding the purple haired boy's logic to be intriguing. He and Reno had just been showing up at this house on Thanksgiving for years now. It had never occurred to either one of them to actually bring something. He regarded Zexion in confusion and wonder for a moment longer, before the other man rolled his eyes at the scrutiny.  
"Where should I place this?"  
He was speaking to Zack now, who was also looking at him with suspicion. He was used to the empty-handed arrival of the two redheads, stumped that Zexion had the consideration to come bearing food.  
Sephiroth rolled his eyes, before looking at the kitchen door and back to the waiting man. A smirk fell over his features.

"I vill take zat to ze kitchen for you. Please, haff a seat vith zese animals." The silver haired man smiled at Zexion, the only _invited _guest, accepting the dish with and bowing his head. Internally, Sephiroth was torn completely. Take the bowl and eat it now, or use the bowl as an excuse to enter the kitchen, and eat everything else along with it. It was a difficult decision for him, ripped between instant, flawless gratification or total fulfillment, though the second choice had its chance of failure. He shook his head, his hair shaking regally as he decided to take his chances. He distantly heard Leon 's warning as he knocking politely on the kitchen door. He had seen his younger cousin's initial rejection at the door, and had devised a plan for entry.

He tried to refrain from smirking as the door cracked. As he expected, Reno peeked out at him, the eye widening in alarm before the door slammed shut.  
"Code blue!" He heard a muffled shout behind the door, rolling his eyes.  
"I haff food dat needs to go in ze fridge."

"But it's a warm dish."  
Pretending not to hear Zexion's objection, he waiting as the door cracked open once more. This time the eye was narrowed and suspicious.  
"All right, big guy. We're gonna take this nice and slow…"  
The door slowly creaked open, almost big enough to pass the bowl through, a pale hand cautiously sticking out. In the background, Cloud stopped what he was doing and stood defensively in front of the kitchen table, which held all of the finished cooking.  
"Just pass me the bowl, and—"  
As soon as the door had become wide enough to fit the food, Sephiroth spun on his heel, facing his back to the door and shoved himself against it, and having a good some fifty odd pounds of the frail redhead, knocked Reno backwards and entered the kitchen with a victorious smirk. He approached the table, were he was met with further resistance.  
"Step aside."  
Cloud crossed his arm at the 'request,' puffing up his chest.  
"No."  
Sephiroth frowned. Taking a few steps backwards, he placed the bowl on the kitchen counter before standing before Cloud once more.  
"Moof or be moved."  
Again Cloud shook his head, attempting to stare down at the other man while staring up at him.  
Faking an exhausted sigh, Sephiroth reached forward and hooked his hands under Cloud's arm pits. Easily hoisting the flailing blond into the air, he began carrying him to the other side of the kitchen, where he would prove to be a burden no longer.

"Stop! Okay, it's time to eat! Just put me down and we can all sit at the table and eat!" At first, Cloud thought his reasoning had fallen upon deaf ears, as the continued to be carried towards the kitchen door. He was confused as the silver haired man carried him into the living room, eyes widening when he was held out, away from Sephiroth's body.

"**Take this. It's time to eat."**  
Cloud didn't understand the words until he was handed off to Leon, who chuckled and gratefully accepted the blond into his arms. Cloud forced a pout, though he couldn't say he wasn't enjoying his current position. He was content as Leon carried him back to his original location, only then noticing that two of the seven people were still out in the living room, staring at the scene that had just played out. Zexion had listened to Sephiroth and followed the three into the kitchen, and was now staring at Reno , who was leaning up against the counter, rubbing the top of his head with a grimace. The blond gave the aching man a sympathizing look as he felt himself he set gently down, trying to fight the disappointment. He was pleased to find, however, that even though he had been released, Leon continued to stand behind him with his arms wrapped around him, his chin now resting on the blond's shoulder.

"Get in za kitchen. Ve're eating."  
At Sephiroth's impatient command, Zack and Axel laughed and meandered their way into the kitchen, entering to see the ungodly amount of food Cloud had prepared.  
Zack shook his head. It was a good thing Cloud only remembered two days before hand. Had they given him anymore time, the food he produced would have just been wasteful.

Everyone quickly found their own places at the kitchen table. It wasn't made to seat quite so many people, and the boys had had to relocate a few of the lawn chairs from the carwash to drag up to the room. The pool staff had long since accepted this, as the boys always seemed to return them anyway.  
Leon made sure to sit next to Cloud, as the blond was no longer busy poking his head into random, overheated kitchen appliances, much to Cloud's delight. Zack sat on the other side of the blond. The two had always sat next to each other, so there was no sense and changing that now. Axel had plopped down next to the dark haired man, and Zexion next to him. Continuing the circle, Sephiroth sat down between the purpled haired man and Reno , who was seated next to Leon .  
Zack had, at first, been unhappy that he wasn't next to Sephiroth, but he was quickly calmed when he realized that the man was now almost directly across from him, which really just allowed for better viewing.

All having found their seats, the seven men looked around at each other, seeming to expect something.  
"So." Zack leaned forward in his chair, folding his hands.  
"Who's going to say grace this year?"

"I think Seph or Leon should." Cloud quipped, the rest of the group nodding in agreement. No one ever volunteered to say Thanksgiving grace. It wasn't as though it were hard or anything, it just seemed like there was much more attention focused on it, and no one wanted to bear that responsibility.

"**Idiot. Say the blessing**."  
Leon looked up at Sephiroth, question in his eyes. He noticed everyone looking at him now, as Sephiroth had obviously pawned off the chore to him. He looked at Cloud, who smiled at him. A wicked smirk slowly spread over his lips as he straightened his gaze to the center of the table. Sephiroth regarded him in an annoyed fashion as the brunet cleared his throat and bowed his head. Everyone folded their hands and did the same. Excluding Sephiroth, of course, who was suspicious of his cousin's smirk.

"**Dear lord in heaven…"**  
At the first words, everyone already knew this was going to be the greatest Thanksgiving prayer to date. Something about Leon 's low, grumbling delivery, and the fact that the couldn't understand a word of it made it all the better. Sephiroth finally folded his own hands, bowing his head.

**"I would just like to tell how much I want to bed the man next to me. I want him to scream my name as I ram my cock in his ass, and I want him to sweat and whimper as I gently kiss his lips, letting him know that every thing will be okay and that I care deeply for him."**

Sephiroth choked on his spit loudly, causing everyone to look at him from around their prayer folding hands and dipped heads. Reno subtly reached out and patted his back, attempting to sooth his choking fit before resuming his position, feeling the power of Leon 's words of Holy wisdom.

**"After we go at it for a good ten minutes or so, I want him to flip over so that he his sitting on top of me, still being filled, and he can ride me, using my body for his own pleasure. Finally I would like us to cum at the same time, each of us exhausted and sated. Out after glow will be blissful and what not. All of this I pray to you, great Lord. Amen."**

He lifted his head, everyone else following suit slowly. His eyes quickly found his cousin's, who looked paler than usual. He smirked at the man's shock and disgust before he smugly turned his head to stare directly ahead of him, only to see Zexion. The brunet's jaw came unhinged as the small man's eyes were nearly double in size, his mouth hanging open as she shook head slowly, as if trying to deny that he had heard anything. While not having been able to understand all of the things that Leon had 'prayed,' he had managed to get the very minimal gist of it. It was something regarding the man next to him and emotional attachment, followed by bodies and a bed. Zexion was entirely grateful that he hadn't been able to understand most of what he had said, as his classes had never covered the words that Leon had used.  
Sephiroth, on the other hand, was staring straight at him now, his shock having given way to anger.  
His back straightened as he pulled his hands into his lap, glaring murderously at his younger cousin.

"**What the fuck is wrong with you?!"**

Cloud and Zack visibly flinched at Sephiroth's tone, recognizing it to be actual anger, as opposed to the pair's usual light hearted banter.

"**Nothing, it doesn't matter. No one really understood it**…" He refused to make eye contact with Zexion, though not exactly keen on looking at Sephiroth either. The silver haired man stared hatefully at the brunet as the man reached for a helping of mashed potatoes. Leon was furious at himself for forgetting, once again, all about Zexion.

"I apologize for his vords. He often acts vithout thinking."  
Zexion nodded in response, shaking his head. Now Leon glared at his cousin.  
"**What did you just say? You had better not tell Cloud what I said**."

Cloud, having vaguely but surely heard his name, grew a little nervous.  
**"I didn't you worthless piece of shit. But I should**."

The two Germans continued to speak darkly to one another, Leon threatening Sephiroth if he should tell Cloud, and Sephiroth insulting the man's actions in the first place.

"Hey man, maybe we should just eat."  
Zack's eyes widened at Reno 's intervention. He and Cloud had never made any move to break up the fights that Leon and Sephiroth regularly got into, and if they did, they would probably try to appeal to Leon first. He was smaller.

"I vill eat, after he realizes vat…" Sephiroth shook his had, still too angry to properly translate for himself.

Axel noticed Leon looking a little worried and felt a dumber part of him protest on his behalf.  
"I doubt he did anything that bad."

Reno looked at the other redhead, instantly deciding to take Sephiroth's side, since Axel had just clearly chosen Leon 's.  
"Are you kidding? If he made him that mad, he must have done something stupid."

Sephiroth's glare turned to Reno immediately.  
"Zon't call him stupid."

Reno quickly raised his palms in surrender, causing Zack and Cloud to stifle a laugh. It would figure that Sephiroth would take up for Leon first, even when he appeared to be angry with him.

**"I just want you to know that I hate you, and that you are repulsive. That said, that's eat the meal that Cloud so generously provided."**

Cloud's eye twitched upon hearing his name restated, watching as Sephiroth, too, reached to serve himself a helping of food.

---

The rest of the meal had gone mostly uneventful, except when everyone had to actually set their forks down in disgust when Sephiroth ate an entire can of cranberry sauce. He had finished off the sliced portion on the plate and had taken Zack up on the offer of a second can. He simply popped the lid and slid the gelatinous cylinder onto his plate, eating the thing within two minutes. Leon was an exception, however, and used everyone's distraction to snatch the last turkey leg.

When everyone was done eating, there was nothing left. Cloud couldn't believe his eyes after he said goodbye to the three visiting guests, showing them to the door. He surveyed the kitchen table, absolutely stunned that all of the food had been devoured. It didn't seem natural. Every year the Thanksgiving left-overs fed them for at least four days. He shook his head, deciding to clean up the mess later. Instead he decided to listen to what Zack had advised, and put it off until later and join the other three on the couch. Nothing beat being stuffed and miserable with a group suffering the same ailment. Everything was going fine until Zack casually asked the blond what he wanted for Christmas. This, of course, sent him into a whole new flurry of stress.

-----------

END CHAPTER

I know I know. The last part was questionable and rushed, but hey. I gotsa be at work in 30 minutes and I had to get this out before Thanksgiving weekend was over!!! This was supposed to be out on Turkey Day…but…yea, that didn't happen, haha. And I admit...Sleighbells proofread the first half before she went to work, and I 'proof read' the second half when I got off of work...meaning I read every other line or so until Zexion got into the picture..then I just kind of quit...anyone interested in being like...an actual beta on the occassion for me? It doesn't have to be a permanent deal. Just because you proof one chapter doesn't mean you have to proof them all, just let me know that you're a one time thing. I swear I will still love you forever.

Anyway, excuse the lateness, and I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. :)

And am I the only one noticing that Reno get's hurt in like...every chapter??? I know I'm not the _only_ one, since as far as I am aware, TooLittleTooLate is reading, and I am sure hating me everytime i harm her man. ahahha. That's what you get for moving on to Dean anyway, right?!


	6. Peanut Butter

**Disclaimer**: Don't own FFVII/KH/characters, Wheaties, Jiffy PB, any brand of lube, or even the policemen. Nothing is mine.

**A/N:**

Woo. This one not only took way longer than planned, but it is a lot lengthier than originally anticipated as well. What sucks is I have to have another one out by New Years. Doesn't that suck? Not for you, I guess. Anyway. I would like to first, say Thank You to the darling Coffee-Flavored Fate. She did a wonderful job beta-ing for me. I thank everyone else who volunteered to do this for me, there were like...a ton of you. Obviously, I could not have 11 different people doing this. Not only did CFF mesage me first, but her proile, upon inspection, basically says "I rule a proofing" How could I NOT pick her?! My other thanks goes out to, as usual, Sleighbells, though this time I owe her more than usual. After wanting to read a scene with Seph in jail for so long, I lost the ability to acutally write it for myself. I begged her, finally managing to contract her into doing to for me. Not only that, but she did SEVERAL scenes from this chapter, so let's all give a huge Hurrah to her :)

All that said, please enjoy!

**Chapter 6**

For the fifth time that morning, Cloud found himself standing before the closed wooden door of the room shared by Sephiroth and Leon. Today was the first day they were supposed to start school and so far he hadn't seen either one of them. Heard, however, was a different story. Since six-o-clock he had been hearing a mostly one-sided argument from where he sat in the living room, the tone of Sephiroth's voice displaying quite a shortening amount of patience. Also for the fifth time that morning, he couldn't bring himself to actually knock at the door. Even though he doubted anything would come out of it, he couldn't help but feel like he was intruding when he walked into their room. Sighing, the blond decided to let them take as long as they wanted; Class wasn't until nine. He had to make sure Zack was up, anyway.

**"Leave me alone….**" Leon pleaded with a heartbreaking groan, desperately wishing that his jackass cousin would stop being such a pain.

**"No. You need to wake up. We have to go to school today. You're the idiot who wanted to come to America to **_**go**_** to school. You dragged me here right with you, so you're going to get up and go."** Sephiroth had been up and dressed for hours now, much to Leon's distaste.

**"I don't know what you're complaining about anyway. We only have to go to school for **_**one goddamn day**_**, then we're out for Christmas holiday. How much luckier could we get? Now wake the fuck up."**

Leon grimaced as he felt his warm blanket be ripped from his now shivering body, cracking an angry eye to glare at Sephiroth.

**"I don't want to. Can't we skip? It's only one day, like you said. What's the point?"**

Sephiroth glared.

**"Get up. ****Right.****Now.**** Or I'm going to go out there and tell Cloud what you said at Thanksgiving."**

The brunet only shook his head and let his eyes slip back closed. Sephiroth wouldn't dare.

Glaring, the silver-haired man watched his worthless cousin curl up into a pathetic ball while trying to cover himself with one of the pillows. _His_ pillow. Sephiroth narrowed his eyes, snatching the pillow away and tossing it into a chair before marching over to the bedroom door, pulling it open without stopping. Noticing that his cousin had stopped harassing him, Leon sat up in the bed, suddenly becoming very worried.

It didn't take long for Sephiroth to find Cloud, as the blond had just walked out of the kitchen and was cradling a cup of steaming coffee, standing in the hall. Grinning, Sephiroth glanced back at the cracked bedroom door behind him.

"Are you enjoying your coffee, _Cloud._"

The blond raised an eyebrow at the way he had said his name; He said it much louder than the rest of the question.

"It's…delightful….Thanks." He was about to offer Sephiroth a cup, or four, when a screaming banshee tore out of the back bedroom and suddenly the taller man had another body attached to him.

Upon hearing Cloud's name, Leon had panicked, rushing from the room to stop his older cousin from telling the blond and ruining his chances at a love life with him. Sephiroth struggled slightly against the two arms now wrapped around his neck before rolling his eyes and standing still, allowing Leon to shake him around, yelling all the while.

**"Shut up! Don't tell him!"**

Cloud watched on in amusement as Leon finally released his annoyed older cousin, seeming to be embarrassed that Cloud had just witnessed his little outburst.

"Mornin' everybody…" The croaked greeting caused everyone to turn their heads to where Zack was leaning miserably in his doorway. He looked like a corpse.

"What's his problem?"

Zack pointed to Leon before bringing his hand up to rub his sleepy eyes. God, he did not want to go back to school. Next semester he was _so_ only taking night classes. Or dropping out. Then he remembered that this _was _his last semester before it was all over anyway, so he guessed he didn't have to worry about it. At least he had that happy thought to get him through the morning.

"I don't know." Cloud answered, staring at Leon for a few moments longer before smiling and shaking his head, accepting the fact that Leon and Sephiroth did odd things. Zack nodded, looking at each of them before finally settling on Sephiroth, who was the only one not currently in pajamas.

"And you. Why are you dressed?"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, taking in Zack's disheveled appearance for the first time.

"School in an hour. I can at least get dressed for von day."

Zack grimaced, not wanting to think about school. He and Cloud hadn't had to go since the other two had shown up, and his body was definitely rejecting the idea of returning.

"Hey Cloud?" He released a large yawn, stretching his arms up.

"Will you make me breakfast? I need to go shower."

No one argued, as the raven-haired man hadn't been seen entering the shower in about two days now. Cloud waved him off before turning around and reentering the kitchen, this time with Leon and Sephiroth at his heels.

Once inside, the three men stood before the pantry, staring inside with hopes that this time there would be something better than the time before. No such luck, however, and Sephiroth looked dejectedly at a can of lightly salted peanuts, deciding that was as good as it was going to get for the time being. Leon, on the other hand, wasn't really seeking food.

"Mayonnaise."

Cloud and Sephiroth turned to regard the brunet, who was now holding a jar of unopened mayo with a questioning expression on his face.

"Ja?"

Sephiroth nodded, giving his cousin a strange look.

"Ja."

Leon looked very proud of himself, a victorious smirk crossing his face as he placed the jar back into the cabinet. He pulled out a box of stale Wheaties this time, holding them up to Cloud and Sephiroth.

"Cereal."

Cloud broke into a huge smile, clapping in approval before shyly moving to give Leon a kiss on the cheek. The brunet seemed to freeze, a contemplative look on his face. Experimentally, he replaced the Wheaties, reaching now for a can on sting beans. After correctly identifying them as a "vegetable," he was rewarded with another kiss.

The game continued and Sephiroth rolled his eyes at the display. Leon had dragged him into the kitchen a few days back and forced him to teach him all of the foods, as well as other various household objects that the labels had inevitably fallen off of. The only thing that had gotten the silver haired man through the torturous study session was the strategically laid lies he would randomly choose to tell. Speaking of which, as he watched Leon pull a jar of peanut butter from the cabinet Sephiroth smirked, deciding it was time to leave. While he would love to watch what was soon to unfold, it would really just go over better if he wasn't there.

Cloud barely noticed as Sephiroth exited the kitchen, all of his attention focused on the beaming brunet angel with a jar of Jiffy. He was already preparing himself to lean in with his reward, which had quickly gone from peck on the cheek to lengthy close-mouthed kiss, expecting Leon to accurately identify the food. After all, he had gotten Cheddar Chex Mix; Peanut butter would be no problem.

"Lube."

Cloud froze, his journey to Leon's lip brought to a screeching halt. When he didn't receive the expected result, Leon opened his eyes to see his sexy would-be prize staring at him like he had just grown a few arms. He raced through his thoughts, trying to remember exactly what Sephiroth had told him. Assuring himself that he had remembered correctly, he shook the peanut butter slightly, holding it up a bit more before trying again.

"Lube?"

The blond's wide eyes slid shut as an embarrassed smile crossed his lips. Gently he shook his head, opening his eyes and taking the jar away from the confused brunet.

"Peanut butter." He said the word slowly to Leon, placing the can back in the pantry.

"NOT lube."

He slowly took Leon's hand and guided him over to the kitchen table, where the dictionary conveniently lay. Unbeknownst to Cloud, the reason it was there in the first place was because Sephiroth had looked up the very same word he was about to, though for different reasons. Where as Sephiroth had aimed to confuse and embarrass, Cloud aimed to repair and educate.

Quickly thumbing through the pages, Cloud found the offending word, smile nervously and biting his lip before handing the book over to Leon, pointing at the word.

The brunet's eyes grew large momentarily, a slight blush filling his cheeks before his eyes narrowed and he muttered something mysterious though undeniably threatening in Cloud's prospective.

Sephiroth was going to fucking die. This was the last time he had been embarrassed by his older cousin, and he'd be damned if he didn't get him back for this. Shaking his head he handed the book back to Cloud, quickly giving the boy another kiss and a lingering smirk before pacing out of the kitchen and into his room, already forming his evil plan.

Once inside of his room, he began digging through all of the drawers that Zack hadn't gotten around to cleaning out yet. Leon knew that the object he was looking for _had_ to be in this room somewhere, since it _was_ Zack's room, and Zack, being so interested in his cousin, was obviously gay. What self-respecting homosexual man didn't have a bottle of lube readily available? Hell, what self-respecting heterosexual man didn't have a bottle of lube readily available?

He was halfway through destroying a dresser drawer when the night stand in the corner caught his eye. Of course, why hadn't he tried there first? Crossing the room with the most horrible of grins, Leon pulled open the nightstand drawer, pushing magazines and old batteries out of the way to reveal exactly what he was looking for. There, in the back of the drawer, was an abused looking tube of lubricant, though it wasn't the well-worn appearance that caused Leon to pause and his mouth to drop. No, it was because across the tube was, in large sharpie-scrawled capitals, was the word "_ZACK_."

Who in the _hell_ wrote their name on a bottle of lube?! How were you supposed to deny evidence like that? His hair swayed about as he shook his head in disbelief before stealing a glance at the clock. They had to leave in just a few minutes; it appeared that revenge would have to wait.

He quickly pocketed the tube before realizing exactly what he was doing, and that he could _not_ carry such an object on his being and shoved it back into the drawer, confident that Sephiroth wasn't bored enough to go through it.

**"It's time to leave!"**

Hearing Sephiroth call from the other room, Leon smirked and joined the other three, who were waiting by the door. Cloud looked a little downhearted about returning to school, where as Zack just looked entirely too miserable. It looked like he was being marched off to his death, rather than a classroom. Zack wasn't even dressed. He was wearing the same pants he had been sleeping in all week and a shirt that had been sprawled over the back of the couch for even longer.

---------------

**"I can't believe they let you take German One. I should have taken it."** Leon smirked at his older cousin, since Sephiroth had given him so much shit about taking it in the first place. The class could very well be the best thing that had ever happened to him. The teacher didn't know he couldn't speak English, instead thinking that he was just very advanced. Strangely, he had already begun quickly picking up English, having learned it in reverse.

**"So how were your classes?"** Leon asked as the two rounded the corner on the stair well, almost reaching their apartment. Sephiroth groaned slightly

**"English is a fucking nightmare. Professor Tseng is from Wutai, so it's not even his first language. How am I supposed to pretend to know what he is trying to say when I don't even know what he is saying the first place? ****Jesus,**** and these two complain about our accent."**

Leon smiled at his cousin's misfortune, doing very well to keep all of his comments to himself. He would have his satisfaction all in due time. Reaching the door of the apartment, they were surprised to find it unlocked. They shared a shrug before pushing the door open, entering the house to find Zack laid out on the couch, papers and books spread out around him. The raven-haired man had worked his schedule so that he only had one class a day, allowing him to get home before anyone else. The silence and solitude gave him the opportunity to actually do his homework, since if there was anyone home to distract him, he wouldn't lift a finger. Zack looked up from his blockade of homework, a relieved look washing over his features.

"Thank _God._ I was about to go crazy if I had to read another line." Clearly he was welcoming the distraction. Sephiroth smiled and shook his head, doubting that the other man had even read a single line to get tired of it.

"I vill help you ignore your vork in a minute. I must eat first."

Dropping down his very unloved English book on the table, Sephiroth left for the kitchen, while a suspicious looking Leon backed towards the bedroom.

Zack cocked his head, a skeptical look covering his face.

"And what are you doing?"

He wasn't surprised with the lack of response, though when Leon disappeared into the room, only to return a moment later sporting a vicious smirk, Zack felt compelled to find the note pad. He didn't see it in sight, however, and decided the margins of his essay would do just fine for note passing. He stopped when Sephiroth reentered the living room. The taller man set down his plate and sandwich carefully, as not to soil Zack's homework, before sliding down to sit Indian-style on the floor with his back leaning against the sofa. Zack grinned at the position, finding it to be adorable the way the man hunched forward to keep the crumbs over the plate. Sephiroth took one bite of the sandwich before regarding Leon, who was scoffing at him. He placed it down and turned fully to his cousin.

**"What."**

**"Nothing.**** Just seems a little too…plain for your tastes."**

Sephiroth' face took on a contemplative expression as he stared at his sandwich. Now that he thought about it, it was a little dull.

**"You're right. It's missing something."**

Strategically angling himself out from the crack between the couch and the table, Sephiroth stood and strolled back into the kitchen, seeking his new ingredients. As soon as he had left the room, Leon sprang into action. Zack almost choked on his spit as the brunet pulled something out of his pocket. But not just any something. No, a very, _very_ recognizable something. A something with his name on it.

His eyes grew impossibly wide as Leon continued his advance, stopping only when he reached Sephiroth's plate. The brunet hastily removed the top piece of bread, squeezing a large amount of lubricant onto the sandwich. Well, the package said 'apply liberally…'

After coating the top layer of peanut butter and jelly with…well, more 'jelly,' Leon looked up and met eyes with Zack, who was trying very hard to fight the blush off of his face. He swore he had thrown that thing away after his mom had found it on one of her visits. Try as he might to deny that it belonged to him, his mother just didn't seem to want to believe him. In the end he finally caved, which resulted to him being dragged to church for the next few weeks. Really, was owning self-warming lubrication such a sin? It was looking that way now, wasn't it?

When he heard the kitchen door swing open, Zack looked over to see Sephiroth walk out, this time carrying a bottle of caramel syrup and a few packets of Taco Bell pacanté sauce. Quickly, he looked back to see that Leon had already replaced the top piece of bread and taken a seat on the sofa next to him, leaving the sandwich looking just as it had before. Sephiroth set his condiments down on the table and set about the strange task of getting back in between the couch and table, which was made harder as he was adamant to do so without brushing against Zack's legs, much to the other man's disappointment. Not that he had time to realize his disappointment, however, as he could only watch, frozen in place, as Sephiroth poured out the two new sauces, dipping his sandwich into the sickening combination and taking a large bite.

Zack and Leon watched in morbid fascination as the man on the floor chewed for a few moments before his jaw began to slow, a confused look crossing through his eye. After taking his first bite, Sephiroth began to notice something strange. The longer the food remained in his mouth, the warmer it seemed to get. Well that was strange; The picante sause must be going bad. Zack's eye twitched as Sephioth picked up an empty packet, searching it over as if looking for an expiration date. Finally, the silverhaired man gave up, as the plastic wrappers didn't seem to be explaining why his lips and tongue were now tingling, beginning to go numb. He made a face as the awful taste became too much and he leaned over his plate, spitting out the chewed up wad. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, moving his tongue around, trying to get the taste out as well as regain some feeling in his mouth.

Fear gripped Zack's heart as Sephiroth pulled the bread off of his sandwich, studying the strange, clear gel that was vey obviously there. The silverhaired man didn't seem to know what to thing, until he heard a sharp 'twack.' The distinct noise of an aluminum and plastic smacking the surface of a wooden table, as well as the sound of a few papers shifting out of the way. Looking up to see what had landed on the table, Sephiroth's eyes fell upon a crumbled tube of which, in bold letters, proclaimed that it belonged to Zack. Under the marker, Sephiroth could make out to name and brand on the bottle, which matched the word he had looked up in the dictionary a few days before, and also something about…self…warming…

Leon's lips curled upwards as he watched his cousin continue to stare wide-eyed at the bottle on the table, satifyed that he had adequately gotten his revenge. He was considering gloating when he heard a low growl escape Sephiroth's unmoving lips.

**"You…I'm going to kill you."**

Leon felt a familiar sense of dread, wondering instantly just why he thought what he had done would ever be a good idea, under any circumstance. To his horror, Sephiroth threw himself up from the floor, sending the coffee table flipping over and upside down in his rush to stand. Leon's eyes widened as he realized this was probably the time to run. It didn't really matter where he went, so long as he was out of reach. Hastily, he stood up and moved to jump over the back of the couch. He could see the front door and he was almost completely over the couch when he felt something wrap around his ankle. It felt much like the clutch of death, actually. The hand wrapped around him sent all earlier plans of a graceful landing out of the window, as his loss of momentum sent his face and upper torso smacking into the backside of the couch. He remained in this awkward position for a few seconds longer before he felt himself be slowly dragged back over the couch, his head catching against the top of the back and causing him to bite his tongue a lot harder than he would have liked.

Once over the couch, the brunet felt himself be hoisted up by his shoulders, where he was forced to stare up into the rage-filled eyes of his older cousin. And that was when the screaming started.

Zack was in absolute shock. He was frozen solid on the couch, watching Sephiroth hold Leon inches away from his face while screaming…._something_ at him. What was he supposed to do, interfere? Probably. He couldn't bring himself to move, however, still being mortified that Leon had tricked Sephiroth into eating personal lubricant.

Absolutely furious, Sephiroth tightened his grip on Leon's arm with one hand, using the other to clutch the brunet's chin and face, forcing him to hold his glare from a few centimeters away. He continued to scream things that neither Zack nor Leon could comprehend at this point, as One; Zack didn't speak German, and Two; Sephiroth's mouth was still numb, meaning Leon didn't exactly understand his current…dialect. One thing the brunet did understand, though, was that his name was being used an awful lot, and very close to the words 'kill,' 'sandwich' and 'selfish' and 'horseshit.' He also got the minimal gist of owing Sephiroth everything and being a total bastard; though when his eyes trailed off for the first time, earning him a slap to the face, he kind of stopped paying attention.

At first, Leon's eyes widened, not believing that his cousin had just struck him. He wouldn't have believed it at all if it weren't for the sharp stinging of his cheek, and the fact that the hand that had just hit him was quickly becoming a fist. Finally, something in him broke. Sephiroth had been being a total ass to him since day one, and the one time he tried to do something to really get even he wound up getting treated like a child. He refused to stand here for any longer, being belittled and humiliated in front of Zack.

**"Let go of my right now."**

His voice was low and threatening, and it only seemed to make Sephiroth angrier.

**"I'll let go of you when I'm done with you."**

Leon sneered, quickly twisting to the side and just out of Sephiroth's reach, only for the taller man to furiously clutch him once more, this time roughly backing him into a wall. Zack's brain threw up the red flag as he watched a very tell-tale warning flash through Leon's eyes before the brunet rose both of his arms and gave his older cousin a sharp shove, causing Sephiroth to stagger backwards a few feet. Sephiroth's eyes narrowed as Leon tried to walk away once more, and he wasted no time in returning the gesture, ruthlessly pushing Leon back against the wall. This time, however, Leon swung out, his fist catching Sephiroth in the left temple. He was not able to enjoy his landed hit for very long, as he felt his lip get busted open. As he moved to touch his lip, he was hit again, this time in the rib cage. He was about to lay it all out on the table when the front door burst open and several men in dark blue uniforms ran into the room, behind them was the neighbor lady peeking around the corner.

In the corner of his eye he saw Zack fling himself in front of the two of them, waving his arms and trying to talk to the men.

Zack had just grabbed Sephiroth by the shoulder and was hauling him back when he heard the police enter his apartment. They were demanding that everyone get on the ground and be still. This, of course, was not going to go over well, as Leon just plain out didn't know English and Sephiroth was to pissed to comprehend it. When he saw one of the men draw his gun, he panicked, instantly standing between the two brawling Germans and the police, waving his arms in submission.

"They don't know what you're saying, put that down!"

The police ignored him, hesitantly entering the apartment further.

"We were alerted of a violent domestic dispute taking place by your neighbor and we came by to investigate. It would seem she was right. You two…" The man gestured to a still-hostile Sephiroth and Leon.

"I advise that you calm down right now or I'm going to take you in for resistance and domestic violence."

The man's eyes then fell on Leon, who was bleeding profusely, not only from his newly busted lip, but from earlier when he had bitten his tongue.

"And apparently battery can be added to that list."

The officer moved into the center of the room, eyeing Sephiroth suspiciously, as the man did not exactly look as though he were in his right mind.

"I'm going to need to ask you a few questions."

Sephiroth glared down his nose at the cop and Zack felt a sense of impending dread.

"Sir, he doesn't understand you, they're exchange stu—"

The policeman raised a hand, silencing Zack.

"I'm not talking to you, son. Keep your silence."

Zack frowned, moving his unhappy gaze to the other policeman, who still had his gun drawn.

"What is your name?"

Sephiroth eyed the stocky policeman rudely, not at all feeling in the mood to deal with this. He turned his gaze instead to Leon.

**"What the fuck is this?"**

The brunet ripped his eyes away from the gun-holding police officer to look at Sephiroth, all of his anger having quickly faded away.

**"I don't know. What do they want?**"

**"My name."**

Leon moved his eyes to the policeman awaiting Sephiroth's answer.

**"Give it to them"**

**"Fuck that."**

The policeman quickly became annoyed with Sephiroth, who apparently had to intention of answering him, and from his point of view, seemed to be plotting something.

"Get on the ground, son."

Sephiroth's eyes ripped upwards to regard the man, not fully believing what he had just heard. There was no reason he should have to get on the ground. Everything had been going just fine. Instead of complying, he moved to walk around the man and towards Zack, though stopped abruptly when he was met with gun barrel. Apparently he didn't realize that he still looked absolutely pissed, and there for, came off as a very real threat.

Leon, watching his cousin be held at gun point, shared a mortified look with Zack before turning again to Sephiroth.

**"Do what they ask you to."**

Sephiroth grimaced and stood straighter, refusing to obey the whim of some cop who didn't understand the situation. He turned fully to stare down at the policeman, wondering if the man would really shoot him.

"I'm going to tell you one more time, sir, get on the ground or I am going to be forced to detain you."

Having not the faintest idea as to what 'detain' meant, or at this point, anything else the man had just said, Sephiroth continued to stand still.

"Officer, please, he really doesn't know what you are talking about." Zack pleaded, wishing that the policeman would just put the gun away. Leon moved to touch Sephiroth, only for the silver haired man to roughly knock his hand away, leading himself to be shoved to the floor on his back, and pair of handcuffs becoming instantly and painfully tightened around his wrists.

Zack's mind dropped out as Leon started screaming at the officer, only falling silent when Zack himself grabbed him and dragged him a few feet backwards. He was barely able to hold Leon as they watched the officers haul Sephiroth out of the front door and out of their sight. As the door clicked shut, Zack felt Leon sag against him and he felt his own mind crumble. Where was Cloud?

---------------------

Leon sat on the couch, his arms wrapped around his legs which were pulled up to his chest. He watched as Zack paced the room talking frantically to himself, occasionally pulling his hair or hitting himself in the forehead. Leon had no idea what he was saying, they only word he caught was Sephiroth's name. He was gone, they had taken him away. Leon needed him! Leon tightened his arms around his legs, he had to come back!

Zack ran both hands through his hair; oh man he had _fucked up_. He glanced at Leon who had curled up on the couch. Zack felt sorry for the guy, not only had they taken away his cousin, they had taken away his translator, his essential life in this foreign country. Zack whipped around as he heard the front door open as Cloud rushed in the front door.

"What the _hell_ happened?!" Cloud demanded before he had even closed the door behind him. As soon as he was in the apartment Leon shot off the couch and rushed across the room latching onto Cloud. Cloud had a shocked look on his face as Leon began babbling in German his voice choking on his tears. Cloud gently took him by the shoulders, trying to calm him, but Leon at this point was inconsolable.

"Leon please, calm down." Cloud said gently running his hands through his hair, hoping it would soothe him. Leon hiccupped against him holding onto Cloud all the tighter. Cloud looked up at Zack, who also looked a little red-eyed.

"Oh man, Cloud, I fucked up. I don't even know how it happened. I thought everything was alright, and then all of a sudden these cops show up and haul Seph away. It's all my fault I should have.. have…" At this point even Zack began to get choked up. Cloud opened his arm silently telling Zack to come over to him too. Zack rushed over falling into his friend's embrace. Cloud stood there Leon and Zack wrapped around him trying to sort everything out. Sephiroth was gone…and they had to get him back. That seemed pretty easy. At least he hoped so. He gently eased Leon and Zack away form him.

"Okay, Zack I need you to go get Seph. I'm going to stay here with Leon and try to help him calm down. Do you think you can do that?" Cloud asked in a soft voice. Zack nodded rubbing his red eyes.

"Okay." He rasped, his voice a little hoarse. Cloud nodded and turned to Leon placing his hands on either side of his face. The poor guy was scared out of his mind.

"Everything will be okay." He said slowly. He pulled Leon into a hug, nodding for Zack to go and _hurry_.

----------------------

Zack sat in the car, hands clutching the steering wheel as he realized he had no idea where the jail house was. He thought about driving down town, since that's where cops always said it was, but somehow he thought that might now work. He could always go rob a gas station and then they could take him there, but then they probably wouldn't let him leave.

Wait, if anyone knew where the jail house was it would be Axel. Zack sat up with a new hope to find Axel when he saw the red head standing not too far away next to a bucket of soapy water holding a wet mop. Zack scrambled out of the car not bothering to turn it off and ran up to Axel who was, from the looks of things, mopping the parking lot.

"Hey Axel. Do you know where the Jail House is?" Zack said in a rush. Axel paused and leaned against his mop handle and stroked his chin.

"The Jail House? Yea, you go down Fairfeild.."

"No, _where_ is it, you know I'm terrible with directions."

"It's by the bus place." Axel said in an offhanded manner.

"You mean the public buses?"

"Yea." Axel had gone back to his mopping at this point.

"Thanks Axel, I owe you!" Zack yelled as he ran back to his car and pulled out on the parking lot. As he pulled out onto the main road Zack realized he didn't know where the 'bus place' was either.

"Shit!"

-----------

"Alright, in you go." The officer pushed Sephiroth into the holding cell before loudly slamming the barred door behind him. Sephiroth glared hatefully at the man before turning to see what other people had been contained in this awful place. He sneered at the dirty men around him. Half looking petrified of him the other half staring at him with something he chose to ignore. He crossed his arms over his chest before moving to stand in the far, empty corner.

"Hey pretty thing, what are you in for?" Sephiroth stared blankly at the want to be thug that stood before him. He eyed the man with distaste, choosing to ignore him and closed his eyes.

"I asked you a question." The thug said this time pushing against one of Sephiroth's shoulders making the German growl.

"**Touch me again and I will snap your fucking neck."**

"What, pretty boy doesn't speak English?"

"Leave him alone." A voice called out making the thug turn in disbelief.

"He didn't do anything to you." The voice was weaker this time, less sure of itself. Sephiroth looked over the thug at a small boy, barely a teenager that was in desperate need of a decent haircut.

"Little pansy boy gonna stand up for him huh?" The thug lifted the boy by the collar of his dirty shirt and pulled back his arm before what felt like something far too strong to be human wrap itself around his hand.

**"Do not touch the boy."** The thug looked back at Sephiroth a little scared before dropping the boy.

"You want the pansy for yourself, pretty boy? Fine you can have him. Just don't fuck him too hard." The thug let out a sharp laugh at he threw the boy at Sephiroth. The boy let out a squeak as he was thrown. Sephiroth sneered as he turned to go back to his corner. The boy looked over his shoulder at the thugs before going to follow the foreign man.

"Thanks for that." The boy said. Sephiroth didn't saw anything.

"You don't speak English huh? That's alright, I don't speak Russian." Sephiroth's eyes widened as he stared at the boy in disbelief.

"My name's Demyx by the way."

-----------

Zack's hands tightened around the steering wheel as he slowed down behind the bus. He let out a scream of frustration as more people boarded it. When was the damned thing going to go the damned bus place?! Zack, being the genius that he was, had decided that the easiest way to find the bus place was to find a bus and then proceed to follow that bus until it went back to the station. Three hours he had been following the thing. Surely it had to be running out of gas or something. Zack spared a look at his own gas meter and flinched. Cloud would forgive him right? He stopped behind the bus again and watched as people filed off and cheered as no one got on. Maybe it was empty? With a renewed vigor Zack followed.

-----------

Zack cheered loudly as the bus pulled into the 'bus place'. Alright now all he had to do was find the jail house. As he drove around the block he spotted a building. Surely the one that looked like the house of Satan himself had to be the jailhouse. Parking in the first spot he could find, Zack ran all the way to the jail. Bursting through the doors he ran to the first officer he could find.

"Where is Sephiroth?!" The officer gave him an odd look before pointing him in the direction of the receptionist. Zack smiled sheepishly before running to the receptionist.

"Hey, I think my friend is here." The lady raised an eyebrow at him. "Big guy with long silver hair, doesn't really speak English."

"Yea, they brought him in earlier. He is in holding."

"Well…can you take him _out_ of holding?"

"Holding lasts for twenty-four hours, after that he can leave. You can wait over there if you'd like." She pointed to group of chairs next to a pay phone. Zack groaned as he went over to the chairs. It was going to be a long night.

-----------

Cloud hung up the phone running a hand through his already messy hair. He looked back at the couch where Leon had fallen asleep. He had just gotten off the phone with Zack who had filled him in on everything. He quietly walked back into the living room.

"Clowt?" Cloud looked over at the sleepy brunet smiling softly. Leon quickly sat up and looked around the apartment.

"Sephiroth?" He said looking at Cloud. Cloud smiled as he picked up the well used notepad lying on the coffee table.

_"Sephiroth is in jail." _Cloud wrote handing the notepad over to his dark haired companion. Leon read the sentence, eyebrows furrowed in uncertainty as he reached for the well worn dictionary. His eyes grew wide as he looked up what 'jail' was and he reached for the pen.

_"He is good?"_ He wrote, handing the notepad back to Cloud.

_"He is fine and will be home tomorrow."_ Leon read the words and sighed heavily. He leaned back on the couch running his hands through his hair, the notepad lying across his lap. Cloud moved over closer to Leon rubbing a comforting hand along the back of his neck. Leon moaned leaning back against the hand looking over at the blond.

"Everything will be alright, I promise." Cloud whispered smiling softly at Leon. Leon stared at him for a moment before reaching out grabbing the back of Cloud's neck crushing their lips together. Cloud let out a startled yelp before tightening his grip on the other's neck moving up to tangle his fingers in long brown hair. His other hand coming to grasp Leon's shirt as the German kissed him. Leon pulled away, his eyes glancing over the soft pink blush that had settled over Cloud's cheeks.

**"God, you are adorable."** Cloud groaned as Leon spoke before yanking him back into another heated kiss.

-----------

Zack squirmed in the uncomfortable chair trying to get into a somewhat non-painful position. He was so tired and yet he couldn't fall asleep. He watched tiredly as the nighttime cops lounged around drinking their coffee and chatting away, ignorant of Zack and his inability to get comfortable. He wondered what Sephiroth was doing. How was he doing? He sighed loudly as he grabbed a random magazine off the table next to him. Maybe reading would take his mind off things. He flipped open the magazine and began reading. He didn't get in two lines before his head fell back and a soft snoring sound could be heard.

-----------

"Is he dead?"

"He's kind cute."

"He's been here all night?" Zack squirmed as he awoke to soft whispers. He groaned as he tried to snuggle deeper into the covers in his bed. He groaned louder as he discover not only did he lack covers, but he was lacking a bed as well. He slowly opened his eyes to see that he was surrounded by a small group of giggling girls. He sleepily sat up and yawned.

"Hello Ladies." A few of them giggled and looked away. Zack smiled and then looked out the window his eyes growing wide as he realized it was morning. Sephiroth could leave now! Or at least…he hoped. He excused himself from his new fan club and approached the receptionist desk.

"Excuse me. I'm here to pick up a friend. Big guy, silver hair, doesn't speak English. Can he leave yet?" Zack finished with his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. The lady sighed.

"Let me see…" She got up from her desk and went to talk to the closest officer before coming back.

"They are going to get him." She couldn't help but smile back at the grin that blossomed over Zack's face.

-----------

"Alright big guy, you can go." The officer said sliding open the door motioning to Sephiroth. As he got up from his seat on the floor a small head poked around the side of him with a scared look upon its face.

"You can go too, Demyx…" The officer said rolling his eyes. The boy grinned as he followed on Sephiroth's heels. They followed the officer out into the lobby of the jail house. Sephiroth was a little surprised when he spotted Zack.

"Well I guess I will see you later okay? Stay out of trouble!" Demyx said clinging to Sephiroth one last time before running out the front doors. Zack frowned after the kid as he approached Sephiroth.

"Who was that?" Sephiroth just shrugged as he too made his way towards the front doors. Zack's frown deepened. It was going to be long car ride home…if Zack could _find_ the way home….

----------------------------------------------------

Had the mood been a little less somber, Zack probably would have hooted as the old, beat up car pulled into a familiar gas station. They had been below 'Empty' since they pulled out of the jail's parking lot, and Zack wasn't sure if they were going to make it. To make matters worse on the stress factor, not only were they in very real danger of having to walk home, but Sephiroth had not uttered a word since his release. This led the dark-haired man's imagination down all sorts of gloomy paths, thinking of all of the scarring things that the other man may have experienced during the duration of his lock up.

As they pulled up along side the pump, Zack shut the car off and turned in his seat to observe Sephiroth. The silver haired man was staring straight at the floorboard as he sat slumped in the passenger seat. He looked bad. Not bad like physically, no, never that. You could roll the man in a sewer and Zack would still only have the most impure of thoughts for him. He just looked…emotionally drained.

"Are you all right? …Seph?"

When he didn't respond, Zack lifted a hand to his shoulder, giving the man a soft nudge. "Sephiroth?"

At the soft contact, Sephiroth finally acknowledged Zack, looking at him with sad, exhausted eyes. The almost broken look made something in Zack's heart swell and crack, instantly filling him with emotions for the man that he didn't know he had. Up until that night, Zack's only true focus with Sephiroth had been of the sexual nature. He hadn't realized that somewhere along the line he had developed actual feelings for the fair man.

At some point during Zack's romantic awakening, Sephiroth had turned his head to gaze out of his window, no longer allowing the other man a view of his face. Zack was able to notice, however, the steady increase in Sephiroth's breathing pattern, as well as how the man's visible hand had balled into a tight fist before it was pulled into his lap and out of Zack's sight. While the hair was gorgeous, it sure was a bitch when it came to hiding things.

Hearing the uneven breathing, Zack's heart broke for the man a little more. Softly, he shifted the ends of Sephiroth's hair out of the way as he slid across the bench seat until he was pressing himself flush against Sephiroth's side. Upon feeling a pair of arms loop themselves around his waist, Sephiroth lifted his head to regard Zack once more, this time showing angry tears had formed in the corner of his eyes. It would seem that everything that had been building up in him until this point was taking its toll on him. The culture shock, the language barrier, his issues with Leon, his issues with everyone else, his shitty time in a jailhouse, all of it. It was all finally getting him. Though he would not allow himself to actually cry, and would never dare of allowing himself to sob, the shedding of even the smallest tears made him grow all the more frustrated, though something in Zack's eyes made him slow down. The man was looking at him with genuine care in his eyes. He wasn't judging him for crying, he wasn't hitting on him, he wasn't even speaking. He was just…there. Holding him. He didn't know what he had done to deserve the treatment, as he had been nothing but unfriendly to the other man, which touched him all the more. He continued to stare back into violet eyes before he felt Zack tighten his embrace, allowing himself to be pulled closer and one of the hands trailed its way up to rest on the back of his head.

They stayed that way for an undeterminable amount of time. Neither of them said a word, as there was something comforting in the silence. Sephiroth's breath had long since slowed and returned to normal, though he still allowed himself to be held against Zack's chest. To Zack, it was an amazing feeling. He knew that Sephiroth possessed all the strength to physically toss him through the windshield, let alone rid them of their closeness, but instead he allowed himself to be comforted. He couldn't help but feel a stab of pride, knowing that he was quite possibly the only person he would allow to do this, though he really didn't understand why.

As they sat, Zack grew restless and cautiously began trailing his hand from the base of Sephiroth's neck down to the base of his spine, making the trip several times before the other man shifted to look at him. When he was able to see his face, he was surprised to see a confused expression on Sephiroth's face. It was almost as if he didn't know why Zack would be comforting him. Sephiroth parted his lips to speak, intent on breaking the silence that had reigned for well over ten minutes now. As he did, however, Zack leaned past him, bringing his own lips to Sephiroth's ear, pressing them to him in a lingering kiss. Zack pulled back, fully expecting to be pushed away at this point. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when instead of a fist, he felt a pair of lips be pressed against his own, and a hand trace upwards to rest against his neck. Not wishing to ruin or waste the moment, Zack quickly brought one hand to Sephiroth's cheek, using the other around his waist to turn the man more fully toward him, running his tongue against Sephiroth's lips as he did so. He was delighted when he felt those lips part, allowing him access and he found his tongue met by another. The kiss deepened considerably, and Zack found himself growing incredibly hard at the soft moan that Sephiroth had just released against his mouth. He groaned back in response, dropping the hand from Sephiroth's cheek to his thigh, running his fingers up and down it before moving that hand to his hip, Sephiroth's hand fell to Zack's bicep. Zack was working on shifting him into his lap when a loud honking noise broke through the air, starling both of them and causing Sephiroth to bite down on Zack's tongue, which had, up until then, been happily enjoying its new surroundings.

"God DAMN it!" Zack whipped his head around to see the car behind him, its driver motioning irately for them to move. In all of the excitement, Zack had forgotten that he was currently blocking one of the few gas pumps in the station. Much to his disappointment, Sephiroth recoiled, breaking their contact and crossing an arm across his chest. Zack gave the driver a furious glare before kicking his door open and getting out. He could barely concentrate as he twisted the gas tank open and hit the selected buttons on the pump, shoving the nozzle angrily into the car's side.

By the time Zack had blown thirty seven bucks in gas, all while trying to ignore his massive erection, Sephiroth had obviously decided that the moment had come and gone. Zack sighed. Yep, it was going to be a long night.

-----------------------------

Cloud lay on the couch, happily weaving his fingers through his favorite German's hair who just happened to be lounging on top of him. While they hadn't actually done anything last night, their little make out sessions sure did help to pass the time. Cloud bent his head and pressed his lips against Leon's hair as he continued his stroking. The brunet lifting his head to gaze at his blond haired companion, smiling before pecking him on the lips. Cloud nudged his lips against Leon's, kissing him softly which swiftly turned into a real kiss. Cloud sighed as he lips molded themselves against Leon's his hands tightening in his long hair. Leon reached down to the hem of Cloud's shirt with every intention on taking it off.

They jerked apart as the front door was thrown open and Sephiroth stormed in, Zack following behind him. Sephiroth stormed into the bedroom he shared with Leon slamming, the door behind him. Leon quickly scrambled off of Cloud rushing after him. Cloud looked at Zack who shrugged. Cloud got off the couch and he and Zack looked into the bedroom as Leon opened the door and rushed in throwing his arms around Sephiroth. Leon had started crying again and babbling. Sephiroth slowly wrapped his arms around his cousin embracing him. Zack slowly reached out and closed the door, softly nodding at Cloud that they should leave. Cloud nodded walking back into the living room. While they fought and teased they really did mean the world to each other.

--------------

When morning fell upon the household, Leon was met with a very unpleasant surprise. After groggily sitting up in bed, the brunet noticed that the bedroom door was open, letting in all the noises from the rest of the house, as well as unnecessary light. Glancing to the bed side clock informed him that he was, in fact, up early. Too early. Grumbling, Leon threw back the sheets and swung his legs over the side of the bed and walked over to the dresser. He reached in to withdraw a pair of pants when he noticed something a bit off. 'A bit off' as in his drawers were empty.

A confused frown washed over his face as he opened another drawer, perplexed to find it empty as well. Just to humor himself, he looked around the rest of the room, coming to the realization that the rest of his stuff was gone, too. Not understanding, Leon slowly made his way out of the room, coming to the doorway to see every last inch of his belongings piled up outside of it.

**"Good, you're awake**

Leon raised puzzled eyes to Sephiroth, who was observing him from over the back of the couch.

**"What is this?"** Leon's question was answered with a lazy smile as the other man stood from the couch and sauntered towards him with a cup of hot chocolate in hand.

**"You see…"** Sephiroth motioned to all of the bags by the door.

**"You've been evicted."**

Leon's jaw dropped at his cousin's off handed statement. Sephiroth smirked and continued.

**"Get used to the couch. ****Or the bathroom floor.**** Hell, sleep with Cloud. You've lost your room sharing privileges."**

With that, Sephiroth spared his cousin another calm smile before making his way to the kitchen, no doubt taking advantage of the cinnamon rolls Cloud had cooked up earlier in the morning.

It took Leon's brain a little longer than it should have to process what he had just been told. Apparently, though he was talking to him, Sephiroth was still angry at him for getting him arrested. In being such, the other man had seen fit to kick him out of the bedroom. While the idea of sharing a room with Cloud wasn't bad at all (he wasn't even considering the other two options), Leon still felt a little….hurt. He'd never been kicked out before, and he couldn't say he was enjoying the feeling.

He looked up when he heard Sephiroth being shooed out of the kitchen, Cloud a few feet behind him. The taller man was humoring the blond, allowing himself to be pushed out of the door. This was not lost on Cloud of course, though he was grateful. He had been planning on making a large breakfast for everyone, and he didn't need Sephiroth's bacon-sampling skills just yet. Upon seeing the lost looking brunet, Cloud gave him a small smile. The silver haired man had informed him all about the 'removal of pests' from his room, and the blond had whole-heartedly agreed to share his. He hadn't run it by Zack yet, which was why he was working so hard to make breakfast. It was hard to get mad at someone for throwing you out when you were eating good food.

Leon returned the gesture, smiling at Cloud. Seeing him standing there in his shirt smudged with flour and bacon grease, it didn't seem like such a bad idea; sharing a room with him.

Sephiroth cleared his throat and took a few steps toward his younger cousin, laying a hand on his shoulder.

**"Cloud has kindly offered to adopt you. The papers should arrive tomorrow."**

Leon rolled his eyes at the remark and shrugged out of Sephiroth's touch. He shook his head with a small, strange grin, shuffling forward to give Cloud a good morning kiss. Very sweetly ignoring Leon's morning breath, the blond happily returned the kiss, blushing at the skeptical stare he was receiving from Sephiroth.

When they parted, Cloud bit his lip nervously.

"I guess I'll go wake up Zack…I don't know how he's going to take this."

Sephiroth shrugged, not entirely too concerned about Zack's reaction. He was sure the three of them could fit in the room just fine.

As Cloud waddled off for his bedroom, Leon took a seat on the couch, his cousin quickly joining them. Leon was staring at the way his feet curled on the edge of the coffee table while Sephiroth tried to over hear what was going on in the other bedroom.

"What!?" Came a distinct voice.

"What about 'bro's before hoes' man? Ow!"

Sephiroth laughed at what was the unmistakably sound of Zack being cuffed over the head. He would have to ask what bros and hoes were later. After the initial outburst, he noticed that the two had lowered the voices. He was wondering if Zack was taking it that badly when the raven haired man came walking out of the room, a feral grin spread over his lips.

Behind him, Cloud walked out, shaking his head with an apologetic smile in Sephiroth's direction. The smile made the silver haired man uneasy, as did Zack's posture.

The grinning man took his time walking around the couch until he stood behind it, leaning over it so that his face was just beside Sephiroth's.

"I think you're gonna like this."

With that, Zack straightened and walked back into his room. Sephiroth gave Cloud a look, to which the blond lowered his head.

"We kinda decided to…um, trade. There's not enough room for the three of us in there. Zack and Leon are just going to switch. Zack's going to stay with you." Saying his piece, Cloud quickly backed into the kitchen, hoping that the whole food and anger trick would work on Sephiroth as well.

As Sephiroth digested what he had just been told, and watching Zack move items from Cloud's room to his with a bright smile, the silver haired man couldn't help but realize he had done this to himself.

It was going to be a long night.

-

**Author's Note:**

Wooo!! Used "It was going to be a long night" three times in one chapter!!!...Yay? Eh, whatever. See you people by New Years. If the effort doesn't kill me first. Thanks again to CoffeeFlavoredFate, Sleighbells, and all you lovely volunteers...I'll say thanks to TooLittleTooLate, as well. I don't know why I'm thanking her, I just hadn't done it in a while, and I missed talking about/to her in author's notes, hahaha. A little F3 nostalgia.

Thanks for reading!


	7. Under za Mistletoe

Disclaimer!!

I don't own:

FF, KH, Ziploc, Wal-Mart, Kmart, Target, Pizza Hut, Waffle House (still, I know), Christmas, the HIV virus, Doritos, fruit baskets of any sort, Frosty the Snowman, Chapstick, Miller or Miller Light, UPS (God bless the United Parcel Service), Dish networking, the Ab Lounger or Zack's Morning After Pancakes™

THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO **MISUMISU84** AS AN EXTREMELY BELATED BIRTHDAY GIFT. The charming young woman in question aged another year on April 16, and hopefully does not mind such a late dedication. She has showered me with things that I do not deserve and treated me with a kindness that is much the same. She is a wonderful human being, whose writing, while totally insane and crackalicious, is absolutely wonderful, and quite frankly, friggen' hilarious. So this is for you, Misu. One of these days I'm going to write something that is solely for you, and not some chapter dedication from a previous project. There will be much rejoicing :D Happy Birthday.

A/N:…….So, uh….started this chapter on December 23, 2007…it was supposed to be posted on January 1, 2008….It's July. Christmas in July, right guys? It's a theme!..Or maybe the theme is that it's chapter "seven" and it took "seven" months to write it! Dang, can you imagine how long it will take to get to chapter Twelve?! .Heh….um, yea…Please don't hurt me? This chapter is filled to the brim with sexual content, if it's any consolation. Corncob: rollin' in the man porn since November 11, 2007. That, my friends, was the day Sleighbells forced (read: bribed) me into writing my first lemon. And yes, I _am_ distracting you with useless trivia about myself to help you forget that it has been SEVEN MONTHS SINCE I WAS SUPPOSED TO UPDATE. I won't hold you up any longer, I'll save any other commentary for the end.

_**.33**_

_"We kinda decided to…um, trade. There's not enough room for the three of us in there. Zack and Leon are just going to switch. Zack's going to stay with you." Saying his piece, Cloud quickly backed into the kitchen, hoping that the whole food and anger trick would work on Sephiroth as well._

_As Sephiroth digested what he had just been told, and watching Zack move items from Cloud's room to his with a bright smile, the silver haired man couldn't help but realize he had done this to himself._

_It was going to be a long night._

_**.33**_



Cloud softly shut the door behind him, leaning heavily against it. Leon stood in the middle of the room, his back towards Cloud as he slowly removed his shirt. His lips twitched slightly as he heard the soft intake of breathe behind him but did nothing to show he had heard anything. He quickly shimmied out of his jeans before flopping onto the bed in only his boxers. Normally Leon was the kind of guy to actually wear pajama pants to bed, but as he peeked an eye open to look at Cloud who was still leaning against the door with a faraway look in his eyes, he decided Cloud didn't need to know that.

Cloud's heart had sped up a considerable amount from the time he had entered the room to now. Trying to avoid looking at the sexy German stretched across his bed, Cloud, too, undressed down to his boxers. Cloud smirked to himself as he turned his back to Leon, making a show of stashing the dirtied clothes in the wicker laundry basket that Zack cursed every time he laid eyes on the thing. As he turned to climb into his German infested bed, the thought crossed his mind that before he had to share his room with Zack, he had been the kind of guy to just sleep naked, but as he slipped between the covers feeling the long hard line of Leon's body pressed against him through the thick blanket, he decided Leon didn't need to know that.

Leon drew his legs up, lifting himself up and pulling the blanket out from under him before covering himself. He shifted around for a bit before laying on his side facing Cloud. The blond had one arm curled under his pillow while the other was draped on top the blanket, covering his stomach. His eyes were peacefully closed.

"Clowt…" Leon whispered his lips twitching again as he watched the way the blond's muscles tense as the word washed over him. Slowly, Cloud opened his eyes, turning his head towards the sexy brunet laying centimeters from him. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Leon lifted himself up, leaning heavily on one elbow so he was hovering over Cloud. He could hear his breathing speed up and his eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment before slowly opening again, staring at the man above him. Leon leaned down, pausing a breath away from Cloud's lips. Cloud's hand balled into a fist in his blanket before as he leaned up, claiming those foreign lips. Leon leaned heavily down on the blond, Cloud's shoulder digging into his chest. Cloud pushed up against him opening his mouth as Leon tilted his head slightly to the left, their tongues sliding hot and wet against each other. Leon's left hand moved up Cloud's side, from his hip up to where his arm disappeared under his pillow, finding his hand and grasping it tightly, intertwining their fingers. Cloud moaned into the hot kiss as he wormed his right hand under Leon's body to curl around him and bury it in silky brown hair.

Their lips parted with a soft wet pop, Leon trailing soft wet kisses across Cloud's jaw back towards his ear. Cloud's head lolled to the side panting softly. Leon sucked on the skin below his ear softly before blowing on it, enjoying the way it made Cloud shiver. He traced the curve of the blond's ear before blowing on that, too.

"Clowt…." He cooed softly making Cloud moan weakly. Leon pressed closer, the side of his face pressed to Cloud's, the tip of his nose tucked into the upper curve of his ear, his lips gently brushing over his earlobe. "Vant you…Clowt." He practically growled his voice was so husky. Cloud's body arched up slightly, his head rolling to press closer to Leon's.



"Fuck……_Fuck_…." He said passionately. Leon chuckled deeply in his ear making Cloud pant and push against him. The blond used the grip on the brunet's hair to roughly guide the German's mouth back to his, kissing him deep and hard. Leon made a low sound in the back of his throat as he climbed completely on top of Cloud. He released the hand from under Cloud's pillow and suddenly it seemed as if Leon's hands were everywhere at once. Cloud's mind reeled at the heat that scorched through his body. Never had anyone undone him this much from a few kisses and a little groping. Suddenly he felt his hips being lifted and felt the band of his boxers being slid down his thighs.

"Fucking shit…" He hissed softly as Leon placed hot wet kisses down his throat as he finished completely removing the offending article of clothing. Then his hot mouth was back to Cloud's ear whispering words Cloud didn't understand in his deep voice that made his body quake. And then Leon's hand was suddenly between his legs making Cloud give a sharp, loud cry before gritting his teeth, trying to stay quiet. Leon chuckled darkly into Cloud's ear as he tunneled his hand, jerking Cloud hard and quick as he continued to whisper in his ear. Cloud whined in the back of his throat as he threw his head back into the pillow, his body arching into Leon's, hips moving against Leon's hot hand. Then as suddenly as it was there, it was gone, leaving Cloud groaning and panting in disappointment. His eyes cracked open to see Leon pushing himself up to his knees, his thumbs moving down to hook into the waistband of his boxers. Their eyes met and Leon paused. Cloud sat up, his nose coming level with Leon's belly button. He looked up at Leon who stared down at him with hungry eyes. Cloud moaned softly, the man was absolutely _fucking_ gorgeous. He pressed closer kissing the skin below his belly button, groaning as he felt the warm bulge press against his throat. He brought his hands up, fingers curling in the waistband before yanking them down. Leon's hand rested on Cloud's shoulders as the blond's nose rubbed against crisp hairs. Cloud brought one hand up curling around Leon's erection making the man tense before closing his lips around the wet head making his muscle spasm. Cloud moaned as he took more into his mouth, swallowing, making Leon curse sharply as he hunched over, one hand moving down Cloud's back, the other running up his neck into his blond spikes.

Cloud bobbed his head three times before pausing to swallow, enjoying the way is made Leon's thighs tremble. Cloud did this once more before releasing Leon's erection, much to the German's dismay. Cloud kissed his belly again before turning away to dig through the drawer of his side table. Leon growled as he kicked his boxers off his legs and dropped down on his hands and knees over Cloud. The blond rolled over smirking as he handed a small tube to Leon. He took the tube looking confused for a moment.

"Peanut Butter." Cloud said, trying not to laugh and failing. Leon's eyes darted to Cloud's face before slowly going back the tube in his hand, a light blush dusting his cheeks much to Cloud's amusement. Leon's eyes narrowed as he unlocked his arm and fell heavily on top of Cloud, making him give a soft grunt. And then Leon thrust him hips down making Cloud groan as their erections slid together in a delicious friction. Leon smirked down at Cloud as he flicked the lid of tube off squeezing a generous amount into his hand. Leon gently bit Cloud's lower lip, tugging on it gently as he snaked his hand down between Cloud's legs. Cloud gasped as Leon circled his finger around his entrance, applying just enough pressure to feel pleasurable without giving any 

sort of relief. The blond squirmed under him while he sucked on the plump lip caught between his teeth. Finally Leon pushed one finger inside, making Cloud's body spasm. Leon smirked letting go of Cloud's lip to kiss him deeply, working one finger into the little American boy before adding a second.

Cloud moaned into Leon's mouth, pushing against his body as he scissored his two fingers inside of him. Cloud writhed under him pushing up against to rub their erections together before grinding down on Leon's fingers. While Cloud appreciated that Leon was taking the time to prepare him, enough was enough. He snaked a hand between their bodies wrapping his hand around Leon, tugging on him gently and whispered words he didn't understand.

"Fuck me, Leon." He growled out, tugging again just to get his point across. Leon paused breathing heavily in Cloud's ear before slipping his fingers out and letting Cloud guide him to his entrance. They paused, the head of Leon's cock pressed hotly against Cloud, both of them panting heavily. Leon whispered something in Cloud's ear, his voice husky and full of promises that made Cloud's heart race. Then he thrust forward pushing until he was fully inside the blond. Cloud arched up sharply crying out unrestrained, missing the low moan Leon let out. Leon moved to rest his forehead against Cloud's, their heavy breathing mingling together between them. Cloud slowly opened his eyes and gave Leon a small nod. The brunet above him twitched his hips, making Cloud's body tense as he moaned softly. Leon began rolling his hips, making them both moan wantonly. Leon raised himself up, bracing both of his arms by Cloud's shoulders, snapping his hips harshly into the moaning blonde. The pace was set hard and fast and Cloud could feel the heat tightening in his belly. He reached up and braced his hands on his headboard, using the leverage to push his hips back to meet Leon's thrusts.

Leon gazed down at Cloud, his grey-blue eyes blazing. He reached one hand down to wrap around Cloud's neglected erection, jerking him roughly at a pace slightly offset from his thrusts. Cloud threw back his head, giving a choked moan. his arms giving out. He moved one hand to Leon's that was braced by his shoulder, which gave out as soon as he touched it, causing Leon to lean heavily on his one elbow. Cloud wrapped a hand tightly around Leon's bicep, his nails digging into the straining muscle as his belly clenched tighter.

"Leon…" he moaned softly, his other hand flying to hang around Leon's shoulders as his body tensed, his back arching off the bed. Leon jerked him one, twice before coming roughly. Leon's thrusts became shallow and irregular and he cursed sharply as he, too, came.

Cloud tightened his arm around Leon just enough at cause the spent German to fall atop of him.

"I like you, Leon…." Cloud said breathlessly into Leon's ear, not caring if he understood him or not.

"Likes….you…." Leon said slowly, his deep voice and heavy accent enough to make Cloud want to come all over again. Leon lifted himself up just enough the look at Cloud, frustration written all over his face at not being able to tell him anything he wanted to say. Cloud only smiled and cupped Leon's face with both hands, kissing him softly. Leon sighed into the kiss smiling as they 

broke away. Slowly, they untangled their bodies and situated themselves on the bed into a tangle more comfortable to sleep in.

_**.33**_

It had been two weeks. Cloud and Leon had been having sex for two weeks and Zack was going insane. Every night Zack had to lie in bed while he listened to their moaning and groaning through the paper-thin walls. Next to him lay Sephiroth, who, other than mildly disturbed and disgusted, seemed perfectly content to ignore them, giving no indication that the noises affected him at all. But the two in the other room weren't the only thing testing his self control over his libido. No, the silver-haired man himself was in very real danger of driving him totally crazy.

Ever since their little session in the car, Sephiroth had spared the violet-eyed man kisses every so often, even allowing Zack to make out with him from time to time. Never in front of anyone, mind you, but that wasn't any huge concern of Zack's at the moment. What was getting to him was that the kisses and the make out sessions were where it _stopped_. Despite his efforts to convince the man otherwise, Zack was unsuccessful in talking Sephiroth into anything more, and it was sheer hell on his body. His eyes saw the gorgeous, silver haired man, his lips even covered his, but he couldn't touch him, not like he wanted to touch him.

Groaning, Zack rolled away from where he was watching Sephiroth's sleeping form, trying not to let his erection show through the sheets, should the man crack open an eye. He had a feeling that wouldn't go over too well, as the man probably didn't know about these nightly occurrences. Zack had never had the audacity to masturbate in the bed, though he did spare himself a few fleeting touches before trudging his miserable and aching body into the loneliness of the shower, where he would begrudgingly free himself of his discomfort before crawling back into the bed.

Tonight was one of the more troublesome nights, unfortunately. Cloud and Leon had been particularly rough this evening, leading the two of them to be noticeably louder. To top that off, Sephiroth had been in a rather good mood that day, so it was relatively easy to coax him into a round of heated kissing. While that was all fine and good, when the time came for Sephiroth to decide he was done, Zack was left on his lonely side of the bed.

Sighing heavily, half of him hoping to wake Sephiroth up, Zack sat up and slid off of the bed, looking down at his own body before rolling his eyes and heading for the shower.

_**.33**_

Grimacing at the cold tile flooring beneath his feet, Zack padded to the bathroom, undressing quickly and stepping into the shower stall, angling the shower head away from him before turning on the water. Looking down at his body, Zack gave a dull sigh before testing the 

temperature of the water with his hand. It wasn't quite hot yet, but it was getting there. Giving another unnecessary sigh, he flipped the shower function on and pulled back, standing as far away from the water as he could until it reached a more satisfying temperature. His neglected erection throbbed and he gave it a fleeting, annoyed glance.

"Yea. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you…How could I?" He mumbled the last part under his breath, as if his penis would hear him and become offended. He laughed lightly at the idea.

It only took a few moments for the water to reach the particular level of scalding that Zack enjoyed, and he took great pleasure in stepping into the spray. That was one thing he had always loved about this apartment: Awesome water pressure. He allowed himself a contented groan as the heated water collided with his body, already easing away some muscle tension he hadn't realized that he had. He smiled lazily, shaking his head and the newly noticed but already ebbing ache in his shoulders.

"This is worse than I thought."

He spoke out loud for the simple sake of speaking; his only audience was the bar of soap and the usual collection of bath and body care items. Angling his head downward, the water splashed against his forehead and ran down his face, running over his eyes but not into them. He smiled at the feeling before slipping his eyes closed, his left hand beginning to wander up and down the plains of his stomach. He sighed softly, picturing a different set of hands connected to a different body as he dragged his nails lightly down his abdomen, and his right hand moved to clutch firmly at his stiffened cock. There was no point in dragging this out, the sooner he rid himself of his problem, the sooner he could get back into the bed. Closing his eyes tighter, Zack imagined himself no where near the small shower stall he was currently occupying, but instead, out in the living room.

_He was lying on the couch, beautifully nude and fully erect, green eyes wide, his long, lean legs spread and inviting. A pale, delicate hand drifted along his chest, passing over a pebbled nipple, his pink lips parting in a soft gasp as he did so. His hand traveled further as he teased his taunting hardness, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he fondled himself lightly. _

Zack groaned loudly, letting his head drop against the shower wall as he continued to work his shaft roughly, pumping himself up and down as he delved deeper into his fantasy.

_Sephiroth moaned as he touched himself, those otherworldly eyes slipping shut as he continued to tease the head of his own erection. He made an assortment of other small sounds and he wrapped his hand fully around himself, giving a few good pumps before his other hand raced up to grab a clutch of his silver hair, his back arching as he continued to work himself._

He was pumping frantically now, his imagination getting to him faster than any pornography magazine could have hoped to achieve. Zack braced one hand against the shower wall, letting his chin drop to his chest as he mimicked a rougher, faster version of what the Sephiroth in his mind was doing to himself.

_The hand tangled in his hair soon abandoned its post, making a quick journey down the length of his long body to his widely splayed legs. Sephiroth sucked in a breath as he lowered his fingers to trace at his own opening, hissing loudly as he slowly inserted the first digit._

Zack came powerfully against the shower stall with a groan, his chest heaving and his eyes heavily lidded. His hand dropped away from his now entirely relaxed body, his energy spent after the utterly arousing mind game. He gave a knowing smile at the memory, wondering what Sephiroth would do to him if he ever found out the things he thought about him, knowing that he had been characterized as being so…submissive. It wouldn't be pretty, he knew that much.

He made sure to wash away any proof from the shower before pushing the curtain open and reaching for his towel. He haphazardly dried his body, doing a good enough job to pull his boxers on without them sticking to his skin. He gave his hair a quick pass with the cloth, not all that concerned over going to bed with it wet. It was going to look like a mess in the morning regardless of how he went to bed, so he saw no reason to bother.

Opening the bathroom door and pushing past the steam, Zack made his way back down the dark hallway to his room to find Sephiroth awake, presumably waiting for him.

Zack couldn't make out the look on his face as he fumbled his way back into the bed, hoping that the other man couldn't see his smirk as he decided against walking all the way around, choosing a shortcut instead.

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed as he felt Zack's weight press on top of him, the other man crawling over him on his return to the bed.

"Vat are you doing?"

"Getting in bed."

Zack seemed to be taking his time, though, hovering over Sephiroth on his hands and knees as he reached over to situate his pillow and fix the rumples in the sheets. Sephiroth was about to scold the man when a fat droplet of water landed right between his eyes, leading him to notice the newly dampened sheets. Raising a curious eyebrow, Sephiroth brought his hand to Zack's hair, finding it to be, indeed, very wet. Zack tried to appear innocent at the questioning look, shrugging and sliding over to his side of the bed, flinging more water on Sephiroth's face as he did so.

"Just thought I'd take a shower. No big deal."

He offered Sephiroth a grin as he lay on his side, watching the man. Sephiroth only shook his head, suddenly jerking it to the side when he heard a sharp thump through the wall.

His eyes widened in disbelief before looking back to Zack. Those two couldn't possibly be having sex _again._ Sephiroth closed his eyes, wondering how and when his cousin had become so filthy. It wasn't really the fact that Leon had sex so regularly that repulsed Sephiroth, it was the _way_ he had sex. He and Cloud weren't a quiet, cuddly, lovemaking couple. No, they were loud, rough, and had a habit of talking dirty. The last part confused him somewhat, since neither of the two men could understand their talk, so the purpose was lost on him.



Zack smiled at the thoughtful and almost pained expression on Sephiroth's face. His smile grew wider as he heard a throaty growl from the other room, presumably Leon since Zack couldn't understand what it said. He eyed Sephiroth curiously, laughing at the disgusted expression on his face.

"What did he say?"

Sephiroth opened his eyes to Zack, the man looking eager to be nosey.

"You really vant to know?"

"Yea!"

The silver-haired man shook his head and rolled over, reaching to the nightstand to grab the dictionary. He thumbed through the pages until he found the word that he was unsure about before closing it and glancing back up at Zack, who had sat up and was waiting impatiently. The raven haired man winced slightly at a loud groan that slipped through the wall.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and tossed the book back onto the table.

"He said…'Tongue it vhile you squeeze it.'"

Zack tried to fight to urge to roll his eyes into the back of his head as the words passed Sephiroth's lips. Goddamn, Cloud was a lucky bastard, and Zack hated him. He would kill to have the man across from him speak to him that way. Just thinking about it made the blood rush back down to Zack's groin.

Sephiroth shook his head one last time before stifling a yawn and laying back down in the bed, this time with his back to Zack. Zack stared at the lines of Sephiroth's spine and shoulders for a while before glancing down at his renewed problem. Glowering as Cloud released another breathy moan, he wondered if he could get away with another shower.

_**.33**_

It was late morning when Zack first cracked a miserable eyelid, wondering why God had been so cruel as to allow him to survive the night. He was in an absolutely foul mood; Sexual frustration was getting to the point that he could barely stand it.

Frowning, he rolled out of his empty bed and stomped out of the bedroom, not sparing a glance toward Sephiroth or Leon in the living room, making his way to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Zack."

Zack lifted annoyed eyes to Cloud, mumbling a greeting before jerking the refrigerator open. The blond smiled in amusement as he watched his friend rummage unhappily around for something to eat, almost guilty over Zack's situation. 'Almost' because Zack had been some what of a jackass lately, leaving Cloud not so sympathetic towards the man. For the last week or so now, Zack had been in a horrible mood. The only person he would be completely civil to was Sephiroth, though lately he hadn't been so kind to him either. Cloud supposed he could understand. He wouldn't be happy if he had to lie next to a sexy but goddamn seemingly-celibate man while his best friend got fucked into happy oblivion in the other room. No, he imagined he would act like a bitch, too. That didn't stop him from teasing the discontented man, though.



"Heard you in the shower again."

Zack grimaced as a thin arm reached from behind him, setting the carton on orange juice on the table in front of him. He couldn't see his face, but he could see the humored smile on those thin lips.

"Shut up, Cloud."

Cloud frowned, wishing that Zack would just drop this whole sour act. He knew the poor guy must be frustrated, but come on now. It couldn't really be getting to him this badly, could it? He was about to sit down for a heart to heart with the moping man when a knock sounded at the door. He was going to answer it when Zack shot up angrily, apparently offended that someone would dare knock on his door this early in the afternoon. Cloud raised his eyebrows and followed him out to the main room, reaching the door of the kitchen in time to see Zack swing the front door open. In the doorway was Axel's smiling face, having just gone on break. He had been hoping to kill his half hour with his friends, though it didn't look like that was happening as Zack glared at him for all of two seconds before slamming to the door and going back to the kitchen.

The watching blond stared at the passing man with shocked eyes. Zack _loved_ Axel. Those two idiots could sit down and talk for hours about nothing in particular, though it was generally a very vulgar conversation theme. Yes, if he was taking this out on _Axel, _Zack was genuinely bothered. Shaking his head, Cloud walked over to the front door, sighing and putting on an apologetic expression as he pulled it open.

"What the hell is his problem?" Axel stared past Cloud into the house, disappointed to not find Zack in sight.

"He's been in a real pissy mood lately. He's jealous because he's not getting any—"

"And you are. Loudly. At all hours of the night. Yes, the people beneath you have put in a complaint, so you better be careful with that." Axel smiled slyly as he folded his arms, allowing himself to fall lazily sideways to lean against the door frame, smacking against it lightly.

Cloud fought the pink blush from his face, shaking his head and giving another heavy sigh.

"I don't know what to do. Tomorrow is Christmas, and I haven't even decorated yet. He won't let me do it without him, but he doesn't ever feel like doing it. I swear, if he is in a bad mood tomorrow, I am going to toss him off the balcony; I don't care how many kids see it. I may even put him in a Santa suit out of spite."

Axel stifled a chuckle, bringing a heavy hand to run through his unruly red hair.

"You give him the test?"

Cloud turned to the redhead sharply, his blue eyes looking serious.

"Not yet. I was about to, but…well, you knocked."

Axel rolled his eyes and raised both hands, standing straight as he did so.

"Yea, yea, blame the janitor because he cleans toilets. I get it. I guess I will just drag my sorry, blue-collar ass downstairs now. Have a merry Christmas, and I hope Zack gets some action. If I have to mop him off of the sidewalk, I'll know what happened."



Cloud grinned slightly, waving off the retreating man. He laughed a little to himself as he shut the door and turned his back to it. Axel was a nice distraction, but now it was time to get to business. Setting his shoulders and gathering his nerve, Cloud walked briskly into the kitchen to find Zack sitting on the counter. It was time to give Zack 'The Test.'

"Zack?"

The man in question regarded the blond for a moment before he resumed bouncing the back of his feet off the cabinets.

"I'm kind of hungry. Want to go to Waffle House?"

Cloud stared intently at his friend, watching his every move. All he got was a crinkle at the corner of Zack's lips as those groggy violet eyes kept staring at his feet.

"No. Not today."

Zack kept watching his toes for a moment longer before looking up to ask Cloud why _he_ would want to go to Waffle House, only to find the blond gone.

_**.33**_

"We need to have a talk!"

Sephiroth's head jerked up from his book when Cloud barged into his room, desperation on his face. The silver-haired man raised an eyebrow as he closed his book and gave the blond his full attention. He wondered if this was about the amount of shampoo he had been using. He figured it was only a matter of time before they noticed they were going through three times as much as a normal household.

"I don't know how to say this but…Do you have any sexual interest in Zack?" Sephiroth's eyes widened, completely taken aback by the abrupt question. Cloud himself looked a little surprised.

"Okay, forget that question, that's a little personal. But…um…Well, Zack is kind of frustrated right now. He..he needs something, well he doesn't need it. More like wants it. Well...he may need it. Anyway. He's not getting it. I just wanted you to, you know…think about it."

Cloud stammered nervously, trying desperately to get his point across without seeming like he was begging Sephiroth to fuck Zack.

Sephiroth stared at him with a serious expression before nodded his head resolutely.

"I vill give it great thought."

Cloud smiled and nodded, instantly relieved.

"Great! Well...I'm going to go convince Zack to go get a Christmas tree….See you around, I guess…" Cloud fidgeted in place for a moment longer before backing out of the room, wondering why in the hell he had just tried that.

As soon as the blond had exited the room, Leon poked his head from around the corner. Sephiroth rolled his eyes, as it was apparent the man had been eavesdropping, not that it mattered.

"**What was that about?"**

"**I have absolutely no idea. But I told him I would think about it."**

Leon laughed, moving to have a seat on the bed next to his cousin.

Sephiroth gave a skeptical look as Leon made himself comfortable on Zack's side of the bed.

"**Just make yourself at home."**

Leon grinned.

"**Thanks. Actually, I am here for a reason. About Zack."**

Sephiroth glared at the brunet, not trusting his tone of voice.

"**You seriously need to fuck him. He's going crazy. Even I know that."**

Green eyes found themselves resting on a far corner of the room, causing Leon to huff.

"**You're such a woman about sex. What, do you want him to buy you chocolates first?"**

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and stood up from the bed, giving up on reading entirely. He wasn't sure how any of this was Leon's business, and his involvement in such a personal issue was not appreciated. He was well aware of the fact that Zack had been in a horrible mood lately, but he doubted heavily that it had to do with _this._ Surely Zack was just stressed out over school, as the dark haired male had been constantly telling him.

"**This has nothing to do with you."**

Leon sighed dramatically, rolling to lie on his side, his head propped up on a bent arm.

"**It **_**had**_** nothing to do with me, but that was **_**before**_** your little friend turned into the Anti-Christ."**

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and fell back against the mattress, mirroring Leon's position.

"**He's not my friend, and really now, don't you think that's stretching it a bit? Just because someone is in a bad mood doesn't make them the Anti-Christ"**

The brunet gave his cousin a skeptical glance, though unable to argue with the last statement. If _that_ were true, Sephiroth would surely be the fiery Lord of Hell.

"**Whatever. All I'm saying is Zack isn't the Zack we met when we got here. You remember him? You know, happy Zack? Smiling? Still-Possessed-a-Soul Zack? Him?"**

Leon stopped as he pointed out of the doorway where Zack was irately shoving National Geographics off of the coffee table, desperately hunting the remote.

"**You **_**killed**_** that Zack. He's been lost to this new, Devil-Zack. All because you're being too selfish. I mean, how hard would it be to drag him off into a dark corner, rip off his cloths with your teeth, bend him over a barrel, and fuck him until his mouth goes dry?"**

Sephiroth grimaced at his cousin's vulgarity, pulling his green eyes from the moody youth in the living room, whom had yet to locate the remote control, to rest on the brunet. Leon was clearly waiting for a response.

"**Why is there a barrel in the dark corner?"**

Sephiroth kept his face blank as Leon released a frustrated roar before standing from the bed, glaring down at his older cousin.

"**Fine. I'm trying to help you, and you're just being difficult."**

Sephiroth snorted.

"**Oh, thank you for your help. I found it very beneficial."**

Stormy grey eyes rolled with annoyance and the chocolate haired man shook his head in disappointment.

"**I swear to God, if I could kill you and get away with it, I **_**so**_** would."**

"**And I you, Cousin. I, you."**

_**.33**_

Cloud stood in the kitchen doorway, cautiously eyeing his prey. Zack had finally stopped shoving things around and gave up looking for the remote. The raven haired man had, instead, settled on sinking moodily into the couch, obviously attempting to take a nap. The blond watched him try miserably to get comfortable for a little while before sighing and steeling his nerve. He never did like dealing with Zack when the man was in a 'mood.' Fortunately, it didn't happen often, although that did mean Cloud was rather out of practice when dealing with it. It was one of those catch twenty-two situations, really.

Approaching the couch, Cloud stared amusedly down at Zack as he tried to block out the light with a pathetically small throw pillow.

"Zack, we need to talk."

"No."

"Yes."

Zack sighed, tossing the pillow dramatically to the foot of the couch.

"What?"

Grinning at what had been an easy victory, Cloud hoped the rest of the conversation would go so smoothly.

"Look, I know you're not happy right now, but, Zack…_Wake up_. Tomorrow is Christmas, and look around you. _Nothing_ is done. We have no decorations, we have no tree, we don't even have a fucking fruit cake. I swear to God, Zack, if you don't pull yourself out of this shit-fest you've been subjecting us all to for the holidays, I _will_ murder you, and they will _never_ find your body."

Zack stared blankly at the blond hovering above him in a menacing manner, trying to pinpoint the exact moment that Cloud's tone went from 'understanding friend' to an 'this is a death threat.' Not really coming to any conclusion, as he had expected, he opted to groan dramatically.

"I know."

Cloud looked unconvinced.

"Is that seriously all you have to say to that? 'I know?'" The blond shook his head.

"Whatever. Let's go get a Christmas tree. We have a lot of work to do."

_**.33**_



"No, Zack."

The two men stood in front of an absolutely obscenely sized evergreen. It was the perfect tree; plump, bushy, and didn't get too narrow too fast. It was a lovely Christmas tree all right, but it also had a lovely price tag.

By the time Zack turned his pleading eyes toward him, Cloud was already prepared.

"No. This tree is two _hundred _dollars, Zack. Don't even try to argue this one, because you won't win."

Zack closed his mouth, Cloud having sufficiently ended the battle before it ever truly began.

The blond frowned at the pout that crossed Zack's face, knowing that the dark haired man had really liked that tree. Trying to take his mind off of what they couldn't have without the help of welfare, which he doubt covered oversized houseplants, or food stamps, which he _also_ doubted covered oversized house plants, Cloud pointed in the direction of the discount tree section.

"Why don't we go pick one out from over there."

Following Cloud's finger, Zack could barely withhold the cringe as his eyes took in the large, poorly written "Clearance" sign and the huddle of trees standing beneath it. There were about eleven or so of them, each one suffering some sort of aesthetically displeasing condition or another. Cloud suddenly found himself on the receiving end of a rather threatening glare.

"We are _not_ shopping in the discount Christmas section, Cloud. Just look at that tree! It's _bald!__**" **_The tree in question revealed itself to have about four or five weak limbs attached to its frail trunk, neither of them particularly needled.

"And that one!" Zack shrieked, pointing at a second tree, his voice breaking in laughter as he did so. Cloud dared to follow Zack's point and by the time he rested his gaze upon it, Zack was in full on hysterics. The tree was…not impressive, at best. If it were possible for plant life to both contract and carry sexually transmitted diseases, Cloud was most certain he would get one from touching this tree. The blond let a crooked smile befall his face, eyeing his cackling friend fondly. He was pleased to see Zack so tickled by something so simple; a sure sign that the man was putting his bad mood behind him for the time being.

"Aw, it's not so bad." Cloud cautiously approached the deformed tree, wondering if the branches were supposed to grow in quite that direction. "I'm sure our paper-plate angel would look good on top of the AIDS tree."

If Zack had been calming down, Cloud comment sent him into a whole to waves of laughter. It took him several minutes of heavy breathing and emotional self control to get his body back under his command, a snicker escaping him each time he looked at the tree for too long.

Cloud glanced at the hideous thing from the corner of his eye, taking a few steps away from it now that Zack was in a more stable state.

"Zack, really. These are the only trees we can afford. If we would just fork out the cash for a nice, artificial tree, we would have a nice one every year…"

Cloud rolled his eyes, halting in his speech has Zack shook his head resolutely.

"No. No house of mine will have a _fake_ tree. That's like….sacrilegious."



Cloud withheld the remark about the religious aspect of the holiday having nothing what so ever to do with Christmas trees, and that the plastic tree would actually be conserving the environment, and in turn, technically the more religiously approved method. He also kept the fact that _he _was the one who was going to wind up having to vacuum all the damn pine needles of the carpet every morning.

Sighing, Cloud conceded, as he did every year.

"Fine. No faux-tree. Pick one of these fine specimens." Cloud spread his arms wide, motioning to the 'wide variety' that they had to choose from, simultaneously sidestepping away from a tree that he was pretty sure had just moved. There was no telling what kind of wild life it was currently infested with, and he quickly amended his statement.

"That one's not a choice."

"Why?"

"…It's haunted."

Zack quirked an eyebrow, stepping to halfway manage wrapping his arm around the 'AIDS tree.'

"That's cool, because I kind of like this guy." He used his other hand to check the tag hanging from a sickly limb.

"Only thirty-five bucks Bet we could get it for ten."

Cloud rolled his eyes, turning towards the nearest worker.

"We'll take this one."

_**.33**_

Leon and Sephiroth sat the coffee table, their backs leaning against the foot of the sofa. They had been sitting there for quite sometime, if the numb tingle in Leon's right butt cheek was any indication. Before them, on the table, lay a few sheets of paper. While the two American boys were gone, Sephiroth and Leon had decided to use the time wisely, and brainstorm for last minute Christmas gifts for the other two.

So far, their list was empty, consisting only of a few stick figures here and there that the two men passed back and forth whilst they fruitlessly tried to think of ideas. It would seem that luck was against them today.

Turning to face his cousin, Sephiroth inhaled a deep breath before releasing it with much more emotion than actually necessary.

"**You can keep thinking. I'm taking a break"**

Leon glared as the silver-haired man moved to stand up, quickly lifting a fist to smack the inside of the man's knee and successfully bringing Sephiroth back down.

"**No. You just had a break. We are not getting up again until we think of something to get Cloud and Zack for Christmas."**

Sephiroth grumbled and reached for the note pad as Leon twirled the pen in his fingers like a miniature baton.

"**What if we just make them a really nice card?"**

"**No."**

Sephiroth glared at Leon, who didn't even spare him a glance when answering. The brunet was content to stare at the pen in his hands, his face displaying deep thought and concentration. 

Whether he was concentrating on gift ideas or just not dropping the pen, Sephiroth could not be entirely sure.

"**A couple of 'I owe yous?'"**

"**No."** This time, the rejection was sterner.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, dropping his head back against the couch cushion, gladly ignoring the fact that that was where people's butts sat.

"**What about you? You haven't come up with anything since 'new pillows.'"**

Leon finally looked over at his cousin, a rather indignant look gracing his features.

"**Okay, Mister "what about a fruit basket?" At least they could **_**use**_** new pillows. I think they've been using the same ones since grade school."**

It was Sephiroth, this time, who refused to look at Leon when being spoken to, not exactly thrilled with the way Leon had mimicked his voice in such a nasally fashion.

"**All right, so they could use new pillows. Where in the hell do we find pillows?"**

Leon shrugged, dropping his head back against the couch as well.

"**Not a single fucking clue."**

Sephiroth sat up, his eyes falling on the phone book resting on a cabinet a little ways off. He seemed to be weighing the odds of there being a specific listing for pillows in there, as well as wondering if he possessed the ability to successfully navigate an English language phone book. He was sure he could, he just didn't know if he was up for the headache it would bring.

Leon cast a glance out of the corner of his eye, trying to see what Sephiroth was looking at. Noticing the phonebook, he made a disapproving sound.

"**Yea right. I'd piss myself if you managed that."**

The silver haired man glared, clearly interpreting this as a challenge. Stretching his arms at an awkward angle and grabbing a hold of the couch's edge, he began the process of pulling himself from between the two pieces of furniture. Leon rolled his eyes and pulled his feet to him, using them to push the coffee table a bit further and allowing Sephiroth more room to move.

After freeing himself and collecting the phonebook, Sephiroth returned to the couch, this time content to simply sit on the furniture, rather than lean uncomfortably against it. He thumbed through it for several minutes, trying to ignore the way Leon was staring smugly up at him from the floor.

Watching his search fail before his very eyes, Sephiroth was determined to walk away with _something_. Sneaking a look at Leon from the corner of his eye, Sephiroth randomly selected a phone number from the page and reached for the telephone, being sure to give Leon a victorious smirk in the process.

"**No way. They can't possibly list 'pillows' in the phonebook."**

"**You simply have to know where to look, dear Cousin."**

Entering the number he had chosen, Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at Leon's unconvinced face before placing the phone against his ear.

"_Pizza Hut, this is Reeve speaking, how may I help you?" _



Sephiroth cursed himself at his own bad choice, wishing that he would have at least chosen a business similar to a…pillow wholesaler, or whatever the hell he was looking for. Oh well, lying was lying, and it's not like Leon knew either way.

"Yes, hallo Reef. I vas vondering if you vould be so kind as to inform me vere I could make purchase of some pillows."

The line was silent for a few moments.

"… _This is Pizza Hut…"_

"Yes, I know zis. Und I vould really appreciate if you vould tell me vere I could find pillows."

"…_Did you try Wal-Mart? I don't know. K-Mart? Target? They'd all have them."_

"Ah, no I haff not. Thank you."

Sephiroth paused, eyeing the ad in the phonebook and tossing a glance towards Leon.

"Und you did say this vas Pizza Hut, ja?"

Sephiroth switched hands, moving the phone to his other ear.

"Excellent. Vat are you specials for today?"

_**.33**_

Two o-clock found a certain two foreign exchange students walking down the house ware isle of the Wal-Mart supercenter, pushing a shopping cart that had lord only knew how many diseases on it. Well, Leon was pushing a shopping cart that had lord only knew how many diseases on it, Sephiroth was trailing just behind him with a slice of pizza in one hand and a Ziploc lock containing a few more slices in the other. He was relatively content, for which Leon was grateful, even if he did find it unfair that he had to push the cart.

"**We are looking for pillows. Why are we in the trashcan section?"**

Leon ignored the look he received from a nearby shopper, having gotten used to curious stares at his language since walking into the store twenty minutes ago.

Sephiroth came up beside him, placing his Ziploc in the child seat of the cart after a few moments of deliberating if the plastic barrier would protect the pizza from germs. He gave Leon a thoughtful look.

"**Don't know. You told me to follow you."**

Leon rolled his eyes, giving his cousin a pointed look.

"**Because you would have just taken us right to the damn snack isle!"** He gestured to the empty bag of Doritos in the shopping cart.

"**I refuse to pay for an empty bag, by the way. Stuff those somewhere before we leave."**

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and muttered something about petty theft, flicking his hand in a forward direction.

"**That sign over there says 'pillows.' Let's head that way."**

Leon nodded, though his focus wavered as he pashed by a clearance rack covered in assorted gadgets that he couldn't name.

"**What's this?"**



Sephiroth shugged.

"**Throw it in the cart."**

And so Leon scooped up the unknown product and tossed it in to the cart. It landed among seventeen other items that the two men had thrown in the cart on a whim, unable to identify the things but finding them too decently priced to turn away. Surely they would need this stuff some day. Besides, whatever the hell an avocado slicer was would surely make for a glorious Christmas gift, would it not?

_**.33**_

After a miserable twelve or so minutes of wrestling a tree in and out of the stairwell to their apartment complex (Cloud had deemed it undignified to take the thing in the elevator), Zack and Cloud reached the door to their home. Upon opening the door, they were greeted with the not unwelcomed scent of fresh pizza. What they didn't see, however, were the men presumably responsible for it.

"Pizza!"

Cloud rolled his eyes at Zack's excited declaration, holding the door open as wide as it could go while trying not to drop the bags he was carrying.

"Haul that sick tree in here first, Zack. Before the neighbors see it! It's embarrassing."

Zack snickered, but did as he was told. With a considerable amount of ease, compared to the hassle of getting the heaping thing up the stairwell, he wrestled the tree past the threshold and into the living room, leaning it gently against a wall. Releasing it slowly and hoping for the haggard evergreen to stay in place, Zack slowly backed away and turned to Cloud.

"All righty! We have tree! Now we need tree stand. And the rest of the crap out of the car…" He seemed to trail off, his eyes darting over to another part of the house. Obviously the raven haired man had no desire to walk back down to the vehicle. He had, after all, carried the tree by himself most of the way. Cloud just helped him take corners and kept a look out for witnesses. So far, the only person who'd, without a doubt, seen them was the UPS man, but since the two didn't regularly receive packages they figured they would be okay.

Cloud sighed.

"All right, I'll go get the bags. The tree stand should be in the bathroom closet."

Zack quirked a brow.

"The bathroom closet?"

Cloud only shrugged and shook his head before heading over to the door. Zack waved him off and turned himself towards the bathroom, looking around for signs of life as he did so.

"We're back, and we have a Christmas tree! Are you guys home?" He listened carefully, finding himself met only with the soft sound of movement from Cloud and Leon's bedroom. He paused from his trip to the bathroom to rap slightly on the door.



"No!"

Zack laughed as he heard what was clearly Leon's voice deny him entry and he took a few steps away from the door. Even if it was just a single word used this time, Zack couldn't help but be impressed at the rate the brunet was picking up the English language.

"Okay, I'm staying out. Just wanted to let you know that we are about to start decorating and I need both of you guys to help."

"Vun moment, please." It was Sephiroth's voice who answered this time, and Zack smiled at the bedroom door. He shook his head before continuing on to the bathroom, digging through the closet for a short amount of time before uncovering the tree stand. It was on the top of the pile, being surprisingly easy to find, especially for something the boys only used once a year. This was also unusual as, unbeknownst to Zack, the bathroom closet was where Cloud had decided to start shoving all of the stuff that he just didn't want to deal with anymore. Cloud had decided to keep this a secret from the other man, knowing that if Zack knew what was going on, he would quickly find three-fourths of their house rammed into the small closet.

Pulling it from amidst the clutter, Zack turned around to be met with Sephiroth leaning in the bathroom doorway.

"Good afternoon, Beautiful." Zack greeted him, smiling brightly. Sephiroth merely raised an eyebrow before pushing off of the door way and standing straight.

"I see you're looking especially gorgeous today."

He went, for the most part, ignored.

"I vas going to ask vat all of dat stuff in the closet vas for, but I decided I don't need to know." He eyed the Christmas tree stand skeptically.

"It seems I vas right."

Zack only continued to smile as he moved past Sephiroth, brushing against the other man a little more than necessary. In the other room, he could see Leon wandering around with a confused look on his face. Zack tossed a smile in his direction.

"Cloud went back to the car, he'll be up in a few."

The brunet stared at him for a little bit, clearly attempting to work though the words that had just been said to him. He had come to learn "car," and most definitely understood "Cloud." Those were really the only two words he needed to get the gist of the sentence.

He nodded in acceptance, his gaze falling on the large metal contraption in Zack's hand. He had been about to question this when Sephiroth came up behind the other man.

For Zack, it was only when he felt hands on his shoulders begin to guide him forward did he realize he had been blocking the hallway.

"Excuse me." He heard Sephiroth's low voice in his ear, making his shiver as he was pressed forward into a wall and those hands left him. He muttered, slightly disappointed at having been pushed into a wall and _not_ having been thoroughly molested soon after. He glared slightly at Sephiroth's back as the man moved past him and in to the living room, his green eyes resting on the misshapen _thing_ leaning against the door.



It was only then that Leon noticed the tree and, with more than a bit of repulsion, came to stand next to his cousin.

"**What is that?"** Grey eyes didn't leave the ugly tree as he asked the question.

"…**I don't know."**

Neither of the men moved when Zack slid in between them, resting a hand on a shoulder of each one. He was trying to keep from laughing at their reaction, knowing that he and Cloud really hadn't faired that much better when first introduced to the tree.

"Like our Christmas tree?"

"**Oh God, that's what we are going to be celebrating the birth of our Lord with…"**

Leon raised an eyebrow, only then taking his eyes off of the tree and looked around Zack to gaze at his cousin.

"**I thought you worshiped the devil?"**

Sephiroth glared back, not desiring to dignify that with a response. He, instead, side stepped away from the other two, feeling the hand slip off of his shoulder and turned to look at Zack.

"Cloud is taking avile. Vat is he doing?"

He was not presented with an answer immediately, though he waited patiently for Zack to stop thinking about whatever it was that Zacks think about (he didn't really want to know). The raven haired man seemed to jolt a bit a few moments later, offering a smile and shaking his head. Leon shook his head as well, though for not quite the same reason. The brunet wondered idly if the other man had been thinking about sex. He had just been shoved in to a wall and denied the obligatory sexual contact what was supposed to come along with it, after all. Honestly, who did Sephiroth think he was, trying to pull off a platonic wall bump? Selfish bastard.

"Sorry. Temporary lapse."

Sephiroth's eyes cut over to the front door, informing Zack that the silver haired man hadn't understood what he'd just said. That was what Sephiroth did when he didn't comprehend; He wouldn't look at you anymore. He moved along.

"He went to the car to get the Christmas lights. He may be having trouble, there are kind of a lot of them."

Sephiroth was already walking towards the door.

"I am going to help him."

The raven haired man nodded, though he knew it went unseen. He watched Sephiroth slip out of the door, closing it soundlessly behind him. He was content to stare for a moment longer before he heard Leon clear his throat.

Clearing out of his thoughts, Zack tossed a smile his way and carried the tree stand over to the living room, setting it down on the floor near the television, though off to the side as not to block it. He took a step and stared down at it in contemplation before sliding it around with his foot until he was content with its placement.

"What do you think?"

A violet eyed gaze was directed over his shoulder to Leon, who only stared back skeptically. If he had understood the question, he clearly found no point in answering. Instead, the brunet turned back to the tree, and after giving it a good once over, gripped the frail trunk tightly, 

hefting it a few inches from the ground and began the tedious process of angling the thing through the living room. Watching carefully to make sure no part of the disturbing tree came into contact with the couch or the coffee table, and especially weary when Leon bypassed Vincent's bowl, Zack directed the other man to the stand, pleased to have such an able-bodied helper. Ducking out of the way, Zack allowed Leon to take his place next the stand, moving in quickly beside him to help him guide the base of the trunk in to place. After a few seconds of strategic wiggling, the tree was in place, though cocked a bit to the right. Zack and Leon stepped back to admire their handiwork.

"Eh…" Zack stared with a crooked grin.

"It's a little…off kilter." To this, Leon only shrugged.

Zack stepped forward once more, dropping to his knees before ultimately laying on his stomach, gripping the tree at its base.

"Tell me left or right until it's straight, okay?"

About fifteen seconds passed and not a word was said; Leon stood watching Zack grasp the tree while waiting for a command. Leon was amused, Zack was not. Sliding backwards to avoid sitting up and hitting the tree, though suffering a mild case of carpet burn in the process, Zack sat up and faced Leon. He held his arm straight in the air before slanting it slightly to the left and straightening it once more. He pointed at the tree.

"We're making it stand up."

Leon nodded.

"Tell me left or right."

Leon stared. Zack stared back. Finally, the raven haired man nodded his head slowly, not sure just how effective he could label their communication. Lying on his stomach once more, he waited.

Leon watched as Zack gripped the truck, trying for the life of him to remember which was which in English. He had a guess, but recalling a certain incident involving peanut butter, he decided to stick to what he knew.

"TV."

Questioning violet eyes met Leon's as Zack tried to figure out what in the heck that had to do with anything. Leon only pointed to his left, towards the television set. He then pointed towards the right. "Kitchen." Pointing one last time to the tree, he repeated his initial statement.

"TV."

It dawned on Zack, the simple genius of what Leon was saying. Unlike left and right, which would have been made difficult since they were facing opposite directions, Leon's method was incredibly easy to follow. Giving a winning smile, Zack returned his gaze to the trunk, twisting the pins in the stand to loosen and tighten as he saw fit, moving the tree in the direction of the TV.

"Little to kitchen."

Grinning into the tree, Zack complied. It went on for a bit longer before Leon gave his nod of approval, allowing Zack to remove himself from beneath the hideous tree.

_**.33**_



The elevator dinged as the two men backed awkwardly on to it, trying to act as though carrying a blowup Santa and Rudolf was something that people did all the time. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, not even when you were a small blond with several Christmas wreaths hung haphazardly around your neck or a tall silver haired gentleman with nine boxes of Christmas lights balanced against your hip while your other hand was, shamefully, clutching your half of the Santa blowup doll in the only place that allowed a decent grip. Cloud was grateful that his side was Rudolf, whose collar was perfect for hoisting the beast, because really, he would have never been able to live with himself if he were the one gripping Santa Claus at the junction of his legs. At least they hadn't bumped into Axel yet, as the redhead was no doubt afoot somewhere around the apartment complex.

Angling his neck uncomfortably in an attempt to ease the itching brought on by the plastic holly wreaths, Cloud stole a look at his companion. Sephiroth stood as straight as he could with the stack of boxes at his side, looking all business and not at all like he had a world wide icon by the crotch.

Suppressing a chuckle, Cloud settled for a slight upturn of the lips, turning his head to face the elevator doors as they slid open, revealing the ever familiar third floor. Poking his head out into the room, Cloud surveyed the perimeter. Deeming it safe and free of life forms, save for the sparrow that had flown through the balcony of room 39 (Axel had yet to successfully capture the thing, but it may have had something to do with his fear of birds and the fact that he had the grace and acuity of a wildebeest, combined with the simple factor that every time he attempted it, he was piss drunk), Cloud leaned back into the elevator.

"Coast is clear."

Behind him, he missed the blank stare. He did notice something amiss when he took a step and Rudolph resisted.

"What?"

Cloud looked over his shoulder, confused, then apologetic. Sephiroth stared on.

"Coast?"

The blond gave a small smile.

"No one is out here, it's safe. 'Coast is clear.'"

Sephiroth nodded, accepting this and filing it away, should he ever require use of such a saying. Hefting up Santa by the groin and checking the balance of his Christmas lights, Sephiroth nodded and the two men stepped out into the main hall, beginning their brisk walk to their room. Meeting the welcomed golden "33" on the dark wooden door, Cloud grasped the knob twisted and pushed while Sephiroth followed him closely, both checking behind them to make sure they hadn't been spotted. Satisfied with the lack of witnesses, the two men eased the door closed.

"**Why are you holding Santa's balls?"**

Sephiroth winced, refusing to turn around just yet. So concerned about those outside, the two men had forgotten about the inside enemy.

Gently setting the plastic man in red down on the floor, Cloud following suit and setting down his half, Sephiroth turned and moved further into the room, placing his boxes of lights on to the 

counter before turning his back to it and jumping slightly to sit on it as well. Zack came around the corner, looking pleased with himself. He slowed slightly, however, as his eyes rested on Cloud, who had yet to remove the wreath collection from his neck. Leon seemed to have been staring at the same thing, though while his expression read "you're cute," Zack's really gave more of the "You're kind of weird," especially since Cloud had freed both of his hands by now, so there was no evidence that he hadn't just plain out been wearing the decorations for the hell of it.

"Nice." Zack said the word with a sarcastic but friendly air before turning to see Sephiroth seated on the counter top, the silver haired man leaning forward slightly, his hands clutching the edges to keep balance. Violet eyes took on a mischievous light.

"_Nice_."

It was funny, really, how the word could sound so utterly different when applied in a different situation. Cloud tried not to roll his eyes. Sephiroth didn't bother to resist.

"So vat do we haff to do?"

Zack smiled widely, making his way closer to the pale man, gesture his hands to the room around them.

"It's time to decorate the house." He turned so that he was looking at all of them.

"I'm going to need volunteers. Who wants to be co-captain?"

Cloud's hand shot into the air, a half smile on his face, having been familiar with usual Christmas routine. Zack nodded in an approving manner.

"Step forward, Soldier."

Cloud smirked and came to stand next to the raven haired man.

"All right." Zack continued.

"I, Lieutenant Fair, am running the outdoor committee, while Captain Strife here is in charge of indoor operations." He paused, his eyes falling on an annoyed looking trooper. It would appear that Leon was not amused, and not particularly aware of what was going on.

"You there!" Zack motioned to Sephiroth, who spared him a bored look.

"Official Translator, fill in your comrade of what is taking place. This is important business and we need ever able body on task and well informed. Decorating is serious business and we can't afford to leave anyone in the dark."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, though with more that a little reluctance, relayed what had transpired thus far to his cousin. Zack was satisfied.

"Captain Strife!"

Cloud stood perfectly straight as his name was called, trying to fight the smile off of his face.

"Yes, Sergeant?

"It's Lieutenant."

"Sorry. Yes, Lieutenant?"

"I will give you first selection. Choose your man wisely, as you will be each others only means of survival whilst undertaking this mission."



Zack spoke over his shoulder as he moved to rummage through the fridge, withdrawing a half empty bottle of red juice. Sephiroth continued to interpret the conversation, and Cloud couldn't help but smile when he heard Leon laugh.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Permission to think this over?"

"Granted. You have two minutes. Or until I finish my Gatorade."

Cloud pretended to seriously consider the two men standing blandly before him, sizing them up.

"They seem to each have their pros and cons, Lieutenant. This is a difficult decision."

Zack swallowed a gulp of juice.

"No one said the army was easy, son."

"Do they even have Captains in the army? I thought that was Navy."

"I finished my Gatorade. Choose a soldier."

Cloud released a sharp laugh at Zack's avoidance of the previous statement, shaking his head and continuing to review his choices. His obvious choice was Leon, but as soon as the thought of Sephiroth and Zack working together entered his mind, he decided maybe he ought to take one for the team. For the sake of Zack's life, anyway.

"I'll take the tall guy."

Zack did a double-take and gave Cloud a slight, disbelieving pout. The blond only shrugged, standing firmly by his decision. Zack stared a moment longer, feeling thoroughly cheated at having his would have been partner taken. Cloud stared straight ahead, though a small smirk passed his lips.

"Thou shall not covet thy friend's decorating partner, Zack."

The raven haired man rolled his eyes before snapping his head over to Leon, who looked a little hurt at not having been chosen by the small blond.

"Your loss then, Captain. I guess I will just have to take the good one. You there, young, strapping lad! It will be our job to decorate the outdoors, whilst the women folk tidy up inside."

Zack was not surprised when his last words went untranslated. Cloud rolled his eyes and gave Leon an apologetic look before motioning that Sephiroth should follow him. After those words, Cloud knew he had to do a kick-ass job decorating the inside of the house.

_**.33**_

The room was almost entirely dark, save for the flashing light cast out by the television screen and the colorful glow of the Christmas tree. It had taken the boys about two hours to complete their decorating, and another half hour of making sure they actually liked what they had done.



Though they weren't too keen to admit it, Zack and Cloud both knew they had been better off with the partners they had taken, rather than the one's that they had truly wanted. Leon had been more suited to working outdoors with Zack, despite the fact that the raven haired man would have much rather seen Sephiroth bent over the railing of the balcony, tying the extension chords off and out of the way. Like wise, Cloud would have probably preferred it been Leon who caught him when he'd been hanging decorations above the door frame, when the chair he'd been standing on leaned a little too far and tipped over. He realized, however, Sephiroth probably possessed better decorating skills than his cousin, as far as the 'neat and orderly' department went.

With all of the hard work out of the way, the four men were all closely seated on the couch, content in watching all of the Christmas specials that basic cable had to offer. Zack had mentioned that if they had just paid a little more a month for dish, they would have had at least a hundred and seventy more channels to choose from. Cloud's only response to this was that if they only paid a little more a month for dish, they probably wouldn't have electricity to power it. Zack only turned up the volume.

Leon yawned, stretching the best he could on the crowded couch. He had nothing against Frosty the Snowman, really, it was just made considerably less entertaining when you couldn't understand the lyrics. To his right, he watched Zack attempt to feel up his cousin, the violet eyed man's hands trailing up and down Sephiroth's thigh three times before the pale haired man moved the leg to cross over his other without glancing away from Frosty's magic hat. The brunet gave a soundless laugh and shook his head at his stingy cousin before turning his head slightly to the left. Cloud had his arm propped up on the arm of the sofa, the side of his face resting in his palm. He was twisted somewhat to the side with his feet resting against Leon's leg, much to the brunet's delight. Any contact was good contact, even if it was just feet. Lifting a hand, Leon drifted his fingers to Cloud's ankle, rubbing the small, protruding bone softly and gaining the blond's full attention. He wrapped his hand fully around Cloud's ankle and squeezed it playfully before releasing it, offering the blond a smile and jerking his head towards the balcony. Cloud returned the smile, sliding gently off of the couch, as to distract the other two occupants as little as possible. He had been noticing Zack's consistent rejection since Frosty's hat blew off in the school yard, and saw no reason to interfere with that. It was just too funny watching the man be completely denied again and again.

Turning and heading towards the balcony as Leon stood from the couch, Cloud couldn't help the excited smile that spread over his lips, wondering what Leon wanted with him out here.

Sliding open the glass, Cloud stepped out onto the balcony, fighting down the giddy feelings as he felt a hand cover his on the door and the solid warm body that pressed against his back as he stepped out onto the porch. He felt one hand come to rest on his hip while he heard the door slide shut behind them, a second hand finding his other hip soon after. Cloud smiled as the hands lingered there for only a moment before they raised a little to wrap tightly around his waist and a chin rested on his shoulder. It was almost overwhelming just how content he felt in that single moment. The breath in his ear only added to the simple perfection.



From somewhere below their apartment, Cloud could hear the faint sound of airy music carrying through the atmosphere, which only added to the romantic feelings fluttering around inside of him. His heart very nearly melted over as he felt Leon moved behind him, moving their bodies in subdued side to side motions. A warm kiss pressed to his cheek and Cloud smiled, hoping that Zack didn't have a clear shot of the two of them. He wasn't sure he could handle the torment that would come with being caught in such a sappy situation. He quickly shoved the feeling aside. He was not thinking about Zack right now. That son of a bitch could kiss his ass for all he cared. He was going to spend time with someone who actually wanted to be around him, and he was going to enjoy it. Zack only wished he could get this kind of attention from the man who was ignoring him on the couch. Shaking his head slightly, Cloud stopped his train of thought, opting to simply enjoy his situation. Turning his head to the side, he met Leon's nearby lips with his own. They held their position for a lasting amount of time, just their lips being pressed together before they parted reluctantly. Cloud sighed and Leon smiled down at him. Removing one of his arms from around Cloud's waist, the brunet gestured to the display of decorations all over the back porch, the expression on his face reading something along the lines of "Look what I did." If the look didn't convey exactly that, then the low, rumbling words that came next sure as hell did.

"I did dat." Cloud shivered at Leon's voice, the heavy accent shooting straight to his groin.

He followed Leon's moving finger.

"Und dat…" Cloud smiled when Leon scoffed slightly, his finger pointing to a tangled mess of wires that were supposed to be hidden by the patio furniture.

"Zock did dat. Ugly. See vires through chairs."

Cloud's eyes drifted back over to the set up that Leon had been willing to claim, the lights draped loosely over the balcony railing and the Santa/Rudolf combo in the corner. It was cute, in a childish way. In the back of his mind he noted his and Sephiroth's complete victory in the decoration contest.

"Very good. I love it."

Leon let his eyes close as he heard the soft whisper drift into the air, pleased that Cloud approved of the balcony, and also just thrilled to be standing here in this situation. He smiled and nuzzled the side of his face into Cloud's fine hair, enraptured by the scent of the smaller man. He heard Cloud released a heavy breath, which, much to the blond's displeasure, turned into a yawn.

"To bett?"

Cloud shivered at the words, so rarely graced with hearing Leon speak to him. The blond turned fully to the brunet and wrapped his arms around the other man's neck, pressing another kiss to his lips before retracting and nodding. Leon nodded in return and took the blond's hand, guiding him back into the apartment where Zack was glaring at them. Sephiroth was no longer in the room.

Silently crossing the room with Leon in tow, Cloud smiled apologetically to Zack and bid him good night before the two slipped into their room.



Zack rolled his eyes as the door shut quietly. At least he had the satisfaction of knowing that the two of them weren't going to have sex. Everyone in the house had agreed that there would be no sex on Christmas, although Cloud and Leon knew that his rule applied only to them, since Zack wasn't getting any. The raven haired man had not been amused.

Sighing, Zack let his head fall back against the couch. He wanted what Leon and Cloud had. He wanted Sephiroth. He allowed himself a smile, remembering the kiss that the silver haired man had given him before he'd gone to bed. It had been fantastic, as Sephiroth so rarely initiated anything between the two of them. Zack's eyes slipped shut as the smile on his lips grew wider. He sat that way for a few moments more before flipping off the television and rising from the couch. He had something beautiful waiting in his bed for him.

_**.33**_

It was amazing, really, just how Christmas managed to turn even the grumpiest morning person into someone with Richard Simmons' over-excited disposition. Cloud forced himself to groan when he felt a heavy weight hit him, the thing on top of him landing with an oomph before the begging began. Next to him he heard Leon mumble incoherently.

"Get up, get up, get up, Cloud! Come on, it's Christmas and Seph's already got a pot of coffee made!"

Leon seemed to have heard the word Christmas and was out of the bed in two seconds flat, making a happy sound and abandoning the sleepy blond next to him in favor of slinking off down the hall. Cloud peeped over the covers at the man sitting on top of him, his smile covered by the wool blanket.

"Merry Christmas. How is my one-hundred and eighty-five pounds of special needs this morning?"

The black haired man smiled, straddling Cloud through the blankets.

"One hundred and eighty _two, _actually… And great! But I'd be really happy if you'd get up and come celebrate Christmas with me!"

Cloud's smile widened, shaking his head and pushing himself up as Zack removed himself from the bed, grabbing his hand and yanking him up once he was positive the blond was clothed, not that Cloud really considered a pair of boxers to be even halfway dressed. He spared Zack a look, finding the man to be in much the same, only he wore a pair of double cotton slipper socks on his feet. Cloud stifled a laugh, to which Zack followed his gaze before making an indignant noise.

"What?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Those are so gay."

Zack cocked his hip, placing the back of his hand on it before pointing an accusing finger at Cloud as the blond threw his feet over the edge of the bed.

"Okay Mister I took it in the ass three times last night. Who's gay?"

Cloud managed to halfway roll his eyes before they clenched shut and he released a large yawn.



"Whatever. It's Christmas, and the bible says we can't be gay on Christmas. So let's take your slightly un-hetero socks and my slightly un-hetero ass out into the living room to be with our slightly un-hetero male love toys."

Zack laughed loudly, happily making his way to the bedroom door.

"I don't remember hearing about that page in the Holy Book. You'll have to show me that some time."

The black haired man received no answer other than a sleepy nod before Cloud joined him in leaving the room, the two making their way quickly down the hall. Zack was quick because he was eager to get to his presents; Cloud was quick because Zack was behind him.

They rounded the corned of the hallway, entering the living room to find Reno lounging against the counter, eyeing the decorated atmosphere. The redhead caught sight of the two new-comers and smiled lazily at them.

"Merry Christmas, my morning acquaintances. What a fine job I see you've done here. I've got to say, though, this has always been my favorite."

He inclined his head downwards to the fish tank next to him, smiling at the Christmas bulbs floating in the water and the Christmas doily beneath the tank. He bit his lip, in taking a breath as he shook his head sadly.

"It's a shame that old Vince had to kick the bucket so soon. He always did love Christmas."

This was, of course, a blatant lie, as Vincent had never outwardly enjoyed the holidays, not that you could really tell what fish did or did not particularly fancy. It was just a general assumption that he didn't, since the bulbs floating in his tank confused the poor fish to no end, an the lights the boys had strung up around the mouth of his tank had not only kept him from leaving his little castle while they were on, but had sparked once or twice when water was splashed. Zack and Cloud nodded solemnly.

"That he did…Old boy, that he did."

Cloud kept his silence after Zack's statement, staring at the empty bowl and paying his respects before a clank from the kitchen pulled him back into reality. He smiled at Reno.

"Merry Christmas, Reno. Give me a second and we can begin the present annihilation. I've just got to grab coffee and collect the other two."

He was going to ask if the redhead would like a cup of coffee, but he saw the large thermos in the other man's hand. While generally unprepared, Reno could always be counted on to supply his own caffeine. He supposed it was necessary, though, since Reno was more of a tea person, which made him laugh every time he thought about it. Not too many people kept a pot of hot tea on hand. Grinning at the thought of Reno with a bad English accent sipping tea and nibbling on crumpets (because tea drinking was _exclusively_ British, you know), Cloud wandered off into the kitchen, leaving Zack and Reno to themselves.

Zack nodded at Reno, taking a look around the room for himself before stepping over to the Christmas tree, noticing a drastic increase in the amount of gifts. A lot of these had not been here the night before. He was about ready to give Santa Claus the benefit of the doubt before he noticed the wrapping paper, which was just very, _very_ neatly folded tin foil. He quirked a brow and dropped to his knees to get a better look. He picked on a silvery box, turning it in his hand. He had dealt with some tin foil in his time, and it had never been anything less than a 

crumbled, wrinkly, torn-up mess. This was pretty damn impressive. He felt a presence behind him, verified by a shadow and the sound of someone squatting down next to him.

"Can you beleef zat Squall vanted to use toilet paper? How horrible vould zat haff looked?"

Zack turned his head to the side, smiling broadly at Sephiroth, who was eyeing the gift dubiously.

"Did you do these?"

The silver haired man nodded.

"Ja. Didn't dare let _him_ touch zem. God only knows vat vould have looked like." He took the package from Zack's hand.

"Not my best vork, but is acceptable, ja?"

Zack nodded and accepted the gift back, and Sephiroth took a sip of heavily sugared coffee. Behind them, Zack could hear Cloud telling everyone to get on the couch. He set down the gift and stood from the floor, leading Sephiroth over to the rest of the group. Cloud was collecting the stockings from the faux-mantle, Reno assisting with the ones pinned too high for the blond to reach. Zack motioned for Sephiroth and Leon to sit down.

"So how we do it in this house is we open our stockings first. After that we divide the presents up into our piles and just rip them apart."

"**What was the last part?"**

"**He said that due to budget cuts, your pile will be the smallest."**

Leon frowned at his cousin, and Sephiroth broke into a humored smile. Zack felt his heart melt.

"**No, he said we just open all of our gifts once we split them into our separate piles. Stockings prior to this, of course."**

Leon nodded, smiling back at the silver haired man next to him. He loved Christmas, as most people did, and he and Sephiroth always did get along so well during the holiday. While he enjoyed their bickering, it was a breath of fresh air to not be constantly thinking of a witty comeback or dodging a fist once in a while. He reached out and knocked Sephiroth on the knee.

"**Bet you can't guess what I got you."**

"**A box of honey buns."**

"**Nope."**

"**Damn. Christmas is ruined."**

The two men laughed and Zack watched on, enamored. He came out of it when he noticed a glittery sock being wagged in front of his face. Looking up, he smiled and accepted the stocking from Reno, watching as Cloud handed Sephiroth and Leon their respective stockings as well. Looking back at his own, he wondered if he shouldn't have made a new one last night, since he was starting to look a little worn. He soon dismissed the idea, knowing that his stocking was rather well loved. He had made it with his mommy, after all. He smiled at the memory. He'd have to call her soon and wish her a wonderful Christmas. After waiting patiently for Cloud to retrieve the final two stockings, his own and Vincent's, the five men gathered happily around the coffee table, looking around to see who would go first.

Reno raised his hand.

"I vote that Vin should go first."



Zack and Cloud smiled, the black haired man jumping up to grab Vincent's bowl while Sephiroth and Leon shared a disturbed look. They noticed Reno looking at them with a blank expression and quickly looked at their own stockings, though they mumbled quietly from the sides of their mouths.

"**Is this a joke?"**

Leon glanced up discreetly as Zack walked back over, gingerly setting the bowl on the table. Reno grinned widely, waving at the thick glass. The redhead then looked up to the sky.

"Another Christmas come and gone without ya, buddy. Wish you were here, but since you're not, I hope you're living it up in Fish-Heaven, getting all the hot guppy ass that you can handle."

Zack laughed and Cloud made a face, the two of them reaching for Vincent's stocking at the same time. Zack retracted his hand first, allowing Cloud the honor.

With the other three watching the presents, Leon finally felt it safe to answer.

"**I really don't think that it is…"**

"**This is…frightening."**

"**I know…"**

Reno shot the two a dirty look, to which they only stared blankly back this time, daring the redhead to confront them. Reno quickly resumed watching Zack and Cloud. He didn't find what was going on quite so strange, as he knew exactly why Vincent got a stocking every year. It wasn't that Cloud and Zack were mentally ill at the loss of their only pet. They did love and miss their departed fish, yes, but the stocking also held a more selfish purpose. Vincent's stocking always seemed to contain little knickknacks that were needed around the house, or a CD that one of them wanted but couldn't justify buying it any other time.

Cloud smiled as he reached into the stocking, feeling around before grasping the first item and pulling it from the cloth sock.

"It's…" He dropped his blue eyes to regard the item in his hand.

"A five-pack of Chapstick!"

Reno and Zack hooted and Cloud returned his hand to the bag.

"Now we have…"

This present was wrapped in right red paper which he tore through quickly.

"Another five-pack of Chapstick!"

There was more cheering, to which Sephiroth and Leon only shared another confused look.

"**I think want to go home."**

"**Me, too."**

They were pulled from their negativity by Cloud, who announced the next gift.

"It's a patch for the hole in the couch cushion!"

Reno whistled and Zack tossed his hands into the air.

"It's like Santa friggen' _knows_ us or something!"

It didn't take much longer for the boys to get through Vincent's stocking and for the group to start on their own. Reno was the proud recipient of cotton swabs, an AC to DC power converter, and a new comb. Zack's stocking contained a small jar of hair gel, assorted candies, a keychain baring a witty phrase, and a pack of capsules that would grow into farm animal sponges when dropped into water. Both Sephiroth and Leon also received similar sponge 

capsules, only Leon's grew into zoo animals and Sephiroth's into dinosaurs. Having knowledge of the rivalry between the two cousins, Cloud and Zack had decided it best that the two get mostly identical gifts in their stockings. That having been decided, each German opened wrapping paper to discover a nail file, cheap headphones, Florida key chains, and a 9 volt battery.

When it came to be Cloud's turn, he put on a large smile, though anyone really looking knew that it was forced. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy stockings, it just wasn't nearly as fun for him as it was for everyone else. After all, how much excitement could he experience when he was the one who stuffed it? Looking down at the oversized sock, he mentally ran through its contents. Box of rubber bands, a few butterscotch candies, some staples, and a wind-up toy chicken that 'pooped' gumballs. When he poured his stocking out onto the table, however, he realized that something was awry. This was not something he could recognized; This was not something he had put in here. For the first time in four years, Cloud gave a genuinely curious smile as he pulled out the mysterious item from his stocking.

As he fumbled with the wrapping paper, he missed the thumbs up shared between Zack and Leon. Sephiroth refused to partake in anything as silly as a thumbs up, and opted for a smirk. Reno was entirely in the dark.

It had been while Cloud was on the telephone with his mother the evening before and the three men were sitting around in the living room, critiquing Cloud and Sephiroth's handiwork that Zack, in a moment of genius, mentioned the fact that Cloud always did the stockings. With the help of his personal translation device, or Sephiroth, as Leon occasionally called it, it was made known to him that the blond in question never really got the joy of surprise on Christmas. And so Leon had taken it upon himself to rummage through all of the unidentifiable merchandise that he and Sephiroth, or his personal translator, as he occasionally called him, had purchased earlier that day, specially selecting what he would smuggle into the blond's stocking after everyone went to bed. This was made difficult, since they did, in fact, share a room, but with a very wise last ditch effort, the brunet pulled of a very convincing version of the tell-tale pee-dance, and was able to make it out of the bedroom— no questions asked.

Ignorant of the three watching him, Cloud finally removed the last of the paper, smiling down at the packet that he held in his hand. Quick dissolving chlorine tablets. He couldn't help himself and he threw back his head, laughing loudly at the ridiculousness of the gift. To make it worse, his secret Santa had drawn little hearts in pen and magic marker across the packet. There were even a few stars scribbled across it, though they were top heavy and disproportionate. Leon never had been good at drawing stars.

Confused and awed blue eyes looked up at the other men Sephiroth and Zack looked away immediately, Reno had moved on to his gift pile and was otherwise preoccupied, and Leon was staring back at him intently. A gracious smile spread over Cloud's lips when Leon gave him a look before shrugging and feigning ignorance. The brunet quickly busied himself sorting his stuff away from his cousins.

Cloud continued to watch him, though was drawn out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder.



"Waiting on you, man." It was Zack. "Can't start with the rest of our stuff until you're through with your sock."

Reno looked up with an almost guilty expression. When he found that no one had been accusing him of anything, he quickly resumed unwrapping his box of chocolate covered pretzels, giving a happy shriek upon freeing them. They were his favorite, and it was his excitement that would lead to his downfall. Zack and Cloud had quickly learned what Leon had always known, and that was that if you enjoyed any sort of food, you most certainly did not call any attention to it. As Reno crooned over his candied pretzels, Sephiroth watched on, calculating the perfect time to strike. Not now, no, but soon. Very soon.

Much like the stockings (with the exception of Cloud's), it didn't take long for the group to open all of their gifts. Zack and Cloud had been, at first, confused by the pillows. Whether it was because they didn't realize they'd need them or because Leon had insisted that they be compacted shoved into boxes that he and Sephiroth had found in Zack's closet. Cloud had been most puzzled when he unwrapped an Ab Lounger, though inside of the box itself he found memory foam bedding accessories. Zack did a miraculous job of pretending not to recognize the box, and was ultimately delighted at the gift. Who was he to argue if Sephiroth was trying to make his bed more comfortable? Perhaps the silver haired man would be inclined to spend more time in it with him if he had better pillows.

Sephiroth and Leon both received a pair of " I heart America" boxers, courtesy of Reno. The red head had seen fit to also get a pair for the two American boys, though Zack claimed that he did, in fact, already own a pair.

Reno had found it painfully amusing when it came time for Sephiroth and Leon to open their presents from Zack and Cloud, as the redhead was sure that the two boys were going to burst waiting for the Germans to unwrap the paper. After taking a good three minutes to carefully remove the paper, Sephiroth opened the lid of a cardboard box to reveal something that made him freeze. Zack watched anxiously as confused green eyes stared down into the box, trying to assess the situation. It was a stuffed animal. It was a dark olive, plush turtle, done in the style in which the animals head was far too large for it's body, but not obscenely so. It wasn't so much the turtle that threw him, as he hadn't been expecting anything normal from Zack. No, it was the fact that he felt a strange emotional attachment to the turtle that confused him. Looking at the thing just made him want to hug it, which was not a feeling he was used to. He told himself a few times that it was natural human reaction to something cute and squishy, and not because it was a gift from the dark haired boy next to him.

Leon's gift brought about much the same reaction, though his was much easier to explain. Beneath the wrapping paper, the brunet found a leather bound book. It was the book that he and discovered in the book store soon after arriving, the one that he and Cloud had sat down on the floor looking at while Leon pointed out where he was from, muttering the whole while about things that he could no longer remember and that Cloud never understood in the first place. He held the heavy thing in his hands for quite some time, just staring down at the hard cover, which adorned the black, red, and yellow barred flag, running his fingers over it now and again before finally looking up at the blond. The smile was small, but it conveyed his feelings better than his ungraceful English skills could have ever hoped, and Cloud was more than 

satisfied. The tender moment was short lived, however, when Leon happened to glance over at his cousin, who was carefully removing his stuffed animal from the cardboard box. The silver haired man was trying a little too hard to look disinterested; something that Zack was broken-heartedly buying and Leon was not.

"**A turtle?"**

Sephiroth forced himself to drop the thing back in the box, desperately trying to convince himself that he wasn't worried that the thing had landed uncomfortably. Leon caught the quick, downward flick of concerned green eyes.

"**You love it. And don't even try to deny it. I know you. That's how you used to look when you heard the ice-cream truck, only…cuddlier…" **

Sephiroth opened his mouth to deny the claim, though decided that a subject change would probably be the best approach. He was not allowed that chance, however, as Leon turned to a depressed looking Zack.

"He likes. Very much."

Violet eyes perked up at the brunet's words. Reno's head snapped up as well.

"Cool! It can talk!"

Zack reached over and quickly smacked the man on the back of the head.

"Of course he can talk." He turned his attention to Sephiroth.

"Do you really like it? Because if you don't then you don't have to keep it. I kept the receipt just in case. We can take it back tomorrow if—"

The raven haired man was spared from his own ramble when Sephiroth leaned over, pressing his lips against his in a brief, embarrassed kiss, made worse by the loud "whoop" that Reno had felt obligated to release. He pulled away slowly, glancing down at the turtle before up again at Zack.

"Ja. I do like it."

With that and a small smile, Sephiroth removed the turtle from the box and held it in his lap, tossing a look at Leon and Cloud, daring them to say something. Cloud held up his hands defensively and Leon stared at him for just a moment before his eyes fell back onto the book in his hands, memories of his day with Cloud washing over him. Glancing back over to the blond, Leon reached over and touched the man's arm.

"Thank you, Clout."

Cloud gave a winning smile, pleased that he had made a good decision. With the brunet smiling at his book, Sephiroth's own lips softly upturned at the small thing in his lap, and Zack's face expressing a dazed, overwhelming pleasure at Sephiroth's reaction, Reno jumped up from the floor. He had Christmas at this house down to an art, and he knew exactly what came after the jolly-joy happy time.

"Well guys, I really, really thank you for the pretzels. These are going to be awesome, I can tell. I'm really sorry but I have to bolt. Have to, like…go say Merry Christmas to sick kids or something, yo. Have fun cleanin' up."

He bore a lazy grin as he spoke, all the while backing towards the entrance of the house. Just before slipping out, the redhead gave the room's occupants one last smile.

"Hope you guys enjoy the underwear."

Cloud glared at the front door as it closed loudly. Reno always disappeared right after the gift exchange. Leave it to the redhead to be absolutely no help whatsoever. He sure had no trouble ripping apart their house, but as soon as it came time to clean up- He was gone. Not that Cloud could blame him. He, himself, was considering faking an asthma attack to get out of housework. The only thing stopping him was the memory of the last time he had attempted such an act. It resulted in him being carried bridle-style down the stairwell of their apartment complex, the whole while Zack was screaming "We need a doctor! Is there a doctor in the house?!"

He really didn't want to go there again.

Zack twisted from side to side, popping his back before beginning the agonizing process of standing from the floor. With the help of he coffee table and a certain unwilling blond's shoulder, the man made it to his feet with little to no difficulties. Once he had achieved the stance that had earned all human kind the very suggestive title of "_homo erectus," _Zack surveyed the room around him. Sephiroth stared blankly up at him from the floor, as did his younger cousin. Cloud, however, seemed to be thinking the same thing at his dark haired friend.

Zack sighed.

"Damn."

Cloud made a sound in the back of his throat, not quite humored enough to be a laugh, but not cynical enough to be a snort. He twisted his head to gaze at the man standing above him.

"My thoughts exactly."

The four men looked around the living room, Cloud frantically trying to gain sight of the floor in at least one part of the room. The best he could manage was part of the rug, but he figured that counted.

"Guess we should…uh…"

Zack toed a large balled up mess of wrapping paper with his foot, unwilling to finish the sentence. Cloud released a heavy breath.

"Yea, I guess we should…"

Sephiroth and Leon held their silence, content with watching the two miserable men next to them. Leon turned his head to the side, regarding his cousin in the corner of his eye.

"**I don't want to help."**

Sephiroth watched as Cloud continued to stare mournfully at the messy room.

"**If you don't help clean up, you probably won't get laid tonight."**

Zack was torn from willing the room to clean itself by a loud thump, Leon having just collapsed backwards onto the floor with a miserable groan.

"I hear ya, buddy. I hear ya."



Sephiroth watched, unimpressed, as Leon lay unhappily on the floor staring upwards. He shook his head before standing up and joining Zack.

"I haff one condition. I vill not touch zat tree."

Zack laughed, regarding the tree for a short moment before letting his eyes trail over the man standing next to him.

"Anything you say, babe."

_**.33**_

It didn't take as long as they thought it would, but then again, it almost never did. The process was also greatly sped along with two new helpers on the scene. While Zack took up his usual job of removing the tree, and Cloud's of vacuuming up all of the pine needles and picking up stray branches, Sephiroth and Leon made quick work of all of the indoor and outdoor Christmas lights, shoving them into large trash bags which soon found their way into the bathroom closet. The wrapping paper mess hadn't been much of a job at all when split between the four of them, and had been taken care of first. Ms. Barabara probably wouldn't be too thrilled by the countless bags of trash and the mangled looking Christmas tree that now sat in the hallway, but Zack decided he couldn't care less. He looked slightly less confident, however, when Cloud reminded the dark haired man that they had yet to see Ms. Barabara that day to exchange sentiments, and doubtlessly receive some bizarre gift from the old woman. Unfortunately for

Zack, that moment came much sooner than anticipated.

He had been attempting to untie Santa Claus from the balcony when he'd heard the knock at the door. The power chord that he had been holding out of the way between his teeth was quickly pushed out as he turned his head, hoping to find someone else to get the door. He was, after all, just a bit busy. He was pleased to see a mass of silver move from the side of the hallway, Sephiroth waving dismissively at him, as though giving him permission to carry on.

Rolling his eyes as Zack resumed man handling Santa from the balcony ledge, Sephiroth allowed himself a half smile as he pulled open the door. He quickly traded the expression for a sneer when he saw who waited at the door.

"Oh, ze voman who sends me to jail. So good to see you."

Ms. Barabara glared up him momentarily before making a short 'hmph' noise. She tried looking past the towering man, hoping to catch a glimpse of blond or brunet, Cloud and Leon having been the only two people in the apartment she had come to see. Her task was made difficult, though, when Sephiroth simply shut the door in her face.

Cloud rounded the corner of his room to see Sephiroth walking away from the front door with a slight frown on his face. This wasn't too unusual, as the silver haired man often frowned, though it was the additive of someone knocking at the door that drew his attention. His interest was certainly piqued. He cast a look towards Zack, who was doing his best to look entirely wrapped up in untangling Santa from his power chord. Any fool could see that the plastic figure was not actually knotted, but Cloud decided he would let it be for now. If Zack 

wanted to ignore him, that was fine. He just had better remember this when he needed to borrow chapstick, because he certainly wasn't sharing.

Pulling open the front door, Cloud was greeted by a huffy looking Barbara, whose demeanor went from ticked to ecstatic in two seconds flat.

"Merry Christmas, Honey!" And she was upon him.

Zack watched in disgust as his neighbor hugged Cloud, the woman reeking of adoration and love. Why in the hell didn't she like _him_?! He was Zack! _Everyone_ liked him! He rolled his eyes to himself. Whatever, he made out with Sephiroth on a regular basis, who needed old, bitchy neighbors? He spared the two another glance before resuming his efforts to get Santa away from the banister.

Cloud smiled down at the old woman, genuinely pleased to see her. She reminded him a lot of his grandmother, only better. His grandma couldn't cook.

"Merry Christmas, Ms. Barbara."

He noticed as the old woman's eyes brightened, their direction somewhere over his shoulder.

"Aw, and there's my other little darling! I don't know you too well yet, honey, but don't worry, I will!"

Cloud turned to see a puzzled Leon, who had just strode out from his room towards the couch. The brunet offered a small smile to the elderly neighbor, who continued to coo. Laughing to himself, Cloud led Barbara into the living room, much to Zack's displeasure. The blond took a seat next to Leon, while Ms. Barbara sat down in the rarely used wicker chair after dragging it closer to them.

"Aw, aren't you two just adorable?" The old woman shook with excitement as she brought her fisted hands up to her cheeks, smiling widely at the two boys.

"You remind me of me and my Earl. We were so happy together…it's such a shame that he had to pass..."

Cloud respectfully dropped his eyes while Leon stared onwards, unable to look away while trying to process and convert everything he'd just been told.

Sephiroth happened to be passing through the room, toting a box of Lord only knew what when he caught the expression on his cousins face.

"**She said you and Cloud remind her of her and her husband before he died. I wonder if it was suicide."**

Leon tried not snicker at his cousin's comments, nodded gratefully at him before looking back to Ms. Barabara, watching as she gave Sephiroth the stink eye. Sephiroth was content to stare right back at her, a smirk gracing his lips.

"Leon vants to know vat happened. Respectfully, of course."

The old woman made an adoring face at the brunet, leaning slightly to rest a hand on his cheek.

Leon had no idea what had happened. Cloud looked horrified. Even Zack had dropped back into the room upon hearing the request. He was fairly certain that Leon hadn't suggested his cousin ask such a question, as he hadn't heard Leon's voice at any point, but he had heard the story of his neighbor's husband a few times, and it just never got old.



"You're such a sweetheart, dear, and don't you worry your pretty little head. It's been quite some time, and its gotten easier for me to talk about it."

Leon remained still for a second before remembering that the woman refused to accept that he didn't understand what she was saying, and nodded enthusiastically Satisfied, Ms. Barabara settled her hands in her lap.

"My Earl had to work late one night, and on the way home he was…in a horrible car accident. He was involved in a fatal head on collision with a Miller Light truck…The driver of the truck was killed on impact, but the medics say that Earl hung on for over half an hour. He was in such horrible agony. I remember that by the time I got there, they had most of his limbs scooped up into a pile, though they still never did find his right foot."

She paused for a moment, taking in a sad breath. Meanwhile, Cloud kept his eyes downcast while Zack stood concealed in the doorway, obviously biting the insides of his cheeks. Sephiroth just looking fucking horrified.

"Insurance didn't cover it, either, since no one could prove if either driver was under the influence or not. When the truck collided with Earl's, the cargo hold released. Beer was everywhere. Both bodies were so mutilated, and so permeated with the spilled beer that the doctors couldn't get an accurate blood-alcohol level reading." She sighed this time, her eyes finding their way from a picture on the wall down into her lap. The room fell into absolute silence before Barabara popped up from the couch with more agility than Zack swore anyone over sixty should possess and began making her way to the door.

"Well thank you boys for a lovely visit, I really must be getting back home now! It's almost time for my stories and I have a lasagna in the oven! I'll be sure to send some over!"

And just like that she was gone, leaving in her wake a depressed Cloud, a humored Zack, a confused Leon, and a highly disturbed Sephiroth.

Leon turned to his cousin, taking in the wide eyed look on his face.

"**What the hell just happened?"**

Sephiroth blinked slowly, turning his head from where the old woman had retreated.

"…**I will tell you later."**

The brunet only nodded as the pale man turned and made his way into his bedroom, his stiff posture not lost on Leon. Well whatever that woman said, he might have been better off not knowing.

With the old woman gone, it was just the four men alone in the house once more. With Christmas over, they were left with a feeling of emptiness. It was the hole that Christmas always did tend to leave. The holiday would get you so worked up, but the actual morning of Christmas was over so quickly. Then all that was left was the mess to clean up, and even that had been done already.

Zack released a heavy sigh, coming to sit with Cloud and Leon on the couch.

"This sucks."

Cloud raised an eyebrow, turning a skeptical look over to his friend.

"What does?"

Zack looked back at him for a moment, unable to supply an answer. The dark haired man only turned his head to stare blandly at the blank television screen, shifting in his seat. Cloud glared 

at the man, hoping that he wasn't planning on returning to his evil ways now that Christmas was out of the way. He'd hate to have to murder his best friend.

_**.33**_

_Seventeen_

Zack, Cloud, Leon, Sephiroth, Reno, and Axel were all smashed around the coffee table, watching the television as the whole world counted down to the New Year. The people in Time Square were going crazy, yet the men in the house couldn't help but wonder if anyone could be having a better time than they were.

Axel was seated on the arm of the sofa next to Zack, the two of them wearing horribly decorated hats, and Cloud was sure that he was going to be finding the glitter from them around the house for months. Reno was sitting Indian style on the floor between the couch and the table, next to Sephiroth, the two of them passing a bowl of assorted nuts back and forth with Reno taking heavy pulls from his bottle of whiskey in between bites. Cloud sat on the couch holding a bottle of beer that he would hand off to Leon once in a while. The brunet was lying on the couch with his head in Cloud's lap and his feet pressed up against the side of Zack's leg.

_Fourteen_

The entire evening had been spent with the five of them sitting around playing various games, watching Zack and Reno as they acted out animated and hilarious stories, and just enjoying each other's company in general. No one in the house, other than Reno or Axel, was a _heavy_ drinker, though the boys had all felt obligated to have at least a beer each, since everyone knew that it just wasn't the New Year if you weren't _slightly_ buzzed. Reno was having himself a lovely time sucking on his bottle of whiskey, while Zack was on his third beer. Axel had opted out of any heavy liquor for the evening, stating that unlike the rest of them, he had to be up and swabbing floors the next morning. This being true, he cracked open his seventh can. Sephiroth had taken two sips of his and turned his nose up at it, claiming he didn't drink goat urine. He then entertained the group with a seven minute rant on how only Germany could produce _true_ alcohol, and any other country's attempt was just pathetic and offensive. Leon was less picky than his elder cousin, though he had agreed with Germany's superiority when it came to brewing. He and Cloud had been sharing one, neither of them really in the mood to drink much anyway. It seemed like it was really all those two could do to stay awake, which was something that Cloud never could understand. Any given night of the week he could easily stay up until three am, but suddenly New Years rolls around and he's ready to pass out by ten. It never did make any sense to him, and he was just grateful that Leon seemed to suffer the same condition.

_Nine_



The countdown was entering the single digits, and you could feel the excitement shared by the world, despite the fact that in the morning, January first would feel no different than the proceeding day. As the crowd on the television continued to cheer and party, the newswoman popped up in the corner of the screen.

"It's getting to be that time, so I hope everyone has their sweetie close by for the New Years kiss!" The woman smiled as she held her microphone, and the camera man zoomed over her shoulder to film the large, ornate ball from a different angle than the large version on the screen.

_Eight_

Sephiroth cocked his head at the television broadcast, his interest piqued by the woman's words. Setting down the bowl of nuts, which was really only peanuts now, as he and Reno had selectively eaten all of the cashews and pecans, he leaned over to the redhead next to him, careful not to draw attention from the rest of the group.

"Vat is New Years kiss?"

Reno jolted, his attention having been solely focused on the glittery ball on camera. He smiled at the pale haired man, cocking his bottle slightly in an offhanded gesture.

"That's what ya do on New Years. Ya kiss someone. Spose to be all sappy and shit, I guess." He wiggled his eye brows, which took a great deal of effort considering the amount of alcohol currently coursing though his bloodstream.

"Why, you wanna try?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and leaned away from the less than sober redhead. Reno only offered a sloppy grin and turned his attention back to the television. Sephiroth, on the other hand, stared at the coffee table, finding himself lost in thought.

_Seven_

Cloud smiled to himself as he watched the screen, wondering if he would be wholly abused for taking part in something as cliché as the New Years kiss. He was sure that he would, but he was also pretty sure he could live with that. After all, at least he _had_ someone to share such a kiss with. The thought struck him as strange, oddly sentimental, and he found himself bombarded with an explosion of emotions.

It was true, he supposed, this time last year (hell, this time six months ago), he wouldn't have given such a mindless tradition any thought, as he had no one to waste such sentiments on. For two years now he had been almost exclusively single, only a few flings through out when loneliness got too strong to bare. He gazed down at the brunet head in his lap. Leon. Until Leon waltzed into his life, more specifically, his apartment, he had been alone. He hadn't even realized that he had missed companionship until the chocolate haired German reminded him of what it felt like to care and be cared about. Sure, he had Zack, but that wasn't the same. As amazing as friendship was, he couldn't help but realize that he needed more in his life than the most wonderful friend he could ever ask for.

_Six_

Making up his mind, he decided that he couldn't give two shits if Zack tormented him for doing it the next morning; he was going to kiss Leon, and he was going to be filled to the brim with all of the silly romantic feelings that that kiss would bring him. Besides, Zack didn't need to know that he would probably remember that moment for the rest of his life. It wasn't like he couldn't brag about it anyway, since Zack sure as hell wasn't getting any kiss tonight. Not unless Reno decided he was that drunk (which he very well may have been).

_Five_

Zack watched the television, his eyes dropping periodically down to the head of fine silver hair sitting on the floor in front of him. Neither of them knew it, but the thoughts racing though he and Cloud's minds were frighteningly similar. There was one key difference, though. Zack knew that he couldn't do it. He was doing too well with Sephiroth, he was making too much progress to risk throwing it away. He knew that kissing Sephiroth in front of the others would embarrass the man, and would push him farther away. Sighing in depression, Zack allowed himself a small smile. It was okay. He would sacrifice whatever he had to if it meant winning the gorgeous man's affections, no matter how distant the pay off would be. No, he decided, he would miss out on the New Years kiss. While it seemed like such a waste, it was just the way it had to be.

_Four_

Reno gave a shrill laugh, raising his bottle into the air at the countdown neared the end, the ball already beginning its journey downward. New Years had always been one of his favorite holidays, as it had always consisted of spending it with Zack and Cloud, getting delightfully smashed, and just plain out having a fucking awesome time. Axel answered his laugh with a cheer of his own, the two redheads leaned around the cluster of bodies to knock their glasses together. It was not an easy feat, as it required getting around Sephiroth and Zack, though it would seem that every once in a while, gangly limbs came in handy. The two delirious redheads cheered again, and Reno shifted his position to raise his bottle to Leon and Cloud. Since Leon was the one holding the beer at this moment, he rolled grey eyes and offered a smile, reluctantly lifting his can to clank it against Reno's drink.

Satisfied, Reno spun back around, leaving Leon to stare up at Cloud.

_Three_

He really was beautiful, there was no disputing that fact. Leon allowed himself a genuine smile as he watching the excitement dance on Cloud's face. The blond seemed to be enjoying himself, which made Leon happy to no end. If only he weren't so god damn tired already. Remembering this, he worked to suppress a yawn. He cocked an eyebrow as he watched blue eyes dart down to meet his before looking away just as quickly, a smile spreading over those thin lips. That was interesting. Leon shrugged mentally. He supposed if Cloud wanted to be coy and mysterious, that was entirely his prerogative. Besides, it made him all the more 

amusing, and if Cloud was anything, he was amusing. He was also dead fucking sexy. Leon wasn't sure which quality he admired more.

_Two_

The countdown was headed quickly for the final count, and Sephiroth had absolutely made up his mind. For all of the generosity Zack had shown him, he could at least give him this one, simple thing. After all, it was tradition.

Cloud dropped his eyes again, this time holding the gaze of stormy grey he met in his lap. A felt a smile touch his lips, and he felt his heart rate increase when a matching one passed over Leon's as well. He withheld a sigh as a tanned hand reached up to brush his cheek, his smile growing. In the background he heard cheering from the two drunken redheads and Time Square, but as Leon pushed himself upwards on his elbows, Cloud easily tuned them out, and leaning forward he met Leon halfway there, their smiling lips pressing together softly, both wondering why this, out of all the things they had done so far, was what made their cheeks flare red and their pulses race.

Zack watched as the two men next to him shared one of the most painfully romantic moments he had ever been forced to bare witness to. He was happy for the two, insanely happy, but he was also insanely jealous. He smiled when the two men parted. Even though their lips were no longer touching, their held their positions, just staring back at one another. He jumped slightly when he felt an unexpected movement, followed by a hand on each of his thighs. Turning his head faster than should have been possible, he was met with bright, green eyes. Sephiroth was turned around and on his knees in front of him, bracing himself upwards and keeping his balance with his grip on Zack's legs. Zack looked confused and Sephiroth smirked, quickly moving forward to capture Zack's lips in what started as a chaste kiss. Zack's eyes widened at the contact, not quite believing the situation. He was disappointed to feel Sephiroth pull away so soon, though that was quelled when Sephiroth leaned forward once more, this time flicking his tongue at Zack's lips. Violet eyes widened before slipping shut and Zack lifted his hands to pull Sephiroth's face closer, catching those smirking lips in a full kiss.

Leon and Cloud broke their lingering stare, a movement in their peripheral having caught their attention. Leon's eyes doubled in size at the absolutely obscene display going on at his feet, wondering just when he and his cousin had switched roles. Since when did he partake in sweet, loving kisses while Sephiroth engaged in what was damn near pornographic lip locking? He shook his head, knowing that he wouldn't have traded the kiss he'd just shared for anything, and was actually very proud of his elder cousin for doing something that looked so…slutty.

Cloud was having a harder time believing the situation. He shook his head. He really hadn't seen that coming. He knew he'd be hearing this story from Zack every New Years for the rest of their lives though. Watching the dazed and overjoyed expression on his best friends face, he knew that he wouldn't mind that at all.

_One_



Sephiroth pulled back from Zack, looking over his shoulder as the enormous ball dropped and the crowd reached a new level of unruly. Zack tried to do the same, but he found himself unable to look away from Sephiroth, delighted in how the man's arms had wound up wrapped around the back of his neck in an effort to maintain their position. His own hands were split between holding the side of Sephiroth's face and grasping the side of his ribcage, just bellow the other man's armpit. At a stifled noise, he did manage to turn his head, however, to see Cloud and Leon staring at him. Both of them bore pleasant and knowing smiles. He grinned back.

As the ball dropped completely and the cheering from the television died down, Axel sighed and stood up from the arm of the couch, staggering slightly on his feet. He stretched in a feline manner before running his large hands though unkempt hair, the same lazy smile in place, as it had been all night.

"Well guys, it's been great. Another year under our belts, and I thank you for, yet again, inviting me to be a part of it. My New Years resolution is to hopefully repay you all the kindness that you've shown me from day one. I love all you guys. Even the noobs."

Axel was oddly sentimental when tipsy, and it only got worse when he was just full blown drunk. Sephiroth gave the redhead a strange look, untangling his arms from around Zack's neck and standing up beside him.

" I'm going to bett."

Axel's vision swam as he tried to focus on the man next to him.

"Gonna bet what?"

Sephiroth glared and rolled his eyes, concentrating very heavily on getting the desired "d" sound.

"To _bed._ Goodnight."

Axel smiled, waving the already retreating man off. The red head then turned to the rest of the group, who was slowly beginning to stand from their places.

"I'll be doing to same." He backed unsteadily towards the door.

"See you guys later."

Zack, Cloud, and Leon said their goodbyes to the off-duty janitor before sharing a look amongst each other. Zack couldn't help but smile at how closely Cloud and Leon stood next to each other. His smile only grew when he looked down at their feet, having noticed them being once body short, according to his count. On the floor beneath them, Reno laid passed out, bottle of whiskey still in hand. It was empty now, so Cloud couldn't care less if them man knocked it over in his sleep. The blond smiled, rolling his eyes.

"Let's just leave him there." He grabbed Leon's hand with one of his own, using his other to shield a yawn. He offered Zack another smile.

"I'm beat. Goodnight Zack, Happy New Years."

Zack grinned, stepping forward to wrap his arms around the smaller man in a tight hug. Cloud momentarily let go of Leon to return the gesture.

"Happy New Year, Cloud."

Letting go of the blond, Zack turned to Leon, pulling the brunet into a friendly embrace, as well.



"Happy New Year, Leon."

The brunet gave a sleepy laugh, mumbling the sentiment in response.

The two men watched fondly as Zack gave them a final smile before trekking off to his room. Padding down the hallway and into their own, Cloud and Leon stood together before their bed. They stared at on another with bleary, sleep deprived eyes. Every single night since their first time, the two of them had shared each other's bodies, often multiple times per evening. Tonight, though, there seemed to be a mutual understanding that passed between them, the need for sleep overriding whatever sort of nightly ritual they had recently established. They gently settled into the blanket covered bed, happily curling up together, Cloud's head tucked beneath Leon's chin. They'd just have to have twice as much sex tomorrow.

_**.33**_

Zack stood in the doorway of the room, watching Sephiroth from behind as the man walked over to the dresser and moved a few things around, seeming to have no particular goal in mind. He took in the man's features, smiling to himself and shaking his head. It had been a wonderful night, a terrific New Years, and he could still feel that kiss on his lips. Zack decided that he didn't care if it meant he'd have to masturbate in the cold, lonesome shower stall; He wanted to kiss Sephiroth again. Grinning, he stealthily crossed the small room, coming up to stand beside the silver haired man and lifted a hand to rest on the small of his back.

Sephiroth turned to look at him with curious green eyes, lingering on Zack momentarily before going back down to the dresser. He wasn't exactly sure what he was doing; Just trying to look busy, sliding things around, he supposed. He continued to look at the miscellaneous items on the dresser top, moving a framed picture of Zack with presumably his family to rest a little further back, while stacking a cluster of spare change into a neat pile. He could feel Zack's eyes on him, though he didn't return the gaze. He hid a smile as he noticed Zack fidget, obviously impatient that he wouldn't turn and look at him. He laughed internally as he felt Zack's hand trace a little further up his spine, and the violet eyed man took a step closer to him, pressing his chest and stomach to Sephiroth's side. The silent laughing ceased, however, when a pair of warm lips leaned in and pressed against his neck.

Green eyes slid closed as Zack pulled his lips away, just barely, still able to feel the man's nose drag along his skin before a second kiss was placed just a few centimeters above the first. Sephiroth hummed quietly, allowing Zack to turn him so that they stood face to face. He tried to repress his unease as the raven haired man raised a hand to the back of his head and pulled their lips together, knowing that tonight, it wasn't going to end with a kiss and a neglected erection to ignore. Tonight was going to be different.

Chiding himself for getting nervous over something so silly, Sephiroth smirked against Zack's lips, taking a few steps backwards towards the bed. Zack was all too happy to follow along, never stopping the series of closed mouth kisses he was placing against Sephiroth's lips. Sephiroth felt the back of his legs bump against the bed. Zack noticed this as well, though saw 

no reason why their journey should end just here. He snickered before nudging Sephiroth backwards, enjoying the other man as he gazed up from his new position, propping himself up with his elbows, his silver hair ruffled and all over the place. He was beautiful. Deviant green eyes bore into lusty violet as Zack released a heavy breath and crawled over the other man. Sephiroth's hands quickly found Zack's hips, and he pressed his lips against those of the shocked raven-haired man, smirking as Zack groaned.

Zack was unbelievably turned on by all of this, silently taking great joy in the fact that Sephiroth was being a significantly more outgoing this evening. He felt the silver haired man's lips move away from his own, feeling them, instead, move to place light kisses along his jaw line and neck, wondering just what in the hell he did to get so lucky.

Sephiroth continued to press kisses against Zack's neck, lifting his head to nibble gently at his ear before doing something that Zack hadn't exactly expected. Ignoring Zack's questioning look, Sephiroth simply smirked up at him before rolling them over, so that he was very quickly smirking _down_. Zack went from confused to stunned, not quite believing the turn of events. Something was definitely off tonight. Every make out session they had participated in up until this point had either been standing up, or lying side by side. Never had Sephiroth permitted either party to be on top of or beneath the other.

Wide violet eyes stared blindly upwards as Sephiroth attacked his mouth once more, feeling himself grow impossibly harder as he felt the other man's hand snake up his shirt and drag his nails sharply down his stomach. Zack released a hiss of pleasure that turned into a moan as those fingers moved to trace along his stomach again, this time simply dancing over the skin, occasionally playing around his belly button. First the midnight kiss and now this. Yep, something was definitely up. Wanting to be absolutely sure, Zack decided to try something that, up until now, he had never _ever_ been allowed to do without immediate consequence. As he caught Sephiroth's bottom lip in between his teeth, giving it a playful bite, he slipped one of his hands down from Sephiroth's hip, slowly coming to rest on the silver haired man's ass. When he received nothing but a short moan of approval, it was all he could do to keep from ripping the other man's clothes off. He released another groan as he gave Sephiroth's ass a firm squeeze, moving his head to the side to separate their lips.

"Seph…" He stated the other's name in a breathy voice, staring up into hooded green cat eyes. They continued to simply stare at one another as Zack took his other hand, lowering it further than the first to grasp at Sephiroth's thigh. Sephiroth smirked then, and slid from where he had been kneeling to press his body flush with Zack's, grinding their hips together and giving a shaky, breathy moan against the violet eyed man's neck. Zack, at first, just lay still, reveling in the feeling as Sephiroth rubbed down against him, dragging their bodies together, shivering as their restrained erections pressed against each other. His eyes slid closed and his lips parted, his mouth opened and he breathed heavily. He clutched tightly at Sephiroth's hips, crushing their bodies even closer together. He could now cross 'dry humping' off of his list of things to do with a silver haired, green eyed, German exchange student.

Grinning slightly at the thought, Zack decided to take a change of pace. If things had taken a turn in this direction, surely he was allowed some liberties as well. He knew for a fact that he 

would not try to have sex tonight, since the violet eyed man knew better than the press his luck. Certainly, though, he could get something equally pleasurable out of this?

Zack pressed a hand against Sephiroth chest, coaxing the other man to rise up, continuing to push until Sephiroth was straddling his hips. He only grinned in response as green eyes peered curiously down at him before he pushed himself up with an arm, his other hand snaking around Sephiroth's waist, nudging the man in a way that suggested he should lie down. Sephiroth got the message and allowed himself to be pushed against the mattress, holding Zack's gaze as the raven haired man half laid beside him, half hovered over him. His eyes widened as he felt a hand dance up his thigh, lightly moving over the restricted erection beneath his pants. His gazed flicked between Zack's hand and Zack's eyes before his lips parted in a silent moan. Zack smirked at Sephiroth's reaction as he palmed the bulge in his hand roughly, kneading the man though his clothing and drinking in the labored breathing he received in response.

"Zock..."

Zack's smirk slid off of his face and his eyes fell closed, a shudder raking though his frame when Sephiroth's accented voice whispered his name. He felt a hand grip the back of his neck, and felt himself be pulled down against panting lips. He indulged in a deep, fiery kiss before he stopped what he had been doing, earning a quiet, disappointed noise from the man beneath him. He parted their kiss and smiled down at Sephiroth before flicking the button to his pants and tugging sharply to remove them. He got them down to about mid thigh before Sephiroth took over the job, moving his legs and kicking the article of clothing off entirely, his shirt quickly following suit. Mesmerized at the image lain out before him, Zack could only stare for a few passing moments. He hadn't imagined that he would have Sephiroth completely naked anytime soon, and certainly not that the man would have undressed _himself._

Zack watched as Sephiroth turned fully towards him, lifting his hands to rest on Zack's hips, large, green eyes boring into his own. Zack smiled when he felt those hands slide upwards, beginning the process of pushing his shirt over his head. He found himself wondering if Sephiroth had ever taken part in anything of this nature before, unable to come up with an answer either way, and figuring that asking would kill the mood. Shaking his head, he lowered his body down to Sephiroth's, pressing their groins together, relishing in the pressure of their erections meeting, though still through the layer of Zack's pants. Shivering as Sephiroth dragged his nails down the side of his ribcage, Zack rolled so that he was hovering above the other man once more, this time determined.

Using one hand to support his weight, Zack let his other travel back down Sephiroth's body, lingering and tracing invisible circles on his hip before dancing around the base of his erection. The teasing earned him a growl an impatient bite on his earlobe, which hardly registered as a punishment in Zack's lust-clouded mind. Inclining his head, Zack placed a set of kisses against Sephiroth's throat before moving his hand to grasp firmly at the other man's erection. He was rewarded with a deep, rumbling noise that seem to work it's way slowly from Sephiroth's now arching form, letting him know that he was definitely doing something right. A few more kisses on Sephiroth's throat were placed before Zack withdrew slightly, hoisting himself up with his left hand to stare down at Sephiroth while beginning to stroke the man roughly in his right. He wanted to watch every reaction Sephiroth made while he touched him, hoping to memorize 

every facial expression and every labored breath. He felt his neglected arousal throb as heavily lidded viridian eyes cracked slowly open, gazing up at him as their owner twisted slightly on the bed, his body spasming every so often at the attention it was receiving. Zack smiled down in appreciation at the beautiful sight below him, dragging a finger across the head of Sephiroth's member before resuming the rhythmic stroking, though this time at a faster pace. Sephiroth's eyes closed tightly and he lifted a heavy hand to clutch at Zack's waist, craning his head to the side to place a kiss against the hand beside his head. Zack watched the silver haired man kiss one of his fingers before a second kiss was placed on his wrist. The way the man's frame kept twitching told him that it wouldn't be too much longer, anticipation getting to him at the thought of Sephiroth returning the favor.

He felt Sephiroth pull him downwards, allowing himself to be lowered and pulled into a kiss, delighting in the strained groan that was expelled against his lips as he felt the grip on his waist tighten to the point of discomfort and a hot liquid spilled in his hand. He felt Sephiroth's chest heaving beneath him as the lingering effects of the orgasm washed over the other man's body. Violet eyes stared down at Sephiroth's face, taking in the beautiful features, green eyes currently closed in pleasure. Unable to deny his own body any longer, Zack ground his torturous erection into a nude thigh, Sephiroth's eyes opening to leer at him in a way that was nothing less than arousing. Zack shivered at the vicious smirk that curled over Sephiroth's lips, watching as the silver haired man cocked his head to the side, the devious expression making the usually innocent gesture less genuine. Sephiroth's eyes danced down Zack's stressed body before snapping back up to peer coyly into bright violet.

"_Start in English……__** end in German…**__"_

Zack shivered at the statement he didn't quite understand, and the half that he had didn't make any sense at all. Really though, it didn't matter what Sephiroth had said, all that mattered was how he'd said it. Zack took a deep intake of breath as the hand on his waist moved to his chest, pushing him to the side to allow the man room to sit up. Once he was sitting, Sephiroth turned his anything but innocent gaze to the bulge straining against the fabric of Zack's pants. The raven haired man was almost unable to stop his eyes from rolling in to the back of his head, the idea of what that look promised to bring him was pushing him a little too far, too fast. Smiling back, Zack moved so that he was lying down on his back, his arms folded behind his head in an attempt to look a little more collected than he actually was. His eyes slid closed and his lips parted slightly when Sephiroth crawled over him, straddling his knees and wasting no time in unfastening the button of Zack's jeans. Zack felt his aching cock be freed as Sephiroth pulled down the zipper, cool air rushing over his overheated body as the pants were removed from his being. A clipped breath escaped him as Sephiroth trailed nimble hands up his thighs, one resting on his leg and the other moving to drag a finger up the neglected, dripping length. Despite his body's natural desire to relax completely, Zack refused to close his eyes for one second, unable to stand the thought of not witnessing this in full detail. He gazed lustily, unable to tear his eyes away as the finger that had been traveling slowly up the shaft made a few lazy circles over the tip, Sephiroth's gaze was directed somewhere across the room with an uninterested look on his face, although there was a telltale smirk to be found in his eyes. Zack writhed at the delicate treatment, feeling absolutely stunned at the current situation, yet 

greedily wanting more. When Sephiroth turned his head to finally regard him and their position, the look on his face was positively feral, and Zack felt part of his brain go numb. Slowly and confidently, Sephiroth lowered his head, bringing his lips to hover just above the head of Zack's burning cock, staring smugly around the hardened flesh and into Zack's wide eyes. Zack watched as Sephiroth watched _him_, though was unable to meet the man's gaze, far too enraptured with the pink tongue that was slipping out from between thin, cruel lips, his back arching as he felt the hot muscle lap lightly at the tip of his erection.

Sephiroth continued to smirk the best he that could while dragging his tongue along the entirety of Zack's length, making the trip a few times before swirling his tongue over the head and eventually letting his mouth encircle the entire tip. Zack moaned loudly when he felt the wet heat engulf him partly, his hands leaving their place on their own accord, traveling swiftly to grasp at Sephiroth's soft hair, simultaneously fighting through the shock that he wasn't getting jerked off by the gorgeous German. No, he was going to get a fucking blowjob. It was a hard thought to wrap his mind around, but all care instantly left him when he felt Sephiroth's mouth sink lower on his member, the flat of the man's tongue wriggling in all the right ways as he bobbed his head in a miserably slow fashion.

"Fuck, Seph…" Was all that Zack could manage to convey as Sephiroth's pace grew a bit faster, the silver haired man pausing from bobbing his head once in a while to simply suck feverously on the tip of Zack's cock. The whole time he lavished Zack's body, calculative green eyes continued to stare intensely into the other man's. The heated gaze greeting him and the slick mouth assaulting his body, licking and applying suction in the perfect places was proving to do Zack in faster than he would have liked. Zack groaned again under the scrutiny and attention, his breath catching in his throat as Sephiroth threw yet another surprise at him, sinking his head lower still, swallowing the entirety of Zack's erection, his nose pressing against the skin at the base. Zack felt his world spin as Sephiroth swallowed, the tightening muscles in his throat squeezing him in a way that he had never felt before. He groaned loudly, to which Sephiroth only chuckled, sending waves of vibrations through Zack's cock. Zack's back arched off of the bed completely as he felt the tightness in his belly grow with unbelievably strength. He released an agonizing moan as Sephiroth swallowed again, feeling the molten fire erupt, his fingers fastening themselves tighter into Sephiroth's hair as he came, emptying himself in the back of Sephiroth's throat.

It took him several moments to regain awareness of his surroundings, missing as Sephiroth let the softening organ slip from his lips to crawl up beside him. Rolling over, Zack's eyes met Sephiroth's skeptical expression.

"…Fuck, Seph." He laughed slightly at his own words, unable to come up with anything else.

"Yes, you keep saying zat."

Zack continued to smile, gazing affectionately at the man next to him before settling down closely to him. He wrapped an arm around Sephiroth's bare shoulders, pressing his face against the crown of the silver head. Sephiroth rolled his eyes, a gesture that was lost against Zack's collar bone, but allowed himself to be held in the position.



"You know," Zack started, adjusting his face so that the hair wasn't quite so ticklish. Sephiroth remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm sure you are well aware of this, but I just wanted to tell you. I really, and I mean _really_, like you. A lot. More than I know what to do with."

Zack fell silent after the words left his lips, waiting for a reaction. He tensed when he felt the body in his arms shift away from him slightly, soon finding a pair of green eyes regarding him casually.

"I vould hope so...**after that.**" Zack raised a questioning eyebrow at his relaxed lover. Well, kind of lover. He wasn't sure what you called the person that you exchanged sexual favors with, without actually crossing the line into intercourse itself. Zack shook his head, wondering why his brain was choosing now of all times to debate what he usually just accepted at face value.

"Sorry Seph, didn't quite catch that last part."

"No need to vorry over it."

Seph scooted closer to him and Zack wrapped an arm around him, grinning as the silver haired man shifted for a little bit before stilling completely. He doubted Sephiroth had fallen asleep that quickly, he suspected more than the man wasn't as well-versed in the art of pillow talk as he was other things. Continuing to smile, Zack felt as the warm, rhythmic breath brushing past his ear lulled him into one of the better night's sleep he'd had in a long time.

_**.33**_

Six-o-clock in the morning had become somewhat of a ritual for Cloud: He would wake up, lazily watch Leon try to ignore him in favor of holding on to sleep, finally slip out of bed to find a fresh mug of coffee already waiting for him on the table while Sephiroth searched for something substantial to eat for breakfast.

Today though, he was greeted by something rather, by comparison, unusual.

"Good morning!" Cloud's groggy eyes opened widely, his sleepy state immediately leaving him as he watched Zack flip a pancake over the stove top.

"I'm making breakfast! Any requests?"

Cloud blinked, absorbing the situation, his eyes taking in Zack's lighthearted smile and the first time the other man had been happily up before noon in his life. Cloud's jaw dropped.

"You didn't…"

Zack turned to face him, his smile remaining though his eyes took on a look of mock-innocence.

"Didn't what?"



Cloud stared at him for a minute longer before he back tracked out of the kitchen, walking hastily to Zack's bedroom door. Finding it slightly ajar, he pushed it open, peeking in to see Sephiroth sprawled across the bed, his hair fanned out in ever which direction, only a sheet draped over his naked body.

When a powerful force suddenly latched on to his back, Zack nearly dropped his pancake.

"I'm so happy for you!"

Zack grinned, setting the pan on the stove and turning in Cloud's tight embrace, looking down into overjoyed blue eyes.

"Cloud, I am about to have a _very_ gay moment."

The blond stared up at Zack's expectant face, releasing the man from his joyful hug. He took a few steps back, seeming to be doing some sort of mental preparation. He lifted his hands palm down and lowered them in time with a breath he released.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Zack tried to fight the gigantic smile off of his face, flipping the stove off and turning to Cloud.

"So last night I thought I'd try a little kissy-kissy, see what I could get before I had to go beat off by my lonesome…" He smiled as Cloud nodded enthusiastically.

"Well…I noticed things were taking a change of pace and all, so I, you know, tested the waters, grabbed his ass." Cloud made a jokingly dramatic gasp and Zack raised a finger.

"And _totally_ didn't get punched. In fact: He moaned." He nodded sagely, and Cloud lifted his hands in the hair and bent over forward in a set of mocking bows.

"I figured I wouldn't even bother trying to go all the way, since that seemed like the fastest road to rejection. We made out for a little bit, and then he took off his clothes, Cloud. He took off his _own. Fucking. Clothes._ It was the hottest thing I've ever seen." Zack took a minute for himself, closing his eyes and rehashing the moment in his head before remembering himself and clearing his thoughts.

"Sorry-anyway." The blond nodded in understanding.

"So, uh…Did that, then I jacked him off. Afterwards, I figured he'd return the favor, ya know? Do what I did, since he seems kind of 'Hey, I don't do this kind of thing ever.'"

Zack froze, dropping his chin and staring at Cloud with huge, disbelieving eyes.

"Oh. My. God, Cloud. I have been on the receiving end of oral sex before, but…" Cloud actually looked shocked.

"You mean he…?" Zack nodded his head in a jerky, mechanical fashion.

"Yes, Cloud. Yes he did. And I'm not just saying this because I like him…I have _never_, and I mean _never_ gotten blown like that before. It was like a fucking angel flew down from heaven and taught Seph how to suck dick or something. That's the only explanation I can willingly come up with for how he could be that god damn good at it."

Cloud thought about suggesting that maybe over in Germany, Sephiroth had been a prostitute, but even he knew better than to say that right now. Zack was too happy to risk ruining his mood.

The raven haired man sighed.

"Then we laid down, I told him I liked him, and we went to sleep. That's about it."



Cloud quirked a brow.

"Most people say they like each other _before_ they engage in sexual acts. But that's cool, it's like eating your desert before dinner, or your salad last, taking a stand against the norm."

Zack grinned widely, raising his hand to bump his knuckles against Cloud's, delighted that the blond actually cooperated. Cloud cocked his head to the side, preparing his best stereotypical surfer voice.

"Like, non conformists for life."

Zack grinned, lifting his other hand in a fist, but with his thumb and pinky extended, shaking it loosely.

"Like totally."

Zack and Cloud laughed and shook their heads, the both of them taking a seat at the kitchen table. It had been a while since it had just been the two of them, and they had only just realized how much they'd missed each other. It would seem that catching up would have to wait, however, as Leon trudged into the room, staring blankly back at the confused looks he was receiving. Using the skill he had been building up over the holiday season, he fought past a yawn to explain himself.

"Lout."

Cloud snickered, realizing that Zack had gotten progressively louder in his excitement of retelling his experience. He just hoped that Sephiroth hadn't been woken, as any progress Zack had made would undoubtedly be forfeited should the other man hear him blabbing.

"Sorry, buddy."

Leon looked confused as Zack waved a carefree hand at him, wondering why the man who had been damn near demonic for three weeks now was waving, smiling, and apparently making some sort of breaded breakfast. Unless…Amazed grey eyes sought bright blue, instantly finding the answer with in them. His jaw dropped, and Cloud just nodded, his eyes closed and a tight smile on his lips. Zack watched the exchange with interest, finding it rather impressive the amount of things the two men could convey without saying a damned thing.

Zack choked on a sip of orange juice as Leon almost smacked into the kitchen door trying to escape the kitchen, presumably racing off to find his cousin. Verification was obviously necessary.

Sephiroth was startled out of slumber by a rather unmanly shriek, not sure if someone was just overly excited or if he was going to open his eyes to see the yeti looming over his bed. Taking his chances, Sephiroth let one eye open, the other following quickly upon seeing his cousin standing over him with a ridiculously large smile on his face.

"**I am so proud! My cousin is all grown up and fucking men!**"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, his head flopping back against the pillows.

"**Oh, shut up. We didn't have sex.**"

When he was met with silence, Sephiroth craned his head forward to stare at his cousin again.

Leon looked back at him with a disappointed face before taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"**What do you mean you didn't have sex?**"



Vaguely, Sephiroth wondered just how in the hell someone was successfully making him feel _guilty_ over not having random sex with someone he had only known for a few months.

"**I mean that we didn't, I don't know, have sex?"**

Leon looked like he was in pain, falling back to lie on top of Sephiroth's sheet covered legs while clutching his hair.

"**I can't believe you! What, do you just sleep naked for fun? To make him miserable? Here I was, getting all proud that you had not acted like a boring, fun-killing scrooge and no! You let me down!**"

At this point, Sephiroth was actually getting irritated. He didn't exactly enjoy being woken up and immediately told that he had completely failed his family. Sitting up and kicking Leon off of his legs, he glared and huffed.

"**All I said was we didn't have sex. I didn't say that we didn't do anything."**

By now, Cloud and Zack had gathered outside of the door, not comprehending, but enjoying overhearing the conversation none the less.

Leon perked up immediately.

"**What did you do?!"**

Sephiroth continued to glare, finally giving in when he realized that Leon was _not_ going to let this go.

"**..I don't know. Stuff, I guess…"**

"**Come on man, I need specifics! Hands? Mouths? Mutual masturbation?"**

Sephiroth made a face, disgusted by the way his cousin's mind worked.

"**You're sick, I don't even know why you need to know this….His hand, my mouth."**

Again Leon was silent before a wicked smile befell his features, making Sephiroth wonder what he had just done.

"**You sucked him off? Holy shit.** **I guess now we can't say that the lube was the strangest thing you've ever put in your mouth, huh?"** Leon smiled smugly as Sephiroth glared up at him.

"**Fuck you, **_**Squall**_**. Like I've never sucked a cock befo--"**

Leon's jaw dropped, completely willing for overlook that fact that he had just been thoroughly "Squalled" in favor of staring. Sephiroth had the unyielding urge to lock himself in a closet and just wait for starvation to slowly kill him. Honestly, everything he was saying was making things worse and worse. Like his younger cousin _really_ needed to know about his history of dealings in the oral sex department. Fortunately, he was saved from any further questions when Zack sauntered into the room, sliding into the bed to sit next to him, smiling.

"Hi, Leon." He waved. "Hi, Seph." He leaned over and gave Seph a lingering kiss on the cheek, making the man wonder if this was a rescue at all, or something that would further condemn him.

The raven haired man smiled and stood from the bed, giving Leon a pat on the shoulder before he did so.

"I made breakfast. I'm warning you, Seph. My specialty Morning After Pancakes are to die for."

From the hallway, Sephiroth could hear a muffle laugh. Miserably, he fell back against the bed, wondering what in the hell he had done to himself this time.

/

A/N:……43 pages. Holy crap. Well, I hope that this was worth the wait for you guys. Again, I am so sorry that it took this long. If it makes you feel any better, I was overwhelmed with guilty, like…the entire duration of the writing process. Hopefully the next one won't take quite so long, but….eh, we'll see. Hahahahaha…Seriously, though…Once this is over, I am never doing a multi-chapter fic EVER AGAIN. It sucks way too hard. It's one-shots from here on out, baby.

Oh, and- The Leon/Cloud lemon was totally written by Sleighbells, a true master of her craft. So credit where credit is due on that one :) She's far too talented for her own good. You'll have to let me know what you thought


	8. Malibu

GA CHAPTER 8

**Disclaimer**: I don't own FF of KH, nor any of the characters within. I'm not sure if Baby Today is a real magazine title, but if it is, it doesn't belong to me. Nor do I own Wal-Mart, McDonald's, Monopoly, NCIS/Gibbs, Impala, X-Men, Rand McNally, U-Haul, Prius, Suburban, Dora the Explorer, Holiday Inn, Texaco

**A/N:** Wow... I owe you guys an apology, huh? I haven't updated since July. I started this on May 8, so I know it probably isn't going to be DONE until, what…July?! My bad… hahaha.

^The above AN was started forever ago, and I guessed I would finish in July of '09........It's March 27... I am not even going to waste your time explaining. Just know that I am truly sorry that I am so lazy/slow/etc, and I hope that those of you who read this to begin with are still interested in it, though I would totally understand if you don't even remember what this story is about.

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Cloud and Sephiroth stood silently at the end of the long countertop, watching with some shame as Reno made a fool of himself in front of the receptionist. Cloud had asked Sephiroth if he would accompany him that morning to pick up as rental car, as someone would have to drive the other car back. They had passed Reno on the way out of the apartment, who had claimed that he "knew the car guys," and had brought it upon himself to tag along. They'd followed his directions to what seemed to be the farthest possible dealership in a shady part of town, only for the redhead to question out loud if this was even the right one. Fortunately for them, the redhead had recognized the busted cement parking block and the bullet proof windows, and proudly announced that they were, indeed, in the right place.

"Yea, I rent a lot of cars…a lot. All the time, really. I guess you could say that I'm a regular car rental connoisseur." Reno was oozing 'his charm' as he leaned on the counter while Sephiroth and Cloud tried to separate themselves further. The white haired man pondered picking up one of the offered magazines, but decided that "Baby Today" wouldn't help his image. Besides, infants made him nervous.

The woman behind the desk seemed to be doing her best not to press the silent alarm button beneath her desk, though her fingers were having a difficult time staying away from it. She really wished that people would stop showing up to rent vehicles while they were intoxicated.

"Let me just go get the boss, okay Sir?" The girl nervously rolled her chair away from the computer and stood, making her way to a door a little ways down. When she was out of sight, Reno turned to his reluctant companions, giving them a thumbs up.

"See guys? I told you, I am here for you. Me and this guy go way back. I'll be surprised if he even lets you pay a dime for one of these shit-fests."

"Shit-fests?" Cloud and Sephiroth looked up, finding not at all what they had expected from the manager of a rental vehicle shop. Surely four foot ponytails and eye patches were in violation of some form of dress code. The two fair-haired men shared a disbelieving and exasperated look before turning their judgmental gazes to Reno, who seemed to be trying to take back what he'd said.

"You know what I mean, man. I've never seen a nice rental car before."

"Probably because he only comes to this hellhole…" Cloud muttered the comment under his breath to Sephiroth, who gave a quiet huff of laughter.

The grey and black haired man spared his secretive critics a mild look, and found that he did not recognize the two men in the least, which was fortunate. This probably meant that they did not recognize him, either. He really had no idea why he had had to go around the town introducing himself to the community as a recently released felon. It made transition into society so much more difficult. He shrugged to himself, figuring that it would not do to dwell on such distant topics when prospective business was knocking at his door.

"Good morning, gentlemen, please forgive my vulgarity. I assume you are acquaintances of Mr. Sinclair? For which you also have my apologies, by the way. The name is Xigbar. What can I do for you boys?"

Cloud raised an eyebrow at the immediate shift in the man's attitude. He had gone from hang-loose, foulmouthed man who looked as though he were about to put the beat down on Reno to smooth-talking businessman. It was quite possible that they were dealing with a sociopath.

He shook it off, though, deciding that if they were dealing with some sort of weirdo he may as well be a paying customer. It seemed less likely to get him stabbed than walking out of here like without a word.

"Yes, sir. We're just looking for a car. Nothing fancy, just something to get about four of us from point A to point B for the next week or so."

Xigbar brought a hand to his chin, leaning his hip against the counter while he surveyed the group. His eye fell on Reno, mirth written clearly in them.

"Your friends don't give me a lot to work with."

Cloud looked mildly offended while Reno just gave a short laugh. Xigbar turned his attention back to the blond, intent on pulling information from the youth. He truly was a decent businessman who wanted to give his clients what they were seeking. Usually, anyway.

Raising his hands before him, Xigbar splayed them as he spoke, seeming to rely more on his motions that anything else to convey his thoughts. Cloud was instantly relieved that he hadn't brought Zack, as the dark haired man would have felt compelled to mimic the man, and probably gotten them murdered.

"When you say "A to B," do you mean, say…Home to Wal-Mart? Because I have plenty of those. Perhaps Florida to…the Mason Dixon? Got a few. Here to Alaska? It'd be a tight run, but we may manage it. If you mean here to Australia, I must admit, I haven't solved this problem yet. May I suggest air travel? I can get you tickets for cheap, if you don't mind dodging security checkpoints."

Sephiroth continued to stand in silence, watching the animated man ramble on about A's and B's, black-market airline passes and Australia-related issues, trying to sort out where he had seen the man before. He looked incredibly familiar, though he was unable to place him. He didn't worry about listening to the man any further, as he doubted staying "in the know" here mattered. As far as he was notified, he was just expected to drive one of the vehicles back home. With any luck, this place wouldn't require him to show a driver's license of any sort before leaving the lot. Only three people knew why his license was revoked, and he planned on keeping it that way. He was confident Leon wouldn't bring it up, and he doubted Judge Kühl or Officer Geiger would expose his secret to the American boys anytime soon.

Thinking about his revoked license and Officer Geiger brought back memories of his recent overnight stay in the Escambia County jail. What a shitty time that had been. There was something just on the edge of his brain, though, thinking about that place and looking at the man now asking Cloud a multitude of questions on "what do you desire from a vehicle?" It didn't seem to be coming to him, and so he filed that thought away for later deliberation, deciding now may be a decent time to start paying attention. Reno had finally stopped staring at the ceiling, so he imagined the transaction was nearly over.

"Well boys, I think I have the perfect for you. She's one of my favorites-I'd be lying if I said I never took her home once in a blue moon." The word 'autophile' passed through Sephiroth's mind, but he tried to let it go. Cloud was nodding along dumbly, clearly exhausted and confused by the alarmingly energetic salesman.

Reno gave a lazy smile, resting his arm on the counter and narrowly avoiding knocking the potted plant down with his elbow.

33.33.33

"See, I told you X-Man would take care of you."

Reno was making his way back to Cloud's car, though the blond did not share his ease at the moment. They had walked out of the establishment without signing a damned thing, flashing any form of ID, and the only money that had been slapped down was a $10 bill and a peel off game piece to a McDonald's Monopoly contest Cloud had found in the bottom of his wallet. Not only that, but Sephiroth had pointed out that the latest certificate for salesmanship hanging on the wall was dated '05. In short, there wasn't a single thing that seemed legal about the whole ordeal.

Cloud followed Reno back over to the car, raising a hand to block the bright sun from his sensitive eyes. He had a bad feeling that whatever Xigbar was about to "pull around front" wasn't going to be street legal. He cast a glance over to Sephiroth, who had remained by the shaded store front. The pale haired man appeared bored, though somewhat curious as to what they were about to see. The blond sighed and decided that he wouldn't make any hasty judgments. Though he did feel it was best not to have high expectations.

Cloud heard the faint sound of an engine being started from around the corner, and blew out a short huff of breath, faintly impressed that he didn't hear any form of mechanical protest- the car seemed to have had no issues starting. That was a good thing. He still wasn't certain that this was going to go over well, though. The blond was distracted from his thoughts of impending disappointment as he watched Reno knock on the thick glass of the store front. The redhead was trying his best to get the attention of the desk clerk, though the girl was doing an admirable job of pretending not to notice the obnoxious man. Reno had his hands cupped on the glass with his face pressed against it, trying to see through the strong reflection. Sephiroth sneered at the attention-starved man and evacuated the store front, seemingly intent on putting a good twenty feet between him and the other. The clouds blocking the sun had moved on, and the brightness of the area had increased drastically, giving the men outside no visibility of the inside any longer. Cloud watched Reno hiss in disappointment, and he was considering offering words of sympathy when he felt a presence at his right.

"You zon't really vant me to ride in zat?" Cloud quirked an eyebrow at Sephiroth inquiry, following the man's gaze to the silver Impala that was rolling towards them. The blond made an impressed face to himself, having expected far worse than this.

"What's wrong with an Impala? It's better than that, right?" Cloud gestured briefly to one of the police cars parked in the shopping center parking lot across the street. Green eyes rolled, clearly not amused.

"Quite. I think I am done vith ze back seats of zose." Sephiroth regarded the squad car with malice for a moment longer before returning his attention to the vehicle that had just parked next to their car.

"Zat car only hass three doors…"

That got Cloud's interest, and the blond discreetly craned to view the other side of the Impala without Xigbar noticing. Unfortunately, discretion had never been one of Cloud's stronger qualities.

"I see you are admiring my handiwork, boy!" The approaching rental salesman grinned widely, brandishing the keys in his right hand, swinging them around one skilled finger.

"When I got a hold of her, she'd seen better days. The whole right rear had been in one hell of a doozy. Couldn't even open the damn door. So I ripped 'er off, and I welded a piece of sheet metal on 'er, repainted her and kaboom! She looks like new! Runs great, too."

Sephiroth made what may have been a humored noise, and Cloud did his best to retain his calm composure at the story, wondering how safe a welded sheet of metal could be. That had to zero out the crash-rating warranty. He watched Sephiroth circle the vehicle, jade eyes eyeing it in cynicism. Cloud and Xigbar observed as the silver haired man came to the right side of the car, inspecting where the back door should have been.

Sephiroth traced a finger along the barely noticeable raised line of the metal. He would have been impressed with the work, had he not realized that this car was probably a total death-trap.

"Whatya think?"

Sephiroth's eyes went to Xigbar at the question, and then to Cloud, who gave him a look plainly reading 'Please don't be rude. This man might murder us.'

Thin lips pulled back in an unsure smile and Sephiroth looked back at the dread-locked man, raising his fingers to knock against the welding work.

"Ka-boom."

Cloud nearly seized when Xigbar's heavy hand slapped him on the back before locking around his right arm and pulling him tightly against the taller man.

"Hear that? Your friend there says 'Kaboom.' I think we've found the car for you. I knew you'd like it!"

The blond smiled nervously and gently released himself from the bizarre man's hold, looking around for Reno, seeing him leaned against the far side of the building enjoying a smoke break. He really wanted to get the hell out of this place as soon as possible.

"Well, we thank you very much, sir. We'll take great care of the Impala. We will have it back to you in a week, if you're sure that's okay."

The grey and black haired man raised a dismissive hand.

"Fine, fine. I trust you boys. Besides. If you don't bring her back at some point, I'll know where to find you."

Blue eyes grew in paranoia, not quite sure how to respond do that. Part of him wanted to know how the man would find them. The other half just wanted to assume the man meant Reno and go about his life happily. Sephiroth seemed to be regarding the man in suspicion as well- he swore that he'd seen this man before, if only he could remember where…

"Reno! Come on! We're leaving now!" Cloud turned to Xigbar after successfully hailing the redhead.

"Again, sir. Thank you very much."

The man gave a wide smile and handed the keys to Cloud, though the blond quickly tossed them to Sephiroth.

"All right, Seph. Just follow me home. Reno can ride with you if you want, in case we get separated."

Sephiroth watched as the redhead balanced on the parking block, waving goodbye to the receptionist inside the building.

"I think I vill take my chances alone."

Cloud smiled, wondering if it was for the best that Reno rode with him. Sephiroth didn't need any added distractions if he was already driving what was quite possibly an instrument of death. Plus, should the vehicle combust, they should probably endanger as few people as possible. Cloud would have volunteered to drive the new car himself, were he and Zack not the only people capable of driving their own car. The little Ford was one gear off, so if you wanted to drive, you needed to be in "first," and if you wanted to park you had to be in reverse. He figured it was safer to just let Sephiroth take his chances in the Impala. At least that probably had insurance.

--

Sephiroth was quite relieved when he pulled into the apartment complex parking lot. He had never been so nervous in his life as he was during the last twenty minutes. In order to keep from losing Cloud and getting lost forever in Nowhere-Florida, he had run about three red lights, one of which he was almost certain the cop had watched happen. He didn't know just by what grace of God had kept him from being pulled over and immediately arrested and/or deported, but he was grateful. He wished that the blond would have been a bit more considerate. It really wasn't hard to stop a little early when you saw the yellow light.

Climbing out of the car, Sephiroth glared at the shorter blond, who gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. The yellow lights are lucky."

A silver brow arched in question, not at all impressed with the excuse.

"So how did it run?"

Sephiroth eyed the hunk of steel beside him, surprised that it wasn't billowing smoke or leaking vast amounts of oil after running for so long. Actually, the vehicle hadn't given him a single issue, if you ignored that the radio didn't turn off. He shrugged as he brushed past Cloud, walking towards the entrance of the stairwell.

"It vas fine. I learned a lot from Mister Foxvorthy. I think zat Zock might be a…redneck? Ja. I think zat Zack might be a redneck."

Reno gave a loud laugh and caught up with Sephiroth easily, joining him on the stairs.

"Git-R-Done!"

Cloud stood frozen in shock and disgust, watching from the lot as the two men disappeared around the corner. He knew that they were supposed to teach the boys American culture, but he was fairly certain that this wasn't what the school had meant by that. The blond gave a heavy sigh, trying to ignore the fact that what had just occurred was awfully funny when you thought about it. He wondered if Sephiroth would bring up his discovery with Zack. He was sure that the dark haired boy would find some amusement in it. He shook his head before beginning to climb the stairs. He would have to smack Reno for saying 'Git-R-Done' when he got a hold of him. And he was going to smack him hard.

33.33.33

The living room had become a battlefield. The mood was tense and heavy as Zack and Leon squared off against their most worthy opponent to date. Together, they circled their adversary, keeping it under their intense scrutiny, making sure it knew they were watching it, that it knew that they hated it, and that it knew that they would know if it tried anything funny. The fucker was going to get it, that was for sure- after all, it had drawn first blood.

"Okay, Leonhart. I know you're wounded and weary…" Zack spoke to Leon in a somber, authoritative voice, though not in such a way that he was speaking down to his comrade.

At the mention of his wound, Leon eyed his swollen finger angrily, allowing it to feed his rage and increase his determination.

"Cloud will totally be hot over that battle scar anyway. But if we ever want to see our fair maidens again, we have to take care of this bastard. I know my last couple of plans didn't work, but…I think I've solved the problem. We are going to close that goddamn suitcase, or I swear to God, I will give up my quest to bed your cousin."

"Zen by all means, I vish you only ze most humiliating of failures."

Shocked out of his "Army Man" persona, Zack spun around to see Sephiroth and Reno standing in the doorway, clearly confused why the other two men were having so much trouble with something so simple. Cloud wasn't far behind them, pushing his way through the pair to take in the scene.

"You almost done?" The blond seemed content to ignore what Zack and Leon were doing as he made his way into the bedrooms, giving each one a hum of approval.

"Yea!" Zack yelled to his friend while making his way to the junk drawer in the kitchen, rummaging though it and retrieving a gnarly looking pair of pliers.

"All we've got left is this last suitcase. Then we're all good."

Zack approached his brother in arms, coming to stand side to side with the chocolate haired man.

"All right, buddy. Since you're already injured, we'll switch jobs. You use these on the zipper, and I'll try and keep the seam clear."

Leon took the pliers and worked his way through what he believed the plan to be. He and Zack were usually on a similar wave length, fortunately for them, so he was moderately confident in what he was to do.

Sephiroth and Reno watched the pair work together, Zack shoving his hand into the baggage and keeping clothing from snagging while Leon latched onto the zipper and dragged it roughly around until it was fully sealed. Somehow, the two men observing had been expecting something far more epic. Green eyes regarded each other in mild disappointment before Reno shrugged and Sephiroth shook his head, turning his attention to his cousin.

"**I hurt my finger." **Leon spoke first, offering out his irritated and swollen index finger.

"**I got it stuck in the zipper. It only bled for ten minutes. Luckily one of your silk shirts was there to catch the blood. I would have hated to ruin the carpet."**

Sephiroth glared at the finger, smacking it away and ignoring the hurt and hateful look it earned him. Reno gave an obnoxious laugh. The redhead didn't understand, but he enjoyed seeing a good slap once in a while.

"**Why are you packing?"**

Leon looked at the suitcase, his expression one of distrust and confusion.

"**I don' t know. Zack said we were going to the beach, but…last time we went, we didn't pack shit."**

Sephiroth eyed his cousin, perplexed, before looking to Cloud, who had just come out of the bathroom with Zack, the both of them shoving various personal hygiene products into a bag. Sephiroth really did not know why the beach would require their toothbrushes, two sets of shampoo, and quite so many sticks of deodorant. Perhaps the last item was water resistant?

"So ve are going back to ze beach?"

Cloud and Zack looked up like a pair of deer in the head lights, frozen for a moment before sharing a glance between one another. Sephiroth didn't like this.

"Yea! Figured we would take you guys out to the beach for the week, that's why we're bringing all of this stuff." Zack gave his quick and dismissive answer, dropping the bag he'd been toting by the door.

"We're heading out in about twenty minutes, so if there's anything you can think of that Leon didn't grab for you, I suggest getting it now."

Sephiroth looked at Leon, unsure how he felt about the brunet handling his personal possessions, and less confident in the man's ability to pack on his behalf for a week-long endeavor.

"**Did you get my brush?"**

"**Yes. And the rest of your hair shit."**

"**Did you get the pair of pants that I like?"**

"**Yes. And the pair that you like just a bit less but will wear them 'every now and then to break up the monotony.' Trust me. I know you, and I know all of the weird things you have to surround yourself with to be comfortable. I got everything."**

The silver haired man was still far from convinced. While Leon was accurate in his claim of knowing him, Sephiroth also knew Leon.

"**Are you positive?"**

Grey eyes rolled in irritation. Leon wasn't sure how many ways he could tell his idiot cousin the same thing before the other man understood. For someone who claimed to be as smart as Sephiroth did, you would imagine he would have better comprehension skills.

"**I got the things you would have forgotten."**

It was Sephiroth's time to roll his eyes. Reno, Zack, and Cloud, meanwhile, and gathered themselves on the couch to watch the two men have their little discussion.

"**I don't forget things."**

The brunet gave a wide smile, shaking his head at this cousin's denial.

"**Oh yea? Where's your cell phone?"**

Sephiroth crossed his long arms across his chest, his narrowed eyes falling to the floor. He had no idea where his cell phone was. Somewhere at home in Germany. On his night stand? In the living room? He had certainly forgotten to pack it before making the long flight here, that was for sure.

"…**Mother requested that I leave it at home. She knows how you like to steal it to make expensive calls. And where is yours?"**

Leon stared smugly back at this dishonest cousin, knowing good and well that Sephiroth had no idea where he left his phone. Leon was much different from his forgetful cousin. He knew exactly where his phone was.

"**On Delta flight 838, window seat 2G."**

The two regarded each other, Sephiroth in deep consideration of abandoning his cousin forever, and Leon in the 'victory' of their latest face-off.

Cloud checked his watch, pleased that they were actually running a bit ahead of schedule. It would be nice if it could stay that way.

"If you guys have everything…it wouldn't hurt if we left a little early?"

All men present, excluding Reno, nodded in agreement, though Leon and Sephiroth were suspicious. It was nine in the morning. The beach was, going on memory, about twenty minutes away. Where they in danger of missing the water?

Gathering all of their bags, Sephiroth paused in the threshold, casting a look to Leon over his shoulder.

"**You packed underwear, right?"**

"…**Oh…"**

33.33.33.

Things were definitely not adding up. Leon and Sephiroth were seated in the back of the Impala-On-Loan, muttering to each other in secrecy as Cloud and Zack did the same up front. The blond had volunteered that he would drive first, and had offered the passenger seat to Leon. The brunet had respectfully declined, deciding that, given the fishy situation, he would feel much safer in the back with his cousin. He was pleased with his decision, despite having to sit on the side of the car that didn't have a door. Every once in a while he would eye the welded plate of metal, not liking the hollow noise it made when the group hit a pothole.

"**We have been in the car for an hour and a half."**

"**I know. I don't like this."**

Leon squirmed in his seat, reaching behind himself to lower the headrest, displeased when the entire thing popped of in his hands.

"**Why did we have to rent a car to go to the beach?"**

"**I don't know…"** Sephiroth reached to take the headrest from Leon, leaning over to slide it back into place, moving over in his seat to be closer to his brunet cousin.

From the front seat, Zack and Cloud pretended not to watch the exchange, knowing very well that the pair in the back were suspicious of them, but unwilling to admit anything.

"Excuse me, but vat beach is it dat ve vill be visiting today?"

Violent and blue eyes snapped to the rearview mirror, both saying the first beach to come to mind.

"Orange Beach!"

"Malibu!"

Cloud regarded Zack in horror, his eyes widening at Zack's ridiculous answer.

"Malibu!?" the blond hissed, eyeing Zack with a poisonous look.

"What?! They don't know where it is!"

"Eh?" Both men fell silent from their argument, and Zack turned in his seat to eye a waiting Sephiroth, finding the site that met him adorable. Sephiroth and Leon were seated side by side, so close to each other that it couldn't possibly be comfortable.

From the driver's seat, a very nervous Cloud watched Zack smack his own forehead in an over-played show of self-depreciation.

"Bah! Silly me, Malibu?" He gave a loud and false laugh. "I meant Orange Beach, like Cloud says. Don't listen to me." Zack gave them a winning smile, and when the men in the back made no protest, he turned back in his seat, facing the front.

As Zack and Cloud hastily found renewed interest in the road ahead of them, bright green met stormy grey, conspiracy resonating from both sets of eyes. Sephiroth made a subtle glance into the storage pocket on the pack of Cloud's seat and found it to be empty, much to his disappointment. He felt a quick knock on the side of his leg, and looked to Leon, who raised his chin, motioning to the front of the vehicle. There, on the dash of the car, rested what Sephiroth had been after.

"**Good work. But how?"** Sephiroth eyed his cousin and the map, hoping that the younger man had an answer to his question. He could think of no possible way to acquire the map without the men up front noticing.

"**I could fake a heart attack. I'm sure they wouldn't notice you grabbing the map while we swerve off of a cliff, and fall to our fiery deaths."**

Sephiroth glared at Leon, though his younger cousin appeared quite amused by the scenario in his head. The brunet had never been the greatest road trip companion in Sephiroth's opinion. The paler man shook his head, looking away from Leon, who was now eyeing him apologetically, clearly unsure of how to get the map into their possession.

"**Just ask for it. It's not like he'd tell you 'no.' I know! Blow him for it!"**

Resisting the urge to throttle the man, Sephiroth did find some value in Leon's suggestion. He supposed he could just ask for it.

"May I see za map, please? Squall doss not belief zat Florida is next to…eh..Abutoda? Aku-…roku-llama?"

Zack leaned forward, nearly biting his tongue clean off as he tried not to laugh too hysterically. It would not do to utterly insult the man who so generously sucked him off on a regular basis. Cloud eyed the snorting, quivering mess next to him while simultaneously trying to keep the car in the correct lane, attempting to understand what in the hell Sephiroth was saying.

"I'm sorry…What?"

"**Did you just speak Farsi? Or was that Arabic? I could never tell them apart."**

"**I have to fucking idea what I just tried to say." **Sephiroth looked a little disturbed at himself, not sure what had just passed through his lips.

"**What state is next to Florida?"**

Leon shrugged, and looked to Cloud. The blond was still looking at Sephiroth through the rearview in extreme concentration, clearly trying to work his way through whatever his cousin had just said.

"ALABAMA! YOU MEANT 'ALABAMA!'" Zack had righted himself in his seat and was now wide eyed and turned around, looking at Sephiroth, though his eyes were still bleary from his fit of laughter. He took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself enough to speak at a normal volume.

"Alabama is next to Florida. On top of it, actually. Sort of. So is Georgia, but I think you meant Alabama. Don't worry, I got your back, babe."

Sephiroth was less than pleased at the reaction, though he was grateful that someone had understood what he was trying to orally convey.

"Ja. Alabama. Map."

Cloud was still staring numbly at Sephiroth, though his lips were pulled back in dismay. He didn't seem willing to believe that that was what the man had actually said. It was too far off. He nodded dully, not breaking his confused gaze as he reaching to the dashboard, his hand blindly bumping around until he found the Rand McNally.

Sephiroth continued his staring contest, waiting for Cloud to say something about this deformed English, only looking away when the blond mindlessly offered him the map. Sephiroth considered suggesting that the blond take a peek at the road, though when the car half merged onto the shoulder, Cloud took the message and resumed his responsibilities.

"…Akurokulamma…" Cloud shook his head, avoiding Sephiroth's sharp, angry glare to contemplate just how cut out he was for hosting foreign students. He had to hand it to Zack- he would have never, in a million years, guessed "Alabama." The raven haired man was still giggling in the seat next to him. Cloud doubted the man even noticed how close they were to scraping the car on the large cement blocks lining the construction-burdened highway.

In the back seat, things were much more mentally involved. The cousins were jammed into the corner of the car, as far out of sight as they could manage, seated tightly together with the map spread out on their knees. Nimble fingers worked their way from the words "Orange Beach" to "Pensacola." Leon eyed Sephiroth in confusion, pointing again to Orange Beach. Sephiroth eyed it darkly, looking past Leon to the window, only for his eyes to meet the welded-steel plate. They should have picked his side of the car for this project, though that would have put them in Zack's sights. He huffed, craning to see through the windshield, finding a sign. The sign quickly proved his suspicions correct; they were not heading west. Orange Beach was in Alabama, to the west.

"**We're going east."**

Leon looked around the car, suddenly much more alert. Sephiroth seemed on-edge now, as well.

"**Are they going to murder us, and leave our bodies somewhere far from your Middle Eastern city? Is that why they rented the car? So that our blood wouldn't be found in their trunk? Is that why Reno smiled at us when we left? Because he knew? Is he formulating an alibi for them now?"**

Sephiroth ignored the jab at his butchered pronunciation of the neighboring state, and gave his cousin a serious look. That's when it hit him. He knew why he had recognized the man who'd loaned them the Impala. He had seen him the night he'd been in jail- the Cyclopes had been filling out paperwork for his release before the policemen had removed his handcuffs and allowed him to leave. Was it truly a coincidence that they would receive a $10 vehicle from a criminal?

He and Leon had been watching far too many episodes of NCIS lately, and Leon's scenario had just become very, very plausible.

"**I don't know."**

Where the hell was Special Agent Gibbs when you needed him?

33.33.33.

They had been in the car for a little over three hours, and Cloud wasn't sure if he could will himself to drive for much longer. Not only was he getting sleepy, he was also beginning to feel guilty and nervous about the constant mistrustful glares he was receiving from the duo in the back. Sephiroth and Leon had been particularly antsy in the last hour, and Cloud wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to keep the charade running. They were supposed to be going to the beach, but as Sephiroth had pointed out, they hadn't seen a single body of salt water since the bridge 200 miles ago. He could understand why the Germans would be wary of the situation. If nothing else, he could expect them to be a little pissed off about it.

The blond sighed, casting a look to this right, finding Zack to be in a very uncomfortable state. The raven haired man had his chin pointed to the sky, his head tilted back in a stiff slumber, his jaw unhinged in an unattractive fashion. Cloud resisted the sudden urge to wet-willy the hell out of the sleeping man, deciding that the end result would probably be a dangerous fit of flailing limbs, a deafening yelp, and the terror of the man taking his revenge while he took a nap of his own.

Heavy blue eyes left his friend and gave the road a quick once over before darting down to the gauges. He was mildly surprised to find that the custom-alteration Impala wasn't overheating into levels of treacherous consequence yet, as he'd been half expecting, though they would need to stop for gas very soon. He sighed and let his gaze return to the road, where it probably should have been in the first place. Smiling to himself, Cloud reached over to nudge his sleeping friend. He had never found himself to be cut out for long distance driving.

Zack's face contorted in the way that only the newly-awakened could manage, and violet eyes cracked open in somewhat of a state of shock.

"I fell asleep?"

Cloud just smiled at Zack's curious expression and shook his head. Sephiroth made a noise of disapproval from the back seat.

"Ja. About un hour ago. I'm just glad zat you zon't snore zat vay in bett."

Zack gave a loud yawn and stretched his arms as high as the confining car would allow and spun in his seat to gaze at Sephiroth affectionately.

"I love it when you acknowledge that we're sleeping together."

Sephiroth opened his mouth to reply, though stopped when he felt Leon's hand on his leg. He looked to the side to his cousin, who was looking at him in annoyance.

"**Did they say where we were going?"**

Sephiroth shook his head and made a face when Leon scowled.

"**Do you think that they could at least let us take a break from the car before they rape and murder us?"**

Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

"**I don't think they are going to rape us."**

Leon considered this before shrugging.

"**You're right. I'm already willingly fucking him, and your subconscious is probably so starved for Zack's cock by now that you'd go with anything. It's the murder part that is still bumming me out."**

Sephiroth's face pulled back in a look of horrified shock, unprepared for the lewd comment from the man he'd been allies with for the last three hours. They had been getting along so well in their shared state of paranoia that he'd forgotten what a crude dick his cousin could be.

Cloud watched the look cross Sephiroth's face after Leon's noticeable mouthy comment, and realized that there hadn't been a single fight between the pair since they'd left the house. The peace was not going to last much longer if they didn't get a little time apart, and soon. He watched the road, a small smile of gratitude forming on his lips as they neared an exit.

"We're going to stop and get gas, so if you guys need to use the bathroom or get some food, we can do that now, too. Or if you just want to stretch your legs."

Zack rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Dad."

Cloud grimaced, disliking it when Zack made a parental reference over his actions. He flipped on the right turn signal, though he had his serious doubts that the light actually functioned.

"Whatever. And I'm going to take a break from driving."

Zack smirked as the vehicle rolled down the off-ramp, eyeing the sign for the nearest gas station.

"What's wrong, are you tired after an endless three hour drive?"

Cloud glared, breaking a little harder than necessary at the red-light.

"Fuck you, Zack. Three hours in the driver's seat is like…two people years."

Zack only laughed and rolled his eyes. Cloud huffed at his friend's lack of sympathy, setting his sights on the Texaco on the right side of the road. Not only did it give him a convenient, effortless entry, but Zack would have a very difficult time getting back across the busy road without a stop light. Cloud eyed the clock on the dash and smiled. It read 4pm, but they weren't in Central Time any longer.

There was nothing wrong with being passive aggressive, watching Zack in rush-hour traffic was always fun.

When the mysterious Impala pulled up to pump seven, Cloud noticed a distinct lack of activity from the backseat. Thinking back, he hadn't heard a single word from the other two in the last ten minutes. He cast a glance back to ensure that the Germans hadn't bailed ship somewhere on I-10 without him noticing, and was relieved to find both Sephiroth and Leon hunched over together. He watched the pair for a moment, though jumped to alertness when two blank sets of eyes met his own, and he busied himself with finding his wallet.

"Here, Zack. You pump the gas. I'm going to go grab us something to eat. You guys like Wendy's, right?"

Cloud turned around, giving the two an innocent look. Sephiroth had discovered Wendy's two months ago, and since then, had been nearly impossible to take within 600 yards of the establishment. If that man saw a Wendy's, we was getting Wendy's. That's what threw Cloud so off guard, however, when all he met was cold green. There was no flash of hunger or joy in those eyes, just that blank expression.

"You guys okay?"

Sephiroth looked to Leon, who nodded, before turning once more to Cloud.

"Vee vant to drive."

Leon smiled, despite the cold expressions they were supposed to be displaying, when Cloud's blond head cocked to the side.

"Drive?"

Think pink lips seem to sound out the word over a few times, not quite grasping it, though there was a look of panic in those blue eyes.

"Uh….Zack?!" Cloud raised his index finger to the men in the back, signaling that they should wait while he jumped out of the car to meet Zack by the gas tank.

"They want to drive."

Violet eyes looked instantly amused, and Cloud was met with a wide smile.

"They want to drive?"

Cloud nodded, signed and crossing his arms before letting his back fall against the side of the car.

He let his fingers comb though his hair, trying to calm himself down. Zack continued to smile at his stressing friend, squeezing the gas pump a few times, milking through as many handle-clicks as he could before screwing the gas tank cover back in place. He pressed hip to the car, lifting his arm to rest it on the roof of the car.

"Then let's let them drive."

Cloud looked skeptical.

"They don't know where we're going. We can't tell them where we're going."

Zack shrugged and handed Cloud back his wallet.

"Hour more on this road, take 75, and let them drive straight for a few hours. It's not big deal."

Blue and violet held each other in a locked gaze for a little before Cloud relented, looking to the ground and pushing himself away from the car.

"All right. They can drive."

Cloud cast a look out at the busy road beyond the parking lot, feeling guilty about purposely setting someone up to cross it. But it wouldn't be a big deal; they had traffic in Germany, right?

33.33.33.

Cloud wasn't sure if it was fear for his safety, embarrassment, or the sheer force at which he was being tossed around in the back seat that had him doubled down and clinging to Zack as though his life depended on it. In the front passenger seat, he heard Sephiroth laugh. They were all going to die, and that bastard was laughing.

Zack's hand locked around Cloud's forearm about half a second before the loud sound of a car horn went screaming by, just out of sight behind the welded sheet, and the pair wondered how close they had just come to dying. There was a low string of mumbled words from the driver's seat, and Cloud tried not to slide back across the seat when the vehicle took a dangerously sharp turn. He felt Zack's chest heaving against his cheek, and he wondered if, other than the lack of penetration, if he and Zack had just gone through the motions of sex. It would seem that they were in the afterglow, however, as Cloud noticed a distinct lack of chaos around him, and didn't feel any form of extra gravity trying to beat the shit out of him. Gathering his strength and preparing to find an array of corpses and steaming cars littered across the roadway, Cloud detached himself from Zack and sat up, almost disappointed to find the world unscathed as Leon pulled the car onto the on-ramp.

"You had to pick a gas station on that side of the road, didn't you?"

Cloud looked over to Zack, who was just beginning to regain his natural skin color and the blood in his face. The two shared a look between each other before they were distracted by the foreign conversation in the front. The conversation wasn't what worried them, but rather, the worrying rate of speed at which the words went from neutral to irate.

"**Why are these people stopping. This is a goddamn yield."**

Sephiroth glared at the people in front of the, as well, joining Leon in his anger.

"**I don't know. And why in the hell are there only two lanes on this road, anyway?"**

Leon actually let go to the wheel, and turned to Sephiroth with wide eyes.

"**I know, right?! Thank you! I have no fucking idea, but I've been wondering about that for a while now. Is this the fucking 1960's?"**

Sephiroth shook his head, though he had to smile. He always loved it when Leon drove. Something about driving a car went straight to his cousin's head. Sometimes he felt endangered, but those were very rare times that usually involved a heavy rainstorm and German police. In general, though, Sephiroth enjoyed the way Leon went a little out of his mind, and he couldn't deny his own adrenaline rush that he usually picked up around 180kmh.

"**What the hell is that?"**

Sephiroth looked away from the minivan they had just sped past to where Leon was pointing.

It was a square, white sign that simply read "Speed Limit 70."

Sephiroth stared at the sign in intense scrutiny.

"**I believe that may be the speed limit."**

Leon cut his eyes to the side as the needle on his speedometer reached ninety.

"**Recommended, right?"**

Sephiroth shook his head.

"**No, I don't think so. I think it's a general limit."**

Leon turned to his cousin with wide eyes for the second time in two minutes. He then turned back to Cloud and Zack, who looked somewhat concerned for their lives when he passed a semi-truck much to fast and far too last minute to be safe.

"**Speed limit…"** Leon scoffed, turning back to the road and bringing the car to a 'crawling' pace of ninety five. **"I've heard of those. I'm really not interested, though."**

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and reclined in his seat.

"**Just make sure you don't get pulled over. I don't think the officer would appreciate your lack of interest in his road signs."**

Cloud was actually relatively surprised that, not only had they not been pulled over already, but also that Zack had refrained from comment.

"I do eighty and you give me shit, but he can do ninety-something and you just sit there?"

Zack turned to regard him in something that Cloud couldn't read. The raven haired man lifted a hand, pointing to Leon.

"You want me to play back-seat driver to that?"

Leon made a last minute pass around a white suburban, only catching sight of the middle finger for a fraction of a second.

"**I couldn't see. Was that a "hell yeah" or a "fuck you?""**

Sephiroth frowned, already beginning the process of rolling down his window.

"**That was**** a definite "fuck you." Excuse us for not doing forty, you bitch."**

Unable to respond to the slight with all of the slow moving vehicles to dodge, Leon left revenge to Sephiroth, who unbuckled his seat belt and leaned much farther out of the window than would be considered safe, giving the middle finger to the woman driving the offending SUV.

Zack had never been more hateful of the sheet of welded steel that replaced the window, as he was willing to bet everything he owned that Sephiroth's body probably looked amazing leaned over that window, with the speed and wind plastering his shirt to him.

Sephiroth pulled himself back into the car a moment later, fastening his seatbelt and regaining his peaceful composure.

"**Thanks, I wouldn't have been able to put in the effort necessary for that. Nice hair, by the way."**

Sephiroth looked to Leon, who was giving his wind-blown hair a humor smile. He raised a graceful hand, and extended a single, practiced finger to his grinning cousin.

Cloud was just beginning to remember how to breathe as he turned to Zack with alarm written deeply into his features. The raven haired man shrugged and leaned back in his seat. He was going to need to grab another nap, as assuming that they survived the next three hours, he was going to make sure that he drove next. There was no way he was letting Sephiroth get behind the wheel if he was going to jump of out the car at the first sign of protest from another driver.

Cloud sat back in his seat, deciding that, if he was going to die in a car accident, at least he was surrounded by damn good looking men. A thought struck him, though, one that had him curious. He leaned forward easily, almost pleased with how the seatbeltless backseat allowed him unrestricted movement.

"Sephiroth?"

The white hared man turned his head, regarding the blond calmly.

"What are the rules for international driving? Does your license let you guys drive anywhere, since you guys are all neighbors in Europe, or did you have to pass a test?

Sephiroth looked thoughtful, and Cloud watched with interest as Sephiroth said something to Leon, and the brunet passed over his wallet. Sephiroth flipped it open and searched for his license while Cloud and Leon shared a smile.

While the two lovers made eyes at each other, Sephiroth debated which group of words he was going to pretend meant "can operate a vehicle in North America." He had them feeling that if the two knew that Leon was not yet legally permitted to be driving, that they'd make him pull over. And he liked the way his cousin drove.

"**Why do you need that?"** Leon looked away from the road for a moment, not necessarily suspicious of Sephiroth, just unsure.

"**Wants to know the rules about driving here. Don't worry, I'm lying."**

He turned back to Cloud, holding up the plastic card to get the blond's attention away from the driver's seat. Zack leaned forward as well, abandoning his nap in favor of seeing the foreign license. The most exotic one he'd ever seen was from Québec, and that was only so exciting.

"Damn!" Zack took the license from Sephiroth at the first glimpse, though Cloud quickly snatched it away from him. After a moment of squabbling, the pair settled on holding it between them. Zack gave a loud whistle as their eyes roamed over the card, taking in the small, glossy photograph. To say that Leon looked anything less than breathtakingly arousing would have been an utter outrage. His chin was raised high and he was giving the camera a cocky, superior stare, his expression entirely smug, cunning, and oozing sexuality.

Leon watched from the rearview mirror, rather flattered at the reaction. He'd been quite pleased with that photo, himself. That was the ID that he preferred to show- it was must better than his passport photograph, that was for sure. He withheld a cringe at the thought of it. During the time of the picture, Sephiroth, at the last minute, said something rather rude about the woman operating the camera. Leon had moved to laugh, and the camera snapped just as his face had begun to contort, leaving one of his eyes dropping, his lips misaligned, and numerous other unattractive things. He looked retarded. And he did not mean the word 'retarded' as most people would use it in this case. No, he didn't mean stupid. He honestly felt he looked mentally handicapped. The real bitch of the situation was that the woman wouldn't even let him take the photo over again, because Sephiroth had pissed her off so badly. Sephiroth had taken his picture before Leon had, so he hadn't had anything to lose with his commentary.

He would have been worried that Sephiroth would show it to Cloud, but the two had a very strong agreement on that matter- Sephiroth could laugh all he wanted about it in private, but he was not to show the picture to anyone, or bring up the subject to anyone who didn't already know. Just to stay on the safe side, Leon kept it hidden, trapped in a small stack of worn out business cards he had collected for that very purpose.

Though he was still a little sore over the whole ordeal, it made him feel worlds better when he noticed the displeasure written on Sephiroth's face. Grey eyes flicked to Zack, who was still blatantly ogling with Cloud over the picture. He allowed himself to smile wider.

"**Don't worry, cousin. The world was bound to realize that I ****was the better looking one eventually."**

Sephiroth glared at Leon, though he was snapped out of his slight jealous rage by a question from the back.

"Can we see yours?"

While it was some what comforting to him that Zack was interested in seeing his license picture, he really wished that he wouldn't have asked.

"**What, does he want to see yours?"**

Sephiroth cut his eyes to glare at Leon's mirthful expression, though the brunet continued to watch the road ahead of them.

"**You didn't tell them that you lost your license because you hit someone? Doing 80 kilometers an hour? I'm sure they'd love to hear that story. Make sure you include your blood-alcohol level. That makes the whole thing."**

Sephiroth's glare hit a new level of animosity at his cousin's words. That was not one of the finer memories that he liked to recall. It really was a miracle that the man hadn't been killed. He still wasn't sure why the man was riding a bicycle at two in the morning, even if was on a back road. In his opinion, that made it all the more dangerous. He still remembered the way the man had smiled at him, even through his buzzed haze, and waved goodbye before the ambulance took him away. He'd told him not to worry, and that he wouldn't press charges. That hadn't kept him from losing his license, however, and the two officers who came to the scene had been far less forgiving. He felt terrible about it, and made sure to visit the man later in the week. The man had suggested that Sephiroth should probably mow the lawn for him, which he gladly did. It could have been worse—much worse.

Leon laughed at the way Sephiroth was glowering to himself, pulling his cousin out of his thoughts, and reminding him that he needed to produce his 'license.' He considered just showing them his passport, but decided against it. Not only was it clearly not a license, as it said "Passport," but it would also spark the other two to want to see Leon's. As much as he would love to flaunt that after what he cousin had just brought up, it was forbidden territory, and he would honor that. He did take a moment to laugh, though, thinking about the awful photo. He ignored the brunet's questioning look as he withdrew his own wallet, finding a laminated card within. Beside him, Leon snorted.

"**Is that your library card?"**

The pale man gave an indignant noise, passing the card to the eager men in the backseat. He felt like he was entertaining anxious children.

"**No. Library cards don't have pictures on them."**

Leon rolled his eyes.

"**So it's your school ID then?"**

"**They don't know that."**

33.33.33

"**I don't understand why I can't drive."**

"**Why they won't let you, or why you are mentally unfit for the task?"**

Leon glared at his cousin, though Sephiroth only cast him a ridiculous look from where he sat on the curb at Leon's feet. Cloud was seated next to Sephiroth, the pair watching as Zack worked to change the tire. The silver headed man tilted his head upwards, looking to Leon when Zack dropped another lug nut.

"**You blew a tire passing on the shoulder."**

The two held each other's gaze, neither wavering, despite the solid understanding that the brunet wasn't going to win this one. You weren't supposed to use the shoulder of the interstate to pass a man towing a U-Haul trailer. There was no way around that.

Cloud stood from the curb when Zack crawled away from the car, happy to help the black haired man return all of the tools to the trunk. Zack gave the group a wide smile, placing his hands on his hips.

"We're lucky this hunk of junk came with a spare."

Zack's face took on a moment of confusion, seemingly debating why he had actually used the phrase 'hunk of junk.' If he was lucky, Cloud hadn't heard him, and the foreigners were too foreign to know how lame that was.

Sephiroth stepped forward, his eyes locked on the smudge of grease that had smeared across Zack's jaw, just beneath that small scar. He resisted his urge to wipe the smear away, knowing that such a tender action would please his cousin far too greatly.

Cloud closed the trunk, sending Leon a warm smile upon noticing the signs of guilt creeping across the brunet's face. It would seem he was just beginning to realize that what he had done had been less than appropriate. Cloud didn't blame him for it. He couldn't stand getting locked in behind a painfully slow car. He was secretly thrilled that Leon had the balls to pull that maneuver.

"Don't worry. You're cute, and I'm sure that that crazy guy will understand."

Zack smiled at the blond, then moved his gaze to the brunet.

"It was about time for my turn to drive, anyway. So this actually worked out quite well."

"Vere are ve going, exactly? Squall und myself couldn't help but notice zat Orange Beach vas on zat side of Pensacola."

Sephiroth pointed west, his features clams, though his words held a sly undertone. Zack stared at his almost-lover for a moment before stepping forward and placing a quick kiss on Sephiroth's cheek.

"Can't be telling you that, honey!"

Sephiroth blanched, unable to respond as Zack kept smiling, turning to climb into the driver's seat.

"Now let's get gas and get back on the road. Think you'll stay up front with me?"

Sephiroth looked at the passenger door before looking at Leon.

"**I think they really are going to kill us, but…"** Sephiroth touched his cheek, to which Leon smiled and took over.

"**But we don't care?"**

Leon moved closer to Cloud, wrapping his arms around the petite blond's waist, slipping nimble fingers into the front pocket of the man's jeans. Sephiroth sighed, letting his hand drop to the car, popping open the door. He only shook his head and crawled into the vehicle to sit next to Zack.

Cloud looked up to this left, catching Leon's humored smile. The brunet stared at his cousin in the car for a moment loner before turning to the side, meeting the blond's stare. He pressed his face closer, capturing the other's lips in a closed mouth miss, though Cloud quickly changed that with one quick swipe of his tongue. Leon smirked against his lips, greedily accepting the intruding tongue, meeting it with his own. Cloud hummed in pleasured manner, brining his hand to clutch at Leon's waist, his fingers digging into the soft fabric of his shirt while Leon traced his hand up to Cloud's face, deepening their kiss.

Zack smiled, shaking his head as he watched the pair from where he leaned against the car, cringing while the numbers on the pump went up and up. He wondered if the pair had even noticed that he'd moved the car. Sephiroth wasn't so much paying attention to the two making out as he was enjoying the confused look on a little girl's face.

The child had proudly been awarded the freedom of walking in to use the bathroom by herself while Daddy pumped gas and fought the state map and Mommy made sandwiches in the back of the van. The girl had just made it to the curb of the storefront when the obstacle of two necking queers presented itself. Her eyes had grown wide, and she didn't seem to know what to do next. Sephiroth smiled at the lost child, pleased with the knowledge that the imagine would bring the child vast amounts of sexual confusion later in life. After all, if two boys could do that, then surely two girls could do it, too.

"Remember the last time we were at a gas station together?"

Sephiroth tore his gaze away from the frightened child who had just turned her wide, confused eyes to him, to raise an eyebrow at Zack.

"Ja. I remember. Ve got gas, right?"

Zack gave a pout, though it it quickly disappeared in favor of a more suggestive expression.

"And you were in my lap." He stuck out his tongue. "An oo eh ih."

Silver brows furrowed, having no idea what had just been said. Upon Zack's exaggerated show of his tongue, however, Sephiroth assumed the black haired man was referring to when he had bitten Zack's tongue in the car. Not that he would admit to the memory. Green eyes turned back to the little girl who had yet to move. He cast his gaze to Leon and Cloud, horrified to find his cousin's hand grabbing wildly at the blond's ass. The people behind the counter of the convenience store were staring, though they didn't look at all offended. Sephiroth supposed it made for a rather attractive sight, if he weren't so repulsed by the blatant sexuality of it. Sephiroth smirked as he continued to watch the pair lost in their passionate kissing, and opened the car door. He stepped out, immediately drawing the attention of the small girl in the way that only five feet of shining white hair could. He took a deep breath and prepared to contort his face into a rare expression. As the warm, almost genuine smile spread out over his lips, Sephiroth saw the little girl's face light up and he heard Zack drop the gas pump. He ignored the other man, though, moving to the girl who was already walking towards him. He wondered, vaguely, if he should drop out of college-- clearly he had a very promising career as a child abductor. He heard the retail price of a ten year old girl was rather impressive.

Zack watched with intense interest as a small girl ran to his tall, unfriendly lover. He was amazed when the girl reached him, and instantly lifted her hand for Sephiroth's. Even more amazing, was the sight of Sephiroth accepting the small hand, grasping it and linking their fingers before he began walking the girl towards the storefront.

Sephiroth tried to keep from flinching at the contact. He just didn't do kids. While they were, by no means, frightening like infants were, they still had a displeasure all their own in his opinion. Perhaps it was the germ factor, the crying, the dripping, snotty noses, and the fact that kids couldn't buy him lunch. Maybe it was just because they liked him so much. This was going to be worth it, though, he could tell. Leon was having far too much fun, and it was his duty to keep the other in line.

It was for the best that Sephiroth kept tabs on the pavement. If there had been a bottomless pit in front of the girl, she would have stepped right in it, as she had yet to look away from him. It had to hurt her little neck to crane her head up at him like that.

"You're really pretty."

Sephiroth looked down, offering the child another of his best manipulative-bastard faux-smiles.

"Danke." He gestured to his cousin and Cloud. "Is zat vat you're afraid of?"

The child looked as though she had a 'you talk funny' on the tip of her tongue, though she thought better of it. She had an great-aunt from Venezuela who tended to flip out when she said things like that to her. She nodded, instead.

"Are they hurting each other?"

Sephiroth had to withhold a smirk at Cloud's moans of 'pain.'

"Yes. The ozzer man is making him taste his teeth, and he doesn't vant to."

Sephiroth told himself that in some weird way, he was teaching the girl an important life lesson.

"And vat did parents tell you to do if any'von tries to make you taste z'eir teeth?"

The girl stopped abruptly, the burning in her bladder entirely forgotten as she watched the blond man "struggle" against the brunet.

"I'm supposed to tell daddy!"

Sephiroth nodded, releasing the girl's hand.

"Yes." he bent his knees and sat back on his haunches as he brought his face even to the girl's.

"You are a smart girl. Al'vays tell Daddy. Or, you can tell him." Sephiroth pointed, and the girl followed his graceful finger over to a parked policeman. The child's face took on a look of determination, and Sephiroth smiled when she snatched up his hand and led him to the cop car. He hoped that this wasn't going to back-fire on him. If asked why he was consorting with a ten year old girl, he supposed he could play the "she was lost and I only wanted to help" card. Besides, what child rapist would escort a kid to a cop? That had to prove something.

They approached the policeman, who was already eyeing the strange pair. It was relatively easy to realize that the two were not related, as the girl had a beautiful chocolate complexion with dark brown eyes while the man was nearly albino with and alarmingly green, serpentine gaze. He closed his game of solitaire, logged off of his laptop, and got out of the car when the two reached him. For shame, he'd been on a raging winning streak.

"Can I help you?"

Sephiroth only smiled, looking down to the little girl with encouragement. The policeman looked over their shoulders, hoping to locate the girl's parents. What caught his eye, instead, was a pair of teenagers making out on the front steps of the convenience store.

"I was trying to go to the bathroom and then I saw the man hurting the other man and then I made friends with him and he took me to you and will you please help the pretty yellow haired man, sir?"

Sephiroth withheld his smirk at the girl's fast paced wording, liking the look that took over the policeman's face as he worked through it.

"Hurting the pretty yellow haired man, hm?" The man, who's badge revealed him to be an Officer Luxor, put a hand on his hip as he tried to keep his smile from being too wide. Blue eyes observed the pair in question, finding something quite a bit different from abuse. He raised an eyebrow when the brunet man chuckled against the blond's lips.

"All right. I won't stand for this." He lifted a lazy hand to point at the pair, which caused the little girl to shake her head enthusiastically.

"Let's go...do justice or something."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow of his own at the policeman's nonchalant behavior, even it was painfully clear that the pair were not trying to maim each other. He rolled his eyes. At least he hadn't been accused of being a child predator.

By the time the justice trio made it to the other two, the little girls parent's caught sight of their daughter wandering around with a cop and some androgynous, silver haired thing. Both Mother and Father quickly made their way to the scene.

"What is going on here? Angela, what are you doing? Did this man try to hurt you?" The girl's mother was giving Sephiroth the evil eye, and the father seemed to be waiting for a reason to murder on his child's behalf. Angela's eyes got big, and she squeezed Sephiroth's hand tightly.

"No, Mommy! I was scared and he helped me and took me to the policeman so that we could save the blond man from the man in the furry jacket and then you came up!"

Sephiroth and Officer Luxor shared a look over the small girl, both clearly wondering if the girl ever took a breath. That was another thing Sephiroth had never understood about children from ages two through sixteen; they didn't bother to end one thought before beginning another.

The girl's parents seemed to relax, though her mother did not seem pleased until she convinced her daughter to release the strange man's hand and come to her. Reluctantly, Angela obeyed. She eyed Sephiroth forlornly from her mother's legs, five feet away.

When Sephiroth looked away from the pouting child, he found that Leon and Cloud had been approached by the policeman.

"It would seem that you two are creating a violent setting for our city's children. I'm not going to have to take you to jail, am I?"

Leon looked confused and suspicious, while Cloud turned bright red. It wasn't so much the policeman that had him nervous as the whole scene suddenly caught up with him. He was making out in front of a gas station in bum-fuck-nowhere, Florida. Kids were watching, kids' parents were watching, and policemen were weary...Sephiroth seemed quite proud of himself, though. The blond cast a withering gaze at the smug man, assuming that this was all his fault. Leon caught the look, and his grey eyes widened, also eyeing his cousin hatefully.

"Zon't blame me. You scared za girl." He motioned to the small girl standing with her parents.

"**You need to learn how to keep it in your pants."**

Leon barely refrained from patting his groin.

"**I am keeping it in my pants, asshole."**

Sephiroth sneered, but Angela looked exceedingly happy. She knew that the other man talked funny, but this was even better. Her eyes grew wide when another man entered the scene, flinging himself in front of the quarreling couple.

Zack lifted both of his hands, waving frantically at the policeman, and Sephiroth couldn't help but smirk widely.

"No, no Officer Sir! There has to be something wrong. I swear, I know they were probably being just a little but publicly indecent but they didn't mean it! I mean..." He pointed to Leon.

"He's European! He doesn't know any better! This is what they do over there, have sex in the streets and read dirty magazines and watch uncensored TV while they wear striped sweaters and train their poodles!"

Offier Luxor raised a confused brow, snorting in the back of his throat. Cloud looked disturbed, Leon confused, and Sephiroth seemed slightly offended.

"Ve're not French, Zack."

Cloud wrinkled his nose.

"Really? Why does everyone hate France so much. They didn't do anything."

Sephiroth didn't answer. He would have much rather been in France right then than America. French was easier, and the people there made more sense. They also had some damn good food, not that he could think of anything that had rivaled that chocolate sundae hamburger he'd had months ago.

Leon rolled his eyes.

"**Are you tossing out random hatred for France now? I swear to fucking God, you need to get laid."**

Sephiroth glared, crossing his arms tightly across his chest. He sneered at his cousin.

"Officer, I suggest ze maximum punishment. And mace."

With that, the towering man walked away, waving at Angela before making his way to the car.

The girl's parents looked confused, and held their daughter by the hand as they dragged her away. Sephiroth wondered when she would remember that she still hadn't gone to the bathroom.

"Ya know, I think I'm just going to let you kids off with a warning. Mace sounds a little excessive, and I've already got the Captain on my ass about that, if you know what I mean." He grinned, and waved a dismissive hand at the three as he withdrew a deck of cards from his uniform pocket, shuffling idly as he started to back away.

"Try not to be causing any more scenes. It's rough on the kiddies sometimes, no matter the persuasion."

Zack nodded dumbly, confused that this had all been a big waste of time. The other two had never been in danger of arrest, and the officer didn't even seem to care in the first place. He grinned nervously, almost embarrassed that he'd reacted as animatedly as he had. He remembered Sephiroth getting taken in, though, and there was no way that he could let anything like that happen again, and certainly not while they were on the road. He turned to the other two, smiling. Leon looked miffed, and Cloud was smiling smugly at his friend.

"Sweaters and poodles, Zack?"

Violet eyes narrowed, and Zack held out a stern finger, pointing towards the car, squaring his jaw and preparing to do his best Cid Highwind impression..

"Get in the god damn car, b'fore I start tearin' some faggot ass."

Cloud pretended to jump to attention, clutching Leon by the arm.

"Yes, Sir!"

33.33.33

Leon propped his feet up against the side of the car, his toes trying to strain away from touching the chilled glass of the window. They had gotten stuck in a terrible mess of traffic about a hundred miles back, so they were, according to Zack and Cloud, wildly behind schedule. He didn't mind so much, though.

He turned his head to the side, appreciating the soft curve of Cloud's cheek in the darkness of the back seat. Every other second, they would pass a street light on the interstate, illuminating the blond to him a little bit more. He smiled, moving his feet from the car side and curling his legs, rolling closer to his lover.

After learning that their car ride was going to be indefinitely prolonged, the pair had opted to fold down the back seats and stretch out a bit more. It was still rather cramped, and probably horribly unsafe. They were in an Impala, which was a car that did not generally lend itself to folding down back seats as would, say, a Prius, or a Suburban. Their upper halves were laid across the folded down seats, and their legs now disappeared into the blackness of the trunk, kicking and shoving at their sparse luggage when they felt the need.

"Clout..." The man in question peeked open an eye, offering a small smile at the other's use of his name.

"Leon." He said nothing more, just waiting, his blue eyes playful.

The chocolate haired German grinned, eyeing the other before propping himself up on an elbow to inspect their situation. Zack was driving, and his cousin was passed out in an awkward position in the passenger's seat. They could probably get away a little bit, so long as they stayed quiet. Zack was a good man, and he and Leon understood each other, even when they did not quite understand. Zack wouldn't try to mess up a little bit of back seat fun, and certainly wouldn't call attention to it. Sephiroth, on the other hand...

He felt a hand trace up his arm, and he looked back down. Cloud was eyeing him expectantly with a pale eyebrow raised. Leon leaned down a bit, pressing a kiss to the other's lips before debriefing his companion.

"Sephiroth is sleep. Not sure how long."

Cloud mentally swooned. There was just something about that heavy accent that got his heart beating. He loved it when Leon talked, though half the time he had to make the 'what" face that he'd come to hate himself over. At least, with Leon, he didn't accidentally mock his accent. He made a face. No, he saved that for Sephiroth, the one more likely to become offended. He stared up into grey eyes, and shoved all thoughts of mockery and Sephiroth right out of his mind, lifting his upper body and head towards Leon, catching his lips in a quick kiss before coming back down, bringing the other with him.

The brunet chuckled, though he made sure to stay quiet. He could feel the man beneath him trying to pull his shirt over his head, and he rolled his shoulders and angled his body away, allowing the other to push it over his head before sliding it off on his arms. He smirked down, content to watch as Cloud reached for his own top, sliding it up his lean, white frame, displaying inch by delicious inch of skin before his torso was completely exposed and the shirt was tossed carelessly to the side. Blue eyes stared up at him, daring him to move, and he could feel fingers running over his waist band.

**"You're not wasting any time at all, are you?"**

Cloud closed his eyes, and tipped his head back in a silent groan. That voice. It was dangerously sexy, and Cloud could detect a major change in his blood flow; it was as south bound as the little Impala on I-75. He mulled over that comparison, wondering if, secretly, he was a very large closet-dork for it. He caught sight of Leon, though, he was currently popping open the button of his own pants, and he decided that it didn't matter. Closet-nerd or not, he was totally getting laid. Now if only the secret police in the passenger's seat didn't wake up. Tanned hands slip up his side, and getting caught hardly seemed like a deterring factor.

Leon smirked up at Cloud, wondering why the other looked to lost in his own thoughts. This was hardly the time for thinking, in his opinion, and he sought to derail the other's distraction. He leaned up, wrapping his hands around the back of Cloud's neck, and pulled the other down for a kiss, working to keep the movement of their lips moderately quite, which had a thrill of its own for him. He massaged his lips over Cloud's, slipping his tongue out to trace along them, though Cloud ended that with a greedy slip of his own tongue, and all too soon they were battling for dominance, though it was a pointless altercation. Leon slid his hands down a bit, so that he was holding Cloud by either side of the face, forcing his tongue roughly into the other's mouth, no longer so concerned about noise level. He could feel blood thundering in his veins, probably a little too turned on by the nature of their risky activities, trying to fool around without being detected. Cloud did not seem to be fairing much better, and had an intense look of concentration on his face, slipping his hand down Leon's body, down to the open pants to clutch at the hot skin of his lover's erection, trying not to make any sort of groan or growl that would show just how hot he was, knowing what was in store for him. He grinned devilishly down at Leon, before blue eyes darted up to the front of the car. Zack was driving, and doing a rather admirable job of pretending he didn't know what was going on in the back, and Sephiroth was still asleep. He looked back down to Leon, gripping his cock tightly and giving him a few rough strokes.

"Fast."

The German smirked, and reached to shove his pants a little further down, and Cloud worked to slip his own down from his hips, though he removed his completely. It was cold, and it only got colder when Leon rolled them over, and his nude skin pressed against the chilled metal of the car floor. His head gently laid back against the bottom, and he could hear the hollow rush of the road just past the sheet of metal to his left. He wasn't sure why, but that only made him want Leon more. He spread his legs, a look of challenge on his face, which Leon returned with an eyebrow raised. The blond thought he couldn't do this without getting them caught? In his opinion, if anyone were going to get them busted, it was going to be Cloud, begging for his dick. He glared at the back of the seat, cursing his cousin's existence. Something like this shouldn't have been so rushed. He and Cloud were certainly going to have to make up for this as soon as they got to where they were going at such a terrible hour of the night.

Leon took the challenge, settling himself between Cloud's thighs, and looking down into bright, sly blue. Cloud had already wrapped his legs around him, which made him shudder to think about. The head of his cock slid along the line of the blond's ass, and the smile fell of his face, replaced with a pleasured frown. Grey eyes narrowed, and Cloud tilted his chin up, pressing his body towards Leon in a silent demand. The German was all too pleased to comply, and pressed forward. There was no time to spend preparing the other, and he doubted Cloud would mind. It didn't bother him in the least as the tip of his erection slid into Cloud's body, tight heat engulfing him, enveloping him entirely, and he had to work not to groan as he slid the rest of the way in. Cloud's eyes closed, and he tightened his legs around the other, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough that he drew blood. Leon helped him stay quiet though, when the other kissed him, tongue sliding against the new wound and taking the metallic blood in stride. He fought not to make any sound when Leon began to move, feeling that cock slide out of him before pressing back in, slowly at first before the other began to thrust at a faster pace.

Leon broke the kiss, feeling the taste of blood roll through his mouth as he thrust into his lover, angling his movements to the right a little, to where he knew he could make the other man writhe. He wasn't disappointed, as Cloud seemed to come unglued in his arms, and hands quickly threaded tightly into his hair, pulling him back down for another rough kiss as he kept pumping in and out of the heated passage.

"**You can't get enough of me, can you?"** He chuckled, muttering the words quietly into Cloud's ear. Cloud considered saying something overly complicated in return, because he knew how must Leon liked to say things that he couldn't understand, but the ability was beyond him as hot flesh crashed against his prostate repeatedly. His face pulled back in a near snarl, a silent, strained noise being made against the brunet's lips. He would _not _make a sound. Grey eyes surveyed the nearly violent was Cloud seemed to move against him, and Leon's whole body quivered in ecstasy. There was nothing like watching Cloud during sex. It was like pornography. Nasty, and loud, and blond pornography.

Cloud sighed, the most noise he could allow himself to make, lifting his hips up and immediately regretting it, as a low sound burst past his lips. He was tempted to look up and see if the other two had noticed, but he really didn't give a shit. Not when he was this close, and it was this good.  Leon laughed against the other's lips, his eyes closing as he felt a coiling and tightening in his lower stomach. Cloud was no better off, arching against the other as electricity coursed through him, every thrust hammering against that over-sensitive little collection of nerves within his body. They continued to move together, rocking and kissing and sneering, until it became too much. Cloud seized up beneath the other, wrapping his arms around Leon's shoulders as passion overtook him, and his whole body seemed to fall out of his control. Leon felt hot liquid splash against his stomach, and he would have smirked if he hadn't been working so hard not to moan, feeling the fire in his body spread, and releasing himself inside of the small man beneath him. He thrust a few more times, until he was completely spent, and stilled his movements. He looked down at Cloud, who was panting silently, blue eyes half lidded in exhaustion. It was hard work to fuck and not get caught. Thin lips contorted into a smile, and Cloud craned up to kiss the other, and Leon returned the grin. He slid himself from the blond's tired body, and reached to pull his pants back up. Cloud, who usually didn't bother redressing after their sex, figured that it would, indeed, be wise in this case. He reached down when Leon had moved, and threw his own pants back on before he was pulled against that gorgeous tanned chest. He was all to happy to settled into the other's hold, and kissed the skin of the other's arm before lying his head in the crook of Leon's shoulder. They couldn't be too far of now, surely. It would do them well to just sleep the rest of the way.

33.33.33

Zack was miserable. Violet eyes glared hatefully at the SUV that passed him, before he glared down at his own torment. He was hard, and Sephiroth was practically attached to the car door, passed out. He wasn't sure how the other would respond to being nudged awake for the simple sake of sating Zack's sexual distress, but the man wasn't sure if that was a safe thing to attempt.

He could have killed Cloud and Leon. How could they rut around in the back of the car while he was stuck up here driving, forced to be affected by the sounds they thought they weren't making? It was bullshit! He made a face, and cast his eyes across the darkness of the car to Sephiroth again. He didn't understand how something could be so fucking beautiful. It hardly seemed fair, especially in his condition now. How was he supposed to stand a chance? He also wondered why something so damn good looking had to be so damn volatile. He supposed that was for the best, though. If Sephiroth would have had the demeanor of, say...Dora the Explorer, and went around trying to help everyone he met while looking like _that_...well, Zack didn't want to think about it. He didn't have to, either, as his cock was making it hard to think about anything other than the way he was burning for some form of contact. He watched the road for a second, before he decided to risk being brutalized in the front seat of a shady Impala. He reached over to his lover, wondering how the other man could possibly be comfortable like he was. He ran his hand over the other's thigh and up to his arm, knowing that waking up Sephiroth required very little effort. He woke him up all too often just by moving in the bed, much to the other's displeasure.

Sephiroth woke with a start, tired eyes cracking open as he looked over to Zack in confusion. He closed his eyes tightly a few times, trying to work the sleep away as he pulled away from the door he'd been asleep against, and tried to stretch the best he could in the limited space. Hungry eyes watched the movement. Sephiroth stretching did very little to easy the pain in his lap. When the other had finally deemed himself to be awake, Zack looked to him, and gestured his head to the back.  "They're asleep."

Sephiroth tilted his head, too tired to look anymore curious than that. "So?"

Zack grinned at him, and let his eyes travel the other's body. He reached out for Sephiroth's arm, grabbing it and hinting that the other should slide closer to the center. The taller man complied, though he wasn't sure why, and moved closer. He was going to ask why when his eyes caught the straining bulge of Zack's jeans, and green eyes cut up to violet. Zack grinned, and offered the other a winning smile.

"I wouldn't have woken you up if this weren't serious business, Seph. Haven't you ever heard how dangerous it is to beat off and drive at the same time? I could kill us all in one fail swoop."

He looked over at the other and leaned in as far as he safely could while driving. Sephiroth took the hint, and moved the rest of the way, and their lips met in a brief kiss, though when Zack didn't move, Sephiroth pressed their lips together again, this time feeling Zack's tongue slide against his. He pulled back, much to Zack's displeasure, and thought about the situation. He ignored the fact that Zack was putting their survival on his shoulders, based on orgasm. Green eyes surveyed the road, and he noticed an upcoming blue sign.

"Zere is a rest stop in one mile. I am sure you could safely take care of your problem zere."

Zack rolled his eyes, and looked to Sephiroth, an expression of skepticism on his face.

"Please, Seph..." His look turned softer, and he nudged his head backwards.   
"They're asleep. They just got done screwing around, so they'll be out pretty deeply for a while, you know that.....Come on, babe...Please."

Sephiroth lifted a white eyebrow, not willing to admit how much he liked to hear Zack beg for him. It gave him a feeling of power that he otherwise felt that he lacked in bedroom with the other. Serpentine eyes cut over his shoulder, eyeing the sleeping pair, and the way they were huddled up to each other. At least the two seemed to care about one another, though you wouldn't know it with some of the things they said to each other in bed.

He looked at Zack, who had gone back to watching the road. He just watched him for a little bit, taking in his face against the harsh, orange lights on the road. He had never told the other how painfully attractive he found him, and he likely never would. Sephiroth didn't know how to bring it up, and so he just let it lie. He assumed that Zack knew. Surely he wouldn't touch something that he found _un_appealing.

Zack sighed, and looked out at the road. At this point, he figured he had a 20% chance of success. Those numbers spiked dramatically, though, when warm lips pressed against his jaw. A monstrous smile spread out over his lips, though it shrank into a tight lipped grin when a hot tongue dragged itself from his jaw to his ear, and breath huffed against his sensitive skin.

"Vat do you vant me to do, Zock..."

Sephiroth knew very well what Zack wanted him to do, but he was going to ask anyway. And Zack was glad that he did, because just hearing those breathy words in his ear had his pulse quickening, and his felt his neglected cock twitch. He turned his face to the side, and kissed the other. He couldn't kiss him as much as he wanted to, not without driving the car off the side of the road, which would _not_ lead to him getting sucked off, and therefore, was not an option to be entertained.

"Put me in your mouth, baby."  Sephiroth smirked at the other's words, and pulled Zack's earlobe between his teeth, earning a hiss of pleasure. A graceful hand moved out, over the console, and over to slip up Zack's leg. It came to rest on Zack's denim-covered erection, giving the hard flesh a firm squeeze as he pressed another kiss to the other's ear. Zack cringed when Sephiroth more or less made out with his ear, his breath heavy, far too turned on by Sephiroth's breathing and the hot, wet sensation at his tongue and lips on his sensitive ear. That mouth was far too good at far too many things, and Zack thanked God every day for dropping this creature into his life.

He smiled when he felt Sephiroth's hand move from squeezing him to working on the button of his pants. He didn't struggle too greatly, even in their awkward position, though Zack did help him with the zipper. Sephiroth could only reach him with one hand, and Zack didn't want to go through the agony of a zipper wound when other things could be taking place. He sighed when his stiff cock was freed to the open air, and Sephiroth cast his eyes down, from Zack's ear, to give it an appreciative look. He kissed Zack's ear one final time before pulling his face away, just looking down at Zack's arousal as he slid a finger up the smooth shaft, and finally gripped it, and rubbed his thumb over the head. Zack made a sound that was not so much of a groan as it was a breath, but it all counted the same to Sephiroth. He gave a small smirk, and looked to Zack once more before he leaned down.

Zack lifted his arm out of the way, all too happy to allow Sephiroth to lean down towards his erection. He rested his hand on the other's shoulder, his gaze flicking from the road down to the silver pooled in his lap. He was somewhat sad that he wasn't going to be able to see anything, but feeling was going to be more than enough.

Sephiroth lowered his face, bright green eyes taking in the sight Zack's waiting sex, cocking his head to the side a bit, careful not to touch the steering wheel before leaning in to kiss the head. He kissed it a few times, drinking in the way Zack's breathing patterns struggled to find some sort of regulation. He kissed along the shaft and down the base, letting his nose trace along the skin, above where he was kissing. He moved his head a bit, and kissed along the underside of it, letting his hand slip over Zack's thigh to slide into Zack's opened pants, reaching in to clutch the other's balls as he raised a bit, and slipped the head of the erection into his mouth.

Zack hissed the moment that hot mouth enveloped him. Good fucking God, this was one of those things that made life every bit worth living. His fingers threaded through white hair, and he fought to keep his eyes on the road as Sephiroth's tongue swirled over his tip before those lips engulfed him once more. He could feel the suction pulling at him, and he shuddered, chancing a glance downward. He couldn't see much, for all of Sephiroth's hair, but it was still a head in his lap, coupled with the feelings of being sucked off. Needless to say, the image was pretty damn hot. He gave a tight-lipped grin as he continued to play with Sephiroth's hair, rubbing his fingers over his ears as he brought his eyes back to the road. The wet sounds of that tongue and those lips moving over his cock were a hazard, and he had to reach over and turn the radio on to play softly, else he come far too soon.

Sephiroth smirked around hot flesh when he heard the obnoxious voice of a late night radio DJ. Part of him was concerned that the noise would rouse the out two, but it didn't seem like it was that loud. Besides, he know that Leon could sleep through a nuclear attack, let alone Disk Man Sam from W-S-U-X 69. If he had been a born and bred American, he would have appreciated the sexual humor in such a station name, however, that joke was left to be enjoyed by Zack alone. He had no idea why such a piece of shit car had XM radio, but at this point, Zack didn't bother questioning it.

Sephrioth shifted in his awkward position, twisting his upper body to support his movement a bit better, and drawing Zack deeper into his throat. It occurred to the American boy that, radio announcer be damned, his stamina was no match for the back of Sephiroth's larynx, or whatever the hell was that far down a throat. Zack hadn't passed anatomy, but he didn't need it to know that his own body was going through a very specific chemical reaction.  
He gave up on the radio, annoyed by the announcer, and more than willing to listen to the soft slurping sounds, regardless of the affect they had on his body. Did it really matter if he came sooner because he was listening to them? He was driving, anyway. He probably shouldn't be prolonging this.

That warm hand took up his testicles again, rolling them gently in his palm. Zack had to clear his throat to block out the groan, his thighs tensing as his lover kept up the treatment. He didn't need to see Sephiroth's lips to know that he was smirking, but it hardly hurt his ego. Those lips could smirk all they wanted—they were still wrapped around his cock.

Sephiroth kept up his movements, bobbing his head gently, taking Zack's erection in and out of his mouth, licking, sucking, and swallowing as he saw fit. He never let up the attention to Zack's balls, and he smiled when he felt those fingers tighten in his hair. It surprised him just how much he liked making Zack come.  
His eyes fell closed as he heard Zack's breathing speed up, and that hand moved from his hair to squeeze his arm in a silent warning for what was to come. He didn't flinch when hot liquid flooded his mouth, relaxing his throat and swallowing it as it met him. He slowed his steady movements, being sure that Zack was entirely worked through before letting the softening member slip from his lips. He lingered for a moment, before pressing a kiss to the skin just above Zack's base, and pulled away.

Zack watched as the other man sat up, going back to his side of the car without so much as a glance. Sephiroth could be so passionate at the time, but as soon as it was over, it was almost like he treated it like some sort of business transaction. He shook his head and reached out to him, running a hand up Sephiroth's thigh, and holding it.  
Sephiroth glance down at it, secretly pleased that it was there, even allowing himself to ghost his fingers over Zack's before resting his head back on the seat. Something about sitting on his ass in a car all day wore him out, and he saw no reason not to fall back asleep.

Zack smiled, watching as Sephiroth attempted to nap. The man couldn't have chosen a better time, either, as they drove past a giant sign, lit up with more lights than the economy would have liked. He drove on, finding peace in being the only one awake in the car, and was proud to say that he located their hotel with a relative ease.

He parked the car temporarily out front, and looked over the seat to the two cuddled up in the back. He slipped off his seatbelt, and reached out, slapping Cloud on the ass.

The blond woke with a start, a bit confused as to how arms wrapped around his waist had managed to smack him. One look over his shoulder to a wide grin settled that, though, and he rolled his eyes.  
"What?"

He whispered in a hiss, trying not to wake up Leon. From the way Sephiroth was slumped over in his seat, Cloud assumed he was asleep, as well.  
Zack smiled, and popped open his door.  
"We're here. I'm going to go get our room keys. You want to go ahead and wake them up, and get their stuff together?"

Cloud smiled, sleep no longer on his mind as he shook his head to clear his mind. Thank God. He was damn tired of sitting in a car all day. He eyed Leon, and how cute he was when he was drooling on the floorboard of the car. If Cloud had been a generous sleeper, he might have shared the jacket he'd been using as a pillow, but the blond had a nasty tendency to hog things in his slumber.

Zack nodded, and got out of the car in order to hunt down their reservations.  
Cloud, meanwhile, sat up, and looked around him. They were certainly a sad sight, cast about a Chevy Impala in a graceless and uncomfortable state of rest. He sighed, and prodded Leon with a thin finger.

"Hey. Hey! Get up, we can finally get out of the car."  
The brunet seemed unwilling to awaken just yet, and Cloud turned his sights to Sephiroth.

"I think there's a Wendy's across the street."

Green eyes were opened in a flash, though disappointment was clearly seen in them when all that was in sight was Cloud, the cracked leather of a dashboard, and the brick hotel. It was almost enough to make Cloud feel guilty.  
"Vere?"

Cloud raised an eyebrow, intent on playing dumb.  
"Vere vat?"

Sephrioth glared, not all that amused by the accent mockery.  
"Vendy's."

Cloud worked hard not to crack up, settling for a smile and the shake of his head.  
"No one said anything about Vendy's. We're here. Help me wake your cousin up, and get our things, so we can sleep in a real bed. Unless you like the passengers seat?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and climbed out of the car, coming around back to pull open the trunk. He looked down at Leon's sleeping face for a moment before slamming the trunk as loudly as he could. The answering think of Leon's head jerking up and smacking into it was more than satisfactory, and he smirked as he opened it up again, grabbing his suitcase.

"Guten Morgen, Squall."  
Leon glared, but Sephiroth only scoffed.  
**"Get up. We're here, and we can finally get out of this miserable car wreck waiting to happen."**

Leon grumbled, but he couldn't argue with that. He pulled himself out of the vehicle from the trunk, hauling his large bag with him. Cloud climbed out after him, pleased when Leon turned to grab his suitcase, as well. He figured he'd do Zack a favor, and picked up the dark haired man's bag as he went to close to trunk, only to pause.

"Oh. I borrowed someone's sweater for a pillow. Sorry." He reached for it, holding it out, though neither Sephiroth nor Leon made a move to grab it. Sephiroth looked a little ill.

"You slept on that?"  
Cloud looked a bit concerned, and nodded slowly. He didn't like Sephiroth's tone.

"Eh…That came vith za car. I find it shoved under driver's seat, with old Snickers bar."

Cloud barely had time to look positively ill, as Zack attacked him from behind, wrapping his arm around him happily.  
"Room number thirty-three. Two queens, a bathroom, and a mini fridge. Fuck the Impala. I'm taking the Holiday Inn."  
He grinned, laughing quietly as he took the strapped from Cloud's shoulder, and took it upon himself to grab Sephiroth's bag, as well. Had to be a gentleman for his lady, after all!

Sephrioth yawned, gladly ridding himself of the bag.  
"Vere are ve, exactly?"

Zack and Cloud's sly smiles were the only answer he received, and he cast a look to Leon as they started for their room.

**"If we die tonight...Please know that I absolutely loathe you."**

Leon balked.  
**"And know, cousin, that I heard you giving Zack head in the front seat an hour ago."**

Leon walked ahead, proud of himself, and a stunned Sephiroth glared, taking up the back of the line with a scowl. It was for the best that the two Germans didn't realize they were in Disney World. They would have probably squealed like little girls.


End file.
